starring: Ruby Larocca, Ford Austin and Brian Gunnoe
After an offscreen murder of the gal, we're treated to an heavy metal opening theme song specifically made for the film. (Unless you know any other songs out there that sings "Porkchop" like a National Anthem.) and put us back to familiar territories: stereotyped teenagers, in the woods, camping, fucking, eating, drinking. The only thing new here is the inclusion of
Yes, you heard me. He even scored a gal while we're at it.
And of course we had our killer, Porkchop, whose legacy is told in typical campfire folk-legend fashion being that he was once a boy who loved, lost and killed for a pig before disappearing into the woods. So when one of the drunken boys stumbled upon his home, Bad Piggy goes to work, and he's doing it with style and flair so familiar.
Porkchop had the so-bad-it's-funny thing going from the very beginning with intentional (?) bad-acting but as our campers go further into the woods, I begin to see all the opportunities this film missed to be anything but forgettable; it's weird enough to be satisfying and the story is easy to follow, but it also had the case of overcooked mozzarella. Some of the jokes just fell flat and sometimes ventures too much into the weird. Trying to be funny isn't bad, it would had saved the film actually, but it's when they're forcing it to be funny by dousing it with enough cheese to drown a horde of rats that I'll beg to question. It's either that or the fact that the low-budget gets in the way too many times as the audio often fades away that we could barely understand what's going on, the camera tricks exposes too much of its low-budget nature (if the car's supposed to be moving, then why aren't the trees moving behind them?), or that the editing is unskilled.
1 male head split with spear
1 female killed with spear
1 male brained with crocket mallet
1 female knife to the face
1 robot hacked to pieces with axe (if it fucks, I'm counting it...)
1 (pregnant) female chainsaw to the arse
1 unborn baby falls from from mutilated womb
1 male dart thrown to his head
1 male set ablaze