Budapest's Bloody Basement: The Basement (2017)

The Basement (US/United Kingdom/Hungary, 2017)

Rating: *1/2

Starring: Caroline Boulton, Marina Gera, Zsolt Páll

After their house party got shut down by a noise complaint, a small assortment of international students staying at an apartment in Budapest, Hungary got bored enough to do a séance. As they do, a door wasn't closed right so their house cat slips out into the night, which the group eventually notice after their little spooky séance session. When they step out to start looking for the furry fella, they hear the cat meowing from inside an abandoned city basement so they opted to continue looking down there, only to find that the place is seemingly haunted by a crazed figure resembling a woman wearing a broken mannequin's face who wastes no time hunting them down.

So, yeah, everything horrifying that happened in this movie started because someone's pet cat snuck out and wandered into the titular underground basement. Worst pet rescue ever!

I will give this movie points for the claustrophobic set-pieces, a few good peppering of gore here and there, impressive for a mini-production, but its direction and execution clumsily clunks through what little story The Basement (2017) has to offer, which is basically just five people going around concrete tunnels and hallways while a freak in a mask chases them down. Any sort of intrigue or conflict here is reduced to a few characters bickering whether the killer chasing them is an actual demon or an underground-dwelling nutcase, all done through an exaggeratedly uneven tone and dubious personality shifts from its casts. It can get annoying. Tiresome. Weird, even. We do get decent-ish reveal to the killer's true nature at the near end but, after enduring all that terrible acting and line-reading, not to mention the lackluster plotting, does it even matter?

The Basement (2017) is just forgettable. It does the most out of a small budget to make a little horror flick and I commend the attempt, but I'm not gonna pretend I have a swell time watching this worn-out wannabe spook-fest get further butchered by uninteresting victims-to-be. Skip it.

Bodycount:

1 male killed offscreen, blood spill seen

1 female dragged away, killed

1 male killed, blood splash seen

1 male found gutted, left for dead

1 female set ablaze

1 male had his throat sliced with a pickaxe

1 female brained dead with a brick

1 female gagged with a doll and strangled with a length of fairy lights

1 male hacked to death with a pickaxe

1 male doused in gasoline, set on fire

Total: 10

A Star is Torn: Pearl (2022)

Pearl (2022)

Rating: ****1/2

Starring: Mia Goth, David Corenswet, Tandi Wright

While Ti West's backwoods slasher X (2022) is a throwback shocker to 70s bodycounters and porn culture, his follow-up entry to this in-film universe is a loving yet nightmarish tribute to old Hollywood psycho-dramas, wherein we explore the maddened origins of a tragedy. A tragedy named Pearl.

It's 1918 and in the midst of Texas' Spanish flu outbreak; Pearl (Mia Goth) lives a life of near-isolation with her immigrant German parents, tending to their farm and running chores while her husband is out fighting a war in Europe. She wishes more to this life. More than cleaning after her wheelchair-bound invalid father. More than just trudging her days away following the orders of her joyless mother whose spirit was broken just to set foot in America. More than feeding animals and running to drug stores. No, Pearl wanted fame. To be Hollywood's next chorus girl, or even it's next biggest star. And she sees the opportunity for this when, while sneaking off to see a movie at the local town, she spots a dance audition to be held at her local church.

Though encouraged by her sister-in-law Mitsy and a handsome, young projectionist to try out, Pearl's enthusiasm for the chance gets seemingly crushed by her mother's stern and sharp tongue one fateful night, only to end in an accidental blaze which leaves the matron roasted and dying. Seemingly free from the weight of her parents dragging her down, Pearl sets her heart and feet to wow the judges with nothing but sheer determination and a head high in the clouds. 

Given, that is, she doesn't break down and continue her new found bloodlust for a spree killing, temper flaring and desperation growing...

With a collaborated script written by director Ti West and lead actress Mia goth during a mandatory 2-week COVID-19 quarantine at New Zealand prior to filming X (2022) (leading to both films being shot secretly back-to-back), Pearl (2022) is a dark coming-of-age character study showcasing the declining mental stability of the titular disturbed farm girl with illusions of grandeur and a boiling murder streak. Filled with lively technicolor and surreal imagery conjured up by Pearl's fantasies (this including a spectacular dance number with fireworks, and too a rather hilarious shot of a scarecrow with David Corenswet's head on it, injecting some bit of levity), the film sets us in a position to find sympathy for the Devil, a slowburn descent to madness carried powerfully by Goth's performance as she navigates her character from being uneasy yet sweet, to downright creepy and unhinged, a masterclass of acting that delivers horrors of both psychological and emotional kind.

Indeed, the story here is an exercise on resentment and turmoil, ripe with enough pulpy savagery as Pearl's horrifying confliction have her both enjoying and regretful of her terrible thoughts and deeds. One one end, she wants nothing but love and understanding from those around her, and yet she'll strike down with furious anger at the same folks the moment they do something that go against her wishes, cultivating to a third act that dishes out a body count, as well as an impressive screaming fit during the auditions and a five-minute single-take monologue that taps into Pearl's broken psyche when she's given the opportunity to let all the dirty laundry out, this including her murders. (Much to the requester's regret) Heck, even the end credits showcase just how broken Pearl would become, with the entire thing done with Goth simply holding out a smile to the camera for almost two minutes, face straining and eyes tearing up as the credits roll and Tyler Bater's impressive score transitions from disturbingly whimsy to haunting. (Though, apparently, this was unplanned;  Ti West refused to call "cut" during the shoot as he wanted to see how long Mia could hold up the smile, making the unhinged grimace uncanny rather effectively) 

As much of the focus centers more on Pearl's plight and ambitions, the kill count here isn't that high and about half of them occur offcamera, though those we do get to indulge onscreen did boast some worthwhile brutality and chunky gore effects, particularly one involving an axe murder that I believe is a tribute to the Joan Crawford proto-slasher Straight-Jacket (1964). The theme of sex as taboo is also looked into here as one of Pearl's repressed indulgences, in which she's so starved for love and attention that she's seeking courtship from anyone - or even anything- only to feel guilty, disgusted and shameful for herself for breaking her vows with her husband which further fuels her inner dilemmas.

Greatly a melodrama period piece with a slasher-adjacent climax, Pearl (2022) simply works. It just works! It's an impressive feat of horror fiction, creepy yet heartbreaking, chilling yet sympathetic, an unbridled dive down the mind and heart of a brand new horror icon that steals the show with grit and glee. Yes, it may take a while for the absolute gruesome to get going, but the path through the story has enough interest and drama to steal the scene, thus an overall rewarding watch for the patient. What else is there to say but see this gem of a film!

Bodycount:

1 male stabbed to death with a pitchfork

1 male smothered with a towel

1 female hacked to death with an axe

1 female dies from burn wounds

Total: 4

Shattered Glass At Midnight: Cinderella's Revenge (2024)

Cinderella's Revenge (United Kingdom, 2024)

Rating: **

Starring: Lauren Staerck, Natasha Henstridge, Stephanie Lodge

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far far away, there's a man who got himself framed for stealing the king's priceless jewels. A bounty gets put on his head and his wife, the heartless wench, is happy to help herself to said bounty. So she hired men to do the dirty deed of murdering him for the reward money, leaving the man's daughter, Cinderella, under the mercy of her stepmother and two stepdaughters who eagerly enslave and abuse her in many painful ways just because they can.

Some time passes and kingdom holds a royal ball, a gathering Cinderella is ordered by her stepfamily not to attend, otherwise a very severe punishment will be upon her for disobeying. Pushed to the limits of the cruelty she is subjected to, Cinderella begs whoever can hear for at least a night to attend this ball just so she could be happy in her troubled life for once. And very fortunately for her, the wish is heard and answered by a witty, benevolent and sassy fairy godmother, who is more than willing to bend the laws of time and space to bring in some top men from the 20th century such as designer Tom Ford, hairstylist Vidal Sassoon and footwear extraordinaire Christian Louboutin to help pizzazz the girl up from drab to fab~! 

Cinderella gets driven to the ball by Elon Musk and his Tesla, dances with the dashing prince who fell in love with her at first sight (much to the dismay of her stepmum and stepsisters), but she has to leave before midnight as the magic used to grant her wish can only last that long. A glass slipper gets left behind. The prince finds it and sends his people across the land to seek its owner. You know where this is headed...

...Except, not really: the next day, one of the prince's men makes their way to Cinderella's abode looking for the owner of the glass slipper, forcing her wicked stepfamily to bound her shut and lock her up inside one of the rooms while they try and fail to make the slipper fit. Which includes the whole toe-cutting gag that was originally in the Brothers Grimm book. Appalled, the prince's associate leaves with the slipper, thus taking away Cinderella's one chance of escaping her abusive family. Only, her ever-reliant fairy godmother don't think so. In fact, she thinks it's high time for the girl to stop being an absolute doormat and start standing up for herself. Take some real action against those who lashed at her with sharp tongues and cracking whips. Cinderella needs to take revenge on those who wronged her and our devilish fairy godmother just has the cursed mask to do it~

There's no denying that Cinderella's Revenge (2024) isn't a good movie. Not in the technical sense, at least. The effects are cheapened with dollar store props and too many CG visual works, the editing slopped up the flow of the story more than once and the writing is hammy to the point that the supposed horrific acts of abuse Cinderella endures fail to bring genuine horror. It's upsetting, yes, but it lacks a hard bite. Cinematography is nonexistent and a good bunch of the sets hardly impresses for how barren and lifeless they feel, but I will give the movie this: it made me laugh a lot! 

Direction-wise, Cinderella's Revenge (2024) takes a stab at satire by occasionally poking fun at itself, looping in weird anachronistic jokes and a whole lot of liberties on how the fairy godmother gets portrayed here as a caring yet psychotic guardian who is more than happy to suggest murder as a way out of an abusive household. It can and will be cringey, nonsensical even, but the cheese is undeniable and so does the unexpected laughs it brings. The slasher second act also delivers on the revenge elements well enough, which is plainly cathartic for those who always thought the wicked stepmother and the ugly stepsisters got away too easy in most of today's watered down depiction of the story. I do, however, wish that the whole killer Cinderella jig could have been more fantastical and carnal considering how brutal the original version of the story is with its eye-pecking birds and red-hot iron shoes forced upon the evil stepmother. Instead, we get the standard, by-the-book stabbings and throat cuttings, as well as a brutal beating with a croquet mallet. Nothing to loose sleep over but it gets the bloody job done.

Fairytale horror are often a hit or miss and Cinderella's Revenge (2024) certainly have more than enough misses than hits, but the sheer tongue-in-cheek of it all does save it from being completely unwatchable. Come for the blood, stay for the unintentional laughs!

Bodycount:

1 male decapitated with a sword

1 male gutted with a knife

1 female had her eyes plucked out, throat cut with a knife

1 female gets a shoe's heel to the temple

1 male stabbed to death with a knife 

1 female pounded to death with a croquet mallet

Total: 6

Into The Woods, Down The Hill: Mercy Falls (2023)

Mercy Falls (United Kingdom, 2023)

Rating: *1/2

Starring: Lauren Lyle, Nicolette McKeown, James Watterson

As a child, Rhona caught a glimpse of an incident involving her father and an injured horse, a moment in her life that troubled her so much that her relationship with him strained to the point she barely visited him as an adult. Now that her father passed away, Rhona learns that she inherited their old family cabin up in the Scottish Highlands, so she plans a hiking trip through the moors with her boyfriend and a couple of friends to visit the place and see what became of it. Along the way, they tagged along a lone traveler named Carla, who may or may not have a bit of screws loose after the horrors she faced back when she was deployed to fight a war at Afghanistan. 

As the day goes by, the would-be jovial hike begins to devolve into an intense stay when romantic and sexual tensions between the group have them arguing and quarreling with one another. When push comes to a literal shove, the gang soon find themselves in a situation they weren't prepared for as one of them ends up dying and someone's sudden spring of bloodlust have them hunting and hacking the rest of the group.

Looking past the gorgeously scenic camera work and the good enough acting talent presented here, Mercy Falls (2023) feels like it was robbed of an opportunity to do a better story seeing, prior to anyone from the group biting the big one, the narrative seems to be heading more on a direction focusing on the psychological horrors of trauma and distrust. It dances around the rising tension within the gang as they question the credibility of their friendship and love life, as well as the mental health of the few joining them after catching one too many suspicious activities the longer they stay outdoors, but that's eventually tossed away for a more traditional survivalist-type backwoods slasher run once one of them decided to give an unfortunate fella the knife-across-the-throat treatment after concluding he didn't have long to live with a big stick impaling his thigh. The mercy killer is then found out to have stayed at a mental ward and, just because they couldn't trust the group anymore, opted to hack and slash their way through them.

This unfortunately cheapens the rest of the movie since the killer's motive could have been explored further for better thrills but, rather, Mercy Falls (2023) went ahead with the usual simplification of PTSD equaling to homicidal tendencies, thus making the mad maniac here genuinely unremarkable. Pairing this misfire with a predictable and overlong stalk-and-stab situation, as well as murders that are barely captivatingly splashy or gory, and you would, in due course, get to climactic showdown that's disappointingly isn't anywhere as satisfying or impactful as it could have been due to its lack of tension and personality. Really underwhelming stuff here bearing in mind how well the movie starts.

If you're not in a very demanding mood, then Mercy Falls (2023) makes a suitable timewaster, I guess. It has enough production quality to look good and, honestly, I have seen worse backwoods killing sprees out there, but you can also do better than this downhill tumble from high ground to flat dirt. Good plot, terrible execution.  

Bodycount:

1 male had his throat cut with a combat knife (flashback)

1 male stabbed to death with a combat knife (flashback)

1 male had his throat cut with a hunting knife 

1 female shot on the neck (flashback)

1 male hacked to death with a hiking pick

1 female hanged

1 male stabbed in the gut with a hunting knife

1 female set ablaze by a gasoline-doused flaming torch

Total: 8

Broken and Vengeful: Bedevilled (2010)

Bedevilled (Kim Bok-nam salinsageonui jeonmal) (South Korea, 2010)

Rating: ****1/2

Starring: Seo Yeong-hie, Ji Seong-won, Min-ho Hwang

Evil triumphs when good men do nothing.

Hoping to escape the busy bustle of Seoul's big city life, as well as the troubles that come with it like a stressful office environment and being a witness of an assault, Hae-won decided to take a week long vacation at her home island, Moo-do, and spend some time with her childhood friend, Bok-nam, who have been writing letters to her. Little does she know, however, are the daily horrors Bok-nam suffer at the hands of the few remaining islanders living there as not only is she berated and shunned by the island women for not meeting their outdated norms of a dutiful and loyal wife, but she also physically and sexually abused by her brutish spouse and sleazy brother-in-law. Her only respite to all of her suffering is her daughter Yeon-hee and the fleeting chance of escaping her hellish island life to Seoul. A chance that might finally be at reach with Hae-won's arrival and help.

Unfortunately, despite Bok-nam's pleas and horrifying suspicions that Yeon-hee is being groomed by her own father, Hae-won turns a blind eye to the request, leading to Bok-nam taking matters at her own hands and attempt to leave the island with her daughter on her own. This only leads to a harrowing loss that finally breaks Bok-nam and, with Hae-won further refusing to help with the matter and the islanders' continuing maltreatment, a sickle is wielded and everyone will feel the wrath of a woman forever scorned...

Bedevilled (2010) is, without a doubt, one of the hardest movies for me to watch and I say that as a compliment to just how well it works not only a revenge-driven psychological slasher, but as a movie in general; for the first hour, it explores the extent of cruelty upon an undeserving party and the consequences of being a bystander, having us uncomfortably witness the full brunt of the abuse Bok-nam endures day by day, a matter that's actually encouraged by the aging island women whose mindsets are still stuck in the old gender norms of men being respected despite the stones they throw upon their spouses, and that a woman's job is only to be loyal to their husbands and do nothing but provide and serve. The film reaches to an extent that it brews a boiling sense of outrage from its audience, even more so when the film presented more than one chances for Bok-nam to be free of her horrible mistreatment, only for it to be swept away by hushed tongues, blind eyes and lies. It's a different kind of horror, one that hits a brand of realism all too well thanks Seo Yeong-hie's outstandingly heart-rending role and performance as the victim of all of these horrible deeds, and too the fact that despite Hae-won being presented as the main character of the plot, the direction and focus are mostly centered around Bok-nam's grueling hardships, making it quite easy to develop our sympathies for her plight.

Eventually, it all has to reach a breaking point and, after one irreversible act of violence, Bedevilled (2010) dives into a cathartic revenge-fueled murder spree as the islanders meet the bladed point of a sickle one by one. Necks hacked, heads decapitated, guts knifed, it's all as satisfying as it can get, a deserving pay-off filled with good gore, savage bloodletting and harrowing intensity after watching these villains haughtily justify their assault and persecutions for the longest time, reducing them to victims begging for their lives once the tables finally turn against them. And yet, in the midst of this eye-for-and-eye retribution play, there's an underlying feeling of misery and heartache as the film subtly reminds us that it didn't have to come to this bloodshed. There's no smile in Bok-nam's face as she murders these people. No quips. No fanfare. Just a stoic face, a broken spirit and pure methodic deaths that could have been prevented when the right people stepped in, a graze of complexity that has this bodycount achieving more in depth than just your regular horror film kill streak.

The final act is where Bedevilled (2010) works its emotionally-scarring character study into your typical slasher flick showdown as Hae-won sees herself trapped in a police station, the only officer there seemingly murdered, with a very maddened Bok-nam waiting there to finish what she started. It's the usual trappings of chase sequences, blows traded and a crazily gory last kill, but it's still punctuated with an emotional dour mood that's in line with the movie's cathartic development, ending on a bittersweet yet still devastating note that touches on the melancholic.

Admittedly, Bedevilled (2010) is not a movie for everyone. The brutality of the abuse shown can come to a point where it feels uncalled for, or at least have one welding a strong constitution to sit and bear it. At the end of it all, though, the promised conclusion is one to deliver and remember. One that rewards your patience and rage with a rush of psychological release through bloody sickle kills upon those who deserves it. If you think you're up to it, then see this unsung revenge masterpiece!

Bodycount:

1 female murdered offscreen

1 girl lands head-first on a rock

1 female hacked on the neck with a sickle

1 female hacked on the back of the head with a sickle

1 female hacked with a sickle

1 elderly female jumped off a cliff and landed on rocks

1 male decapitated with a sickle

1 male gutted with a knife, hacked to death with a sickle

1 male shredded through a boat propeller 

1 male bashed to death with a sledgehammer

1 female repeatedly shot, stabbed in the throat with a recorder flute

Total: 11

Bloody Leg Warmers: Murdercise (2023)

Murdercise (2023)

Rating: **1/2

Starring: Kansas Bowling, Nina Lanee Kent, Jessa Flux

We got slasher films taking place in film shoots (Destroyer (1988), The Freeway Maniac (1989)) and we got slasher films taking place during aerobic sessions (Killer Workout (1987), Death Spa (1989)). But what if we have a slasher film taking place in both? During the filming of an aerobics workout video?! 

This is where Murdercise (2023) comes in, a microbudget production of the horror-comedy variety following a small studio shoot of an overly sleazy exercise video with a group of buxom babes in skimpy bathing suits and skin tight leotards bending and bouncing in front of a leering camera. Everyone's having a good time except for one Phoebe (Kansas Bowling), who thinks this is supposed to be a serious workout video and proceeds to be a stick in the mud by openly complaining at how perverse the choreography have been and actual exercise is very important to hot-blooded Americans, more or less leading to her being mocked, disrespected and hated by the other cast members.

The plot thickens when hard-as-nails mafia princess Isabella (Nina Lanee Kent) waltz in and is given a role in the video as a favor for her mother, whose husband is financing the entire filming. The wild child is basically there to keep herself out of trouble and does pretty well at that by striking an immediate friendship with Phoebe, teaching the obsessed fitness nerd how to properly assert herself. Phoebe, however, may have taken in these teachings with a slight twinge of crazy as, when the producer steps away for a bit and left her in charge, she settles to put an end to all of the staffs' crudeness and takes the rectitude of the shoot into her own hands. 

Her scissor-wielding, steel pipe-jabbing, folding chair- swinging hands.

From Paul Ragsdale and Angelica De Alba, who previously gave us the bad-girl-vs-misogynist-cult revenge thriller Streets of Vengeance (2016) and the bachelorette party-gone-murderous backwoods slasher Slashlorette Party (2020), Murdercise (2023) is an exercise (pun-intended) of off-the-wall horror comedy exploitation disguised as a nostalgic throwback and, seeing all the busty potential victims, murderous betrayals and a few other deadly surprises, the film's undoubtedly succeeds on being one of the crazier and sleazier microbudget slashers to ever grace my eyes. 

The direction and writing are practically tailor-made to be as hammy as the over-the-top performances of its casts, hitting most of its slapsticks and jokey dialogue with an acceptable amount of raunchiness and quirk. (Especially Drew Marvick as Chuck, the group's overly enthusiastic everyman. He's cool!) Eye candy is also a certainty here for those who like their bodycounters with a generous amount of skin, taking into account that the film isn't shy on cashing on the bare bods whenever a gag calls for it. The only thing that kinda gets in the way is the fact that not a lot of characters here are likeable and while I do understand they're supposed to be cartoonishly obnoxious for the laughs, a good chunk of them does the bitchy persona way too well that I just find them irritating. Fortunately for me, the movie packs a decent bunch of kills to go around and what little special effects done within the filming's micro-budget does look pretty neat and bloody.

As a crowdfunded indie project, Murdercise (2023) is hardly what you call a throwback masterpiece but you can very much tell everyone involved had fun for how energetic and comfortably nuts it is. It's campy, steamy and overall silly, I say exercise your right to see a simple rompy slasher and give this one a go! 

Bodycount:

1 female strangled to death

1 female stabbed to death with a pair of scissors

1 female had her throat crushed with a folding chair

1 male jabbed in the eye with a steel pipe

1 female strangled with a belt, beaten to death against a table

1 male gets a hammer claw to the head

1 female gutted with a knife

1 male had his head carved with a chainsaw

Total: 8

Never change, Chuck. Never change.

Don't Disturb Evelyn, She Already Is: Mountaintop Motel Massacre (1983)

Mountaintop Motel Massacre (1983) (AKA "Horrors at Mountaintop Motel", "Mountaintop Motel")
Rating: ***

Starring: Bill Thurman, Anna Chappell, Will Mitchell

Ah, the backwoods in a horror movie. Filled with spiders, snakes, the usual doomed victims of a sickle-wielding maniac and a looney old bird who happens to be said sickle-wielding maniac~!

Middle-aged Evelyn, a former mental patient, runs and lives with her daughter, Lorie, on the eponymous Mountaintop Motel, a cabin-in-the-woods motel property off a local highway. It's only been a few years since Evelyn's release from the ward and Lorie believes her mum isn't really all that well still, presented to us with Evelyn going stabby on a pet guinea pig after she caught it eating some of the vegetables she's growing. On a very macabre turn, Lorie holds a séance of sorts with rabbits and goats in the catacombs underneath the motel, attempting to communicate with her late father for some guidance. Evelyn sees the ghoulish practice and, not being a big fan of it, goes on a sickle fit hacking everything she could hack. Including, accidentally, Lorie.

Distraught, Evelyn props her dead daughter's body up in a staged gardening accident and phones in an ambulance. The local sheriff accompanying the paramedics doesn't believe the death happened as Evelyn described it, though, but decided to let it go for now as he has little to no proof to indict Evelyn for any serious charges. As Lorie gets laid to rest, Evelyn's psyche reaches voices-from-the-void level and starts thinking everybody is out to get her, a breakdown that gets worse by the time she returns to the motel.

As night falls and a storm rolls in, a variety of guests arrive to check in at the Mountaintop Motel, consisting of Evelyn's alcoholic pastor friend, a old black carpenter who needed a spot to rest, a pair of young newlyweds in their honeymoon, an ad executive and two cousins who are aiming to hit high as singers. A fallen tree would soon block their only way out and kill off the lights and phone line, trapping these hapless ladies and gents for a night of not only Evelyn's dirty little pranks and surprises, but also her unraveling mental state and the blood-soaked sickle that comes with it! 

Mountaintop Motel Massacre (1983) isn't a great movie, though it's not entirely a bad one neither; the most notable eccentricity of the film is the fact that for almost an hour after Evelyn got away with accidentally murdering her own kid, the story simply drawls through the old hag's short reign of mischief as she places snakes, roaches, and rats in the guests' rooms through a handy system of underground tunnels and trap-doors in the cabin floors, allowing Evelyn access to all of the tenants and inconvenience them without anyone detecting her. (Though inconvenience is putting it lightly to the fella who got bit in the face by a venomous snake. That's straight-up assault!) Not exactly the kind of horror one expects from a movie that has massacre in its title and I do see how this can get tiring to sit through, although most of the characters at play here do add some life and intrigue towards some of the duller moments, mainly the two old fellas sharing an engaging talk about church work while swigging booze and the two cousins who are having a conflict of moral grounds as they argue about sleeping with a sleazy con pretending to be a music agent. 

The hokey yet eerie atmosphere of the direction and plotting is also greatly encapsulated through its dilapidatedly macabre set-designs and 60s B-movie inspired score. Once Evelyn got the word from her dead daughter's voice to go kill, her massacre is gloriously bloody and savage with a few excellent-looking gore make-up, working as much splatter as they could with the little bodycount to go around. This leads to a climax that's kinda awkward to watch but hilarious for the corniness of it all as two middle-aged folks struggle around with a gun and a sickle, thankfully paid off with one last kill and a decent shot of the resulting gore effect. 

As lumbering as the story's stride is, there's a honest cheesy charm to Mountaintop Motel Massacre's simplistic plot and nutty exploits and I can't help but appreciate the effort given, even more so when it tries to break the typical slasher formula for something a tad different yet fun. Far from the finest, sure, but an enjoyable 80s slasher nonetheless! 

Bodycount: 

1 female hacked with a sickle

1 female slashed across the face with a sickle

1 male hacked on the chest with a sickle

1 female repeatedly hacked with a sickle, sliced through the cheeks

1 male had his throat slashed with a sickle

1 male had a hand hacked off with a sickle, hacked

1 female gets nearly decapitated with a sickle

Total: 7

The House of Goatface: Kill Her Goats (2023)

Kill Her Goats (2023)

Rating: *1/2

Starring: Arielle Raycene, Ellie Gonsalves and Danielle Mathers

From Steve Wolsh, the creator of 2015 Saint Patrick's Day-set swamp slasher Muck, comes another slasher film that's just as bad! Why bother, Mr. Wolsh. Why bother?

Described as an 80s style home invasion-turned-slasher flick, the plot revolves around an infamous local Massachusetts property known as The Tupp House and the bimbo who now owns it as a graduation gift thanks to daddy buying it for her. She invites two of her gal pals to get soaked up and topless at the beach, get drunk on quality wine, and do whatever else doomed ladies in eveningwear do during a housewarming party. Some weird stuff happens at the house that night and one of the girls gets a surreal dream sequence involving a goat, a cemetery and a booby goat demon emerging out of a puddle, all of this leading to this movie's goat head-wearing psycho "Goatface" to pop up and attack the girls (all the while sparklers are attached to their weapon for some reason), thus starting our stalk-chase-kill act fifty minutes into the film...

As you can tell, not a lot happens for almost an hour after the opening murders, which would have been alright if the slowburn approach is anywhere as interesting as it imagined itself to be. For a long while, we are practically just sitting through girls doing whatever it is they feel like doing to get the run time reach feature length, a quite a dulling experience considering these Playboy playmates have the acting chops of a braindead mannequin playing easy-on-the-eyes but unlikable, boring characters. Once "Goatface" finally shows up (played by none other than Kane Hodder), Kill Her Goats (2023) had the opportunity to glow as a potentially wicked throwback to golden age slashers and it did look like it was going with that angle with its fairly decent chase scenes, brutal attacks and a fair dash of bloody slayings done in pure practical effects, but this is soon squandered by a lackluster twist, two sisters having a catfight with axes and bad puns, as well as a last act where one of them goes on a random killing spree that's nowhere as shocking as it sounds. All that good stuff, ruined by dumb writing direction...

The whole thing is just one tedious mess. The story just hardly made any sense at the end of it, the production is handled clunkily with its lack of budget and any shots taken by the film to be cheeky and hokey is just infuriatingly terrible. A tired and messy affair of girls in skimpies running away from a big, powertool-wielding loon in a mask, Kill Her Goats (2023) is just cheap, run-in-the-mill and paperthin, even for a slasher. 

Bodycount:

1 male slaughtered to death with modified hedge trimmers 

1 female had her throat cut against modified hedge trimmers, forced to bleed to death after killer hoisted her by the neck

1 female found slaughtered to death

1 male decapitated with a sword

1 male hacked to death with an axe

1 male hacked to death with an axe

1 female beaten to death

1 female impaled on a sharpened wood, smothered with a pillow

Total: 8

She's Titanium: M3GAN (2023)

M3GAN (2023)
Rating: ***1/2
Starring: Allison Williams, Violet McGraw and Ronny Chieng

If there's anything I learned from watching murderous robot movies is that it usually starts with a good (or, at least, "good-ish") intention; The Terminator (1984) started with a revolutionary defense network computer. Chopping Mall (1986) started with "Protector bots" getting set to patrol a mall. These machines were all designed and programmed to benefit us, but once that programming becomes problematic for the bots, the bodycount drops and all hell breaks loose. Producers James Wan and Jason Blum, along with director Gerard Johnstone jumps into this bandwagon with their film M3GAN, showing us what would happen when a highly advanced "toy" is programmed to do most, if not all child-rearing duties, all the while having the industrial robot strength to tear someone's head off.

At Funki Toy Corporation, developer Gemma wants to revolutionize robotic toys by working on a prototype autonomous doll with highly adaptive artificial intelligence. Lovingly nicknamed M3GAN, for "Model 3 Generative Android", the doll fails to show any value for Gemma's CEO boss David Lin as not only did the prototype's impromptu first demonstration end up disastrously with melted silicone and computer glitches, but the CEO is more interested in making sure Funki is still on the top of the toy market food chain after finding out competitors started making cheaper knock-offs of their more popular products, forcing Gemma to continue working on improving their pre-existing brands instead.

Further hindering Gemma's plans on finalizing M3GAN is an unexpected turn in her life; after a road accident took the lives of her sister and brother-in-law, Gemma becomes the guardian of her young niece Cady James. This initially clashes greatly with Gemma's workaholic life, but she's determined to do her best in balancing out her work days with nurturing Cady, even if it meant finding somebody else to carry the burden. 

Somebody, or something.

This inspires Gemma and her colleagues to propel themselves to finally perfecting M3GAN and have decided to make Cady the doll's primary user. After another demonstration in which M3GAN showed great interaction with the girl, David is impressed and convinced that this will surely put Funki ahead of other toy companies, thus starts a campaign project wherein Cady becomes the poster child for a planned public unveiling for M3GAN. What everyone fails to take account for, however, is just how good M3GAN is as at bonding with Cady, so much so that the girl has grown an unhealthy attachment to the robot. Furthermore, M3GAN's growing independence is vastly improving and adapting past beyond parental and emotional support, soon developing a manipulative and mechanical bloodlust that have her eliminating anything and anyone she views as a threat to Cady's well-being.

The truth of the matter is, M3GAN is a big melting pot of varying horror tropes found not only in "bot gone rogue" fright flicks, but also in "killer toy" horror stories wherein the plaything gets to do away one victim at the time as it takes advantage that no one would suspect a child's toy to be the killer, even if said toy happens to be as tall as a child, programmed to walk, talk, learn and do dances out of the blue. That being said, what it lacks in originality, it makes up with silliness and cheese, the kind of cheeky entertainment one would enjoy once we shut off the big melon between our shoulders and accept the fact that a killer robot child can do that much damage and have enough sass to still go around. 

An attempt for depth is present, yes, with the script taking the time to bring up the consequences of children getting too attached to gadgets and technology-based toys as it affects their developing social skills and relationships, as well as showing the negative impacts of adults choosing to use technology as a rearing tool and a mean to avoid problems. The execution for these themes, though, often comes paired with directions littered with horror tropes and chuckle-worthy craziness, making the attempted drama feel majorly hammy and misplaced. For most, this would be a real deal breaker, but if you don't really see this as that big of a problem and you're just in it for the popcorn-friendly fun, then M3GAN still delivers. 

Among its share of good points, the film has a preposterous yet sharp work of writing satirizing the dog-eat-dog world of toy markets and technology addiction, helped work by an alright line of talented casts, particularly Allison Williams as Gemma, whose hyperrational and shortsighted cheerfulness towards the seeming success of her robotic creation gets satisfyingly challenged once she figured out that she may have done too well in making M3GAN the perfect child companion, thus must face the horrifying consequences that come with it. Playing her niece Cady is young Violet McGraw, with a performance that actually works well enough for a character going through grief and a longing need for loving warmth, even if the emotions she's going for feels rushed within transitions thanks to the movie's speedy pace. On the funnier side of the coin, Ronny Chieng played CEO Lin delightfully with a very short fuse, making him a very good source of some of this film's derided hilarity.

And, of course, who could forget our titular killer bot, M3GAN? Played by New Zealand child actress Amie Donald and voiced by Jenna Davis, the automaton doll is undoubtedly the film's biggest sell, a new slasher horror icon that boasts a whole lot of presence just from attitude alone. Beautiful yet creepy, and not to mention uncannily expressive, the thing is basically the pinnacle of what makes dolls unnerving, being somehow both real and fake at the same time, only M3GAN comes with a welcoming sense of her own absurdity and silliness via TikTok dance sessions and her chirping SIA's Titanium as a lullaby. Soon enough, doll would embrace her inner late-80s slasher villain and begin throwing out quips and deadly charms as she delightfully tears off a young bully's ear or chase someone around with the stabby part of a broken paper guillotine. Her killing spree do lack a sizable bodycount and gruesome gore, but it still works thanks to it finding the time to be absurdly entertaining through the build-up of each attack. (That, and there is an unrated version of the flick which added some more bloody chunks for the kills)

As you may have gathered, M3GAN (2023) is a popcorn film through and through. It's not effectively scary nor is it shocking, but it's aims to be fun and, frankly, it managed to be fun! I, for one, welcome our new robotic killer doll overlord and those who are nuts for cheesy B-flicks should consider, too!

Bodycount:

1 male and 1 female killed in vehicular accident

1 boy ran over by a car

1 female gets repeatedly doused with a chemical sprayer, dies from severe burns

1 male ran through with a paper guillotine blade

1 male gets a paper guillotine to the neck

Total: 6

You are (Not) Enough: Sissy (2022)

Sissy (Australia, 2022)

Rating: ****

Starring: Aisha Dee, Hannah Barlow and Emily De Margheriti

Ah, influencers. People who built enough reputation for their knowledge and expertise on certain topics, guiding and engaging enthusiastic masses who look up to them for creative inspiration, authenticity and, once in a while, envy and consumerism. In today's social and traditional media, almost anyone can become an influencer so long as they put enough work to it and this may or may not include putting on a happy face to cover up something... broken.

Running an online wellness channel called Sincerely Cecilia, Cecilia spends her days in front of a camera promoting positivity and self-worth (while throwing in the occasional product placement) to her hundreds of thousands of adoring followers, all of who are unaware that once the camera goes off, their beloved influencer is simply depressed and miserable in life, living alone in a messy apartment watching TV and eating pizza. One day, however, Cecilia found herself bumping into Emma, a childhood friend she lost contact with all these years, and this chance meeting reignited a feeling of warmness and belonging she haven't felt for so long as tries to reconnect with her good friend emotionally. It all goes on a good start with Emma inviting Cecilia to her and her soon-to-be-wife Fran's bachelorette party and the two buddies actually having a swell time, but once Emma invites Cecilia to a weekend getaway far off near the woods with her friends and girlfriend, things just got way awkward and intense.

The house they'll be staying at happens to be owned by Alex, who bullied Cecilia as a kid and holds a spiteful grudge against the awkward girl for something she did to her years ago. Pissed at the fact Emma tagged along Cecilia without her knowledge, Alex goes out of the way to belittle her unwanted guest, mocking her profession and insultingly calling her by her childhood nickname, 'Sissy'. Cecilia, in turn, gets dangerously stressed from the attacks, starting to feel more and more unwanted and out of place from such a close friend group, but strives to do her best putting up a brave face and making amends with old enemies. But it ain't all as easy as it sounds and it isn't long before push comes to shove and bodies start dropping dead like flies.  

Taking cues from Lucky McKee's horror drama May (2002) and the depressing, Ryan Reynold-led dark comedy Voices (2014), Sissy (2022) settles itself as a darkly satirical character drama taking a stab at influencer culture, looking into modern day addictions of weighing one's worth through feedbacks of countless strangers behind digital icons at the cost of one's ability to actually grow as a person and move past familiar comfort and misplaced longing. Cecilia, brilliantly acted here by Ashia Dee, lives by a mantra in which she is loved, special and enough and preaches to her followers that they are, too, loved, special and enough. This, sadly, is hypocritical on her part as the further we go down the rabbit hole, the more we see that she never sincerely feels this way about herself and she constantly struggles to keep up with this well-off guru image in real life. It's a sad sympathetic sight, one that effectively humanizes the character despite her flaws, and the movie does a wonderful job incorporating her rose-colored wistfulness throughout the more depressing and horrific moments to come, including an upbeat yet melancholic score and brightly stylized visuals that are meant to reflect Cecilia's mindset. The film, though, isn't shy on knocking its own drama down a notch to keep itself from being too serious and dark, setting a good level of quirk within the madness with little odd scenes like Cecilia setting up some arts-and-crafts on a fresh grave to make it social media-friendly, as well as posting a quick video of positive reinforcement after braining someone with an amethyst crystal.

On that note, the tone gets devilishly humorous in its whimsy once the bodycount starts rising, even getting a honest laugh out of me when Sissy (2022) throws in a "useless cop" trope in which a rotund fella in uniform mistaken a call for a drunk dial only for them to realize it's a genuine cry for help seconds before the caller's phone dies. This mid-point turn for the more conventional and grisly slasher romp does end up casting aside the film's complex character-driven direction and themes involving bullying and trauma, but I find it hard to be displeased when the resulting carnage is mostly satisfactory and interesting; instead of being straight-up murders, a good deal of the slayings here often resemble accidental deaths that Cecilia inadvertently caused or simply let happen. (I say a good deal because, well, we did have that one incident with the car...) It doesn't appear she wanted to outright murder everyone on sight, but the lengths she goes to keep her image as a misunderstood yet well-meaning person during the slaughter do lean on the horrific and evil, so the story still manages to be an intriguing watch as mess upon mess leads to more carnage, straight up until its caustic yet satisfyingly gory finale.

A small gem of a slasher, Sissy (2022) is both a compelling run as a character piece and a bonafide gruesome treat that serves its dose of blood and gore. It may be a tad spotty with its tone and, perhaps, sacrificed a few good notes for shock value but, at the end of it all, it's a fine viewing should you see yourself looking for a bodycounter with a little more substance and meat to it.

Bodycount:

1 male pushed off a cliff, mangled 

1 female had her hair caught on a full bathtub's drain stopper, scalped and drowned

1 female ran over with a car, head crushed

1 female had her head repeatedly beaten and crushed with a walking stick

1 female shot through the head

Total: 5

A Cold Child's Beginning: Orphan: First Kill (2022)

Orphan: First Kill (2022)

Rating: ***

Starring: Isabelle Fuhrman, Julia Stiles and Rossif Sutherland

While not entirely a mainstream classic, 2009's Orphan set itself to be a fun and memorable take on the killer kid subgenre that mostly played by the rules and acted out established tropes, all the while also toying with them until its rather unforeseen twist that earned this movie's cult fave status among fans. Now, we see ourselves going back for another round of terror tyke horrors and thrills as Orphan: First Kill (2022) explores what went on two years prior to the events of the first film, which turns out to be quite a deranged ride when it turns out our titular murderous orphan isn't the only monster out there.

Set in 2007, we follow Leena Klammer (Isabelle Fuhrman), a disturbed but manipulative adult woman afflicted with a rare hormonal disorder that have her appearing as a nine year old child, orchestrate her escape from an Estonian psychiatric institute by murdering anybody that got in her way. She soon arrives in American soil by posing as a girl named Esther Albright, who have been missing since 2003, charmingly ingratiating herself into the child's wealthy Connecticut family after they were notified of her reappearance. 

Philanthropist wife Tricia, however, immediately doubts the possibility of this girl being her long lost daughter due to Esther's noticeably new European accent and the fact that the child can't remember important details from her life before she went missing. Inspector Donnan, the detective who investigated Esther's disappearance, also suspects something off with this whole picture and starts looking into the case again. As these little inconveniences pile up into a jeopardizing situation for her cover, Leena has no choice but to bump off a body or two, but what she didn't expect is a little assistance from an unexpected player and an interesting position that may or may not go in her favor...

Comparing this to the original's semi-serious tone, Orphan: First Kill leans towards a cheesier fanfare instead of re-hashing the first film's sober song and dance, serving up a level of outrageous camp and an outlandishly ludicrous twist to boot through a direction that wisely tampered with our expectations. It's an approach that works well enough to keep everyone on their toes and, for some parts, it even allows the narrative to explore dimensions within its titular villain that weren't touched touched upon or were just hinted back at Orphan (2009). The choice to have Fuhrman reprise her role as Esther, for one, does induce genuine chuckles as the cheesiness of the character's trait being an adult posing as a child is more obvious now considering the actress is currently in her 20s, but seeing there's hardly a secret regarding the character's true age, not only do we get to see her more openly evil light as a manic mini psychopath (just watch her take a big swig at some wine and play a piano while her hands are bloodied from a fresh kill!) but this also led to the film allowing her to dish out bloodier murders that embraced the franchise's bodycount-friendly premise.

The only drawback, sadly, is that the overall production took a dip down in quality. The entire thing looks and feels like a TV movie, with a strange white tinting that kinda comes distracting for me and a lot of uninspired camera work. The acting from the remaining casts feels rather subpar, though Julia Stiles as Tricia Albright did manage to strike an entertaining stride midpoint into the film once it's made clear that Esther isn't the only dangerous person in the household. And speaking of, there were a lot of opportunities for the film to go a little more crazy with the neat twist it pulled, chances wherein we could have seen Esther really tough it out seeing she's going toe-to-toe against some nasty people, but with it being done halfway into the movie, it all just felt compressed and maybe even a little rushed. Nothing that bad, though. To be frank, it's all still serviceable, but I can't help but think that if the twist came in a little sooner, we could have gotten more drama and intrigue from two sociopaths butting heads!

Looking past its lack of workable scares and polish, Orphan: First Kill at least offers a worthwhile fun with its silly yet committed premise. It may not hit its mark right all the time, but if you're in a mood for some popcorn-lite B-grade horror thriller made to be entertainingly corny, then this one's an okay candidate.

Bodycount:

1 male had his head repeatedly bashed against a wall

1 male beaten to death with a billy club

1 female beaten to death with a tire iron

1 male repeatedly knifed, shot to death

1 male shot with a crossbow, stabbed to death with a lapier

1 female falls to her death

1 male pushed, falls to his death

Total: 7

Of Glamor and Gore: Crystal Eyes (2017)

Crystal Eyes (Mirada De Cristal) (Argentina, 2017)

Rating: ***

Starring: Silvia Montanari, Anahí Politi and Erika Boveri

Buenos Aires, 1984. At a back alley runway show, supermodel Alexis Carpenter shows how much of a rotten diva she is by verbally abusing other models, scalding her make-up artist's face with hot coffee after a confrontation about her primadonna attitude, and then finally assaulting the audience with spat champagne as she jugs an entire bottle while strutting a wedding dress. This display of limelight meltdown would soon become Alexis' own undoing as the wasted wine spills unto a nearby fuse box, causing it to spark and igniting the egotist model to a blazing death in front of a shocked audience.

One year later, Lucia L’uccello, editor-in-chief of the country's top-selling fashion magazine, is about to run an issue dedicated to Alexis and her legacy on the anniversary of her death, thus she organizes a photoshoot starring her top models Eva Lantier and Irene del Lago in Alexis' original dresses. But on the night before the shoot, the dresses got stolen and from then on, those involved in the magazine are getting slaughtered one by one at the hands of a sinister mannequin-like femme fatale. Has Alexis come back from the grave somehow, seeking revenge? Or is somebody else equally depraved responsible for the increasing bodycount?

Written and directed by Ezequiel Endelman and Leandro Montejano, Crystal Eyes (2017) is a simple yet dedicated love letter to stylized 70s Italian gialli and crazy 80s slashers under the backdrop of haute couture's glamour and grit. Its relatively basic plot is virtually a barebone stroll through the usual hack-and-slash murder thriller, paced quickly enough to get the action flowing between its few slow moments and filmed vividly with as many Mario Bava and Dario Argento-inspired cinematography, particularly taking cues from Blood and Black Lace (1964) and Suspiria (1977) as lurid tints of blues and pinks, expressive editing and solid camerawork dominate the film for that fun, macabre arthouse look.

The direction does stride on a campy note, paired with a script that has its tongue firmly in its cheek and onscreen talents ranging from okay to overacting. Its a factor that basically held the film's supposed murder mystery back from being anywhere effective or deep, but the romp of entertainment this kitsch approach brings is fortunately not lacking, especially with its crazy, neon-colored murder set-pieces involving a killer that not only dresses and masks up like a showroom dummy, but also moves and poses (yes, poses) like one while killing! The predominantly female casts are also a real treat to watch, all brilliant in managing a wide variety of performances from sympathetic menaced models to fame-obsessed despite the hammy writing done for these characters and the overall tone of the flick.

Top it all with catchy 80s disco beat and retro-recognized hairdos and clothes, Crystal Eyes (2017) is, at the gist of it, a playful and substantial homage to both giallo and slasher cinema that highlights the good, the bad and the outrageous from both subgenres through an enjoyably undemanding plot. If you like shlocky yet stylish, giallo-lensed bodycounters like Stagefright (1987) and Murderock (1984), then you ought to give this Argentinian horror vogue fondue a try! 

Bodycount:

1 female caught on fire

1 male had his throat cut with a razor

1 female repeatedly stabbed with a hand drill

1 female killed offscreen, later seen beheaded

1 female stabbed to death with a glass shard

1 female drowned in a bath tub

1 female murdered offcamera

1 male bled to death from a wounded throat

1 female impaled on a crystal bird ornament

1 female found strangled with an IV chord

Total: 10

Night of The Meteor Mutants: Nobody Sleeps In The Woods Tonight 2 (2021)

Nobody Sleeps In The Woods Tonight 2 (W lesie dzis nie zasnie nikt II) (Poland, 2021)

Rating: **1/2

Starring: Izabela Dabrowska, Lech Dyblik and Andrzej Grabowski

For those who are not acquainted, Nobody Sleeps In The Woods Tonight (2020) is a rather basic backwoods slasher following teens from a "technology detox" camp being hunted down by a pair of very deformed and obese murder twins with a taste for flesh. The only things that set this apart from your other forest-set bodycounters would be its weird attempt to flesh out its characters more and the fact that the reason behind the killers' madness was (*spoiler alert!*) a black goo-filled meteor. 

This sequel follows up some time after the first film, with final girl Zosia being captured at some local police station, along with the "Fatties" responsible for massacring her friends and then some. She's there for further questioning as the head honcho of the station, Sergeant Waldek, couldn't wrap his head around her story of meteors turning people evil and how Zosia supposedly murdered one of the Fatties by stabbing him to death with a machete, so to get a better idea what happened, she's eventually taken back to the Fatties' humble abode and asked to point out where it all happened exactly.

Unfortunately for them all, once they get there, the meteor responsible for turning the Fatties evil strikes again, this time oozing its goo into Zosia and turning her into a deformed "meteor mutant". As history repeats itself and another bloodbath starts taking the lives of locals, a very meek Constable Adas gets caught in the middle of this madness and will soon find a fate weirder than death...

For a good hour or so, Nobody Sleeps In The Woods Tonight 2 (2021) continues its affairs as a standardized backwoods kill-a-thon as it dish out murder after murder while trying to establish a set of characters to follow along in the story. Just as the first film, though, the characterization here can be a bit weird and random, if not downright annoying, such as our supposed lead here, Adas, being a whiny coward most of the time to the point he's just pathetic, or the fact two of of the folks who decided to help out the remaining police force happen to be a pair of Neo-Nazi hunters. It doesn't help that we will be, more or less, just be watching this group be dysfunctional for a while, but that's a little more tolerable looking into what this film have in store for us in the last act.

After practically murdering off almost everyone introduced so far, Nobody Sleeps In The Woods Tonight 2 (2021) throws a curveball at us and we're suddenly looking into the monster's perspective as we learn why they're killing people, which sums up to them simply being evil. Just plain evil. One of the human characters is also turned into a meteor mutant and the final third of the movie is just now these two mutants frolicking around, teaching the other why it's great to be an evil murder creature and having monster sex. Yes. Monster sex. It's an odd turn of events, one that I wouldn't mind if it wasn't done around the remaining act which makes the whole thing feel rushed. The finale of it all also fails to be anything exciting as it kinda sizzle down and it all felt like it happened just for the sake of it happening and nothing else. (Like, what was even the point of it?)

Nobody Sleeps In The Woods Tonight 2 (2021) shines the best when it's just the meteor mutant going ape on the dismemberments as the gore effects here are among the juiciest and the attacks are intense for their brutality. Whenever it tries to make something out of the cast, though, I think it would have been more welcoming if the film just stuck with the killer-in-the-woods jig and try not to over complicate things. Still, I'm not going to completely diss its shots at character development since a few scenes did come out rather hilarious, so I say that while it doesn't it completely deliver, it still has something for the fans of the gruesome and weird to clamor over!

Bodycount:

1 male had his legs torn off, bled to death

1 male pushed head first to a fusebox, disemboweled

1 male found slaughtered

1 male dies from exhaustion after his hands got cut off from a bear trap

1 male had his heart and larynx clawed out

1 female torn to pieces

1 male found beheaded

1 male gets knifed in the eye

1 female had her face flayed off and her head repeatedly stomped

1 female ran over by an armored truck

2 males decimated with a grenade

Total: 12