TV Terror: Chucky - Season 2 (2022 Series)

Chucky (Season 2, 2022 Series)

Rating: **1/2

Starring: Zackary Arthur, Bjorgvin Arnarson, Alyvia Alyn Lind

Previously on Chucky, season one; a Good Guy doll possessed by the soul of Chucky, real name Charles Lee Ray, AKA the Lakeshore Strangler, shows up in the New Jersey town of Hackensack. He nearly manipulated a lonely queer teen named Jake into becoming a murderer, only for the boy to wise up and learn that the doll is actually prompting him to kill as a part of a ritual that's supposed to raise an army of even more possessed Good Guy dolls, spreading chaos across America. Jake, along with his crush Devon and a bully-turned-ally Lexy, and too returning franchise heroes Andy Barclay and Kyle, puts a stop to Chucky's Diabolical plan, with Andy seemingly driving himself and the rest of the living killer dolls to their deaths off a cliff.

Season two starts months after Chucky's bloody reign of terror in Hackensack; Jake and Devon are now living apart with foster parents, while Lexy is undergoing therapy with her seemingly traumatized kid sister and a mother whose milking the tragedy for political clout. Things go South when on Halloween, one of the Chucky dolls tricked the kids into meeting up and have Jake's young foster brother bring the little Good Guy and his expertly crafted home-made bomb to them. After a brief struggle, the bomb is detonated, killing off the tyke, and the three is naturally blamed for the tragedy. But instead of getting thrown off and locked away, Jake, Devon and Lexy find themselves chucked to a Catholic school that specializes in treating problem kids, which also happens to be Chucky's former residence. 

There they face an overly pious Father Bryce (played by Devon Sawa with no connection to the previous character he played last season), a real shortage of mean kids for the kill count, Lexy's struggles with drug addiction and, of course, Chucky dolls going around the school killing random people before stalking the lead trio and their new member to the anti-Chucky movement, a sweet nerdy girl named Nadine. Curiously, though, the story often dips into the same black comedy curveballs as that of Seed of Chucky (2004)'s when it comes to moments involving any killer dolls like one misadventure involving the reprogramming of a captured Good Guy into being good ala A Clockwork Orange, or the arrival of even more Good Guy variants like a really swole one who'd take care of loose ends, as well a Good Guy who may have taken a liking to Apocalypse Now (1979)'s Marlon Brando a tad too much. A fair deal of these mini murderers are often taken care of so easily, which starts to show the downside of Chucky learning how to split his soul into multiple dolls; when it comes to the movies prior to Cult of Chucky (2017) or even Curse of Chucky (2013), there's a satisfying sense of triumph when Charles goes through the beating and get killed in the end as, albeit the knowledge that he'll be back somehow, there's only one of him. Now, when one Chucky doll goes down, there's no more weight to it, no sense of victory as you know somewhere is another one of these little bastards sneaking up on them with a knife, a hammer or, god forbid, the world's quietest chainsaw.

While all of this is going on at the school, season 2 spreads its spotlight to Tiffany Valentine's own little situation when her two young adult children, Glen and Glenda (both played now by Lachlan Watson), shows up one day seeking answers as, for some odd reason, the two forgot that they used to be one genderfluid living doll back at Seed and have been feeling "empty" whenever one of them is away from the other. Tiffany, still in charades as Jennifer Tilly, tries her best to protect her two darlings from the truth, but the ruse gets complicated when the twins discover their mum's dirty little secret: Nina Pierce, the ever-so-tormented lead girl from Cult and Curse, quadruple-amputated to prevent her from escaping and forced to live with the very soul of Charles Lee Ray inhabiting her body. This fork in the road eventually leads to the twins learning about their past and even more murders at the hand of Tiffany as she struggles to keep things in control, both homicidally and financially, leaving Glen and Glenda choosing sides between their loving yet psychotic mother or a small gang of survivors who are out to stop their father's increasingly convoluted plans of horror and terror.

This entire mess of a story somewhat straightens itself up around the near end when most of the players introduced gather around and attempt an exorcism on a Good Guy which is, honestly, one of the best ideas this franchise ever dwelled in. I mean, with all of the pseudo-voodoo going on, how is it we only now tackle the possibility of doing another rite to get rid of Chucky? But as you would expect, things didn't go as easy as expected and, unsurprisingly, characters get snuffed out, including those who were introduced for last minute twists only to have their existence and contributions to the Child's Play lore practically rendered pointless by dying no soon after. (But, hey, at least their deaths were pretty bloody and gory. I guess that has to count for something) The end result of this exorcism-gone-wrong would have made a great season finale but, instead, we're treated with one more episode where we go jump ahead a few months to Christmas and one "final" Chucky doll plots to kill Jake, Devon and Lexy. That concludes the season with Chucky splitting a victim gloriously gory with a chainsaw, and then he himself is carved gloriously gory with said chainsaw, a character we nearly forgot turns out to be evil, Tiffany is on the run and possible in danger herself and the Glen/da doll returns with a new makeover and a new name, Gigi, with plans to see the world~

All in all, this second season of Chucky showcases the very reason why I rarely bothered with media with plotlines expanding over multiple books/movies/shows/whatever; it's simply all over the place and often gets too complicated to follow through. Some established ideas were retconned with twists, only to have it go nowhere and dropped unceremoniously, plus the potential drama between the human characters is just a cycle of bickering and making ups that gets real tiring quickly, which doesn't help the fact that a lot of these troubles feel uninspired and recycled. When it comes to the horror sequences, thankfully, the show still packs a real gut punch with its gore, torture and deaths, sometimes peppered with black humor and mean-spirit that I wholeheartedly welcome. Some cheese can be found, true, but better have that to lighten things up than have the entire show drag on with its crisscross plotting straightfaced and dull.

Frankly, the show's increasing silliness is what kept me watching (Plus, the gore. Of course), though I cannot deny that the amount of clashing surprises, motivations and dead ends hindered me from enjoying this season any further. Hopefully things get more focused story-wise in the future, all the while maintaining the grue and black comedy, but I can't help but think that's wishful thinking considering what I just experienced here... 

Bodycount:

1 boy blown up with a bomb (S2, E1 - Halloween II)

1 elderly female frightened into a heart attack (S2, S2 - The Sinners Are Much More Fun)

1 male had his throat cut with a nail file, stabbed to death (S2, S2 - The Sinners Are Much More Fun)

1 elderly male strangled with a rosary (S2, E3 - Hail Mary!)

1 male beaten, heart punched out (S2, E3 - Hail Mary!)

1 male found dead from poisoned wine (S2, E4 - Death on Denial)

1 male shot to death (S2, E4 - Death on Denial)

1 Liv Morgan knifed to death (S2, E4 - Death on Denial)

1 female slashed and stabbed to death with a straight razor (S2, E5 - Doll on Doll)

1 female tossed off a tower, lands on a statue (S2, E6 - He Has Risen Indeed)

1 female ran over by a truck (S2, E7 - Goin' To The Chapel)

1 male blown apart (S2, E7 - Goin' To The Chapel)

1 female gets a thrown bowie knife to the eye (S2, E7 - Goin' To The Chapel)

1 female had her soul swapped, gunned down (S2, E7 - Goin' To The Chapel)

1 male electrocuted with a defibrillator, bursts into flames (S2, E8 - Chucky, Actually)

2 victims found dead, souls removed (S2, E8 - Chucky, Actually)

1 female split in half with (The World's Quietest) chainsaw (S2, E8 - Chucky, Actually)

Total: 18

She's Titanium: M3GAN (2023)

M3GAN (2023)
Rating: ***1/2
Starring: Allison Williams, Violet McGraw and Ronny Chieng

If there's anything I learned from watching murderous robot movies is that it usually starts with a good (or, at least, "good-ish") intention; The Terminator (1984) started with a revolutionary defense network computer. Chopping Mall (1986) started with "Protector bots" getting set to patrol a mall. These machines were all designed and programmed to benefit us, but once that programming becomes problematic for the bots, the bodycount drops and all hell breaks loose. Producers James Wan and Jason Blum, along with director Gerard Johnstone jumps into this bandwagon with their film M3GAN, showing us what would happen when a highly advanced "toy" is programmed to do most, if not all child-rearing duties, all the while having the industrial robot strength to tear someone's head off.

At Funki Toy Corporation, developer Gemma wants to revolutionize robotic toys by working on a prototype autonomous doll with highly adaptive artificial intelligence. Lovingly nicknamed M3GAN, for "Model 3 Generative Android", the doll fails to show any value for Gemma's CEO boss David Lin as not only did the prototype's impromptu first demonstration end up disastrously with melted silicone and computer glitches, but the CEO is more interested in making sure Funki is still on the top of the toy market food chain after finding out competitors started making cheaper knock-offs of their more popular products, forcing Gemma to continue working on improving their pre-existing brands instead.

Further hindering Gemma's plans on finalizing M3GAN is an unexpected turn in her life; after a road accident took the lives of her sister and brother-in-law, Gemma becomes the guardian of her young niece Cady James. This initially clashes greatly with Gemma's workaholic life, but she's determined to do her best in balancing out her work days with nurturing Cady, even if it meant finding somebody else to carry the burden. 

Somebody, or something.

This inspires Gemma and her colleagues to propel themselves to finally perfecting M3GAN and have decided to make Cady the doll's primary user. After another demonstration in which M3GAN showed great interaction with the girl, David is impressed and convinced that this will surely put Funki ahead of other toy companies, thus starts a campaign project wherein Cady becomes the poster child for a planned public unveiling for M3GAN. What everyone fails to take account for, however, is just how good M3GAN is as at bonding with Cady, so much so that the girl has grown an unhealthy attachment to the robot. Furthermore, M3GAN's growing independence is vastly improving and adapting past beyond parental and emotional support, soon developing a manipulative and mechanical bloodlust that have her eliminating anything and anyone she views as a threat to Cady's well-being.

The truth of the matter is, M3GAN is a big melting pot of varying horror tropes found not only in "bot gone rogue" fright flicks, but also in "killer toy" horror stories wherein the plaything gets to do away one victim at the time as it takes advantage that no one would suspect a child's toy to be the killer, even if said toy happens to be as tall as a child, programmed to walk, talk, learn and do dances out of the blue. That being said, what it lacks in originality, it makes up with silliness and cheese, the kind of cheeky entertainment one would enjoy once we shut off the big melon between our shoulders and accept the fact that a killer robot child can do that much damage and have enough sass to still go around. 

An attempt for depth is present, yes, with the script taking the time to bring up the consequences of children getting too attached to gadgets and technology-based toys as it affects their developing social skills and relationships, as well as showing the negative impacts of adults choosing to use technology as a rearing tool and a mean to avoid problems. The execution for these themes, though, often comes paired with directions littered with horror tropes and chuckle-worthy craziness, making the attempted drama feel majorly hammy and misplaced. For most, this would be a real deal breaker, but if you don't really see this as that big of a problem and you're just in it for the popcorn-friendly fun, then M3GAN still delivers. 

Among its share of good points, the film has a preposterous yet sharp work of writing satirizing the dog-eat-dog world of toy markets and technology addiction, helped work by an alright line of talented casts, particularly Allison Williams as Gemma, whose hyperrational and shortsighted cheerfulness towards the seeming success of her robotic creation gets satisfyingly challenged once she figured out that she may have done too well in making M3GAN the perfect child companion, thus must face the horrifying consequences that come with it. Playing her niece Cady is young Violet McGraw, with a performance that actually works well enough for a character going through grief and a longing need for loving warmth, even if the emotions she's going for feels rushed within transitions thanks to the movie's speedy pace. On the funnier side of the coin, Ronny Chieng played CEO Lin delightfully with a very short fuse, making him a very good source of some of this film's derided hilarity.

And, of course, who could forget our titular killer bot, M3GAN? Played by New Zealand child actress Amie Donald and voiced by Jenna Davis, the automaton doll is undoubtedly the film's biggest sell, a new slasher horror icon that boasts a whole lot of presence just from attitude alone. Beautiful yet creepy, and not to mention uncannily expressive, the thing is basically the pinnacle of what makes dolls unnerving, being somehow both real and fake at the same time, only M3GAN comes with a welcoming sense of her own absurdity and silliness via TikTok dance sessions and her chirping SIA's Titanium as a lullaby. Soon enough, doll would embrace her inner late-80s slasher villain and begin throwing out quips and deadly charms as she delightfully tears off a young bully's ear or chase someone around with the stabby part of a broken paper guillotine. Her killing spree do lack a sizable bodycount and gruesome gore, but it still works thanks to it finding the time to be absurdly entertaining through the build-up of each attack. (That, and there is an unrated version of the flick which added some more bloody chunks for the kills)

As you may have gathered, M3GAN (2023) is a popcorn film through and through. It's not effectively scary nor is it shocking, but it's aims to be fun and, frankly, it managed to be fun! I, for one, welcome our new robotic killer doll overlord and those who are nuts for cheesy B-flicks should consider, too!

Bodycount:

1 male and 1 female killed in vehicular accident

1 boy ran over by a car

1 female gets repeatedly doused with a chemical sprayer, dies from severe burns

1 male ran through with a paper guillotine blade

1 male gets a paper guillotine to the neck

Total: 6

Just A Couple Of Dummies: The Dummy (1995) and The Dummy (2000) Double Bill Review

From the titular Devil Doll of 1964 to Slappy of R.L. Stine's Goosebumps franchise, ventriloquist dummies have been a minor staple of horror media, tapping into the pediophobic creepiness of the dolls' uncanny valley looks. Entrust this trope to capable hands and we'll get horror cult classics like Magic (1978) and Dead Silence (2007) treating us to a chilling good time. On the other side of the coin, the more clumsy low budget side, we'll unfortunately get messes such as these instead...

The Dummy (1995)

Rating: *

Starring: Lisa Cook, Todd Jason Cook and Sabrina Cook

Directed and starring Todd Jason Cook, who I'm sure a few of you reading this would know as the same guy who brought us underground cult films like Evil Night (1992), Death Metal Zombies (1995) and Zombiefied (2012), this shlock starts with a newlywed couple visiting a gypsy psychic for laughs and insulting her readings. This obviously enrages the woman, so she casts a death curse upon them and calls forth a demonic ventriloquist dummy to end the couple as well as basically anyone they come across. The rest of the story is practically a rinse-repeat cycle of the couple visiting, getting visited or receiving a phone call from friends and relatives, only for those folks to get attacked and slaughtered by the killer dummy while heavy metal plays in the background, up until only the newlyweds are left for the dummy to terrorize.

As one can expect from a shot on video Z-grade flick, The Dummy (1995) has the production quality of an aged moldy peanut with grainy and dull camera work, an uninspired repetitive direction and appalling audio quality. The characters are outrageously hammy and their dialogues are equally dim, unsurprisingly, and the killer dummy itself is practically just a dummy getting wiggled around while kitchenware is taped or glued on their hands. I will say at least that the hokey gore effects have a little sense of cheesy charm to them, coming fact that there's some effort made to make them as gruesome as possible, but there's only so much random people talking and doing crap on low budget standard that I could take before a boring movie absolutely shoots down any interest I have with it. 

If anything, the whole dreck is more of a collection of kill scenes held together by a very thin and unremarkable excuse of a story, trailing along the creepy killer doll fad that's ineptly and, dare I even say, hilariously executed here. Fans of extremely low-budget do-it-yourself horror flicks may have a fair time enjoying this, but for the rest of us, this one might be a difficult fling to sit through...

Bodycount:

1 male stabbed in the eye with a dagger

1 female repeatedly slashed with a knife, stabbed in the mouth

1 male had his throat cut with a dagger

1 male whipped on the face with a length of chain

1 female stabbed in the gut with a dagger

1 male stabbed in the throat with a dagger

1 male shot on the head

1 male stabbed in the knife (dream)

1 female had her throat cut with a knife (dream)

1 male ran through with a fire poker

1 male stabbed in the back with a knife (dream)

1 female hacked on the neck with a machete 

Total: 12

~~~

The Dummy (2000)

Rating: *1/2

Starring: Keith Singleton, Irina Björklund and Jocelyne Lopez

Saw this one when I was just around a single-digit age and I can clearly say that, after seeing it recently, nostalgia isn't what it used to be with this title.

This little obscurity centers around a ventriloquist named Paul (Keith Singleton, who also happens to be its director, producer and writer!) coming back to his home town and making a career out of his talent at a comedy club after a lengthy 20 year stay at a mental hospital. Things were going as fine as a jittery puppet master could try make it to be, even bringing home a couple of women from the club to sleep with, but it all starts to unravel for the worse when Tommy, his ventriloquist dummy, seemingly comes to life and murders one of his coworkers at the club. The following morning comes and a local snarky entertainment critic bites the big one next with a poisoned blow dart after bashing Paul's performance.

Hearing about these recent deaths, Paul starts to freak out and reaches out to a few people he could trust for help, including a new lady friend who wanted to write a book about people with special conditions and a psychiatrist who treated him back at the ward. It seems this isn't the first time the man had some problems dealing with dead people and he believes all of this has something to do with a few blackouts he have been getting lately, as well as his own foul-mouthed homicidal ventriloquist dummy...

I'll give The Dummy (2000) this; it tries to mold itself as this low budget Hitchcockian stride of hero-antagonists struggling with their dark pasts, a "Jekyll and Hyde" premise coupled with some efforts to deliver genuine suspense and thrills as seen in some scenes such as Paul trying to dispose the body of one of Tommy's victims, and too the few kills that focus more on build-up rather than blood and gore. The whole strive has its potential to be effective but it mostly fails due to the fact that plentiful of the talents involved couldn't act to sell what the movie's offering and the plot itself is just as basic as they could come, very much predictable from the start to finish even with all the red herrings thrown in to try sway us away from figuring things out too soon. You could say it overstayed its implications to what's going on in our lead's head to the point that its little reveal in the end comes to no surprise, in turn leading to a letdown of a finale regardless of whether you see this film as a straight-to-video psychological thriller or a killer doll slasher flick.

It's cinematography is shaky at its worse, lowered down further in quality thanks to this movie's inept editing and uninspired lighting. The only thing The Dummy (2000) would probably be best remembered for is its long gratuitous sex scene between Singleton and Irina Bjorklund, a Finnish Jussi Award winner in her first American movie role, basically handing this film its obligatory B-grade sleaze. Other than that, this film is a rather overly familiar walk down the psychodrama path paired with slasher film bodycounting and risqué business and, honestly, there isn't much you're missing here. In fact, it can get darn tiring if you don't have the patience for ludicrous bargain bin Hitchcockian thrills but should you find yourself curious about this little mess, a word of warning: Avoid the UK DVD release! They zoomed in the whole thing so much that it cropped heads and credits! The US VHS release does fair a tad better, but it is getting shorter in supply...

Bodycount:

1 female knifed in the gut

1 male knifed in the neck

1 female knifed to death

1 male shot on the neck with a poison blow dart

1 female hacked to death with an axe

1 male ran through with a spear

Total: 6

TV Terror: Chucky (2021 TV Series)

Chucky (2021 Series)

Rating: ***1/2

Starring: Zackary Arthur, Bjorgvin Arnarson and Alyvia Alyn Lind

Over the years, the Child Play movies evolve from a creepily clever take on supernatural slashing to a splatstick horror comedy parodying the ups and downs of serial killer married life and parenthood, to a straight-to-video mish-mash of the old and new which we last seen ended with open doors all the way back at 2017. Now, it appears the iconic killer doll is hitting the small screen as a TV series and the result is, well, mostly good!

Taking place some time after Cult of Chucky (2017), we start the scene at a yard sale in Hackensack, New Jersey, where young artistic loner Jake Wheeler (Zackary Arthur) purchases a vintage Good Guy named for an art project made of doll parts. This more or less makes him the weird kid in school, a baggage he's struggling to carry along the usual coming-of-age teen angst, which so happens include dealing with his bullying cousin Junior (Teo Briones) and his cousin's queen bee girlfriend Lexy (Alyvia Alyn Lind), as well as handling his own insecurities as a gay boy secretly crushing on cute true crime podcaster Devon. (Björgvin Arnarson) 

Problem arises when Jake's depressed drunkard of a father hit the bottle too hard one night and goes physical on the boy, prompting the Good Guy to break away from Barbie-mode and do him real good with some handy dandy live wires and projectile vomiting. (No, I'm not kidding) The death is ruled as an accident (for now) and Jake moves in with his uncle's family, a living arrangement Junior isn't too happy about. But it seems our pint-sized slasher has some plans for Jake as he starts talking to the boy about the joys of murder and how he's really on his side, giving the loner a sense of warmth that just so happens to don a bloodied kitchen knife. We can tell this is all manipulation but why exactly is the doll so very keen on having Jake do away his own murders?

It all leads to some secrets revealed, pasts explored, unlikely partnerships made, the return of a few familiar faces and an increasing bodycount that'll leave the town of Hackensack doomed in the plastic hands of our infamous Lake Shore Strangler, Charles Lee Ray (And company), but not before Chucky plays the waiting game focusing itself with the story first, random bloodlust second. And for a good run, this works well enough as the tween actors do a remarkable job on their roles as little misfits and misunderstood troublemakers despite some predictability on their development (navigating young queer love and the typical bully-learns-humility arc, to name a few), a fact that makes up for how most of the adult characters here are written flimsily, lacking any real personality and with tongues pressed oh so firmly in the cheek that their incompetence and ham earn them deaths via rampaging killer doll.

Thankfully, it isn't a Chucky show without the man himself, Brad Dourif! And as always, along with the workably expressive puppetry and practical effects bringing the Good guy doll to life, he brings a lot to the table as our iconic late-80s killer doll, ranging from being funny and comforting, to dangerously menacing, sometimes in a single scene wherein he had to interact with whoever kid he's preying upon, Jake included. It's here where the series tackles an intriguing aspect that was never fully explored in depth in any of the movies, providing a more psychological stab at how Charles Lee Ray works as we see his not-so-humble beginnings as a psychopathic child growing up into a serial killer, developing philosophies throughout these years as life lessons and metaphors glorifying the need to do murder. It is these philosophies and a level of gentleness that put Chucky here in an unusual position as a mentor, hoping to influence his pupil's homicidal impulse for reasons only he'll benefit from given that it doesn't get challenged.  

Within the first half of the season, Chucky explores the effectiveness of the Charles Lee Ray approach to being a slasher guru to the youth, culminating to some good drama and development from our young casts, as well as some decent murder sprees as Chucky eventually starts taking lives and harming others before fighting against an alliance between Jake, Lexy and Devon. When the second half of the season rolls in, though, it feels like the series shifted to another story as while most of the major tensions were resolved by this point, there is still the mystery behind Chucky's arrival in Hackensack and what his ultimate goal is. This is when the legacy Child’s Play actors enter the picture, with an adult Andy Barclay (Alex Vincent) and his foster sister Kyle (Christine Elise), former Chucky victims, arriving to hunt down all the possessed Good Guy dolls, while Chucky's equally psychotic partner Tiffany (Jennifer Tilly) tags along a possessed Nica Pierce (Fiona Dourif), Chucky's terrorized victim from Curse of Chucky (2013) and Cult of Chucky (2017), to Hackensack so the two can initiate a cross country murder plan involving a voodoo spell and an army of Chucky dolls.

As much as I want to fully enjoy these returning faces, their parts in the series were a bit uneven for me; for one, Andy Barclay and Kyle spend most of their time traveling to Hackensack, leaving very little of an impression as there's hardly anything for them to do once they finally got to town. Tiffany's very complex relationship with Chucky rears its ugly head again as we see her act out both her loving partner and tired girlfriend/wife routines once more, supposedly looked deeper here through a series of flashbacks but it personally felt dragging as it added very little to what we already established between her and Chucky from the movies. The only interesting bit thrown here is how Chucky's possession works on a human victim as seen through Nica Pierce, which is later taken advantage by Tiffany in a macabre kidnapping situation. The matter that Nica just couldn't catch a break makes me wonder what the series would've been like if it focused more on her plight, which would've left her fate by the end of this season all the more shocking.

On a positive note, I like that Chucky just took a little dip back to the horror-comedy bits of Bride (1998) and Seed of Chucky (2004) and not completely throwing away the semi-serious tone when this second half kicked in, dishing out enough cheesiness and pure B-grade chaos in the climax as Chucky paints a matinee red with blood while patrons watch Frankenstein (1931) for a charity event, all the while our trio of kids try to put a stop to the madness. I just wish there's a bit of consistency to how Chucky can be defeated; one end have him surviving getting decapitated with a knife, but then we see a few of the possessed dolls dying (or seemingly dying) away from multiple gunshot wounds, having their heads blown off or their throat crushed until their eyes and tongue popped off. It's a little dent that grinds my gears but, all in all, the show is still a real fun ride that sets itself as a competent enough production with strongly composed and expressive visuals, striking lighting and a barrage of creatively gruesome murder set-pieces within an engaging tween drama and slasher fanservice. 

To simply put it, Chucky is a solid piece of slasher entertainment. One that left its doors open again for another season of more mischief, macabre and massacres

Bodycount:

1 male electrocuted on a soaked live wire (S1, E1 - Death By Misadventure)

1 female pushed head first into knives (S1, E2 - Give Me Something Good to Eat)

1 male knifed to death (S1, E3 - I Liked to be Hugged)

1 male stabbed to death with an ice pick (flashback) (S1, E3 - I Liked to be Hugged)

1 female found murdered with a knife (flashback) (S1, E3 - I Liked to be Hugged)

1 male found murdered, mutilated (flashback) (S1, E4 - Just Let Go)

1 male gets a thrown scalpel to the back, repeatedly stabbed with syringes (S1, E4 - Just Let Go)

1 female knifed to death (flashback) (S1, E5 - Little Little Lies)

1 male seen murdered (S1, E5 - Little Little Lies)

1 male had his throat slashed with a knife (S1, E5 - Little Little Lies)

1 female decapitated (S1, E5 - Little Little Lies)

1 male had his throat cut with a nail file (flashback) (S1, E6 - Cape Queer)

1 female crashed through a window with a rolling file cart, falls to her death (S1, E6 - Cape Queer)

1 female toppled down the stairs, neck broken (S1, E6 - Cape Queer)

1 male seen murdered (flashback) (S1, E7 - Twice the Grieving, Double the Loss)

1 female knifed to death (flashback) (S1, E7 - Twice the Grieving, Double the Loss)

1 male beaten to death with a doll (S1, E7 - Twice the Grieving, Double the Loss)

1 male killed offcamera with a knife (S1, E8 - An Affair to Dismember)

10 victims knifed from underneath their seats (S1, E8 - An Affair to Dismember)

1 male knifed in the chest (S1, E8 - An Affair to Dismember)

Total: 29

Random Thought Of The Day: Child's Play 3 (1991)

So, is Child's Play 3 (1991) implying that for the past eight years since Chucky got killed in the previous movie, nobody bothered to remove his gnarled-up mass of fleshy bleeding plastic? 

Were they too confused on what to make of it?

Night of the Glass Eyes: Tourist Trap (1979)

Tourist Trap (1979)
Rating: ****
Starring: Chuck Connors, Jocelyn Jones, Jon Van Ness

Inspired less by John Carpenter's Halloween (1978) and, instead, taking cues from Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) and Brian De Palma's Carrie (1976) (among plenty others), Tourist Trap (1979) is a slasher that defies structure and embraces nightmare logic, resulting to a surreal trip down familiar footings and then some.

When a friend fails to turn up after working on a car tire and their spare ride breaks down in the middle of an isolated countryside, a small group of youngsters foots to a nearby watering hole and garage that's also close to the titular tourist trap. There, the teens are greeted by an eccentric yet kind-looking old man named Mr. Slausen (Chuck Connors), owner of the trap which turns out to be a wax museum filled with a collection of mannequins and life-like mechanical figures made by Slausen's brother who left for the city.

The gang is allowed to hang around the museum under Slausen's approval, given that they don't leave and go snooping around the house next to them while he and another dude of their number drive off to town to find assistance. Finding Slausen to be a tad suspicious, most who remained choose to disregard the old man's request, not knowing they have sealed their fate to an unimaginable masked horror awaiting them.

Truth be told, the only flaw I endured through Tourist Trap (1979) is its slow padding moments wherein characters are either just walking around and sticking their noses in places it doesn't belong, or getting chased for the umpteenth time. It can get testy, but other than that, everything else about this movie just works.

Its meager budget may have shown the rough edges of the movie's production, but I cannot completely disregard this lack of funds as a negative aspect as it did little damage to the final product and, in some way, may have even help the story somewhat achieve a feat of creepiness and surrealism, particularly on how they utilize the simplicity of their special effects to it full unsettling potential. The worn-out and cluttered set-up of both the tourist trap and the killer's home, for example, not only boast a claustrophobic feel from the piles and piles of mannequins displayed or trashed around, but little details like the smooth gazes of the figures' glass eyes and the janky movements they do in places add an air of mocking menace and haunting uncertainty to what exactly the teens are dealing with.

Giving the killer telekinesis is a concept not often tackled in slasher movies, let alone have it leave out any solid ideas as to how they ended up with it and to what extent they can wield it. This, however, works favorably in Trap's case as the absence of background concerning the killer's psychic abilities strongly adds to the surrealism of the massacre, especially when it eventually reaches a climax where the lines of living, inanimate or dead gets blurred so bad, it's insanely delightful in its cheap yet effective execution. The kills, in turn, are an unconventional set with only a dab of blood here and there, as it focused more on the creative demises of the casts with sound design and editing helping elevate the techniques used.

More or less, Trap's strength lies more on creep factor than violence, an approach that succeeds greatly through its share of silliness that managed to double as effective eeriness, like how its own score flips from bells and whistles to exaggeratedly gasps over striking violins. It also helps that Chuck Connors does a wonder of a job conveying this tone to his scene-chewing range of personality from a calm old timer-type to a deranged man-child with godlike powers, giving little points like out-of-place cracker dinners with mannequins or the fact the killer couldn't stick to just one masks all the dinky and disturbing identity they needed.

Tourist Trap (1979) dwells openly in the unknown, fancying itself to leave its logic at the door to dish out a nightmarish story for us to enjoy. It's unique and disconcerting in all the right ways, thus a cult classic deserving of its status and that little space in our growing horror film hoard.

Bodycount:
1 male impaled by a levitating pipe
1 female strangled with a scarf
1 female had her face covered with plaster, suffocates
1 female gets a thrown knife to the back of her head
1 male killed offcamera, mannequin duplicate revealed
1 male gets an axe to the neck
Total: 6

The One With A Boring Madman Mannequin: The Tombs (2019)

The Tombs (United Kingdom, 2019)

Rating: *1/2

Starring:  Jessica Cameron, Jess Impiazzi, Akie Kotabe

Filmed at an actual haunted maze in London, The Tombs (2019) follows a group of celebrities and cast members from an in-universe slasher movie titled The, er, Tombs visiting an attraction specifically set-up to promote the movie's upcoming sequel and hopefully rile up some publicity. What they didn't know is that the haunt unknowingly unearthed the slumbering spirit of a necromancer who will stop at nothing to harvest some fresh victims, as well as find a new host to take over.

I first came upon this movie's existence all the way back at 2017 and the premise they put out then got me excited with the notion that this is going to be a haunt-set bodycounter with a supernatural robot/animatronic for a villain. I have a small soft spot for slashers set in haunts as movies like The Funhouse (1980), Dark Ride (2006) and Haunt (2019) proved to be a fun bunch so long as they utilize the settings to its full potential. Unfortunately, The Tombs failed to do this, among other unsatisfying elements.

Basically, The Tombs just feels uninspired and uncaring overall, seen evidently with its lackluster writing, unlikable characters and paperthin plot circling around the gag that these victims are unaware that the madman with the axe is killing people for real. The pace hobbles in a clumsy gait that tries to build-up to the massacre with as much cast interaction and banter as a 70 plus movie can, only to drop on us a collection of uninspired axe murders and little else to add variety. (Plus, the offscreen killings. Oh, God. The cheap trick of offscreen killings) I guess the matter of fact that this film has been crowdfunding its budget all the way back at 2015 is a tell-tale sign that its quality is going to be close to crap.

Quite a shame, really; I like the idea, but all of this is just absolute "meh" for me and it's better that I just leave it at that. The Tombs (2019) isn't bad enough to have a copy drop-kicked into a hundred pieces, but its very far from an entertainment piece that deserves even a second viewing.

 Bodycount:
1 male murdered, method unknown
2 males seen murdered
1 female killed, seen with a bloodied back
1 male hacked on the head with an axe
1 male found hacked on the face
1 female found murdered
1 male found attacked, killed later
1 female hacked to death with an axe
1 female gets a throat cut
1 male hacked to death with an axe
1 male had his neck snapped
1 female gutted with an axe
2 males and 2 females seen murdered
1 female hacked with an axe
1 male had his neck broken
1 male hacked on the gut with an axe, bled to death
1 male presumably hacked with an axe
Total: 21

A Carver And His Trees: Bump (2007 Comic)

BUMP (2007 Limited Series Comic)
Rating: ***
Author: Mark Kidwell
Artist: Mark Kidwell
Number of issues: 4

Long ago -about a decade or so- after American horror magazine company Fangoria ventured over into producing films, sponsoring conventions and running online TV and radio shows, they decided to branch out to another form of print media and out came Fangoria Comics with two of its first titles debuting in 2007. These were Beneath the Valley of The Rage, a prequel comic to a low budget 2007 zombie movie called The Rage, and the topic of today's discussion, BUMP.

Penned and drawn by Mark Kidwell of Image Comic's zombie series "'68", BUMP follows a dark-and-stormy-night situation where a family of three and a trio of teenagers get stranded in the middle of a backwoods road after a thunderstruck tree causes an accident. Looking for shelter, the six finds a nearby farmhouse occupied by a frail old lady, not knowing this is the infamous Old Dill Farmhouse where, back about 30 years ago, a serial killer named Edgar "Eddie" Dill did his gruesome deeds and was the last place he was ever seen alive at. That night, however, with new fresh victims to slaughter, Eddie returns from the grave and whatever carnage he has planned for these people, he's not doing it alone...

A mishmash of backwoods slasher roots ala Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) and violent supernatural cabin-of-horrors jigs reminiscent of The Evil Dead (1981), BUMP hails a decent concept for both a new slasher and breed of ravenous creatures, but not enough of a concrete story to make more of these beasts other than the big lug has a crusade against dirty girls and that the monsters like to rend and bite. With only four issues to run the story, I'm not really that surprised that this limited series felt like a low-budget B-flick filled with predictable tropes and momentary slow bits to loom around the more otherworldly aspects of the plot, though considering that the story does toy around with the idea of building its characters and the mythos surrounding Eddie and his army, I expected some substantial lore and world building would be at least introduced and followed through.

Truth be told, BUMP instead preferred to keep things mostly in the dark and just get into the meat of the horror as much as possible, may it be a mad slasher with a speech impediment impaling people with carving tools or wooden "Treehuggers" clawing and tearing flesh apart. It delivers on the gory art and monster violence masterfully enough through expressive character designs (Well, somewhat expressive. Half of them often drawn looking dazed for some reason...) and detailed horror sequences but, again, I really believe that the short issue run was what chipped and dented this mini-series down into a standardized but still readable horror comic when it seriously could have been better. Heck, the story doesn't even have a satisfying finale as just when you thought the plot will lead to an interesting reveal or a climatic brawl, Eddie simply stabs and hexes his way into winning at the end so abruptly, it led to a rather unearned cliffhanger that just felt lazy.

I'd heard through the grapevine that (apart that there's a failed plan on adapting this into big screen. Starring SAW series' Tobin Bell of all people) Kidwell did expanded BUMP's story through his own novelization and I do hope I will get my hands on a copy one day. Again, the story has potential to be a fun B-Grade horror piece that I'm earnest will be more enjoyable if its flaws were fixed so here's hoping that the book will be (hopefully is) an improvement. Until then, this is a comic that I could love for its simple entertainment but ironically hate for its shortcuts and wasted opportunities. Nuff' said.

Bodycount:
1 male gutted with a knife
1 boy possessed, mangled from the inside
1 female ran through with an old hand drill
1 elderly female pushed through a window, impaled on the neck with a glass shard
1 male mauled to pieces
1 male mauled apart
1 female caught in a gas explosion
1 male ran through with an old hand drill
1 male possessed, mangled from the inside
1 male killed offscreen
Total: 10

You Are My Buddi: Child's Play (2019)

Child's Play (2019)
Rating: ***1/2
Starring: Aubrey Plaza, Mark Hamill, Gabriel Bateman

When I first heard about the talks regarding a then-possible Child's Play reboot, you can bet your ass that I was among the plenty who found the idea problematic as not only is the original franchise still active, but I really doubt there's a high demand for a re-imagining. Then again, the last we saw of Chucky have the killer toy possessing not only three to four (count it, three to four!) Good Guy dolls at the same time through a voodoo spell he found at a website, but also the body of a paraplegic girl who he miraculously cured into walking. Yeah, hard to follow if yet gonna jump right into it without knowing what happened in the previous titles, so I guess a fresh take might not be such a bad idea...

In this reboot, a multinational electronics corporation known as Kaslan developed a self-learning AI doll known as Buddi, packed with features including audio and video recording, syncing with other Kaslan products and controlling them to fit their owners' needs, and move by themselves for maximum playtime. In other words, a robot servant with an animatronic face, one bad programming away from going haywire.

And as you would have it, on a dark and stormy night all the way at a Vietnam-based Buddi assembly factory, a disgruntled worker reprograms a random doll by removing all of its safety features as revenge for being fired and as a secretive last minute "fuck you" to the company before committing suicide.

Cut to Chicago some time later, young mom Karen Barclay and her 13 years old hearing-impaired son Andy just moved to the busy city neighborhood, with Karen working a frustrating retail job at a store selling Kaslan goods while Andy spends most of his days inside the apartments watching Youtube videos. Rightfully concerned about her son's lack of social skills and believing Andy's just exhausted from the move, Karen decided to gift him one day an early birthday present; a defective Buddi doll she got under the table. (My guess its the same one from the Vietnam sweatshop. I dunno why, perhaps something about its eyes mentioned glowing red...)

At first, Andy isn't quite keen on having his own Buddi doll coming from the fact that he is in his preteens and that the doll itself is pretty glitchy as it names itself Chucky, fails to follow a few simple orders and, more or less, just creepy. But as time flies by, Andy grew to like having Chucky around since his glitches left him capable of doing anything without much limitations like learning swear words and enjoy pranking jerks and creeps surrounding Andy's life. This soon caught the attention of local kids Falyn and Pugg, who eventually befriend Andy and all seems well.

That is until Chucky starts getting too attached to Andy, harming those who physically and emotionally hurt the boy to an increasingly worrying degree. When Karen's arse of a boyfriend got abusive during one visit, things quickly escalates to bloody ends and Andy is left face to face with the matter that his Buddi have gone psycho when it gifted him one morning the freshly flayed face of his mom's boyfriend. (Nailed on a melon for some reason)

What soon follows is your simple stroll down cheesy slasher bodycounting mixed with obsessive stalker horror as Chucky do away more and more people (and animals) who it deem unfit to be Andy's friend or family, a complete contrast to our OG Chucky's modus wherein the voodoo practicing serial killing doll murders for the reason that he simply can. This makes Buddi Chucky more empathetic and sympathetic for his misguided and eventually hate-fueled attempts to become Andy's one and only companion, a fresh take that thankfully kept the destructive, maniacal and fun cheesy horror of watching a tiny killer toy in action after taking its time building up a surprisingly adorable and genuinely warm relationship between Andy and Chucky.

From what I can tell, Child's Play (2019) works greatly thanks to the committed performances of its strong cast. Mark Hamill steps in as the voice behind this movie's Chucky and his take on the guy is just wonderful, may it be voicing the doll's joyful and often misconceived innocence or spiteful jealousy and anger. Gabriel Bateman as this film's more angsty preteen Andy hits the cards right as a child hero bottled with insecure frustrations for all the bad turns in his life so far, struggling to resolve as many on his own to the best of his abilities. These two are on screen the most and their relationship as unlikely friends to sudden AI monster-and-hapless victim is the glue that kept this movie interesting, a fact that I'm sure that would have fair better if it also took the time to build around other characters including Andy's mother (played by Aubrey Plaza with a young parent spunk) and her douchey boyfriend Shane, a neighboring detective with a sassy yet adorable elderly mother and, probably the most unfairly under-explored set of characters that I wanted to see more of, Andy's new friends Fayln and Pugg. (Especially Pugg. Pugg is funny awesome!)

Looking further into it, the story is predictable at best, echoing the hammy B-grade horror and silly entertainment of late 80s and early 90s scifi slashers like Chopping Mall (1986) and Ghost In The Machine (1993), but that didn't hinder Child's Play (2019) from making the best out of its AI-gone-evil direction, Buddi Chucky's very "uncanny valley" animatronic design and movements (which do warrant some time and patience getting used to. Especially the weird E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) influence to his design) an obvious product of this techno-horror route. Little to no horror was actually seen around the early bits of the plot, only hinting the downside behind the science of artificial life only when necessary for that effective foreshadowing and cathartic curveball before kicking it into full bloody bodycounting mode for all things grisly for the second half, peppered with some humorous Hitchcockian bits.

And for whatever it's worth, Child's Play (2019)'s murder set are gory, bloody and darkly funny at times, with the film's supermarket carnage of a climax probably standing out as one of this franchise's more exciting scene, utilizing the Buddi doll's feature to control other electronic goods to slice and dice shopping patrons before jogging back to your classic mano-a-monster finale. It might not be groundbreaking, but the film melds its now-charming-next-terrifying character relations with tech horror and slasher grue prodigiously well, and its polished production value and overall watchable talents make this reboot all that witty, messy and warmly welcomed as this year's decent cinematic surprises.

So if you're a wee bit concerned, don't be: Child's Play (2019) is its own monster and a great one at that. Count it as a spiritual companion piece to the original Chucky franchise if you may and just enjoy our new best Buddi at his best. And worst.

Bodycount:
1 male jumps to his death
1 cat found murdered
1 male had his scalp shredded off with a tiller, knifed to death
1 male bisected groin first through a table saw, leg cut off
1 female knifed on the chest
1 male knifed on the neck, throat further sliced through a drone's propeller
1 female seen slaughtered
1 male seen attacked by a toy bear
1 female seen attacked by a toy bear
1 male dragged away, killed by a toy bear
Total: 10

The Massachusetts Home Horror: Ghosthouse (1988)

Ghosthouse (Italy, 1988) (AKA "La Casa 3")
Rating: ***
Starring: Lara Wendel, Greg Rhodes, Mary Sellers

Ghosthouse (1988) is something you would get when a haunted house movie like, let's say, Poltergeist (1982) suddenly gets a body count under the direction of a bad slasher flick only Italians can conjure up in the late 80s. (For this movie's case, producer Joe "Antropophagus (1980)" D’Amato and director Umberto "Cannibal Ferox (1981)" Lenzi. Which should mean we would be seeing a lot of batshit insanity you thought only exists in your wildest fever dreams. Gods help us)

We start this cluster of madness with a girl murdering a cat offcamera in her family's basement, with pops eventually finding out and punishing his spawn by locking her up down there until she learns what she did is cruel and wrong. What follows is a double murder perpetrated by a mostly unseen ghoul with rotten hands, hacking the father's head with a hatchet while his dear wife gets an exploding mirror to the face before being throated with a knife.

Twenty years, ham radio enthusiast Paul tells his girlfriend Martha about the strange signals he have been getting from his equipment, which mostly consists of repetitive carnival music, odd chanting and a couple of people screaming. They soon figure out the location of where the screams are originating from, by which one car ride and one annoying encounter with a hitcher later reveals to be the same -and now dilapidated- house where the opening double murder was committed.

There the two encounter a band of four teenagers, out for your typical horror film road trip and two of whom sounding much alike the screamers from Paul's mysterious radio audio. Now dead curious of what's going on, the two parties decided to help each other out and uncover the truth behind the odd screamings, consequently leading to some weird hauntings involving ghost hounds, stretchy explosive bottles and an evil clown doll, as well as murderous groundskeepers, knife-wielding death specters and a killer electric fan.

As with most guilty pleasure movies, Ghosthouse's a whole lot like a double edge sword; on one end, you have this thing that's not all too well put together and feels more like a hodge-podge of supposedly scary scenes done with the feistiest cheese and questionable (and I think mostly dubbed) acting. Cliches upon cliches of horror tropes are to be expected, from the creaky dark Gothic houses and people investigating weird noises alone only to get murdered, to bloody faucets and a creepy doll and girl combo, while weird scripts make their way through thespians with lines like " You should believe in ghosts, pea-brain". (To be fair, it WAS (again) the 80s) It makes Ghosthouse tedious to watch, honestly, taking a good toll on any of its attempt to build atmosphere and suspense, but the silliness of it all does work in the movie's favor through another angle. The so-bad-its-entertaining angle.

When Ghosthouse goes for the ghoulish and brutal, may it be a bisection from random guillotines or an acid bath that somehow found its way underneath a house, it goes for it with a gut and a sense of energy and creativity to make itself worthwhile after each of its slow moments, leading itself to a fair killcount. At the times it is not violating our screens with gruesome deaths, in turn, Ghosthouse puts its randomness to good use by treating its audience with a cavalcade of  "scares" mostly borrowed from more well known supernatural horror movies like The Amityville Horror (1979) and The Omen (1976), dated and hammy for its effects but laughably fine for good fun.

The film's cinematography effectively captures the moody ghoulishness of its fever dream-like plot, though I find the accompanying composed score to be, while effective when timed properly, a bit repetitive and bordering annoying, particularly the case with the unholy backmasked carnival music emitted by the clown doll. Still, Ghosthouse (1988) is a passable entry to the late 80s incoherent cheesefest that is Italian horror, one that finds a welcoming home among horror fans as a fan favorite midnight movie haunting their video collection. Or late night cable viewing. Far from a masterpiece, but entertaining either way.

Bodycount:
1 cat had its throat cut with a pair of scissors offscreen
1 male had his head split open with a hatchet
1 female gets pinned to a door with a knife through her throat
1 male gets a projected fan blade slice through his throat
1 girl mentioned found left for dead inside a cellar
1 male brained with a hammer, left for dead inside a coffin
1 female chopped in half by a guillotine
1 male found hanged
1 male found dead with a head wound
1 male repeatedly stabbed in the back with a pair of garden shears
1 male hit by an incoming bus
Total: 11

So, It's Finally October Again...

You know what that means?

Somebody should make that Mr. Chuckle Teeth doll a real thing! Like, mass produced and stuff. Y'know, for 

         ?

I can't wait~