HAPPY 2019 HALLOWEEN! (AKA, What am I watching this year. Again.)

Welp, it's October 31st here in the Philippines! That means absolutely nothing unless you're age 10 and below which, in that case, would mean afternoon Trick'r treating and a week off school.

For me though, IT'S HALLOWEEN!

Yes, Polly. Dance. Dance.

And as someone who's practically an adult living in a country that doesn't recognize Halloween as a holiday, I mostly celebrate this by making blood pacts with Lovecraftian gods watching spooky movies from years old and new! So today, I decided to share with you my picks for my annual Halloween viewing! From a back-to-back Holiday slashers to a cavalcade of carnage clowns, let's begin my picks with:

Hell Fest (2018) and Haunt (2019) - Preferably seen back to back, these two back-to-basics slashers follow anxious final girls and their friends venturing off to Halloween events only to meet foul ends at the hands of some very whacked-out psychos. Both films have their share of gore and scares, but what sets them aside from one another is their atmosphere; while Haunt seems to be going for a more grungy and claustrophobic tone with its titular haunt and ghoulish proprietors looking so clunky and cheap (with a good reason), Hell Fest has this Hitchcockian feel to it as it relies on stalking scares whenever it ain't goring it up the vast, open spaced Hell Fest that is the unknowing stalking ground of a random maniac. Whichever you want to start with depends on your mood!

The Witch (2016) - Looking past the Ye Olde English scripting, this supernatural "New England Folktale" is strong on the brooding department and nightmare imagery as a 1630s farming family gets terrorized by a plague of disappearances, hexes and death, seemingly perpetrated by a witch in the woods. Very atmospheric, gloomed to the grinded baby bones and downright fuckin' creepy.

Terrifier (2017) - A notoriously brutal slasher flick that'll give them coulrophobics and casuals alike a bad taste in their mouths, while rewarding us gorehounds a simple yet satisfying bodycounter as we follow Art, a demonic mime with a penchant for hunting two teenage girls at Halloween night and slaying whoever happens to be in the way just for the laughs. Make sure you're not squeamish!

Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988) - From one killer clown to another, though this one's cheesy affair would come as a welcome mental palette cleanser for those who're probably got fucked up by Art's ole' antics above. (Or not, depends on your ground, I guess) As a sort-of parody of The Blob, a spaceship full of clown-themed aliens arrives on Earth and wrecks havoc on a nearby small town, killing people left and right with cotton candy guns, popcorn monsters and man-eating shadow puppets. Who can stop these creatures? Why a couple of teens, of course!

Zombillenium (2017) - An animated flick based on a French comic book series, following a human health and safety inspector unwillingly becoming a part of a horror-themed amusement park he was assigned to, where real monsters reside in plain sight, after dying and returning as a demon. He now must find a way to escape the park to reunite with his daughter, but with his new monstrous form, how can he? A bit cheesy on the plot, but it has a lovely art and adorable characters (some of which has bouncy monster boobs. hurm), plus the animation is just beautiful at times!

Dave Made a Maze (2017) - A bit of a wild card, this surreal fantasy flick may not be overall horrific, but it does feature enough Minotaur monster action, nightmare situations and paper "blood". Thanks to "reasons", a normal dude with self-esteem problems named Dave somehow made a working maze (well, more like a labyrinth) out of nothing but cardboard, tape and probably other things lying around in his apartment. On the outside, the maze look more like a cardboard castle, but once Dave's girlfriend, friends and other random folk decided to step in to find him as he claims to be stuck, they're in for a huge surprise! Weird as hell, but it has that underlying warmth to its story. And then some.

The Devil's Candy (2015) - What's a Halloween without a little heavy metal and murder? This cult classic has a struggling painter and heavy metal enthusiast Jesse moving to a rural farmhouse with his family, not knowing about the apparent demonic forces residing in it and a dark history that's about to repeat itself. Demon worship, rock and roll, and gory kills, what more can you ask for?

Halloween III: Season of The  Witch (1982) - The runt of the Halloween franchise litter that most of us owe an apology to, this genuine cult favorite stood its ground as one of the more unique Halloween horror films out there for its outrageous concept of evil druids working as business men, plotting a mass genocide of children through cursed Halloween masks, a bit of science and an annoying TV commercial and jingle. And with Tom Atkins in the leading role, why the hell not?

Halloween (1978) and Halloween (2018) - And, of course, why not the classic? But wait! Why watch the classic alone when you can do it back to back with last year's welcome contender, Halloween (2018) ?! Watching the night he came home all the way to the night he came home again back-to-back is one of the finest Halloween treat one can indulge in thanks to just how good and fitting the sequel is, exploring post-trauma stress and its effect with everyone involves while still keeping the bodycount scoreboard high in the digits. Start off slow and steady with the original, before ending it swift, cunning and bloody with the modern sequel, can't go wrong there!

~~~
And there you have my list of watchables this year! Something creepy and kooky, mysterious and spooky. And now, if you would excuse me, I gotta go be ooky. Stay safe now and have a...

H A P P Y  H A L L O W E E N!!!

Also, who else is excited about Halloween Kills in 2020?

HAPPY 2018 HALLOWEEN! (AKA What Am I Watching this year?)

Welp, it's October 31st here in the Philippines! That means-

Absolutely nothing unless you're age 10 and below. In case you are, then it means candy and a week off school. But for me-

IT'S HALLOWEEN!

And as someone who's practically an adult living in a country that doesn't recognize Halloween as a holiday, I mostly celebrate this by runecasting at a nearby church watching spooky movies from years old and new! So today, I decided to share with you my picks for my annual Halloween viewing! From a children's flick about evil witches to a hospital raided by eldritch entities, let's begin my picks with:

Gon-ji-am (2018) (AKA "Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum") - A very recent horror movie from South Korea following a group of Youtubers livestreaming a documentary style urban exploration of the titular asylum. Shot in a Found Footage format, the film isn't shy on tackling classic tropes and trappings of both Asian ghost flicks and mockumentary films, but what makes this film stand out is that the premise itself help elevate the sense of dread and nightmarish imagery that eventually starts haunting our crew, which includes effective jumpscares and loads of creepy imagery.

The Witches (1990) - Based on a children's book by Roald Dahl, this 90s fantasy horror "family" picture tells the story of a young boy named Luke who, after being orphaned, finds himself under the loving arms of his grandmother who appears to know a lot about what true witches are like. This odd knowledge soon comes in handy when the hotel they are staying at for a vacation turns out to be the meeting place of all the witches in England. It's now up to our two unlikely heroes to stop these hags from executing their plans on murdering hundreds of children with candy, so long as they don't become victims of these witches' wicked spells and potions themselves.

A little dated on some department, but nevertheless enjoyable on a darkly humorous way, The Witches is a fun little devious addition to this year's fright and gore heavy viewing. But I like to balance out the horror and fun in my movie lists and this one titles is fun enough for the dark holiday!

The Blob (1988) - I could have gone with the classic 1958 version with its funky opening music and cheese, but the matter of the fact is that the monster there is hardly threatening. Memorable, yeah, but its fear factor dwindled down when you realize how slow that blob is and you can simply just walk five feet away from it and blast it frozen with a fire extinguisher with some ease. The 1988 version, however, is a predatory monster with a limitless hunger that not only can squeeze into places to reach you, but squeeze, crush, bend and/or obliterate you so you're that much easier for it to eat, all in glorious glorious old fashioned practical effects!

The movie is your classic midnight monster genre with a comet containing the titular creature crash landing on a nearby town, releasing it with nothing in its nature but to eat, absorb and grow. In typical 80s monster movie fashion, it's up to a pair of teens who encountered and survived an attack from the blob to warn the townfolk of the danger, given they're not too late.

The Void (2016) - A modern day cult classic follows a strange night in a hospital where a cop, the hospital's staffs and patients are held inside the building by a cloaked cult-like figures. Little do these trapped individuals know is that there's something sinister happening within the hospital as patients start to go deformed and murderous, leading to horrific monster attacks and what could be an Apocalyptic end to all.

Kinda underrated but well worth the look, especially if you're into raw horror aesthetics like amazing practical and make-up effects, gory kills and Lovecraftian themes. It's basically a horrorhound's wet dream, given that you don't mind the attempted cerebral horror that appears to coat the story.

Trick 'R Treat (2007) - This is basically the horror movie to rival John Carpenter's Halloween as a holiday classic. Trick 'R Treat follows five gruesome tales within a small Ohio town during their annual Halloween celebration night as child murderer tries his hardest to cover his track, a girl in a Red Riding Hood costume gets stalked by a masked man, a group of kids visits a supposedly haunted quarry, a bitter young wife gets a painful lesson for breaking a Halloween rule and an old man is visited by who could be the spirit of Halloween itself.

Chock full of monsters, ghouls, scares and lots of nasty treats, done in a lush production value and colorful band of characters, Trick 'R Treat is one horror movie that understood the dark nature of Halloween and twisted it enough to give us this energetic, eerie and often darkly funny anthology movie.

WNUF Halloween Special (2013) - A definitive midnight movie, this is a cult classic that takes the mockumentary sub-genre into the limelight as it features what look like a news program special focusing on Halloween and a planned event by the station wherein one of their reporter follows a priest and a pair of occult experts inside a supposedly haunted building. What follows is a lot of tracking, vintage commercials, and a slow yet satisfying build to a messed up ending that's definitely shocking.

If you hadn't seen this one, then I really recommend hunting this film down especially if you love a good old-fashioned scare and a bit nostalgic just like me. I cannot stress enough how one should see this from beginning to end coz the pay off really sticks as one of the chilling final scenes in a horror flick that starts out like a joke.

~~~

And there you have my list of watchables this year! Really wish I could do more for Halloween this year but it falls on a workday and with the recent storm brewing, I guess being cozy at home while it rains outside doesn't sound too bad!

 What else can I say but have a Happy Halloween and watch out for monsters!

Random Posts: Upcoming Slashers and what I think about them. Part 2.

So far, the horror offerings from 2017 seems pretty alright if you know where to look; I found new cult favorites under a Lovecraftian nightmare called The Void, the sci-fright anthology Galaxy of Horrors and a satirical black comedy-slash-thriller called Get Out, but I also have to deal with half-and-half entries like The Evil Within and Don't Hang Up, as well as shitty dumps like The Bye Bye Man and Rings.

But when it comes to slashers, I have to admit we're lacking on that department, so I like to keep my eye out on potential bodycount titles and here are some likely candidates. So just to break out of the norm (kinda), here's be my thoughts on these upcoming attractions. Again.

Note: I'm sure there are a lot of other upcoming slashers and bodycount thrillers out there that I'm gonna miss for this list but I like to keep this post narrowed down to the titles that interest me the most. I might do another one of these if I ever gathered enough bodycount titles that catches my attention.

Jackals (2017)

Plot: Set in the 1980s, an estranged family hires a cult deprogrammer to take back their teenage son from a murderous cult, but find themselves under siege when the cultists surround their cabin, demanding the boy back.

My Thoughts: I love a good siege/home invasion hybrid and this sounds wonderfully promising. I'm also a sucker for animal-masked killers so that's always something to look forward to on my book!

Leatherface (2017)

Plot: Prequel about teenage Leatherface who escapes from a mental hospital with three other inmates, kidnaps a young nurse and takes her on a road trip from hell. Along the way, they are pursued by an equally deranged lawman out for revenge.

My Thoughts: Didn't we already have a film in the TCM franchise called "Leatherface"? I believe it was Part III. Eitherways, I'm not really that excited about this considering the last attempt made for a modern Texas Chainsaw Massacre film was a mixed bag for me and I really don't think exploring "Bubba's" past is all that necessary. Maybe I'll look into this one just for the kick of it and/or to see if it does hold up.

The House That Jack Built (2017)

Plot: The story follows Jack, a highly intelligent serial killer over the course of 12 years and depicts the murders that truly develop Jack as a serial killer.

My Thoughts: Much like Leatherface, I believe we already have a film called The House That Jack Built back at 2010 and my memory of it was more on the "Meh" line. Technically this is another movie going by that title and, for all truthfulness' sake, I'm not excited. I got a "The Boy" feeling out of this one and I'm not talking about the one with the creepy doll, but rather that painfully slow and lifeless burner that everybody else seem to like...

Clownface (2017)

Plot: A deranged serial killer known as “Clownface” terrorises the residents of a small town.

My Thoughts: As much as I love clowns, this one doesn't look all that interesting, either. The minimalist plot doesn't help it peak my interest as well and I have this uneasy feeling it's going to be somewhere around the line of "Pitchfork"-level of disappointment. Here's hoping I am wrong.

Garden Party Massacre (2017)

Plot: A gathering of friends goes awry when an uninvited guest appears. With a pickax. And an attitude.

My Thoughts: So far, the trailer shows a relatively cheap movie but with, as the plot have it, an attitude. Not gonna lie, I might look into this one and here's hoping it will be hilarious.

Cut Shoot Kill (2017)

Plot: Serena Brooks, an ambitious young actress, signs on as the star of a horror film with a crew of backwoods filmmakers that have worked together for years. When the cast starts disappearing, Serena has to become her character if she wants to survive.

My Thoughts: The trailer shows it is decently budgeted and it's going to be one of those Meta-horror flicks. Not gonna lie, I can see one or two ways this movie's plot will go, but I guess I'll be adding this one in my watch list just to see if this flick will surprise me.

Cult of Chcky (2017)

Plot: Chucky returns to terrorize his human victim, Nica. Meanwhile, the killer doll has some scores to settle with his old enemies, with the help of his former wife.

My Thoughts: A part of me wants to be excited about this, but another part of me felt a bit worn out. I cannot explain it, but the very fact that the Child's Play franchise is heading to DTV shenanigans kinda reminds me of the hit-and-miss qualities of the SAW sequels after Part III, or the Hellraiser movies after Bloodlines. Though, this entry seems to hint a showdown between Tiffany and Andy, two important characters in the Child's Play lore. Perhaps it can be good?

Nail Gun Massacre (2018)

Plot: No plot, but it is a remake of one of my 80s guilty pleasure slasher and it is to be directed Robert Green Hall of Laid to Rest (2009) and it's sequel.

My Thoughts: No trailers too but, cuss, it's cussing Nail Gun Massacre! To be done by the same guy who directed my fave bloody chase movie Laid To Rest! That's face-sliced, heads-blown off, gooey bloody Laid To Rest. Why the hell not?

Party Night (2017)

Plot: Six friends become prey for a sadistic psychopath when they decide to ditch their high school’s after prom party for their own celebration at a secluded house…

My Thoughts: the shaky handheld cam quality of the trailer more or less foretells yet another generic uninvited murderer in party scenario. Not really excited with this one.

The Tombs: Rise of The Damned (UK, 2017)

Plot: A group of celebrities attend a press gala at the world famous London Tombs tourist attraction. What starts as a night of fun and fright turns into a night of tension and terror when evil spirits of the Damned seize control of the animatronics to wreak havoc on their subjects. Celebrity status cannot rescue them from the unspeakable horror that lurks in the darkness…

My Thoughts: No trailers, but I am liking the plot of killer animatronics so long as it doesn't go into Five Nights At Freddy's territory. I understand the success of that game but I do not understand the fandom...

Gutterballs 2: Balls Deep (2015?)

Plot: No plot but IMDB claims this thing's been out since 2015...whaaaaat?

My Thoughts: Dude, is this, like, in distribution limbo? I love the first Gutterballs and I don't mind seeing this sequel! I've been living under a rock so somebody please tell me!

~~~

And there be my thoughts on these upcoming bodycounters. Is there a particular slasher you are excited about or that I missed? Feel free to let me know about it and I'll see what I think of it! until then, see you guys later! I need to hunt down a loon with a bowling ball bag over his head...

Random Posts: Upcoming Slashers and what I think about them...

So far, the horror offerings from 2017 seems pretty alright if you know where to look; I found new cult favorites under a Lovecraftian nightmare called The Void, the sci-fright anthology Galaxy of Horrors and a satirical black comedy-slash-thriller called Get Out, but we also have to deal with half-and-half entries like The Evil Within and Don't Hang Up, as well as shitty dumps like The Bye Bye Man and Rings.

But when it comes to slashers, I have to admit we're lacking on that department, so I like to keep my eye out on potential bodycount titles and here are some likely candidates. So just to break out of the norm (kinda), here's be my thoughts on these upcoming attractions.

Note: I'm sure there are a lot of other upcoming slashers and bodycount thrillers out there that I'm gonna miss for this list but I like to keep this post narrowed down to the titles that interest me the most. I might do another one of these if I ever gathered enough bodycount titles that catches my attention.

Fox Trap (UK, 2016)

Plot: After a terrible accident leaves a young girl disabled, five years later, the group responsible are invited to a remote manor house in the countryside for a class reunion. Little do they know, they are being targeted by a masked maniac hell bent on revenge.

My Thoughts: The trailer shows a basically standard slasher with an equally standard "I know what you did so now you die some years later" shindig of a plot. I might enjoy it in a simplistic manner, though I'm not quite sure what to feel about the killer's overly simplified mask...

Hallows Eve (UK, 2016)

Plot: The Hallows Estate is on alert as strange graffiti tags with messages declaring the streets will be taken over on Halloween night begin to appear on walls around the place, along with sightings of strange figures lurking in the shadows. One of the gangs responsible for the serious anti social behavior that give the estate a bad name, decide to take these threats head on and ignore the curfew on Halloween night. But who ever, or what ever, this new threat is, they seem to have the very night on their side as they make good on their promise of claiming the streets by frightening and violent means.

My Thoughts: No trailers, but the concept and the poster art looks kinda awesome! Here's hoping this is a decent slasher for my taste!

The Ice Cream Truck (2017)

Plot: Mary moves back to her suburban hometown, to find that the suburbs are scarier in more ways than she ever remembered.

My Thoughts: So...Ice Cream Man (1995) remake then? Welp, I do like that movie and this seems to be more of a straight-up slasher so I guess I'll try seeing it and hope for the best...if not for the "eehhhh" factor.

Inside (2016)

Plot: A woman in her third trimester of pregnancy is stalked by a stranger who is obsessed with her unborn child.

My Thoughts: The original Inside (2007) is among my top slashers. Nothing will beat the intense brutality that movie unleashed but I understand this version of Inside will focus less on the gore and more on the atmosphere so...nothing against that but here's hoping it will work out. After all, the guys behind Kidnapped (2010) will be doing this and we all know how fucked up that movie literally ended.

Better Watch Out (Australia, 2016)

Plot: On a quiet suburban street, a babysitter must defend a twelve-year-old boy from intruders, only to discover it's far from a normal home invasion.

My Thoughts: No trailers, but I do enjoy a good Home Invasion movie! There seem to be a little buzz going around about this movie and I guess it's for the best not knowing any explicit details about its story! What else can I say but "hurry the fuck up and release this movie already, dammit!"

Wtf! (2017)

Plot: Three years ago, twenty-two year old "girl-next door" Rachel barely survived a brutal massacre that left all of her friends murdered. Time has passed, and Rachel has moved on, but unfortunately her close friends are spending Spring Break in a secluded house in the woods, and they have cordially invited her to join. She would never have accepted the invitation if she realized that another bloodbath would be showing up as plus one. Once Rachel and her friends arrive at the cabin, the partying, sex, and...terror begins. From girls' only pillow fights to debauchery in a bedroom, it's going to be a blast...aside from the stabbing, flesh melting, and castration. Seven friends will go into a secluded house for the best Spring Break of their lives, but only one will be alive to post about it on Facebook the next week, as Rachel's biggest fears become a reality once again! Can Rachel survive another bloody massacre?

My Thoughts: Why does the entire plot reminds me of Ripper (2001) or even Last Girl Standing (2016)? And seeing the kind of promotional piece they have for this film, I have a sinking feeling that this is going to be a mess, both literally and figuratively. Still, we wouldn't know until we get to see it, right? Maybe the gore will be worth it, who knows...

The Ninth Passenger (2017)

Plot: A group of salacious students party aboard a luxury yacht only to turn on each other as a 9th PASSENGER picks them off one by one.

My Thoughts: I gotta admit, this doesn't look anything like a slasher movie and there's a good chance this film may end up a creature thriller based on its trailer alone, but the tease concerning what the "Ninth Passenger" is was enough to get my attention. Maybe I'll see it just to settle my curiosity.

The Sandman 

Plot: THE SANDMAN tells the story of Nathan, a young student in the city who struggles to forget his childhood trauma at the hands of the serial killer dubbed "The Sandman." Nathan killed The Sandman years ago, on Christmas Eve, after he witnessed the murder of his mother... until he sees the beautiful woman who lives in the apartment across the way dying at the hands of that same masked killer. This brutal murder plunges Nathan into an odyssey into the night country of his past, his dreams... and the buried secrets of The Sandman.

My Thoughts: Dario Argento. Doing a modern horror movie, (recalls my experience with Argento's Dracula and the number of hours I cried under a running shower for the time from my life that I wasted with that movie) ...oh, God.

Tonight She Comes (2016)

Plot: After a girl goes missing, two of her friends and a mysterious set of strangers find themselves drawn to the cabin in the woods where she disappeared. They will laugh, they will drink, they will kiss, they will make love, and THEY MUST ALL DIE.

My Thoughts: Huh. The last slasher movie I recall having a naked chick as the killer was that underrated cheese-tastic bodycounter Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet (2009). I simply adore that movie, so I guess I might see this one. The trailer sure made it look campy and stupid fun but, well, it's a trailer. It's supposed to make things look fun... right, The Beaver (2011)?

Tragedy Girls (2017)

Plot: Tragedy Girls, a twist on the slasher genre following two death-obsessed teenage girls who use their online show about real-life tragedies to send their small mid-western town into a frenzy and cement their legacy as modern horror legends.

My Thoughts: Hurm, I'm getting a vibe from this one. The "American Psycho 2: All American Girl" vibe. For those who doesn't know, I have a strong disdain against American Psycho 2 and Tragedy Girls has that tone of pompous self-aware from one trailer alone, but I am still gonna give it a swing. The idea is interesting enough and the two leads look pretty cute, so I'm hoping the kill count better be worth it.

Plot: A remake of the 1982 video nasty 'Unhinged'. Four American best friends decide to take the back roads travelling to a wedding in England, on their way a deadly secret forces the girls to be stranded in the woods, where they discover a house occupied by Miss Perkins, who promises to look after them until help comes. Little do the girls know, a dark evil lurks in the attic above them, waiting until they're alone and only when the girls come face to face with 'it' will they truly discover what real horror is.

My Thoughts: Though I'm not a fan of the original Unhinged (1982), I'm gonna be lying if I say I didn't have at least some bit of fun from that movie. Now, the trailer for this reboot looked promising enough despite the obvious mid-quality budget, so I guess I'll be checking this one out should I ever get a chance.

Plot: A maniacal clown named Art, terrorizes three young women on Halloween night and everyone else who stands in his way.

My Thoughts: It's friggin' Art, man. One of the creepiest clown I've ever laid eyes on! I'm a sucker for killer clown slashers. I adore the original Terrifier 2011 short. I find the 2013 All Hallows Eve anthology pretty passable. So why wouldn't I be excited for a movie focusing entirely on this freak? Bring in the clown, guys!
~~~

And there be my thoughts on these upcoming bodycounters. Is there a particular slasher you are excited about or that I missed? Feel free to let me know about it and I'll see what I think of it! until then, see you guys later! I have a meeting with a bloody naked chick and a demonic clown...

Yesterday I saw and loved...

 1. The working vacation resort/zoo

 2. Chris Pratt

 3. Trained Raptors

4. Chris Pratt and Trained Raptors in an epic bike scene

 5. Indominus Rex

6. THE EPIC DINOSAUR TAG TEAM BATTLE TO THE DEATH 

7. And lastly:

MOSASAUR!!!!!!

squeee!

It was a day to remember and a movie worth waiting. I saw it on 3D and got free posters for being the first to see it on my country's opening. (supposedly just one but the ticket lady didn't notice she handed me two...)

Yesterday I saw and loved JURASSIC WORLD. And I'm still LOVING IT!

StickyRed Presents: Pimp My Murder Weapons Volume 2

Last year, I made a post where in I shared my thoughts on this sub-genre's strangest "customized" murder weapons, pointy and deadly things wielded by our psychos to dispose dumb teenagers and random thespians, modified in the strangest manner.

Looking deeper into my collection, here be volume dos of these collected curiosities, fresh from the homicidal hands (or mouth) that held them!

Medical Monstrosities (Dr. Giggles (1992)) - In this early 90s cheese ride of all things cliched, the titular psychopath, who just happens to be the son of a deranged doctor, somehow had the time to design and invent his own slew of medical utensils, from tainted pills to syringes full of poison, to gas-powered stomach pumps with a rotating blade tip and giant band-aid plasters large enough to smother someone. It's cartoonishly crazy, but it fits the film's tone very well!

Pickaxe-catapult (Simon Says (2006)) - And just when you thought My Bloody Valentine's Harry Warden got the whole killer with a pickaxe shtick going, this film's Crispin Glover-played killer found 101 new ways to kill a person with one, mainly involving triggered traps and one pickaxe catapult! While the special effects used by the latter are dodgy, the whole idea of a catapult that swings out four pickaxes at the same time was and is pretty awesome!

Wearable Sword (Basement Jack (2009)) - Switching to this from a classic machete, the titular killer of this movie later wields a rather awesome looking blade; it's wearable and looks pretty badass, too bad the movie's gore effects are disappointing...

Van Trap (Creep Van (2012)) - Finding another use for creepy vans apart from being a bad guy's getaway vehicle, the random killer in this B-Grade slasher cooked up some rather over-the-top traps such as seat belts that crush and slice through victims and automated bladed sliding doors to make this van a literal hell ride.

A little clunky looking in terms of props and special effects, but it is more "realistic" in a way that the traps do look like something a demented maniac would had the capacity to make.

Hell Go-Kart (Leprechaun 2 (1994)) - And continuing with killer rides, this killer Leprechaun started his movie franchise by mauling his victims to death and  it wasn't until around the second film where we get to see more magic-induced kills, from hypnotizing someone into kissing a moving fan blade to, well, pulling out a killer go-kart out of hyperspace.

It's...something...but uh...killer go-kart? Really? So glad the third film is so much better...

Bladed Nailed Bat (Billy Club (2013)) - Attempting to do something different from your classic nailed bat, the folks behind the props of this movie did some slight modifications with the killer's murder weapon: a retractable machete blade that can be pushed out from the bat's head. Seeing what it could do, I am very impressed!

Cricket Kit (I Know How Many Runs You Scored Last Summer (2008)) - Taking revenge on his former cricket team mates, the mustachoid maniac from this slasher customized as many cricket apparels as possible, from spiked cricket bats, nailed-studded balls, and nailed groin cup. The result? Some fairly amusing murders. Too bad the characters aren't so interesting or likable to make the killings matter...

Lenghtened Chainsaw (Porkchop (2010)) - Not much to say about this except it's a weed whacker with a full working chainsaw replacing the saw end. How does it work? Not sure, but I'm picturing ole' Porky had to crank up the chainsaw first before holding on to the weed whacker body. Clunky design but works well for out-of-reach victims.

Poison-Tipped Cat Claws (Sette scialli di seta gialla/Crimes of The Black Cat (1972)) - And coming from this volume's only giallo entry, a slight variation to trained animals; if you can't count on your target being mauled to death by your chosen beast, why not hope for the alternative and taint the animal while you're at it? 

No, we're not talking about rabies, we're talking about poisoning their claws! Genius, you say? Well, not me; has the killer ever considered the fact that cats like to lick their own paws and rub it all over their faces in an adorable attempt to clean themselves? Yeah...

Chained Cleaver and Meat hook (Murderdrome (2013)) - The fire-breathing she-devil that is Mama Skate was a killer in her roller derby days. Literally. Armed with a chained meat-hook and cleaver, she's the star attraction of an underground blood sport known as Murderdrome and loved the spotlight so much that she started killer people off game. Even in her undead status, the cleaver-and-hook never looked so badass with a leather clad huntress! Me likey!

Droids (The Cheerleader Massacre 2 (2011)) - I don't consider killer bots as a weapon if they act on their own, but the tiny terrors of Cheerleader Massacre 2 are, however, handled by a killer in a bowler hat so I thought otherwise.

They're pretty cute, but cheaply depicted in the movie with low-budget CG which is why they don't sit pretty well with me. Still, I'm giving kudos for the producers of this flick for some attempts of originality.

Drill-Tar (The Slumber Party Massacre 2 (1987)) - Yeah, see, I'm one of the few who has no trouble enjoying this nightmarish entry to the slasher cycle and of its franchise. While the first Slumber Party Massacre features a plain killer with a plain powertool murder weapon, its sequel cashed in one Freddy Krueger's success and decided to concoct a rockabilly greaser from hell, armed with a drill-ended guitar! A Drill-tar!

Cheesy? Yes. Effective? Yes! Musical! Oh fucking yes!!! Blame it on my taste, but I will always love vintage rock-and-roll!

Steel Dentures (Luther The Geek (1990)) - Not sure how to feel about this; for one, I like the fact that the killer here's crazy enough to use his jaw strength to commit murders but it's not exactly subtle. You'll be leaving your DNA all over and that's never a smart thing to do as a slasher/serial killer.

Then again, the killer clucks like a chicken so I guess it doesn't matter. Goddamn Troma releases, luckily for them, I really enjoyed this one!

Cross-Mace (Sin Reaper (2012)) - From one 3D movie that no one would probably remember, the Sin Reaper sports a mean looking crucifix mace that, well, looks totally badass. Sadly, I remember nothing of the film except that the killer turned out to be somebody's brother or something. I should try watching it again but I'm just not feeling it. Cool weapon and killer get-up, though!

And there you have it. Again! Seen any new and/or odd customized weapon used in a slasher and/or giallo? Had I missed any of the ones from older titles? Feel free to tell me and I'll try to collect as many as possible for part 3 of Pimp My Murder Weapons!