Beatnik Break'd: A Bucket of Blood (1959)

A Bucket of Blood (1959)

Rating: ***1/2

Starring: Dick Miller, Barboura Morris, Antony Carbone

A black-and-white mini cult classic produced and directed by Roger Corman, starring cult movie icon Dick Miller when he was just 31 years young. Need I say more?

Working as a busboy at the trendy art-house coffee shop The Yellow Room, Walter Paisley (Dick Miller) wants nothing more than be socially accepted by the Beatniks he serves and he desperately strives for this by trying his hands on being an artist. His sculpting skills are, sadly, terminally lacking, but a strike of inspiration hits him after accidentally stabbing his landlady's cat in an attempt to free it from a wall: by covering the corpse in plaster (knife still sticking out), he crafts his first masterpiece, subtly titled 'Dead Cat'. The shockingly grim piece is an instant hit of 'realism' within the cafe, granting Walter the praise he have been yearning for all this time, as well as a newfound niche of murdering people in secret and showcasing their plaster-encased bits and pieces as art. 

The more merits Walter receives, the more desperate he becomes to continue his work. Thus, the more he needs a stable supply of bodies...

A rather amusing and functional send up to Beatnik culture, A Bucket of Blood (1959) reflects the time director Roger Corman and regular writer Charles B. Griffith started taking their work less seriously by the end of the 50s, playing a macabre yet identifiably whacky sense of humor into this movie's direction as it satires art scene pretentiousness and the ridiculous lengths people would go just for a little bit of recognition and attention. Made within the budget of $50,000 and shot in only five days, it's all told and done in an economically-restrained production that relied heavily on the performances of its casts and less on convincing movie effects to bring out the comically dark from its simple yet ghastly plot. True enough, the kills here aren't as graphic or well-crafted as most modern horror film murder scenes are, but the title entertainingly makes up for it with the grotesque yet hammy implications of our demented wannabe-artist's lunacy, who Dick Miller played with genial timidness despite being unhinged, crafting his Walter Paisley character as a sympathetic simpleton with a mostly relatable need to belong.

Its approach rather lighthearted despite the gruesome subject, A Bucket of Blood (1959)'s sentiments lean closer on being fun and hammy with a good dose of shock and violence, making it horror in small parts and a black comedy at most. Clocking only an hour and five minutes, it's a near-perfect fright flick quickie at that barely overstays its welcome and packs enough of an imaginative melting pot of the appalling, the humorous and even the melancholic to keep a horror fan happy and entertained.

Horrific and funny, this is one cult classic that you shouldn't miss!

Bodycount:

1 male had his head cracked open with a pan

1 female strangled to death with a scarf

1 male decapitated with a buzzsaw

1 male hanged

Total: 4

That's The Way To Do It: Punch (2023)

Punch (United Kingdom, 2023)

Rating: ***

Starring: Kierston Wareing, Jamie Lomas, Alina Allison

Oh I do like to be beside the seaside

Oh I do like to be beside the sea

Oh I do like to walk along the prom prom prom

Where the brass band plays tiddly-om-pom-pom

For those who are not in the know, Punch and Judy is a traditional puppet show featuring Mr. Punch and his wife Judy, following their often violent misadventures as Mr. Punch solves his way through various problems and foes with a beating stick. It's a staple attraction found at British seaside scenes and an occasional subject and inspiration for a few horror titles like Dolls (1987), Funny Man (1994) and a segment from an overlook horror anthology, Screamtime (1983). Now, we see good ole' Mr. Punch take the slasher mantle as an envisioned boogeyman stalking teenagers in this British bodycounter.

Wanting closure before heading back to university, Frankie (Alina Allison) decided to have one more night out with her friends as a bittersweet farewell to them and this uneventful coastal hometown life she's desperate to escape from. This evening of drugs, drunks and drama, however, gets tainted in blood when a local legend, a masked-figure known as Mr. Punch, begins creeping the seaside town for naughty people and giving them the business end of his bat. Punch spots Frankie and fancies on stalking her for the night, braining, breaking and burning as many victims along the way.

Much like its protagonist setting herself for more out of her mundane seaside life, Punch (2023) opted to do a bit more with the dead teenager horror plot by building its story around the dramatic discourse going on with its leading lady and the people she's surrounded by in her small town; some are with her in her plans of leaving the place despite feeling a tad sad about it, while others are simply downright opposed to the idea of her wanting out. This works surprisingly well as the writing actually gives the small main casts a noticeable level of depth and weight, even if they occasionally dip down into doing your typical slasher victim fodder of drinking, getting high and partying, not to mention the fact that the actors playing them gave a refreshingly subtle and modest performance, making the characters likeable enough compared to some of the tad annoying secondary casts.

On the slasher side of things, Punch (2023) does an admirable job doing its own demented little spin on the Punch and Judy puppet play aesthetic within its titular boogeyman and their kills; the murders are mostly bloody beatings with a bat while the killer spouts wise-cracks through a high-pitched voice mod, similar to how the Punch puppet deals with its foes and the little catchphrases it squeaks. This lack of variety may not do well for some slasher fans, admittedly, but I find the sheer craziness of Punch's manic clowning and playful brutality as he mocks and jokes around while shoving bats down people's throats bizarrely fun, even if the voice effect does make it difficult to work out what Mr. Punch is saying sometimes. The identity behind the mask was also a bit of a let down seeing it wasn't that hard to figure it out (clues were given early on the film), there's at least a nice second twist reveal in the near end which further ties into the puppet show lore quite nicely, in a small town folk horror way. (Do feel the film could have benefitted further from more night scenes around the empty seaside parks, though. More dread in isolation. Perhaps with a bigger budget...)

Albeit flawed, Punch (2023) is an okay Euro-horror flick that sticks to the basics; it's all evenly paced, generous with its bloodletting and, most importantly, features a freaky yet fun slasher villain with an effectively creepy look, all things any slasher fan can enjoy and appreciate. An easy slasher treat that packs a fair punch!

Bodycount:

1 male brained with a baseball bat

1 female had her jaw broken with a shoved baseball bat

1 female had her neck broken

1 male brained with a baseball bat, stomped

1 male brained with a baseball bat

1 male had his face caved in with a baseball bat

1 female beaten on the face with an audio console

1 female killed offscreen

1 male brained against a sink

1 male beaten to death with a baseball bat

1 male had his neck crushed with a baseball bat

1 female thrown into a bonfire

1 female brained to death with a baseball bat

1 male beaten to death with a baseball bat

1 male knifed in the gut

1 female brained with a baseball bat

Total: 16

Terror in Tinseltown: Hollywood Horror (2005)

Hollywood Horror (2005)

Rating: **1/2

Starring: Forrest J. Ackerman, Christopher Berry, Jimmy Bridges

A rarity and an oddity! We have ourselves a twofer here!

Differing groups of teens find themselves mysteriously invited to a horror-themed party way up somewhere at an old Hollywood building once owned by a socialite named Howard Hughes back in the 1930s, left abandoned and condemned all these years after a fiery accident. What they didn't know, however, is that the building's built like a maze, a perfect prowling spot for an enigmatic cloaked figure in a skull mask to thin down the attendee count one lost victim at a time, as well as for ghostly apparitions to haunt and taunt these hapless chumps. Who will be left alive by the end of this Hollywood Horror? Only time will tell...

Admittedly, this isn't a very good movie, but the reason for that leans heavily from the fact that this here is a lost slasher title; there are no posters or trailers for the film, nor any actual evidence of video releases despite a few online sources citing a US release date of 2005, which makes the plot taking place in 2007 just that stranger. By all means, Hollywood Horror (2005) looks like it was filmed in the late-90s, riding along Scream (1996)'s pop culture self-references ala dialogue and inside jokes, only to be seemingly shelved unedited and unfinished until it's leaked online via Youtube at 2022. 

We're basically watching a rough cut here, so I'm a tad more forgiving about its production flaws of missing reels and shoddy editing, and too its uninspired audio quality and shlocky camerawork. In terms of the movie's plotting and tone, it's a shoddy attempt of merging low-budget supernatural hauntings with the common slasher affairs of a costumed ghoul murdering people. The resulting work is an undeniably cheesy smorgasbord of ghosts and spooks menacing the casts, running gags of dismembered body parts expressing their annoyance of being killed off, and an overly ambitious twist that simply boils down to someone being bitter about money. It's all done in a hammy manner through its writing and actors for an intentional tongue-n-cheek approach and although it doesn't always work, it can be fairly funny, not to mention bloodily decent whenever it does. Where else, after all, can you find a slasher movie where a victims gets crushed and flush down a rigged toilet? That sure got a laugh out of me!

Intriguingly, there's a good line of familiar faces to be seen here, such as late-horror veteran Angus Scrimm as a curious psychic who warns some of the teens about the dangers residing in the Howard Hughes building and Diff'rent Stroke's Todd Bridges in a cameo as a weed-smoking security guard who gets a bad ending encounter with a forklift. Twins Tamera and Tia Mowry of multiple TV projects also show up here as a pair of fun-loving sisters looking for a swell time and, too, Natalia Cigliuti, Lindsay Warner of Saved by the Bell: The New Class, donning the obvious final girl role with a B-grade flair. A good deal of the casts are practically a walking time capsule and I'm all for it, frankly!

I can understandably see how Hollywood Horror (2005)'s unpolished mish mash of ghosts and killers  wouldn't fly right for most audiences but, as a guilty pleasure of sorts, I can dig it; the story has potential, the characters are fun, the killer looks alright and the gore effects are an okay mix of practical and hilariously dated green screen effects. Without a doubt, the film can definitely benefit from a couple more visits through the cutting rooms but, judging on what we have so far, not bad for a lost and unfinished late-90s/early-2000s find!

Bodycount:

1 female set ablaze

1 male knocked out of a building with a forklift, falls to his death

1 male crushed against the ceiling by a camera crane

1 female decapitated with a guillotine

1 female crushed and flushed down a rigged toilet

1 male electrocuted to death

1 female decapitated with a battle axe

1 male hit with a car

2 females hit with a car offscreen

1 male thrown off a building, falls to his death

1 elderly male succumbs to gunshot wound

1 female crushed dead in a falling elevator

Total: 13