Is Mac and Cheese A Side Dish or A Main?: The Blackening (2022)

The Blackening (2022)

Rating: ***1/2

Starring: Grace Byers, Jermaine Fowler, Melvin Gregg

For the longest time, the whole trope of Black characters dying first in horror movies baffled me since, being a guy obsessed with slasher films, I can only count maybe five titles out of hundred-ish wherein this instance holds true. (New Year's Evil (1980), Alone in the Dark (1982), Slaughter High (1986), A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988), and Scream 2 (1997), to name a few) I now understand that this is more of a stab at the token minority trope, a problematic movie practice of sacrificing characters of certain ethnicities to the threat as bodycount fodder and/or motivation for the hero (typically a white male) to do better in saving the day. Over the years, through social push, more big-name Black actors are given more access to show off their talents, resulting to horror legends like the late-Tony Todd, Ken Foree, and Keith David, as well as modern horror creators like Jorden Peele and Misha Green, gracing the screen with a great deal of prominent Black characters in memorable leading roles.

With this turn, the "Black guy dies first" trope is occasionally uttered around nowadays as a tongue-in-cheek joke. The same kind of cheekiness that gets us fun and silly terror flicks like this house-in-the-woods survival slasher, The Blackening (2022)!

It's a Juneteenth weekend and a group of old college friends are meeting up for the first time after ten years; the assortment includes gal pals Lisa (Antoinette Robertson) and Allison (Grave Byers), and their gay bestie Dewayne (Dewayne Perkins); hunky African-descent Nnamdi (Sinqua Walls) and his former-gangster bro King (Melvin Gregg); life-of-the-party Shanika (X Mayo) and incredibly nerdy Clifton (Jermaine Fowler). They're all invited to a vacation house in the middle of the woods by their friends Shawn and Morgan, who are suspiciously missing the moment they arrived. Nonetheless, the gang starts celebrating like any people in backwoods slashers would, with a whole lot of Spades, diabetic Kool-Aid and a side of troublesome fling that may or may not open old heartbreaks. 

The good times can only go so long before the lights suddenly go out and, on their search to get the power back on, the group stumbles upon a hidden room full of board games. Including an obscenely racist-looking one called "The Blackening", consisting of question cards, a grinning Sambo fella on the middle of the board and, curious enough, game pieces seemingly made based on their specific personalities. When the game centerpiece starts asking them to pick a card and play, this is when things get really screwed up as everybody finds out that Shawn is dead and Morgan is about to be tortured by a masked killer somewhere inside the house. Making matters worse is the game room is rigged close and the only way everyone to get out alive is to beat the The Blackening, or die trying!

Keeping the record straight, The Blackening (2022) is less a horror-comedy and more of a comedy with horror elements. Yes, there are kills and killers, a sense of stake, and a mystery as to who is behind this entire bloody fiasco, though the approach taken here leans closer to satirizing slasher tropes through the eyes of sharply witty and street smart African-Americans. Think a Halloween episode of The Boondocks, only feature length and with a killer masked up to look like a damn minstrel show. This certainly meant that the movie has little in the sense of blood, tension and scares, but the unapologetic energy of its writing and characters when it comes to poking fun at horror tropes, as well as showcasing jokes outside of the horror spectrum, is incredibly infectious down to the funny bones! (A running gag involving conversations through eye contact only being my favorite!) 

A good deal of this workability stems from the incredible chemistry and performances the entire casts have, from the hearty humor surrounding around Lisa and Dewayne's friendship jeopardized by Lisa's love for Nnamdi, to the no-nonsense loudness of Shanika and Carlton's cringe-inducing awkwardness. Their reaction to the bloodshed practically lampoons the roles of Black people in horror media, mainly being quippy, lucky and even straightforward enough to actually best the killer in a lot of encounters despite some painful, embarrassing, and painfully embarrassing blowbacks on their part. (Splitting up. Accidentally hurting themselves with their weapons. Getting high on Molly while being hunted down. Y'know, the usual backwoods horror theatrics) Interestingly, it is through this lampooning that The Blackening (2022) also took its chances to examine how modern culture and its many attempts to define ethnic communities led to harmful judgement within these circles, a lot of it light-heartedly addressed during the times the friends are forced to play The Blackening and test their Black-ness, only to later resurface as a motive in this movie's plot twist. While nowhere a grandeur deconstruction, it is an intriguing insight to pull within the movie's remarkably coherent humor.

The Blackening (2022) is, without a doubt, very "Black" and I just love it for that! It may not do much as a horror flick, but as silly fun little movie you can sit back and relax to, it's a whole party, baby! So grab some Rap Chips, down some King's Kool-Aid, and treat yourself with this roaring riot of a comedy slasher!

Bodycount:

1 male shot on the neck with a crossbow

1 female killed offscreen

1 male repeatedly stabbed with arrow heads

1 male shot through the neck with a crossbow

1 male had his head pulped with a candlestick, stomped dead

1 male shot with a crossbow, kicked into a well (?)

Total: 6 (?)

Feeling A Little Devilish: Hell Of A Summer (2023)

Hell Of A Summer (2023)

Rating: ***
Starring: Adam Pally, Rosebud Baker, Fred Hechinger

At age 24, Jason Hochberg (Fred Hechinger) could have been working a real job. One that probably pays more than a hundred bucks a week. But, no, he prefers to cling on to an adolescent happy place and accept a lead camp counselor gig at his childhood Summer haven, Camp Pineway, after the owners have to take a leave of absence. Genuinely thrilled by this, Jason went on and about trying to befriend the latest turnover of young camp counselors, who are more or less your walking and breathing killcount tropes, only coated here with a fresh paint of Gen Z-stereotyping. Needless to say, Jason's overly-friendly approach to be one with the teen clutter is mostly taken with an awkward stance and a chuckle, maybe a couple of eyerolls at its worse, but this will drastically go South later that evening when someone in a handcrafted devil mask starts to hack aspiring social influencers dead inside their cabins, as well as decapitate vocal vegans with a mean meat cleaver, among many other gruesome bodily atrocities...

It's a backwoods slasher plot as old as time, though the direction and tone here is noticeably more focused on the coming-of-age comedy than throwing dismembered limbs on the air for a splatter-fest. A lot of the jokes and dialogue centers on the generational clash between Jason and the group of junior counselors who would rather speak about meat being murder, gathering online clout, or practicing their death shrieks for a stage play they're working on; occasionally, it's cute and worth the little giggle here and there for how cleverly written and edited some of these sequences are, though a few did fall flat, fumbling whatever gag they're building to, making the whole teen camp comedy angle a hit-or-miss. That said, though, it would be a disservice to the actors to not at least credit their talents as they did manage to pull off the one-note ridiculousness of their characters, yet still making them likeable enough to feel sorry for whenever they're in trouble. May it be from the killer, or their own stupidity. 

For the slasher side of things, it started strongly with two gruesome murders involving a guitar and a knife murder that's executed oh so deliciously, only for it to take a backseat until halfway into the movie when it makes a clumsy comeback; while it has its share of splashy kills like a gnarly axe to the head and a brutal rock beating, its more novel deaths were only teased such as the killer taking a mean-spirited advantage on a victim's nut allergy by dipping their knife in a jar of peanut butter first, though rather than showing the dirty deed, the next thing we see is the poor shmuck's lifeless red-faced body being dragged out. It's kinda frustrating, though not as frustrating as the killer's overused motive of doing it because of a sociopathic need to have eyes and ears on them, though I'll give credit to the twist reveal as I honestly didn't see it coming, plus I do dig the gradeschool craft devil mask and cloak combo! In the end, we're treated with a passable enough final act that ties things as neatly as a standard backwoods slashers would and it's, well, fine.

Hell of a Summer (2023) doesn't really need to much to be entertaining. Dare I say it's actually halfway being a decent backwoods bodycounter you can pop in anytime for a simple fun watch, but it held off a bit on the carnage and sets its gums on a more comical venture that only partially works. The end product is a half-and-half attempt, but, frankly, it could have been worse. So much worse.

Bodycount:

1 male found with his mouth impaled with a guitar neck

1 female stabbed in the head with a hunting knife

1 female hacked with a meat cleaver, head found in a refrigerator

1 male stabbed with a peanut butter-tainted kitchen knife, dies from allergic shock

1 female knifed in the back, beaten with a rock

1 male hacked in the head with an axe

1 male stabbed in the neck with a swiss army knife

1 female gets an arrow shot to an eye, stomped

Total: 8

The Douche Who Cried Axe: #ChadGetsTheAxe (2022)

#ChadGetsTheAxe (2022)

Rating: ***1/2

Starring: Spencer Harrison Levin, Michael Bonini, Taneisha Figueroa

Personally, I see fame as more of a bother than a benefit. Sure, you get the riches and recognition, but it comes with the pressure of meeting people's expectations and this often comes with the price of one's self-respect and decency. When fame becomes an obsession for clout, this need for attention can spiral towards notoriety and you'll become trouble. Or be troubled.

Though, I don't believe getting troubled by an axe-wielding maniac is something a fame-hungry moron would need to worry about. 

That much.

Based on a 2019 short film of the same title, #ChadGetsTheAxe (2022) follows vlogger "Spicy Steve" (Michael Bonini), couple Jennifer and Spencer (Taneisha Figueroa and Cameron Vitosh) of the beauty blog 'Spennifer", and uber-popular prankster Chad Ryan (Spencer Harrison Levin) plan a collaborative urban exploration video and stream for the weekend. The place they'll be exploring is one Devil's Manor, a dilapidated backwoods property near a swamp, which is said to be the hotspot of supposed cult activities around the area as a Satanist named William Burrows did have a mass murdering spree there many years ago. The night goes as you would expect it being populated by social media celebrities; they explore the manor while responding to comments, advertise their merch once in a while, and do obnoxious dares whenever their view count reaches a certain number. (One of which echoes the real life sickening stunt influencer Logan Paul did during his visit to Mount Aokigahara)

The fun times could only last long before things start to get unnerving; when one of them gets attacked, it's very well clear then that somebody else is inside the manor. Someone masked up, wielding an axe and not too pleased to have these people roaming around. Chad, unsurprisingly, is ready to dismiss this as a prank plotted by fellow pranksters until, that is, more of his friends disappear and all that's left for the mysterious masked maniac to hunt is him...

Shot through the rarely used Screenlife format, wherein we see the action unfold through the screen of a device via apps and sites (think Unfriended (2014), Spree (2020) and Deadstream (2022)), #ChadGetsTheAxe (2022) gets the benefit of being fun by satirizing the many stereotypes of click chasers while delivering a good dose of creepy imagery and set-pieces. It doesn't waste time getting into the main event, almost immediately throwing the streamers into the supposed haunted manor and simply letting the story develop as it goes by, showing us just what kind of people behind the camera phones are as the situation gravely escalates, as well as the reaction of the community they are catering to. The direction is pretty spot on to what we would normally expect from a weekend night stream hosted by an appalling content creator, pure unhinged and aggravating debauchery, and director Travis Bible practically knows we're here to see these idiots get their comeuppance for giving in to the almighty viewer count at the cost of common sense and a soul. Happy to say, we get what we came to see!

One by one, our streamers are picked off, a few clearly axed dead. Whenever #ChadGetsTheAxe (2022) slides in a creepy scene and build-up, it's all done with a straight face that's greatly effective. The villain doesn't ham it up, making their murderous assaults often jarring, even more so when the story finds opportunities to shed a sympathetic light on the victims, such as moments of clarity among the creators when some of them recognize how messed up the gags and situation are becoming, or slices of commentary on the unhealthy relationship between creators and their fanbases. It's not overly scary, per se, as the film still has its focus more on humor than frights, but it's a satisfying watch as the stalk-and-hunt onslaught with Burrows and his axe add weight to the horror side of this horror-comedy. 

This all leads to a third act where the story puts the hurt on Chad as he becomes an unwilling final boy dodging a masked killer's axe swings. He gets stalked through the woods, his means for escape repeatedly thwarted, and his cries for help dismissed by most of his viewers as either a joke, or just something they can cruelly exploit for fun. It's both cathartic and pathetic, impressively working both in a balance as we see this guy who spent most of his onscreen time being noisome reduced to a helpless whelp, more so on the movie's final act as a good twist reveals a hopeless situation hinted in a blink-and-you-miss moment in the chat. The end result is a grimly satisfying end full of desperation, axe falls and blood flowing on a live stream.

#ChadGetsTheAxe (2022) can be a little rough on the edges, but it understands the culture of online clout and the toxic people surrounding it. It uses those to its advantage, crafting a smart, funny and creepy backwoods slasher that shouldn't work, but did! Chad got the axe and I'm glad to have seen it!

Bodycount:

1 male body found rotting

1 male hacked with an axe

1 male hacked with an axe

1 male killed offscreen with an axe

1 female hacked with an axe

1 male killed offscreen with an axe

1 male hacked with an axe

Total: 7

The Morbid Pursuit Of The Art Of Murder: R.S.V.P. (2002)

R.S.V.P. (2002)
Rating: ***1/2
Starring: James M. Churchman, Sharon Bruneau, Scott Workman

Picture Alfred Hitchcock's Rope (1948) reimagined as a slasher, written by Kevin Smith and featuring Patrick Bateman from American Psycho (2000) as the killer. This is what R.S.V.P. (2002) is, for better or worse.

Criminology student Nick 'The Prick' Collier (Rick Otto) is hosting a leaving party for his friend Jimmy (Lucas Babin), as the guy prepares to relocate with his girlfriend Jordan (Brandi Andres), who happens to be Nick's ex. One by one, the guests arrive, consisting of their friends (among them Jason Mewes of Jay & Silent Bob fame playing a stoner, because of course), Jimmy's family, as well as their professor, Hal Evans (Glenn Quinn), and it's mostly fun and games with a bit of tarot card reading, weed smoking and cocktail mixing. There is also Hal's discussions circling around the idea of murder being an art form, something that puts plenty of the partygoers on a sour mood seeing how passionate, borderline obsessed he is about it. 

And there's the matter of Jimmy not showing up to his own party which is starting to worry some of the guests. Not to mention Nick acting a little suspicious about a particular piece of decorative chest in the living room. Needless to say, something is very off about the party and things are about to get way worse when Nick begins murdering away one unfortunate soul at a time, seemingly inspired by the very atrocities he learned studying serial killers...

Rather than your routine stalk-and-stab, R.S.V.P. (2002) has its focus more on dark humor and trenchant characters, often delving into situational comedy territory following Nick's attempt to juggle running a party, killing off the guests and then hiding away the bodies just to keep things running as smoothly as he plans it. We're pretty much in on the joke and, frankly, it is a intriguing set-up for a slasher, more so a homage to Rope (1948), as the plot keeps a constant academic yet reckless angle on the murders, mostly within dialogues shared between Nick and Prof. Evans as they pretentiously yet captivatingly run their mouths toward philosophizing serial killing, all in the midst of good acting and writing. It's without a doubt this movie's engaging highlight, though this does mean it can get a bit talky and flaunty in its direction.

The kills themselves have little blood to speak of, preferring showy deaths than over-the-top splatter which may drive away gorehounds, though the film makes up for it with flashy effects and editing, as well as a lot of quirky scenes of our killer finding fun ways to dispose the guests and the troublesome tasks of storing away the remains right after. It isn't long before we're back with the usual slasher climax of a final girl fending off the villain, though this one comes with a rather amusing confession as Nick points out the absurdity of serial killers always needing an alibi for their massacres, and how his killing spree is brag-worthy different as he did it because he simply could. The oddity of it all continues to the film's last few scenes, wherein our survivors relax with a roll of joint after defeating the killer, capping off that night's dreadful experience by stating the dilemma of them needing new friends to hang out with now. It's dumb but, hey, it could be so much worse.

R.S.V.P. (2002) is weird, but it's the agreeable kind of weird! Ostentatious, sure, but it makes for a quaint and eccentric watch! 

Bodycount:

1 male stabbed in the gut with a knife

1 female knifed to death, blood splash seen

1 female brained with a cane

1 male kicked down an elevator shaft

1 female had her neck snapped

1 male shot with a nailgun

1 female shot to death with a nailgun

1 male strangled to death with a guitar string

1 female drowned in a pot of boiling water

1 male stuffed inside a chest, suffocated

1 male found dead inside a garbage bag

1 male shot, stabbed with a broken bong

1 male knocked off a building, lands on a parked car

Total: 13

We Are The Monsters, Babes: Get Away (2024)

Get Away (United Kingdom, 2024)
Rating: ***1/2

Starring: Nick Frost, Aisling Bea, Maisie Ayres

For the Smiths - Daddy Richard (Nick Frost), Mummy Susan (Aisling Bea), and angsty teen siblings Jessie (Maisie Ayres) and Sam (Sebastian Croft) - their holiday vacation to the small Swedish island of Svälta is the bonding experience they need as a family, especially when the divergent dynamics between the parents and the kids make a lot of conversations and activities awkward. The people they come across along the way, though, thinks their plan to visit and stay on Svälta is a terrible idea as the mainlanders there, lead by an ill-tempered crone (Anita Suikkari), doesn't take too kindly to outsiders, especially when their Karantan festival is nearing, celebrating a 19th century British-led massacre that drove its survivors into cannibalism.

And, to no one's surprise, the islanders aren't too pleased to see the family, even more so when they learn that one of Susan's ancestors took part of the massacre and she trivializes their traditions as a simple show to be gawked at. It isn't long before the residents of Svälta start showing up in the middle of the night wearing folk masks and tossing dead animals at the house the Smiths rented, not to mention the odd creaking noises coming from somewhere inside said house and the troubling sight of enough coffins for four being loaded onto boats. Believing the unwanted arrivals are a sign, the island elders ponder on the possibility to do a proper Karantan, a chance to resurrect a dormant tradition involving murder and the taste of fresh human flesh...

For the first hour, Get Away (2024) clashes the likes of folk horror inspired by movies such as The Wicker Man (1973) and Midsommar (2019), with the bumbling comedy of a family under constant confrontations and awkward situations just trying to get through their holiday by being as polite as possible, to the point many obvious red flags are ignored. While some of the jokes are a hit-or-miss with its tired jabs at vegan diets or culture clashes, the story itself is made tolerable by the entertainingly dysfunctional interactions of the Smiths as they get on each other's nerves, but open to surprisingly wholesome moments like Richard sharing his youthful experience with recreational weed with his daughter, or chuckle-worthy conversations about moist waffles during a family breakfast. 

The islanders, sadly, didn't get the same in-depth treatment considering most of them are portrayed as one-note fodder, filling out backgrounds as angry locals glaring daggers and being rude to the Smiths. The only one with any real sense of character is the head Svälta elder, who passionately believes the community she leads has lost its edge over the years, that it's about time they go back and hold the Karantan as it is intended to be, a gory vengeful act upon those who wrong them. We also got one Matts Larsson (Eero Milonoff), who owns the house the Smiths are renting and hinted to have something sinister planned for the family, though he's practically reduced to a creeper with a fetish for lingerie and voyeurism, spending his time on the movie being just pervertedly gross and upsetting. 

With only so much material to work around the premise of a hapless family butting heads with angry Swedes, the pacing did get a tad draggy near the film's climax, though this is remedied greatly by Get Away (2024)'s third and final act; without giving away much, let's just say the promised massacre did happen, just not in the way you may have expected. It's a killing spree that saved the movie for me, the sheer lunacy and maniac energy of it all bringing out a dementedly dark humor as the killers hack, stab, gut and decapitate everyone on sight, all the while sharing homely banter and playful teasing, reminiscing about old times and even sing gentle lovelies with one another. Some unfortunates do fight back, even managing to land a jab or two against the maniacs, which keeps the slaying fields all fair and fun, as well as interesting down to the cornball finale. This abrupt turn on who the prey and predators are may not sit well for some folks, but you got to hand it to the film, it's a very good twist on the account of all the shocks and surprises!

From cult-like folk horror to berserker slasher, all done with a British tongue pressed firmly against a cheek, Get Away (2024) may have its shortcomings, but the pay off in the end makes sitting through it worth every minute! Patient gorehounds be delighted!

Bodycount:

1 female stabbed in the neck with a kitchen knife

1 male stabbed in the neck with a kitchen knife

1 male knifed to death

1 male seen dying from a head wound

1 male seen murdered

1 male stabbed in the gut with a butterfly knife 

1 male knifed in the temple

1 female had her throat slashed with daggers

1 male stabbed in the chest with a push knife

4 victims seen dead

1 male gets a thrown hatchet to the back

1 female knifed in the gut

1 male seen being hacked to death

1 victim knifed in the head

1 female slashed across with a knife

1 female repeatedly knifed, ran through with a pike

1 male seen on fire

1 male seen being stabbed to death

1 female slashed across with a razor

1 male decapitated with a sword

1 male ran through with a sword

1 male stabbed to death

1 male knifed in the neck

1 victim seen on fire

5 heads seen 

1 male seen dead from a head wound 

1 male had his throat slashed with a knife

1 female had her head blown off with a shotgun

1 male shot to death

Total: 36

Bloody Hell Of A Retreat: The Cabining (2014)

The Cabining (2014)

Rating: ***

Starring: Mike Kopera, Bo Keister, Angela Relucio

With their recent slasher treatment scoffed down as tired and mediocre, as well as a looming long overdue rent threatening to kick them out on the street, horror screenwriters Todd and Bruce are desperately in need of an inspired terror tale to wow interested buyers and where else should they find said inspiration other than Shangri-La, weekend cabin retreat designed to help artistic types get their juices flowing.

Only, shortly after they arrive, the other artists staying there start to die in mysterious circumstances, a lot of which seems to be whenever a certain oddball sculptor named Jasper is around. The cops mostly disregard these deaths as accidents and Shangri-La's rather lax host dismisses the notion that Jasper could harm anyone. (Even though the guy carries a machete and casually bags a decapitated head) Then again, it's not like he's the only suspicious fella in the cabin; Todd's growing impatience and desperation appear to hint a shortening fuse that's about to go full murder, and then there's Bruce's overly jovial outlook on these recent string of dead people piling up...

The Cabining (2014) is, admittedly, one of those movies that you're not really going to lose sleep over, but it does enough right to be at least worth a look. For one, the two main leads simply carried the film with their frustrated yet cordial chemistry, as Mike Kopera's Todd, being the geeky yet responsible type, mostly just tagging along with the more outgoing and positive Bo Keister's Bruce to make sure his bestfriend-slash-idea guy doesn't end up in deep trouble. (Or will become the trouble) The two are portrayed as absolute chums and I love how natural they play their banter despite the clashing ideas and ideals, overlooking some questionable moments wherein Bruce can be a tad much with his misplaced positivity and flirty attempts, so much so that it borderlines suspicious along side comical.

As a slasher, The Cabining (2014) does lean closer towards a whodunit murder mystery than actual stalk-and-stab, with victims being discovered horrifically snuffed out by seemingly (and not so seemingly) accidental deaths, all the while the surviving cabin guests are trying to figure out who among them could be the killer. (Or, perhaps, find enough damning proof that the really eccentric sculptor is the murderer among them) A lot of the kills are offcamera due to this direction, but there's enough gnarly practical and make-up effects done for the resulting corpses, giving us a fair share of gory eye candy. There's also a semi-decent twist somewhere at the last third of the film, a bit of it kinda obvious but countered fairly by a villain reveal I never really saw coming. I would have liked the movie a lot more if it ended on this silly yet dark and gutsy note but, instead, it pulled off one more curveball under our noses. One that opted for a final scare before going down on a saccharine good note that felt overly rushed and sudden, hardly bringing up a solid motive behind the actual killer's murder spree, even. It could have been better but, also, could have been worse. Way worse. 

What could have been a dime-in-a-dozen backwoods slasher, The Cabining (2014) pulled some extra punches to do a little better and the result is, while not exceedingly phenomenal, admirable to say the least. Polished and written effectively as a horror comedy indie, try this one for the giggles!

Bodycount:

1 female found landed mouth-first on a tree root, head impaled

1 male head found

1 male overdoses on heart medication

1 male found killed by a triggered log trap

1 female found knifed on the back

1 male found dead with a hammer claw to the eye

1 female stabbed in the eye with a fountain pen

1 male ran through the back with a kitchen knife

Total: 8 

Shattered Glass At Midnight: Cinderella's Revenge (2024)

Cinderella's Revenge (United Kingdom, 2024)

Rating: **

Starring: Lauren Staerck, Natasha Henstridge, Stephanie Lodge

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far far away, there's a man who got himself framed for stealing the king's priceless jewels. A bounty gets put on his head and his wife, the heartless wench, is happy to help herself to said bounty. So she hired men to do the dirty deed of murdering him for the reward money, leaving the man's daughter, Cinderella, under the mercy of her stepmother and two stepdaughters who eagerly enslave and abuse her in many painful ways just because they can.

Some time passes and kingdom holds a royal ball, a gathering Cinderella is ordered by her stepfamily not to attend, otherwise a very severe punishment will be upon her for disobeying. Pushed to the limits of the cruelty she is subjected to, Cinderella begs whoever can hear for at least a night to attend this ball just so she could be happy in her troubled life for once. And very fortunately for her, the wish is heard and answered by a witty, benevolent and sassy fairy godmother, who is more than willing to bend the laws of time and space to bring in some top men from the 20th century such as designer Tom Ford, hairstylist Vidal Sassoon and footwear extraordinaire Christian Louboutin to help pizzazz the girl up from drab to fab~! 

Cinderella gets driven to the ball by Elon Musk and his Tesla, dances with the dashing prince who fell in love with her at first sight (much to the dismay of her stepmum and stepsisters), but she has to leave before midnight as the magic used to grant her wish can only last that long. A glass slipper gets left behind. The prince finds it and sends his people across the land to seek its owner. You know where this is headed...

...Except, not really: the next day, one of the prince's men makes their way to Cinderella's abode looking for the owner of the glass slipper, forcing her wicked stepfamily to bound her shut and lock her up inside one of the rooms while they try and fail to make the slipper fit. Which includes the whole toe-cutting gag that was originally in the Brothers Grimm book. Appalled, the prince's associate leaves with the slipper, thus taking away Cinderella's one chance of escaping her abusive family. Only, her ever-reliant fairy godmother don't think so. In fact, she thinks it's high time for the girl to stop being an absolute doormat and start standing up for herself. Take some real action against those who lashed at her with sharp tongues and cracking whips. Cinderella needs to take revenge on those who wronged her and our devilish fairy godmother just has the cursed mask to do it~

There's no denying that Cinderella's Revenge (2024) isn't a good movie. Not in the technical sense, at least. The effects are cheapened with dollar store props and too many CG visual works, the editing slopped up the flow of the story more than once and the writing is hammy to the point that the supposed horrific acts of abuse Cinderella endures fail to bring genuine horror. It's upsetting, yes, but it lacks a hard bite. Cinematography is nonexistent and a good bunch of the sets hardly impresses for how barren and lifeless they feel, but I will give the movie this: it made me laugh a lot! 

Direction-wise, Cinderella's Revenge (2024) takes a stab at satire by occasionally poking fun at itself, looping in weird anachronistic jokes and a whole lot of liberties on how the fairy godmother gets portrayed here as a caring yet psychotic guardian who is more than happy to suggest murder as a way out of an abusive household. It can and will be cringey, nonsensical even, but the cheese is undeniable and so does the unexpected laughs it brings. The slasher second act also delivers on the revenge elements well enough, which is plainly cathartic for those who always thought the wicked stepmother and the ugly stepsisters got away too easy in most of today's watered down depiction of the story. I do, however, wish that the whole killer Cinderella jig could have been more fantastical and carnal considering how brutal the original version of the story is with its eye-pecking birds and red-hot iron shoes forced upon the evil stepmother. Instead, we get the standard, by-the-book stabbings and throat cuttings, as well as a brutal beating with a croquet mallet. Nothing to loose sleep over but it gets the bloody job done.

Fairytale horror are often a hit or miss and Cinderella's Revenge (2024) certainly have more than enough misses than hits, but the sheer tongue-in-cheek of it all does save it from being completely unwatchable. Come for the blood, stay for the unintentional laughs!

Bodycount:

1 male decapitated with a sword

1 male gutted with a knife

1 female had her eyes plucked out, throat cut with a knife

1 female gets a shoe's heel to the temple

1 male stabbed to death with a knife 

1 female pounded to death with a croquet mallet

Total: 6

Political Threatre: Founders Day (2023)

Founders Day (2023)

Rating: ***1/2

Starring: Naomi Grace, Devin Druid, William Russ

When it comes to politics, I don't really give a damn; the whole idea bores me and, honestly, I find it rather funny that a lot of people lose themselves over what's basically a popularity contest fueled by a big mess of shady tactics and petty arguments about which way is the correct way to rule over the masses. It's all a silly game by the end of it, with the people sitting in the high chair's bound of muck it up at some point. 

That being said, isn't it ironic that I find a slasher centered around a small town election rather fun?

In the New England town of Fairwood, a race for public office between Mayor Blair Gladwell's platform of “consistency” against Harold Faulkner's campaign of “change” have the whole community heated and going for each other's throats, completely unaware that this contest would soon be shaken to its core; a mysterious masked figure in political robes and a blood red theater mask has decided to make the best of all of this political chaos and starts a killing spree targeting the teenage populous. With some of the victims being the two mayor candidates' children, an uproar of suspicions and accusations against both parties gets thrown all over, further sending the town into a crazed frenzy and paranoia as locals are left unsure of who to trust. 

Now, I'll admit that Founders Day (2023)'s so-called political satire is a real misfired aim as the supposed politics isn't anywhere as deep or thought-provoking as the movie's serious tone plays it out to be; the direction undoubtedly tries to put more weight on the drama happening around the campaign, but it roughly clashes against its story and script which both lean heavily on poking fun at the absurdity around political divide. There's no teeth in its statements regarding current event politics and it all simply boils down to an overly simplified idea that scummy politicians and political rage are bad, which definitely will feel underwhelming for those expecting the same cunningness towards the subject as that of, let's say, The Purge movies or even 2020's horror thriller, The Hunt. 

Personally, however, I couldn't be happier that this little bodycounter isn't bogged down by all that riff-raff seeing we already have enough noise to go through with Founders Day (2023)'s disjointed yet serviceable whodunnit slasher plot. Curiously, there's no true main character to speak of here as the movie practically juggles its attention from one focus group to another, leaving many, if not all characterization here mostly one-note. Our implied lead girl Allison Chambers, for example, who's going through the troubles of leaving town for a better future, as well as losing her girlfriend from a seemingly politically-motivated murder, is simply presented here moping around her loss and doesn't become the center of attention until the film's climax wherein she and a local bad boy start snooping around to figure out what really going on with these murders. It's rather unconventional, but it does keep the story on its toes as it practically implies that anybody can be murdered just as much as anyone can be the killer.

In fact, the whodunnit aspect of this movie is what really sold it for me as just when you thought things got figured out and you know where it's all headed, they kill off a character to throw a wrench on the cogs and have us starting over from scratch. It's frustrating, yes, but it also got me feeling challenged and engaged, with a final act that embraces the silliness of over-explaining convoluted plans with an overly basic motivation. Do they really need to kill off those people for their goal? Nope. Is it anti-climactic? Most people will agree, yes. Is it nonsensically fun? If you welcome its absurdity, I say yes! It can work! Besides, Founders Day (2023)'s road is paved with awesome kills and a cool-looking killer. Sometimes it pays to be a simple slasher fan, especially one who appreciates a level of cheese and a good homage to the early 90s gimmicky killers, something our killer, The Founder, delivers with their memorable presence highlighted with a distorted stage mask, a powdered wig and a gavel customized with a hidden blade. The fella is simple by design, yet so striking! (Pun intended)

Overall, I find Founders Day (2023) enjoyable more as a slasher that just happens to have a political slant to it, rather than a straight-on political horror flick. It's far from perfect, stumbling down a step or two with what it's initially trying to achieve in satire, but the end results still have a good dose of splattery fun time and a twisty murder mystery! 

Bodycount:

1 female beaten, throat cut with a bladed gavel

1 male beaten to death with a scale

1 female stabbed in the head with a bladed gavel

1 male stabbed in the gut with a broken wood post

1 female gets a fountain pen to the throat, repeatedly stabbed with a sign post

1 male gets a bladed gavel to the chest, face slashed and stabbed with a letter opener

1 female killed with a bladed gavel

1 male shot

1 female stabbed on the throat with a bladed gavel

Total: 9

All The Tender Sweetness of A Seasick Crocodile: The Mean One (2022)

The Mean One (2022)

Rating: ***

Starring: David Howard Thornton, Krystle Martin, Chase Mullins

Released months before a certain silly old bear goes backwoods maniac on grown-up Christopher Robin and a couple of girls visiting the Hundred Acre Woods, this is the movie Winnie The Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023) could have been: crazy, bloody and fun!

As a wee little girl, Cindy once got a not-so-silent night after spotting "Santa" trying to steal away their Christmas tree and dear ole' mother opted to tussle with the thief, only to end up falling unto a nutcracker's sword and impaling her neck. Twenty years forward and as suggested by her therapist, Cindy (Krystle Martin) decided to go back to her hometown of Newville with her supportive father Lou (Flip Kobler) to confront her past, find closure and just have a holly jolly Christmas like she used to as a kid. That was until the same "Santa" comes back to spread some holiday fear just as pops finished putting up the decorations one night, brutally murdering the man before whisking all the Christmassy trinkets away.

Understandably distressed and now wanting answers as to who or what killed her parents when the local sheriff (Erik Baker) and the town mayor (Amy Schumacher) prove to be of little help, Cindy starts looking into the events and Newville's little history, leading her to discover a grisly conspiracy involving missing hikers, encountering a green furry creature donning a makeshift Santa suit, as well as meeting a local drunkard (last name Zeus, but everyone calls him "Doc") who have his own misfortune with the creature after it slaughtered his wife many years ago. Through all of this, she learns that what they're up against is a real Mean One, as cuddly as a cactus, as charming as an eel, and with a murderous streak to anyone who celebrates Christmas, intentionally and accidentally! 

As a parody, The Mean One (2022) presents itself with the usual B-grade slasher/monster-hybird romp of traumatized protagonists going back to town to settle their troubled psyches only to come face to face with the threat that started the whole ordeal, though the gimmick here is that the villain just happens to be a familiar face to those who grew up under the whimsy and wonder of the Theodor Geisel classic children's book, Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas. Seeing this is an unauthorized horror jab of the story, the name "Grinch" couldn't be uttered anywhere in the film so they simply refer to it as The Mean One and this is practically one of the jokes in the film as a small running gag involves someone yelling for a Mr. Finch just as somebody else was about to utter the creature's real name. The movie could've actually benefitted from more jokes and nods like these but the direction and writing occasionally drags unto the mediocre, insisting on playing the plot itself straight in an attempt for some depth to Cindy's plight and the horrors brought upon by the titular monster, only to fall flat with how much it clashes with the overall tone, as well as how clumsily oversentimental it can get.

Fortunately, a lot of these failed straight-faced angles do come off unintentionally funny and the resulting camp outweighs whatever serious approach The Mean One (2022) tried leaning to, thus whenever the film wanted to be silly and messy, it somehow delivers: the murders are certainly one of this movie's highlights once the carnage goes full force and, although a decent bunch of them did rely on some CG blood for extra splatter, the absurdity of the kills work with how cartoonish the villain can get with their murdering as Terrifier (2017) and Terrifier 2 (2022)'s own Art The Clown actor David Howard Thornton dons the make-up and channels Jim Carrey's neurotic take of the Grinch back in 2000's How the Grinch Stole Christmas in terms of body language. A fine example would be one massacre wherein a group of overly festive drunkards dressed up as Santas, sexy elves and, for one shmuck, a Christmas tree hollered too much noise noise noise for The Mean One's liking, so the creature goes ho-ho-homicidal on them with killer candy canes and fairy light lassos, all the while The Mean One slides into places, jumps from spot to spot, pretty much being a limber evil thing! No speaking lines were given for the furry green fella, though, just a lot of growls and howls, so in terms of characterization, our villain is greatly lacking on that end, sadly, and we never did get an official reason for why this take of The Grinch is so murderous towards anyone celebrating Christmas in turn.

The rest of the casts are usually of one note, but they have a sense of warmth and humor that do make their presence tolerable to an extent whenever one or two of them start hamming it up the dramatics. The last act of the film is when the campiness of it all goes nearly as high as Mount Crumpit, with Cindy going on full training montages and setting up traps to use against The Mean One, before luring the beast into her home with all the bright lights and holiday music blaring, ready to roast the monster away with candy cane-colored machine guns and Christmas baubles filled with explosives. Heck, even the villain's defeat is deliciously hammy and hilarious as it addresses the fact that a heart growing three times its size is never a good thing! 

Schmaltzy dialogue and overdramatic acting aside, The Mean One (2022) can be a fun holiday treat stocked with a fair dose of fun kills, satirical stabs on a beloved children's literature and an explosive finale that goes great with hot popcorn and cold sodas. Far from a new cult classic, but entertaining enough to pass the time with!

Bodycount:
1 female lands neck-first unto a nutcracker's sword
1 male has his gut clawed open, head impaled with a cane
1 male stabbed to death
1 male murdered, later found with an icicle stabbed into his neck
1 male beaten with a cane

1 male had his head beaten unto a stationary spindle

1 male stabbed in the gut with a cane

1 female had her head stomped

1 male beaten to death against a bar table

1 male clawed on the face

1 male clawed to death

1 female had her neck snapped with a length of fairy lights, hanged

1 female mulched through a meat grinder

1 female torn in half (flashback)

1 male hacked on the head with a meat cleaver, dismembered

1 female decapitated with a car's trunk

1 female had her neck broken (flashback)

1 male mauled offscreen, dismembered arm seen

1 creature dies from an exploding heart

Total: 19

A Beary Traumatic Experience: Arbor Day (1990)

Arbor Day (1990)

Rating: ***

Starring: Scott Bradshaw, Chris Calomino, Michael Calomino

So what do you get when you cross the spoof comedy of Airplane! (1980) with the paint-by-number tropes of a slasher flick? Probably Student Bodies (1981). National Lampoon's Class Reunion (1982). Wacko! (1982). Pandemonium (1982). Scary Movie (2000), even. Well, joining in this cavalcade of comedic creeps is a film lost for three decades after its initial run through art houses, comedy clubs and indie theaters midnight screenings around 1992 West Babylon, NY. Unearthed and restored from the nothing via a successful crowdfunding, it is now here to terrorize and satire one of America's most beloved National Holiday, one that is cherished by men, women, children, quadrupeds of all age, gender and race.  It is now here to show that no holiday is safe anymore, not even... Arbor Day! 

Opening with a black-and-white callback to gothic horror (and, for some reason, Citizen Kane (1941)), we see an elderly man expiring after uttering the word Arbor Day, which the visiting doctor believes is a reference to what happened many years ago, when everything is in color; cue in a flashback of our psycho-killer, Elmer Jacobs, as a kid, celebrating Arbor Day by finding a spot to plant a tree with his dad and mom, the latter very likely a man in a dress. Things go horribly bad, however, when dad spots a man in a bear suit and cockily played with it to show young Elmer that there's nothing to be afraid of, only for his noggin to be clawed off while his wife gets mauled (and apparently raped) by the angry grizzly. 

The horrors of that memory left Elmer catatonic in an insane asylum over the years to come, all except during the one day when his brain activity gets restored and his strength gets a big buff: Arbor Day. As an annual precaution, the doctors and nurses do their best to avoid mentioning his parents' deaths or show anything bear-related during the holiday under the risk of triggering Elmer's murderous rampage. This year, however, an orderly made the mistake of mocking him just minutes before the clock strikes midnight at Arbor Day, igniting Elmer's killing spree as he eventually escapes and slay a few more randomly placed people along the way.

In come our casts of hapless victims-to-be consisting of a cool guy stoner, an annoying prick of a prankster, a pair of babes, an unremarkable final girl and her geeky kid brother. The gang is celebrating Arbor Day inside Elmer's abandoned home, an idea so terrible that a random doom-sayer manifests himself out of some nearby bushes, enthusiastically telling them that they'll be sorry if they go in any further. And as any of you would have guessed, they still did. They all went inside. And now they have to face the murderous wrath of Elmer Jacobs, now armed with deadly gardening tools and donning a handmade paper daisy mask...

Oh, and there's a detective who's supposed to be out trailing on our killer, but he's busy pigging on Arbor Day turkey and cake.  

As a slasher parody, Arbor Day (1990) does its fair job of lampooning the tropes slasher films are built upon, from the tendencies of the killer suddenly going superhuman after long periods being a vegetable, to the obnoxious use of caricatures as character personalities. At times, the humor can get too silly and overcooked whenever it focuses too much on a joke, like this one gag where the killer tries to cut a simple phone line only for his efforts to be dwarfed by the unusual strength of the cable, or when the finale is practically just one fake out to the next that seems to go on forever, though the intentional unhinged direction these gags run on does have its enthusiastic charm. A kind of silly playfulness with a clear goal to be simply entertaining despite being made under a production budget that's obviously cheap considering the flick's abundance of terrible costumes and make-up, the rubbery special effects and intentionally atrocious acting. Heck, one could even say that the clunky, shoestring production may as well help build up the movie's insane sense of humor for how hammy the sight gags can get!

Any horror elements still present in Arbor Day can be found through its collection of murders and its generous amount of bloodletting and gore. In execution and tone, though, they're in par with the cartoony nature of the film, even more so when the killer committing them is the type of maniac who thinks a giant papercraft daisy a kid can make in kindergarten counts as a threatening slasher mask, or daydreams about their potential future with the final girl should he decided to turn over a new leaf as a loving husband! (A random emotional ballad in the movie did say that behind every masked killer, there's a regular guy!) Frankly, I find the killer here to be the movie's strongest point as everything from his (very preventable) tragic childhood to his refusal to die from being shot with submachine guns and a fiery house explosion is just one outrageously jokey, tongue-in-cheek stab at a slasher trope and I love every one of them! 

A lost satirical gem that deserves a growing audience, Arbor Day (1990) can be a tad rough in its edges, but its sheer ridiculousness and bonkers bodycounting make it enough to be a worthwhile slasher spoof to scratch one's itch for crazed obscure comedies. Watch it with friends or watch it alone, see it sober or redonkulously drunk, chuckles are guaranteed!

Bodycount:

1 elderly male dies of old age

1 male decapitated by a man in a bear suit

1 female mauled and molested to death by a man in a bear suit

1 male had his gullet disemboweled

1 male killed offscreen

1 male killed offscreen, got a fishing rod through his head

1 female brained with a shovel, guts scooped out 

1 male gets a water hose shoved down his throat and inflated with water, bursts open

1 male decapitated with a weed whacker (Not the way you think, though)

1 male and 1 female squashed with hurled bags of fertilizer

1 boy had his head twisted around

1 male mauled apart by a man in a bear suit

Total: 13

Return to Kettle Springs: Clown in a Cornfield 2: Frendo Lives (2022)

Clown In A Cornfield 2: Frendo Lives
Author: Adam Cesare
Publication Year: 2022
Chapters: 30 (Epilogue included)
Rating: ***

Quinn Maybrook, Cole Hill and Rust Vance. The Baypen Three. It's been some time after they survived the Kettle Spring Massacre, the orchestrated attack at a small Missouri town committed by its radicalized adults who made it their mission to cleanse their community of its "blighted youths", and all our survivors wanted to do now is move on from that nightmare, figuratively and literally. But as word of the massacre spreads all over media and the truth becomes lost the further it goes, it made way not only to unexpected (and for some, unwanted) fame for Quinn, Cole and Rust, but also to internet conspiracy theorists attempting to twist the narrative to their own version of events wherein the three are painted as the masterminds behind the massacre.

Now heroes to some and villains to others, the Baypen Three see themselves getting praises and disgust from wherever they go and whoever they meet, but things are about to become deadly as they and their loved ones are suddenly targeted by what looks like coordinated attacks by goons wearing familiar looking clown masks. Knowing that the threat is far from over, Quinn, Cole and Rust must go back to Kettle Springs, Missouri, where there awaits something far more sinister than what they could've ever imagined.

In true horror sequel fashion, Clown in a Cornfield 2: Frendo Lives aims to outdo its predecessor and it does so by shaking the very foundation it itself built in order to widen its world and explore it further. Much like the first book, this sequel novel took its time establishing the lives of our main casts after surviving such a horrendous event. It is here we see notable angles being approached such as PTSD, the pros and cons of media attention and criticisms on violent extremism and mob mentality through out the internet and social media, a whole baggage of heavy ideas that's ripe exploited in a slasher plot, though done here in a much more creative swing. 

In fact, Frendo Lives is more of a up and up slasher hybrid rather than a straight-up slasher story; while we do get a couple of slasher flick style stalkings, attacks and murders, these mostly taking place within the first half of the novel and with great effect, they would eventually play second bananas to what will gradually become something of a melting pot of chases and sieges ala Purge sequel as the town of Kettle Springs devolves into a warzone invaded by radical types with a warped sense of "justice". It's mostly braindead fun, graphic descriptions of violence and murders coinciding with a lot of the wit and snark young adult horrors tend to have, though at times it paints a serious picture showing how media, especially social media, often trivialized true crime and many people would suck it dry for clout or blindly follow radicalized ideas surrounding it if it meant comfort or self-righteousness rather than face the facts. 

It's a tough dose of satire, one that holds a lot of weight in this day and age of vlogs, internet forums and online communities, but writer Adam Cesare thankfully knew how to balance it out with horror fiction filled with clown masked maniacs, unsettling imagery of shootouts and descriptive splatter, topped with flawed yet likeable characters, both old and new, brewing up good ole drama in the midst of it all. My only qualm here is that the conclusion felt lacking; without spoiling a lot, the whole town being sieged thing simply just ended once the tide started to turn against them. With all the damage they dealt, I expected something equally as grandeur, but we're instead given an epilogue where one of the survivors tell us what happened afterwards before concluding with a very cliched sequel bait. An underwhelming finish in my mind, but it could have been worse.

While the first Clown in a Cornfield is an easily favorable slasher fiction that one can enjoy as a standalone novel, Frendo Lives serves as a welcome follow-up should you ever see yourself wanting more of the Baypen Three's as horror survivors. Fast paced and savagely thrilling, another fantastic read for literary horror fans!

Bodycount: 11(?*) 

Notable Kill: A very graphic razor wire murder. Like, the book didn't stint on the excruciating detail of flesh and bone being sawed away. Had me wincing the way I did during that scene from Audition (1999). 

(*Have to leave out a few survivable attacks, like that one guy who got a baseball bat to the face. The book never specified if any of these victims were straight-out killed, so I'm not counting them.)

You are (Not) Enough: Sissy (2022)

Sissy (Australia, 2022)

Rating: ****

Starring: Aisha Dee, Hannah Barlow and Emily De Margheriti

Ah, influencers. People who built enough reputation for their knowledge and expertise on certain topics, guiding and engaging enthusiastic masses who look up to them for creative inspiration, authenticity and, once in a while, envy and consumerism. In today's social and traditional media, almost anyone can become an influencer so long as they put enough work to it and this may or may not include putting on a happy face to cover up something... broken.

Running an online wellness channel called Sincerely Cecilia, Cecilia spends her days in front of a camera promoting positivity and self-worth (while throwing in the occasional product placement) to her hundreds of thousands of adoring followers, all of who are unaware that once the camera goes off, their beloved influencer is simply depressed and miserable in life, living alone in a messy apartment watching TV and eating pizza. One day, however, Cecilia found herself bumping into Emma, a childhood friend she lost contact with all these years, and this chance meeting reignited a feeling of warmness and belonging she haven't felt for so long as tries to reconnect with her good friend emotionally. It all goes on a good start with Emma inviting Cecilia to her and her soon-to-be-wife Fran's bachelorette party and the two buddies actually having a swell time, but once Emma invites Cecilia to a weekend getaway far off near the woods with her friends and girlfriend, things just got way awkward and intense.

The house they'll be staying at happens to be owned by Alex, who bullied Cecilia as a kid and holds a spiteful grudge against the awkward girl for something she did to her years ago. Pissed at the fact Emma tagged along Cecilia without her knowledge, Alex goes out of the way to belittle her unwanted guest, mocking her profession and insultingly calling her by her childhood nickname, 'Sissy'. Cecilia, in turn, gets dangerously stressed from the attacks, starting to feel more and more unwanted and out of place from such a close friend group, but strives to do her best putting up a brave face and making amends with old enemies. But it ain't all as easy as it sounds and it isn't long before push comes to shove and bodies start dropping dead like flies.  

Taking cues from Lucky McKee's horror drama May (2002) and the depressing, Ryan Reynold-led dark comedy Voices (2014), Sissy (2022) settles itself as a darkly satirical character drama taking a stab at influencer culture, looking into modern day addictions of weighing one's worth through feedbacks of countless strangers behind digital icons at the cost of one's ability to actually grow as a person and move past familiar comfort and misplaced longing. Cecilia, brilliantly acted here by Ashia Dee, lives by a mantra in which she is loved, special and enough and preaches to her followers that they are, too, loved, special and enough. This, sadly, is hypocritical on her part as the further we go down the rabbit hole, the more we see that she never sincerely feels this way about herself and she constantly struggles to keep up with this well-off guru image in real life. It's a sad sympathetic sight, one that effectively humanizes the character despite her flaws, and the movie does a wonderful job incorporating her rose-colored wistfulness throughout the more depressing and horrific moments to come, including an upbeat yet melancholic score and brightly stylized visuals that are meant to reflect Cecilia's mindset. The film, though, isn't shy on knocking its own drama down a notch to keep itself from being too serious and dark, setting a good level of quirk within the madness with little odd scenes like Cecilia setting up some arts-and-crafts on a fresh grave to make it social media-friendly, as well as posting a quick video of positive reinforcement after braining someone with an amethyst crystal.

On that note, the tone gets devilishly humorous in its whimsy once the bodycount starts rising, even getting a honest laugh out of me when Sissy (2022) throws in a "useless cop" trope in which a rotund fella in uniform mistaken a call for a drunk dial only for them to realize it's a genuine cry for help seconds before the caller's phone dies. This mid-point turn for the more conventional and grisly slasher romp does end up casting aside the film's complex character-driven direction and themes involving bullying and trauma, but I find it hard to be displeased when the resulting carnage is mostly satisfactory and interesting; instead of being straight-up murders, a good deal of the slayings here often resemble accidental deaths that Cecilia inadvertently caused or simply let happen. (I say a good deal because, well, we did have that one incident with the car...) It doesn't appear she wanted to outright murder everyone on sight, but the lengths she goes to keep her image as a misunderstood yet well-meaning person during the slaughter do lean on the horrific and evil, so the story still manages to be an intriguing watch as mess upon mess leads to more carnage, straight up until its caustic yet satisfyingly gory finale.

A small gem of a slasher, Sissy (2022) is both a compelling run as a character piece and a bonafide gruesome treat that serves its dose of blood and gore. It may be a tad spotty with its tone and, perhaps, sacrificed a few good notes for shock value but, at the end of it all, it's a fine viewing should you see yourself looking for a bodycounter with a little more substance and meat to it.

Bodycount:

1 male pushed off a cliff, mangled 

1 female had her hair caught on a full bathtub's drain stopper, scalped and drowned

1 female ran over with a car, head crushed

1 female had her head repeatedly beaten and crushed with a walking stick

1 female shot through the head

Total: 5