Sunday, July 29, 2012

One Long Crazy Night: Psycho Sleepover (2008)

Psycho Sleepover
Rating: 1/2
Starring: Emilia Richeson, Ariel Teal Toombs and Frankie Frain

Oops, I did it again.

For the record, I've been experimenting on whether Troma releases are all bad and so far, I did find some awesome releases from them, like their classic Mothers Day (1980), The Last Horror Film (1982), Dead Dudes in the House (1991) and Blood Hook (1986). Then there are some weird ones like Beware! Children at Play! (1989), Klown Kamp Massacre (2010) and Fathers Day (2011), while the rest I've seen, like Graduation Day (1981) and Zombie Island Massacre (1984), are utter shit. No offense.

And now this little wanker comes along.

The idea of the film got me; a sleepover party gone wrong when an army of slashers starts to make mince meat out of the guests? Now I got a thing for movies that feature more than one colorful killer like $LA$HER$ (2001), The Hills Have Eyes 2006 remake and the Wrong Turn series, but seeing this is a Troma film, my realization that it might not be as cool as I figured it will be came to me all too late.

Opening in a night at 1985, sexually repressed Ginny finds herself harassed by her boyfriend who kept yearning for a blowjob and no sooner, a mad clown who's axing with bad puns comes in. She managed to persecute her attacker, which turns out to be her boyfriend, with an axe to the chest.

A year later, Ginny is now undergoing therapy since her late ex-boyfriend wasn't the only psycho in her life; her dad was a known serial killer and the pressure of having two loved ones as deranged murderers isn't helping her social life. By luck (I think), she's invited for a sleepover by three of her socialite classmates to help her get over her traumas. But what they didn't know is that their night of partying will be invaded by around 30 or more slasher villains in their own themes and get-up. Who will live and die is basically the question here, but same goes to who can be trusted?

Well, if you want my answer, this whole effin' movie. That's who not to trust. In a sense, it did deliver what it promised; thirty to forty psychos in weird disguises, themes and get-ups killing everybody, including themselves. But in usual Troma fashion, it's all camp. Too much camp.

Again, the singing tumor of my life named regret have made a deadly comeback as I watch this movie from beginning to end, enduring one awfully unfunny "funny" scene to another, save two: the entire slasher army tries to even out their share of the kill, seeing there's two victims left and there's 30 them, and the scene involving a mime slasher getting finger banged, literally. The humor was more on sex jokes and breaking continuities (a girl gets stabbed in the head and lived, and then another gets pounded with a sledgehammer and survives) something that will appeal to those with who are either very shallow or ultimately open-minded.

Sadly, even though I can enjoy awful movies like Thankskilling (2008), Dear God No! (2011) and even Last Caress (2010), Psycho Sleepover overdid its cheese and ruins itself with all these attempts to be "fun". If you barrage an entire film with annoying characters, with acting intentionally bad, no sense of plot direction whatsoever, then you might as well just dwell in your own puke cuz the feeling's all the same.

Now, I apologize to all Troma fans out there who love this movie; I know there are plenty of you seeing how strong the fan base of this studio is, and I'm pretty sure a good number of you reading this are sharpening their pitchforks to shove it right up my arse, but really? You guys can love a film this crazy? It's around an hour and 17 minutes but for me it felt like a whole day of beating with a wet fish. And I do NOT like being slapped around with a wet fish!

Over the top crazy, sleazy and cheesy, Psycho Sleepover isn't for me. At all. Surprisingly. Troma fans will rejoice for this movie and will probably have a good time disemboweling me at the same circumstances. Eitherways, I made my point, and Troma yet again made a bad one...

1 male hacked with axe
1 male hit with axe (dream)
1 female gutted with knife (dream)
1 male killed offscreen
1 male knifed
1 male beaten to death with long drillbit
1 female had her throat cut with knife
1 male gets an axe to the head, heart pulled out
1 male killed, found deboned
1 female had her face ripped off
1 male gets a dildo through the arse, exits to groin
1 male had his neck crushed
1 male shot himself in the head
1 female gets a machete through the chest
1 male had his neck crushed with stick
1 male (mime) shot on the chest with a (literal) "hand gun"
1 male had his neck broken
1 male decapitated with machete
1 male shot
1 male knifed to death
1 female brained with wrench
1 female shot
1 female knifed to death
1 male had his neck sliced with machete
1 male hacked with axe
1 male gets a knife to the groin
1 female shot on the head
1 male had his throat cut with knife
1 female pounded to death
1 sock puppet gets a knife through the "mouth"
1 male had his head stomped
1 male shot
1 male shot
1 female had her throat cut with knife
1 female had her head blown off with shotgun
Total: 35

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Would you ever shut up?!: School Killer (2001)

School Killer (El Vigilante) (Spain, 2001)
starring: Paul Naschy, Carlos Fuentes and Zoe Berriatúa

With a title as plain and lazy as School Killer, it could have been two things: it's a diamond in the rough or as plain as a sheet of drawing paper. Luckily, it wasn't as plain as paper.

It's something worse: ambitious.

You know that awful disappointing feeling when what should be a fun movie is butchered by over ambitiousness? Well, this is one of them. 

School Killer is about a group of six ghost hunting teens who went inside an abandoned campus trying to snoop around to see the supernatural. Then comes the obvious parts that the school is haunted such as weird people dancing in the buildings, lights that turns on by themselves, a weird and creepy looking security guard appearing now and then, and visions of people slaughtered.
It turns out that some 20 years ago, another group of six teens decided to crash the place and party (ho-hum, again?), but what they didn't know was that there's a deranged night guard lurking around the school, armed with a hunting knife and a fire axe. Now it seems this guy's at it again at the present, as today's set of doomed thespians will soon find out.

As a slasher, it's pretty good. Sadly, it only acted like one around the middle, so before and after that, School Killer plays out more as a ghost flick with kids trying to figure out the reason behind the hauntings, which is very convulsed and jarring. The problem of the movie is that it talks too much; it tries so hard explaining whether the homicidal watchman is alive or dead, and to what really happened at that night, that, in the end, it wouldn't even matter at all. To top all confusion, we even had a Sixth Sense style of twist ending that fails to make this film any better than what an ordinary slasher can offer and instead ruined it. 

There's kills, yes, good ones, but those are the ones around the flashback and by the time we got back to the present, these kills had gone tame and lame, as if pushed back to give favor in delivering some spook fest that shouldn't even be happening. With so much talking and boring walk scenes, the only thing that redeems this movie is that apparently the lead killer's played by veteran Spanish genre actor Paul Naschy, known for his werewolf roles during the years 70s and 80s, whose performance as a deranged night guard outshines the annoying teenagers.
I'm probably going all through this the wrong way but dammit, I really hated it when something that should have been so simple had to go through something so complicated just to be executed. Why blast a can open with a shotgun to get the yummy corned beef inside if you could just use the can opener next to you? School Killer did just that. It blown open a big hole that just wouldn't shut up and get killed...

1 female found slaughtered
1 female repeatedly bludgeoned against bathroom stalls, drowned in toilet
1 male knifed on the neck
1 female knifed on the gut
1 female chest sliced open with knife
1 male decapitated with hatchet
1 male gets a hatchet to the head
1 female falls to her death
1 male found impaled with a pole
2 males and 1 female presumably killed
total: 12

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

It's the Amish!: Deadly Blessing (1981)

Deadly Blessing (1981)
starring: Maren Jensen, Sharon Stone and Susan Buckner

From savage cannibal to a conserved Hittite
My view on Wes Craven's films were always a positive one save the time he spewed that bore My Soul to Take. Luckily, he fixed right it with a sturdy entry to his Scream Franchise last 2010, a movie that is completely unnecessary yet fun to watch. But there were times when my faith to the good man's works tend to falter a bit; his Last House on the Left (1973) didn't live up to my expectation as a gruesome and sadistic "rape and revenge" flick despite being watchable, and now this, perhaps the one and only Amish slasher.

To be fair, Craven only directed this and frankly, I know very little of the Amish community other than the fact that they all dress alike, sports groovy side-burns, and for some reason hates anything with cogs, clockwork and runs on electricity. And I just thought this sub-genre couldn't get any weirder, the slasherdom decided to tackle all this.

Jim, a former Hittite, and his big city wife, Martha, lives a peaceful farming life among a strictly Amish community who rejects them for both bringing technology unto their land and for being neighbors to an estranged mother and her daughter, who they believe is an incubus. Martha and Jim put down the latter as plain superstition but one night, ole Jim was seemingly crushed to death by his own tractor. His death was ruled out as an accident the next day and to make it worse, the Hittites wanted to purchase the land from Martha seeing that its true owner is gone. Suspicious? Definitely.

Thankfully, coming to visit and to keep Martha's spirit alive are her friends from LA (one being, GASP! Sharon Stone?!), but it seems that someone- or something- wasn't finished with their work yet. Something that might be responsible for Jim's apparent accident and is continuing to knife away anyone that gets in the way.

let's face it; whenever this guy pops up, our focus will always
be the beard!
Deadly Blessing is a structured slasher film to the bone with an added touch of the supernatural and social commentary. The Amish here are placed in a position of either friends or foe to the main casts, and the movie's examination to the community's lifestyle and beliefs brings as much consideration to think whether who's right or wrong. Martha, skeptical of the Amish's supernatural ramblings and strict rules, tries to bring rationality and openness to the town, while on the other hand the Amish tries their best to preserve their way of life, shutting themselves from any possible source of their evil. Craven seems to be practicing the same thematic tone of diversity as of his The Last House in the Left and The Hills Have Eyes, though clever enough, there were moments in the film that it became ambiguous to whether the supernatural is at hand or that a loonie is out there clenching a knife and is responsible for the attacks. As the story progresses, we can later tell that one side of the coin was no more than a big red herring from the beginning. 

Outside the theme, Deadly Blessing plays a straight face for most of the time; despite the supernatural angles, it still practiced some of the usual tropes such as killer's POV shots, giallo-esque black gloves, and yes, practical murders done away with a simple kitchen knife. It even done away not one, but two shock sensationalist reveals, each made to fit a specific taste for a win-win situation for fans alike. But if it's going to be any hint, I would at least reveal that the killer's pretty much tangible. 

Some nifty suspense scenes also gave this film a good viewing, which oddly includes Sharon Stone in most of them, such as a scene where she's trapped in the barn with all the windows are being systematically shut from outside by someone, as well as the now infamous spider scene, where a live (and de-fanged) spider was plopped down in Stone's gaping mouth. It's a sweet practice on nightmarish imagery, Craven himself even recycled a scene where Martha was attacked by a live snake, all shot via camera between her legs, to his magnus opus, A Nightmare on Elm Street, in the same manner as Nancy was menaced by Krueger during the now famous bath tub scene. 

With scenes like this, Deadly Blessing somehow made the country side, despite beautiful, look eerie and mysterious. A solid shocker, with a partially convulsed story and a ridiculous finale, but Craven showed that he got the skills to at least make a silly plot worthwhile. Even if the ending's totally off the wall.

1 male crushed to death by a tractor
1 male knifed on the back
1 snake killed with fire poker
1 male repeatedly knifed on the back
1 female immolated in car explosion
1 female shot
1 male knifed on the back
1 female killed
total: 8

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Vengeance from Beyond: Ruby (1977)

Ruby (1977) (AKA Bloody Ruby)
rating: *1/2
starring:  Piper Laurie, Stuart Whitman and Roger Davis

Spoofing The Exorcist while at the same time trying not to, Ruby was a B-Grade cheese fest that mish-mashed gangster violence, supernatural possessions, and the old fashion slasher movie killings. Now the creative geniuses behind it made up their mind sooner, we would have a decent slasher to enjoy from the late 70s before Carpenter's Halloween.

 Sixteen years ago, a mob gal named Ruby Claire met up with her beau in the secluded part of the backwoods swamp, only to have their romantic moment cut off by a raging mob posse and their machine guns. Down goes lover and out goes Ruby's labor.

In the now, which is 1951, Ruby is now the proprietor of a drive-in theatre, playing movies from sevens years later, using widescreen technology that shouldn't be out a year or two from now. Other than the drive-in, she's also left to take care of her now vegetable mob boss and her sixteen year old daughter Leslie, who is mute and often wanders around the house with a blank daze resembling a cat staring at black space.

Somewhere in this weird cavalcade comes the weirder turn of events. For some reason, old lover boy decided to make a comeback from the grave and start killing everyone responsible for his grisly demise via gunshot. Yes, I wouldn't bother to beat around the bush trying to disguise the fact that it's the dead lover doing all the cooky supernatural hoohas, which includes not only the killings but the Exorcist-style possession as well. The movie tries to do that, and look where it all ended to.

I can't really decide what Ruby should be; I know it's a proto-slasher, with all the systematic killings done in the very core of the sub-genre itself, from POV shots of the killer, to creative murders, but it never fully touched it. It's as if it really tries to be an Exorcist rip-off, trying to focus on the supernatural possession that's going on with the title character's daughter, but frankly, that game wasn't even played until the last few minutes of the movie, and adding to that, the scene didn't even stood out.

Perhaps the biggest flaw to what made Ruby such drag was, well word-wise, the movie tends to slow down in the most unconventional manner. There's some para-psychology thrown here involving teen angst fueling bullet wound stigmatas and low-budget crab-walks, which is all fair and whatnot, but do we really need to dwell into these if we can have a good fun run with the killings. Sadly, the murders lacked the thrills they should be giving out, being committed either offscreen or cut-offed when the execution is about to be done. In contrary, the film's cast did have their fair roles done right, with Piper Laurie fresh from her costarring role in Carrie (1976), which netted her an Oscar nomination, she did tried her best to make her role memorable. In comparison, however, we can tell Carrie's story of a troubled, supernaturally charged girl is more superior to this dry entry of a spookfest.

Generally, Ruby tries to be spooky, but it lacks the direction to make it anything but. As a slasher, it totally lost all focus and spirals out of control to a rather disappointing finale involving a guilty woman sinking in a swamp with an angry skeleton. For reals.

1 male shot to death
1 male strangled by film reel
1 male bludgeoned, skewered to a tree branch
1 male found dead inside a soda machine
1 male impaled by a flying speaker post
1 male found stabbed on the chest with knife
1 female strangled and drowned
total: 7

Slasher masks Vol 18

I'll be removing the "Of the Week" part of the title cuz it's hardly done by weeks.  So, without further delay, here's this post's picks!

 Dead Girls- A random killer? A deranged fan? An avenging psycho? It can be anyone underneath this mask and frankly, I think he/she's doing this do right! (The hat's a little too much, but least it goes with the cloak!)

 Ice Scream- ...Is that a box of Supercrumpious Strawberry Berry Blast Popsicle Delight over yer head? ...Did you EAT the ice scream first before you put that silly thing over yer head?...

Get out of my sight, you hack!
 Popcorn- Hey hey hey~! My fave movie's kooky villain! In a nutshell, the burnt look with weird metals is a cool gig especially if it allows you to put latex versions of other people's face over yers!

But those masks are a little spoilish so I'm gonna review this final "get-up" he used...which is very distracting. What is that thing he put over his mouth?
 Sandy Hook Lingerie Party Massacre- I hadn't seen this flick...and I don't think I have any intention to either. How many clogs of metal did he used to make this mask?...
The Cycle: I've seen this flick a long long long long time ago and I recall not being impressed by it. i wanna try it again and see if I'll like it by now. Anywho, this is the hulkish killer's get-up in the movie, which is kinda cool in a decent kind of way. Not much to go here so yeah...bye!...

Monday, July 23, 2012

Beware! Jessie In The Woods: Trampa Infernal (1989)

Trampa Infernal (Mexico, 1989) (AKA "Hell's Trap")
Rating: ****
Starring: Pedro Fernández, Edith González and Toño Mauri

It's stupid. Very stupid. There's practically no plot whatsoever and it isn't even that scary or bloody. But why? Why can't I hate it? Was it the cheesiness? The obscurity? The foreign taste?

After a "brutal" gun-slinging showdown (Ala The Zero Boys (1986)), two competing paintball teams decide to settle their feud by hunting down a claimed hostile bear in a nearby woods. What they didn't know, however, is that the bear's the least of their worries; legend has it that a Vietnam vet had gone cuckoo some years ago and now resides in the very same woods. His name is Jesse (no, for real!) and he has a whole arsenal of bows and arrows, mines, machine guns and even Freddy Krueger's razor glove! (Mexicans sure love their Freddy) Soon, these kids will know that he's more than a legend and he's ready to hunt them down, one by one...

By the early nineties, the slasher sub-genre dwindled down to almost nothing. The populous wanted more than the re-runs of cliched hack and slash, thus the loosing streak of interest to all things bodycounting. Surely though, there were some underrated titles released prior to the reviving success of Wes Craven's Scream (1996) and this is one good example of them!

Trampa Infernal, or Hell's Trap, is generally routine; kids go to the woods, old coot warns them not to, old coot's warnings get ignored, build-up here, backwoods there, tells stories around a campfire, crazy old maniac shows up and make mince-meat out of them, cat and mouse antics. The only thing that's actually missing here were some nudity/sex scenes but as simplistic as it is, Trampa Infernal is efficient. The lead characters are plausible and likable enough, the movie's villain has his intimidating momentsand its short running time has a good pacing and direction that kept the movie's adrenaline running smoothly. There's rarely any dull moment and the movie's silly story is fun enough to enjoy as a simple popcorn flick. 

Funnier even was the killer's get-up; Jesse is a cross of Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers and Freddy Kruger, with a bit of Rambo somewhere, staying true to some fan's claim that the movie's the Mexican take on The Zero Boys (1986). He hides his face in a mask that looks like Michael's only with a dirty blonde wig and arms himself with a ginzu glove, which he uses to kill for a while until one of the cast successfully shot this hand clean off. There isn't really much character for this loonie, he's practically an everyday backwoods nut hellbent on murdering, perfectly fitting this movie's midnight B-flick feel.

The kills are an odd bunch, too; ranging from the usual slashings and stabbings to the more explosive dynamite and machine gun kills, the murders of Trampa Infernal have their light of unconventionality for a slasher movie, but I'm always up for a little change, more to say to the movie's final third act where it shifts gears and becomes some sort of action flick finale with the maniac arming himself with a machine gun and entices the hero into his lair for a final showdown. So far, I've seen a lot of movies of this kin going through the same route (Cobra (1986), Silent Rage (1982), Hot Fuzz (2007), etc.) and more often than not, I'm rarely disappointed and Trampa Infernal didn't either.

It may be cheesy, but Trampa Infernal's worth a look for those searching for rare foreign slashers. As much as it attempted to bring some originality and gratuitous gore, it lacked what some fans might like but in terms of suspense and creativity, you might be surprised at how fun a watch this one can be. So what else can I say? This movie deserves to be hunted down for keeps as one of Mexico's finest backwoods slashers!

1 female had her gut slashed with razor glove
1 female had neck slashed with razor glove
1 male found with sickle hacked to the back of his head
2 males gunned down with a machine gun
1 male decimated with a grenade
1 male immolated by a shot gas tank
Total: 7

Sunday, July 22, 2012

If You Came Too Early, Just Scream "NO!": 555 (1998)

555 (1998)
Rating: **
Starring: Ricardo Alverez, Mara Lynn Bastian and Christine Cabana

Floral shirt, beard and a mean squiggly dagger. Yep, that's the look of a certified killer hippie! 

555 is about a rampaging maniac who appears every five years and kill sprees for five days, hence the title...I think. So now the killer's back and bumping off people who are apparently sexually active, and trying to solve these series of brutal murders are some everyday detectives who spend a lot of their time talking and discussing how to capture said criminal instead of, y'know, actually capturing them!

Unsurprisingly, all work word and no play makes 555 a dull boy, delivering some murders that can't even prevent us from seeing how much the budget dwindles. (I mean if you listen carefully, you can tell that's styrofoam they're stabbing.)

The thing about 555 is that it's not scary, nor suspenseful; I was expecting something more of a psychedelic-hippie-drug trip slasher in vein of The Tripper (2006), but instead 555 lags around with its micro-budget nature and often reveals itself to be no more than a cheap slasher done with a home camera and ending up unintentionally funny than what it is should be. I guess what I'm saying is that it lacks the energy and creativity as those other shot-on-video classics like Truth or Dare: A Critical Madness (1986), Thankskilling (2008) or Murder Loves Killers Too (2009), but it did try.

555, as cheap and dull as it is, still makes it around as a good cheese ride in a so-bad-its-good manner; the scripting and the awful acting proved to be a crazy pair and, despite its cheapness, the murders are actually good at a level. Oddly, in reverse slasher traditions, the male victims in this film tend to be killed off in a more grand fashion while the female victims are reduced to gut stabs. Probably has something to do with the killer's sexual problem. (Hence this post's title, which is by the way a really funny scene)

I'm not entirely sure what to say concerning 555's rareness. It is a rare slasher title for a lot of good reasons but seeing it does bring some pride into my collection and this blog, I'm juggling my feelings for this film. Was it a decent watch? A waste of time? And what does the extra five means anyway? 5 years, I get that. In 5 days, okay. But what of the last 5? Five couples?

...Wait...oh my God! Holy Deadpool-kicking-a-dead-little person! I think I finally solved the last 5 in the title! 

Anywho, 555 is camp cheese delight; love it or hate it, your move, partner!

1 male decapitated with machete
1 female gutted with dagger
1 male hacked on the neck with machete
1 female sliced with dagger
1 male decapitated with machete
1 female sliced to death with dagger
1 male gets a machete through the neck
1 female stabbed to death with dagger
1 male killed offscreen
1 female sliced to death with dagger
1 male shot to death (Though, i'm pretty sure the actor didn't know he was...)
Total: 11

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Nightmares in the Dreamscapes: The Slayer (1982)

The Slayer (1982) (AKA Nightmare Island)
rating: ***
starring: Sarah Kendall, Frederick Flynn and Carol Kottenbrook

When Kay, a married artist, finds herself haunted by a recurring nightmare involving a burning house and a ghostly figure in the midst, her husband arranged a weekend getaway to an isolated home in the middle of an island to ease her from these dreams. Tagging along her brother and his wife, Kay tries to forget the unexplained dread she was feeling but finds this impossible when the isolated home they'll be staying at resembles the very burning house in her dreams. And in no surprise, there's also something lurking around the island, killing anybody it can grab hold to. Something called "The Slayer".

And that's probably the whole movie in a nut shell. The Slayer doesn't really stray much from the plot and basically, everything about it is predictable; we all know they're doomed the moment we see that the house was the same one from our lead character's dreams and paintings, and we definitely know that the killer is more than flesh and bone. Supposedly, it's a basic slasher film but somehow, it found a way to make itself more than just the standard hack-and-slash.

For one, the story focused more on Kay's psychosis and paranoia, giving a sense of dread and uncertainty throughout the movie. And the fact that these aren't young teenagers being hunted and killed here, gave the supernatural angle of the movie more power over the mature, realistic and idealistic nature of the victims. It also has some very brutal gore which gave this film much worth to be addressed as a Video Nasty. I cannot tell if, by today's standards the impact would be the same, but truth be told, the colorful murders of The Slayer did made the film's tedious pacing a good worth.

So, as much as I find this a tedious and lagging walk through the usual routes, The Slayer is a good film in the end, which is also a good twist that the slasher world had to offered to us.

1 male had his head bashed open with boat paddle
1 male decapitated on a cellar door
1 male gets his throat tangled with fishing line, dragged into the ocean and drowned
1 female pitchforked through the chest
1 male shot with flaregun
total: 5

You won't be coming home: Sleepaway Camp (1983)

Sleepaway Camp (1983) (AKA Nightmare Vacation)
Rating: ***1/2
Starring:  Felissa Rose, Jonathan Tiersten and Karen Fields

the thousand yard stare...
A day at the lake changed it all; fathers John and Lenny were enjoying a leisurely boat ride with their children until they got in the way of a waterskiing group of youngsters, whose motorboat accidentally rammed through the family, killing Angela's father and brother.

 Eight years passed, Angela has grown up to her early teens and is living with her Aunt Martha and her cousin Ricky. Stricken mute and awfully shy, Angela is sent to Camp Arawak to enjoy a holiday with her cousin but only to face unpleasant characters including an obnoxious owner, a chef with a pedophilic fetish, and Ricky’s snobbish ex-girlfriend from the previous summer. Because of her awkward behavior, Angela is instantly picked on as a freak by both her peers and some of the counselors, only finding comfort from Ricky and his friend Paul.

You and me, Me and you, together.
Just as it seems they're about to go through one hell of a Summer, the camp is suddenly rocked by a series of bizarre accidents and murders that left many campers and counselors dead. And it all appears to be linking up to Angela. Could there be someone killing for her?

I see a hot iron curler in your future, bitches...
There's no denying that Sleepaway Camp is generally routine; the backwoods premise, the two-dimensional characters, the methodical murders, some even considers this film as one of the many rip-off of Friday the 13th, (which is bull, honestly) but whether it is one or not, it does very well for itself by mixing the cliches with a coming of age teen drama of sorts.

Doomsayers always bites it good.
Sleepaway Camp is really grim; Looking past the hammy acting and the nostalgic summer camp fun, lies a disturbing and very sad plot that finally reveals itself at the near end. Throughout all of this mayhem, Angela tries to find love and hope for her broken life by coming out of her shell, but with all those snobs and brats going around picking on her because she is different, was there really hope for her? Somebody seems to think so and those people responsible for making this Summer hell for her, or just got in the way, will start to drop like flies, leading to a revelation that came out of nowhere, a twist no horror fan can ever forget.

The movie boasts some great murders; a foul drowning with an equally unsettling aftermath, death by bee stings, a back evisceration, and one very nasty iron curler shoved down a broad's lady hole. Make those victims deserving of their fate and you have a sick yet fun ride, but add a few innocents campers in them, then you got yourself a shocker! Considerably, this is perhaps the one backwoods slasher to have more campers being killed instead of the counselors, adding a bit of notoriety to this B-Flick's reputation as these kid victims are getting younger by the minute.

Half in half, Sleepaway Camp can still be considered to be a cheese fest that deserves its popularity. It's a shock and shlock that goes side by side, and perhaps one of the better early 80s releases made before the sub-genre went downhill half a decade later...

1 male and 1 child ran over by speedboat
1 male pulled down into the lake, drowned
1 male stung to death by bees
1 female back sliced with knife
1 female smothered with pillow, hot curling iron shoved into her groin
4 boys hacked to death with hatchet
1 male gets an arrow shot through his neck
1 male decapitated
Total: 12
Just the girl we're looking for?

Thursday, July 19, 2012


Holy Shit Hole on a Wooden Box! I won another award!!!

Thanks, Wade!
Alex Jowski of Geek Juice Radio gave me the The Liebster Award!  It's one of those blogging awards where, when one receives it they pass it on to 11 people, and now I'm happy to share it with YOU! YES YOU! YOU LUCKY SONAVABITCH!

So here are the are rules when one is given the award:

1. Each person must post 11 things about themselves
2. Answer the 11 questions the person giving the award has set for you.
3. Create 11 questions for the people you will be giving the award to.
4. Choose 11 people to award and send them a link to your post.
5. Go to their page and tell them.

So, the furst part of the segment, which I called:

Tell me about yourself~

a. Currently working as a call center agent/ customer support agent.
Behold my work face!
b. Believes in many unusual practices such as the habit of sleeping with a book under your pillow to make yourself smarter, and thinking of six impossible things to happen before breakfast.
c. Despite my art style, I have very little favorite animes and only enjoys one in rare occasions.
d. Currently a BIG LMFAO fan
e. Favorite cartoons: The Simpsons, Adventure Time, Regular Show, Bob's Burger, American Dad, Cleveland Show, Family Guy, South Park...
and MLP: FIM...bet you didn't see that coming!
f. I've been electrocuted ten times.
g. Doesn't own a simple gaming console and yet can play Marvel VS Capcom 3: The Fate of Two Worlds, which is my current fave game.
meet my current team, yo!
h. Is not a Star Wars fan
i. Is a Star Wars parodies fan (Space Balls, Family Guy's Star Wars trilogy, etc.)
You and me, both, Barf.
j. Never learned how to use a drawing tablet.
k. Had a thing for using puns...

The Second segment:


1. What do you enjoy most about blogging?
Giving out my own opinions and writing whatever I want to write.

2. What movie do you end up recommending to people more than any other movie?
...Hard to say...um...to be honest, there's a lot of movies I try to recommend to people. Read one review and there's always a recommendation at the end. But if there's gonna be one title I'll be more than happy to share, it's Death Stop Holocaust. Seriously, it's f*&%ing good!

3. What celebrity or artist have you have met who has inspired you the most in your life?
Never met a live one in my life...so far.

4. What is your favorite "bad" movie?
Again with the broad question! I happen to adore a lot of "bad" movies!...In fact, I think a good third of my reviews are made up of "bad" movies! But if I'm gonna choose one it'll be... Last Caress, a nearly plagiarized piece of bad cinema that I love and care.

5. What is a movie that offends you - a movie you hate for moral reasons.
Prom Night and April Fools Day remake. The moral of the movies? Never touch a fucking classic.

6. What are two of your favorite books that have NEVER been adapted into a movie.
Robert Bloch's Night-World. But I think it's high time someone should adapt this into a feature film! Such a kewl buk~! The other's a Black Flame spin-off novel for Friday the 13th called "The Jason Strain". It has zombies and slasher flick cliches all over it and I'll kill a thousand Skrull babies for it to be adapted! You heard me. Skrull baby massacre. for a movie adaptation. It's that good.

7. Whose opinion do you trust more in deciding if a movie is good or not? Critics in magazines/newspapers, fellow bloggers, or the general public (like imdb scores, etc.)?
I actually listen to everybody's and anybody's opinion about a certain movie before I check it out. If majority of them says it's awful, so be it. Unless, of course, I'm attracted to the film, then I have to see it myself.

8.. Which game from your childhood do you wish you could play again? (Could be a video game or a playground game like Tag).
Magic The Gathering, the first card game I ever played and I still have my deck.

9. Do you have a nickname?  How did you get that name?
Actually, I have dozens of nicknames that I use to adress myself: Kaijinu is the name of a giant wolf monster I drew and recognize as my "signature monster". Herman Kertez is an anagram of sorts of "Secret Name".  Luis is my second Name and prefer to my friends and Family to address me as that cuz I believe there's too many Pauls in the world. Others include Gideon Knowles, Cane E. Youst and Mark Milliger.

10. What was the first thing you posted on your blog and why?  (Initial "Welcome to my Blog" posts don't count).
A "Golden Review" of Friday the 13th 1980

11. What is your favorite beverage?
Either a Shirley Temple or a can of Coke Zero.

Now, Since I'm done with that, time or my Le Questions~!

1. Had you ever daydream about something and what's the most memorable one you ever had?
2. Who's the one Comic Book hero you NEVER want to see made to a movie out of respect and fear of flopping?
3. Will you try to dance Jamie Lee Curtis' disco scene in Prom Night (1980) with a partner?
4. Name one of the least likely movie franchise entry that suddenly became your number one fave?
5. What's the weirdest experience you had involving a movie? (theatres, DVD releases, etc.)
6. Did you ever had a crush on a fantasy character in your teen years? If yes, who?
7. If a movie character out of your fave flicks suddenly appeared in front of your doorstep, who will it be and what'll you do?
8. WATCH OUT! EXTRA TERRESTRIALS! And you have a tool shed behind you! What'll you do?
9. With all these news on rocket launches, disease outbreaks and people killing each other, how close do you think we are before things go 28 Weeks Later?
10. If you had the power to change yer appearance, whose face yer gonna try first?
11. Worst tasting delicacy you ever encountered?

And I tag...
Craig Ed of Let's Get out of Here!
Maynard of Horror Movie Diary
Zena of Real Queen of Horror
Michelle, The Girl who Loves Horror
Hud of Vegan Voorhees
Eric King of Back Online Back on Duty
George Beremov of Cinemarvellous!
Venom5 of Cool Ass Cinema
Melissa Bradley of Melissa's Imaginarium
Gabriel of Invisible Kidz

wait, that's only ten? well, what's a rule if you can't break them?

So there concludes another award into my trophy room! Now while you kids enjoy yer turn, I'm gonna have fun with a Red ninja and some babes~ Ciao!