Starring: Ruby Larocca, Ford Austin and Brian Gunnoe
After the offscreen murder of our opening gal, we're treated to a heavy metal opening theme song specifically made for the film. (Unless you know any other songs out there that sings "Porkchop" like a National Anthem) and put us back to familiar territories: stereotyped teenagers, in the woods, camping, fucking, eating, drinking. The only thing new here is the inclusion of
Yes, you heard me. It even scored a gal while we're at it.
And of course we have our killer, Porkchop, whose legacy is told in typical campfire folk-legend fashion being that he was once a boy who loved, lusted and killed for a pig before disappearing into the woods. So when one of the drunken boys stumbles upon his home, our bad piggy goes to work and he's doing it with style and flair so familiar.
Porkchop has the so-bad-it's-funny thing going from the very beginning with intentional (?) bad-acting but as our campers go further into the woods, I begin to see all the opportunities this film missed to be anything but forgettable; it's weird enough to be satisfying and the story is easy to follow, but it also has the case of overcooked mozzarella. Some of the jokes just fall flat and sometimes venture too much into the weird. Trying to be funny isn't bad, it would have saved the film actually, but it's when they're forcing it to be funny by dousing it with enough cheese to drown a horde of rats that I'll beg to question. It's either that or the fact that the low-budget gets in the way too many times as the audio often fades away that we could barely understand what's going on, the camera tricks exposes too much of its low-budget nature (if the car's supposed to be moving, then why aren't the trees moving behind them?), or that the editing is unskilled.
1 male had his head split with spear
1 female killed with spear
1 male brained with crocket mallet
1 female gets a knife to the face
1 robot hacked to pieces with axe (if it fucks, I'm counting it...)
1 (pregnant) female gets a chainsaw to the arse
1 unborn baby falls from from mutilated womb
1 male gets a dart thrown to his head
1 male set ablaze