Door-To-Door Nightmares: Door (1988)

Door (Japan, 1988)

Rating: ****

Starring: Keiko Takahashi, Daijirô Tsutsumi, Shirô Shimomoto

Yasuko, a housewife, lives a rather regular life in a high-rise urban apartment with her husband Satoru and young son Takuto, with the only snags in her happy mundane days being Satoru's workaholic tendencies which often have him spending more time in the office, as well as the constant barrage of spam messages from phone calls, mails, and door-to-door sales. Little did she expect, unfortunately, that a particular visit from an uncomfortably forward salesman one day would set off a series of stalking and harassment, hurling Yasuko down a disturbing path of distressing encounters and increasing violence which soon ends in an unsettling and brutal home invasion.

Marketed as an extremely rare late-80s home invasion slasher flick that never got a screening outside of Japan until very recently, Door (1988) is more of an Italian giallo-inspired stalker horror that leans towards style and direction rather than an increasing bodycount. The story is simple and straightforward, slowly burning its way from the everyday normalities of a small family, to the sinister scares and creepy set-pieces perpetrated by either our villainous stalker or Yasuko's growing paranoia, all in a pace that's best described as organic. It does take a while to get to the action going, in turn, and a few scenes did feel like they're padding for time, but the build-up is made mostly bearable and captivating thanks to the lurid cinematography and free-floating camera work effectively capturing just how alone and helpless Yasuko is in her predicament. A good portion of visual shots are even done in positions showing wide spaces behind or around certain characters to further convey this sense of isolation, greatly working with the narrative as it soon establishes that Yasuko's husband, Satoru, is essentially neglecting his family being so focused on his job, plus her neighbors would prefer to turn a blind eye to the attacks as they retreat to the safety of their own apartments and the cops are unable to help Yasuko that much as she never got a good look at the salesman so she couldn't provide them a proper description of her stalker. All of these elements melded well to create an intense and atmospheric plot that'll only get more shocking as it reaches its climax.

These last 20 minutes of Door (1988) is this movie's cream of the crop, an impressive scattershot of bloodwork and ferocity as Yasuko and her son Takuto, now trapped in their own home, are forced to flee from room to room and fight with whatever they can against a deranged salesman gone full maniac on them, knife at hand on one moment, a roaring chainsaw in the next. Gore makes its welcome presence around these parts, not overly splashy but a gnarly display nonetheless. Cinematographer Yasushi Sasakibara's phenomenal camera work captures the pure chaos and claustrophobic terror in an array of interesting shots, while Junichi Kikuchi's wild editing helps keep the hectic pace of the attacks, juxtaposing with the eerie slow burn that came before. Granted all of these end with a single kill only, the gradual escalation of edge and suspense made the wait all worth it, even more so when the death itself is crazy violent, cathartic in a very macabre way.

Keiko Takahashi, wife of Door's director, Banmei Takahashi, carries the film as our lead Yasuko, doing a fantastic job making the character sympathetic enough to make us feel for her during her loneliest and most helpless plights, definitely selling a lot of the film's more crucial moments. In turn, Daijiro Tsutsumi, playing our stalking salesman Yamakawa, lands quite an impression with his transition from a calm yet disturbed creep to a manic madman prone to sexual violence, despite the character having very little background to explain his sudden spiral to depravity. He's simply crazy. Dangerous. Sometimes that's all we need from a good horror villain and Tsutsumi nailed his part.

Door (1988) undoubtedly have most of its bits and pieces working in its favor, resulting to a terror flick that swims in shuddersome unease and nightmarish fear before rewarding us with a bout of thrilling savagery. A psychological horror with grit in its teeth, I say don't miss this one! 

Bodycount:

1 male stabbed with a barbecue fork and brained with a bat, nearly decapitated with a chainsaw

Total: 1

A Texas Ghost Town Encounter: Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

Rating: ***1/2

Starring: Sarah Yarkin, Elsie Fisher and Mark Burnham

It's been a while since we got another timeline for our favorite powertool-wielding, face-wearing Texan, isn't it?

Picking up decades after the original 1974 Texas Chainsaw Massacre, we follow young entrepreneurs Melody and Dante as they travel to Harlow, a supposedly abandoned Texas town, to auction off its properties to visiting buyers eager to turn the area into a trendy, gentrified haven. Tagged along with them is Dante's girlfriend Ruth and Melody's sister Lila, and things go off on a rather rocky start when, while inspecting an old orphanage, the group discovers it is still occupied by an elderly woman named Virginia who claims she still owns the building. An argument breaks out and ends with cops being called, Virginia's heart acting out from the stress and the last of her ward, a towering silent man, accompanying her as she's taken to a hospital. 

It all goes downhill from here when, while the teens busy themselves with the arriving real estate party, Virginia passes away in her ward's arms, triggering a murderous psychosis in him as it's revealed he's none other than Leatherface, the maniac responsible for the 1973 murders, hiding in plain sight all these years. Now making his way back to Harlow, leaving a trail of bodies behind, Leatherface sets his eyes on slaughtering anyone that comes across his path, this including our doomed little business group and a busload of gentrifying influencers.  

While "legacy sequels" like Halloween (2017) and Candyman (2021) busy themselves expanding the lore of the franchise while trying to do its own thing, Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) does little of the world building and more on running a bonafide straightforward B-flick slasher that's only in it for blood, guts and chainsaw carnage.

The plot is fairly simplistic, practically a hack 'n slash horror flick in its bare bones as it centers more on putting Leatherface on a solo villain act, with the rest of the Sawyer clan nowhere to be seen or are even mentioned. Its quick pacing meant the bodycount starts ramping up as soon as our killer Texan could grab hold of something sharp and pointy, and it doesn't stinge on the gore as practical and CG effects meld well here to deliver the gruesome goods, this including a bleak and nihilistic bus scene that will go down as one of slasher history's messiest climax, earning this movie's infamous title. 

These being the case, however, it does mean that writing isn't this film's best forte: with a story that focuses more on a killer and his kills, the rest of the characters hardly have any other personality apart from what they present outward, thus are thin on being interesting and/or likable. Plot holes are ever present, like how exactly Leatherface ended up living with Virginia in her orphanage after the events of the original film or the fact that our maniac is looking pretty sturdy and seemingly bulletproof for someone who's supposedly in their 70s to 80s. (I mean, it's been five decades, man! How is he not shriveled? Or riding a motorized scooter?!) There's also the matter that the film wasted potential elements that could have made this film a bit more engaging by mishandling and/or barely exploring ideas such as the real estate property sale, one of our main character's little history as a school shooting survivor, or having Sally Hardesty, the one who got away from Leatherface's massacre of '73, come back as a ranger grabbing the opportunity to end the monster haunting her all of these years. These little snippets could have been more but, no, they're there for five minutes and nothing else.

A clumsy execution, true, but if you're looking to entertain yourself with a back to basics slasher, these are nothing but small expected misfires. If anything, I'm just glad this film didn't try to reinvent itself much, staying true to the isolated Southern fried tone of the original with gorgeous scenery, worthwhile cinematography and a dash of dark humor to go along its carnal atrocities. (Yeah, let's see how well those social media likes can protect you from a gas powered cutting tool) The onscreen talents are alright despite the simple script and the take on Leatherface here is among the best I've seen for a good long while, an intimidating hulk of muscle and rage under his freshly skinned face mask, though somewhat still sympathetic as you kinda feel for his loss. Shocks and scares also has a genuine attempt here as the direction did play with our expectations a bit, especially around the beginning wherein who to trust and not gets juggled around to a good extent.

To put it short, I really enjoyed this. It's a bodycounter poking holes here and there, but makes up for it with tons of horrific fun meant to satisfy gore hounds and slasher purists. A blood soaked butchery in its sincerest form, Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) is a definite keeper!  

Bodycount:

1 elderly female suffers through a heart attack

1 male had his hand broken, stabbed in the neck with a bone

7 victims seen dead from a school shooting (flashback)

1 male shot on the neck, brained with an air tank

1 female gutted with a metal shard

1 male hacked and mutilated with a meat cleaver, bled to death

1 male had his neck stabbed unto a window shard, head pulped with a sledgehammer

1 male decapitated with a chainsaw

1 male gutted with a chainsaw

1 male eviscerated with a chainsaw

1 male ran through with a chainsaw

1 male slashed with a chainsaw

1 male sliced down with a chainsaw, leg cut off

1 victim ran down with a chainsaw (mostly offcamera, screams heard)

1 victim slashed with a chainsaw (mostly offcamera, screams heard)

1 male gutted with a chainsaw

1 male ran down with a chainsaw (mostly offcamera, screams heard)

1 male seen with a missing arm, killed

1 male ran through with a chainsaw

1 female ran through with a chainsaw

6 victims seen slaughtered with a chainsaw

1 female sliced in half with a chainsaw

2 females and 1 male presumably killed offcamera with a chainsaw

1 female ran through with a chainsaw

1 female decapitated with a chainsaw

Total: 38

Inked In Blood: The Fury (2006)

The Fury (2006) (AKA "Off-Panel")
Rating: ***1/2
Starring: Matthew Jockey, Emma Lin, Joshua Macks

Traumatized from nearly killing his girlfriend during an argument gone way bad a year ago, Lester (Matthew Jockey), a comic book artist and writer living in the city of Ashville, North Carolina, struggles to disassociate himself from his first graphic novel, a bestselling slasher story simply titled The Fury, fearing that the violence he envisioned for the book is affecting his psyche negatively.

His new lighthearted comic, however, isn't much of a hit which queues in his editors and publishers advising him to try his hands on another horror story, much to Lester's dismay at first until his psychiatrist friend Jolene (Emma Lin) convinces him to comply as a way to come in terms with what he did and hopefully move forward.

Unbeknownst to him, someone out there has taken a liking to The Fury a bit too much as a trail of brutal murders soon makes its way around the city with the perpetrator (calling himself "Instinct" after the comic's lead killer) eventually targeting Lester's publishing circle, as well as his friends, family and former lover. It soon becomes a race against time for our artist and a responding Sheriff  to stop "Instinct" before the obsessive killer preys on the very comic creator they look up to. But what do we make of the strange bloody visions Lester have been getting lately, or the concerning matter that the latter killings resemble those from pages he hadn't even published yet...?

Harking back a bit of Tenebre (1982), A Cat in The Brain (1990), The Dark Half (1993) and even Haute Tension (2003), The Fury (2006) is an ambitious mid-2000s slasher that attempts to blend commentary, psychology and a splatter-filled bodycounter under one helping. Though this attempt to put more brain in your run-in-the-mill slasher isn't exactly new (try any Italian Giallo from the 70s to the 90s) and the resulting film is anything but a perfect amalgamation of mind and mutilations, Fury at least succeeds in being a worthwhile watch promising imaginative kills for anyone lucky enough to see this rarity.

For what its worth, the more narrative-focused scenes were passable enough to follow through as they do put some thought on the commentary they're implying regarding violence in media and how it affects those involved in it, may it be those who consume it or those who instigate it. The brutality of the murders also helps add some weight into this idea as it cleverly questions just how well our protagonist is to begin with and just how far has he dug down the rabbit hole to be that good in drafting his horrible works on paper. Frankly, they could have made a tamer and more serious movie surrounding this topic, but the over-the-top kills littered left and right says otherwise and, even if they do leave the film uneven in tone, these murders are more or less the reason this film's a hoot to watch.

Done practically with little to no CG, the kills in Fury puts the gore in gory, near-borderline into torture porn (and, later, splatstick) territory. The killer doing them, in turn, is this rainslicker-donning brawn that's constantly shirtless to show off the self-carvings adorning their flesh, remaining silent for most of their onscreen presence and only starts talking to reveal this movie's own twist that, honestly, a tad groan-worthy seeing it's been done and over with by other films. This fortunately meant that the villain has an air of coldness in the little screen time he's allowed to utter some lines, relying more on the bulk and hulk for the rest of their more physical scenes that I could oddly compare being a cross between Friday the 13th's Jason and Candyman (1992)'s, well, Candyman.

The direction can be all over the place, but The Fury (2006) holds its ground enough to maintain a basic story of fanaticism and uncontrollable fury. It's a tad shame that it's such a rarity of a find as I'm earnest fans of splatter and gore will find this nearly lost gem a satisfactory addition to their collection. If you could find a copy of this, cherish it and enjoy it. Just don't loose your head over it...

Bodycount:
1 female had her head pulped with a tire iron, hurled through a car window
1 boy hit on the face with his own mother's pulped head, smothered in brain matter
1 male beaten with a rebar, repeatedly impaled
1 male brained, gets a whole brick force into his mouth and choked
1 female stabbed in both eyes with screwdrivers, pushed head-first to a fusebox
1 male shot through the back of the head with a handgun
1 male had his gut hacked open with an axe, force fed water with a fire hose until innards get strained out from gut wound
1 male brained and paralyzed with a hammer, dunked in a tub full of powdered lye
1 female found with her back flayed open and her lungs pulled out from her shattered shoulder blades
1 female gets a garden shear through underneath her jaw
1 male had his spine severed by the neck with a knife, forced into a car and rolled into busy traffic; immolated in car crash
1 driver immolated in car crash
1 male hoisted and impaled with a shotgun, head shot off
1 male had his leg shot off with a shotgun and his arms torn off, bled to death
1 male bisected with a chainsaw
1 male had a heel cut with a knife, repeatedly forced into and off a running chainsaw, mutilated 
1 female hits her head against a table, bled to death (flashback)
1 male knifed to death (flashback)
1 male bitten on the neck
1 female dragged into a padded room, presumably killed
Total: 20

Another Haunt. Another Maniac On The Loose: American Fright Fest (2018)

American Fright Fest (2018) (AKA "Fright Fest")
Rating: *1/2
Starring: Dylan Walsh, Romeo Miller, Madison McKinley

A small town mayor decided to turn a nearby abandoned asylum into a haunt for Halloween night as a way to put their town in the map, giving him the chance of being re-elected. For that extra touch, he hires a sleazy and obnoxious horror director Spencer Crowe (Dylan Walsh of Nip/Tuck), who's kinda struggling to get his luster back in the fright flick game, to run this project.

At opening night, however, Crowe accidentally causes a transport bus full of whackos from another nearby asylum to crash whilst snorting coke during his drive, unknowingly killing most of its occupants save for three. (Soon to be just two) Crowe simply drives off as if nothing happened, not knowing that the two survivors happens to be mental patients now freely making their way to his haunt. One of them decks out a mask and an arsenal of pointy weapons (and a gun) to start thinning down the guests and staff, the other goes on full Ahab-mode determined to kill off his fellow bus crash survivor to satisfy a very questionable vendetta.

On paper, American Fright Fest (2018) sounds like it could go somewhere given it'll get the proper direction and execution needed to be a fun horror film but, sadly, the resulting product lacks both. The movie's more of an overly long cat-and-mouse chase on a hasted pace, with most of its casualties being random bystanders ended with lackluster kills, accumulating to nothing but just a high body count and an unsatisfying conclusion that left a couple of interesting development just hanging there unresolved, one being Crowe growing unhinged (either due to being high on weed or just upset with how his movies are turning out lately) and starts enjoying the carnage he is seeing through the control room he locked himself in, to the point he's willing to lead a few of his staff to the killer's clutches.

The only good thing I can take from this is that actor Pacho Moler ("Sick-Head" from Rob Zombie's 31 (2010)) did an amazing job playing a likable assistant to Walsh's character. Past that, American Fright Fest (2018) just fails to make an impact nor make itself properly entertaining for my taste, not with how bland and tiresome its overall tone felt. In fact, I think I'm better off re-watching Hooper's The Funhouse (1980) or the underrated 2018 slasher Hell Fest to satisfy my maniac-loose-in-haunt fix, and I think it would go the same for you.

Bodycount:
1 elderly male shot on the head with a shotgun
1 elderly female shot with a shotgun
5 males killed in car crash
1 male shot on the face with a shotgun
1 male repeatedly headbutted, pounded to death
1 female strangled, neck crushed
1 male gets a knife through underneath his jaw, gutted
1 male killed, method unknown
1 female had her neck snapped
1 male electrocuted with an electrode to the head
1 male killed offcamera
1 male hacked to death mostly offscreen with an axe
1 male hacked with an axe, arm cut off
1 male gets the back of his head cut with a scalpel, killed
1 female stabbed to death with a scalpel
1 male shot on the head
1 female presumably killed with a machete
2 males hacked to death with an axe
3 males and 1 female shot to death
7 victims slaughtered mostly offscreen with a chainsaw
1 male hacked on the chest with an axe
2 males and 1 female shocked to death on an electrified bed frame
1 male gets a hunting knife forced into his nape
1 male shocked to death on an electrified bed frame
1 male seen being electrocuted to death with an electrode to the head
1 female gets a knife forced into her neck, shot with a shotgun
1 male brained with an axe head, bled to death
1 male seen killed
1 male shocked to death against an electrified bed frame
Total: 44

Some Killer Presents: Secret Santa (2015)

Secret Santa (2015)
Rating:**1/2
Starring: Annette Wozniak, Geoff Almond, Keegan Chambers

A seasonal slasher with a comedic side, Secret Santa (2015) has the basic plot of college students (and their professor) getting together for a Secret Santa Christmas party, only to have their gifts switched with used garden tools and sharp kitchen wares by a figure in a balaclava, now prowling around the house and murdering them one by one.

It's nothing altogether new save for one or two decent twists and takes, including foreshadowing how our characters will die based on the gifts they received during the Secret Santa gift exchange, the real identity of the killer and the admittedly hilarious "two hour" long monologue as to why they're doing this. (which still made little sense at the end)  And with its short 78 minute run, Secret Santa would have been a quick yet fun little ride down to familiar bodycounting territories if only the rest of its comedy portions were as good as the gory killings.

Even though college comedies aren't my thing, I usually am able to tolerate them in a slasher set-up if the payoff is seeing these teens die a good death at the hands of a decent killer. What I cannot stomach, however, is when a joke seems to be going forever that the punchline felt watered down from the prolonged build up. Secret Santa has more than one occasion of this, which in turn have us waiting until the last 20 or so minutes to get the climactic killing spree, and it doesn't help better the good half of the cliched campus funnies this movie is trying to make work. 

Pleasingly, the kills are rewarding enough to make up for some of the dud jokes Secret Santa (2015) coughed up so I couldn't consider this film a total lost. It's definitely an effort with a small budget, one that deserves to be seen and enjoyed for the simplistic cheesy story, few genuine funnies, the overall messy slaughter and nothing else. Check it out during the holidays (or, y'know, any time you want to) if you're in the mood for a not-so-great-but-far-from-bad bodycounter.

Bodycount:
1 female gets smothered with a pillow and a powerdrill to her eye
1 male had his throat repeatedly slashed with a knife
1 male knifed in the head
1 female ran through and disemboweled with an electric knife
1 male castrated with a pruning shear
1 female brained to death with a hairdryer
1 male decapitated with a meat cleaver
1 male stabbed in the head with a screwdriver
1 female ran through with a fire poker, bled to death
1 female knifed in the gut
1 male dismembered and decapitated with a chainsaw
Total: 11

Silent Night, Cruel Night: O'Hellige Jul! (2013)

Have Yourself a Mirthless Little Christmas~

O'Hellige Jul! (Christmas Cruelty!) (Norway, 2013)
Rating: **1/2
Starring:  Eline Aasheim, Tormod Lien, Magne Steinsvoll

When a movie starts with a family of four beaten, bound and gagged while the perpetrator rapes the mother before putting a running buzzsaw through a baby, you know this is gonna be one fucked up holiday horror.

A mean-spirited callback to the old days of artsy exploitation movies, O'Hellige Jul! follows the lives of friends Eline, Magne and Per-Ingvar as they celebrate the holiday season through festive decorations, pranks and some good ole' brewskies to the point of being shit-faced. Unknown to all of them, they're being observed by a man working at a public welfare agency who's planning to pay them a visit soon and contribute in any way he can so they don't have to worry about the New Year.

The problem with this? Well, this welfare worker and loving family man happens to be a serial killer with a brutally nasty habit of home invasion, rape and dismembering victims. As Eline and her buddies go through the Winter holidays with little to no care in the world, our killer plots his next killing spree and it isn't long before a creepy Santa costume is donned, paths are crossed and a chainsaw's teeth goes through warm flesh.

True to O'Hellige Jul!'s English title, this movie is cruel in every sense and not just in a manner of relentless onscreen blood work; while the beginning and the end of the movie befits the slasher/splatter category well, the middle run of O'Hellige Jul! is written more as a black comedy working around the bleaker side of the holiday with an almost realistic (and at times, darkly funny) depiction of those living in the lower end of the social spectrum, mostly unpleasant folks wallowing in misery and stress over the hectic (and often costly) yearly celebration. This works quite well to the fact that our killer's normal occupation is that of someone supposed to help these people, creating an ironic yet oddly clever walking and stabbing social satire on the welfare system, though it can divide the audience as this chunk of the story can get really slow with its pacing, and attempts to build character and tone can lead almost unwatchable obnoxiousness.

The exploitative portions, thankfully, deliver the best bits of the movie, holding little to no restraint when it comes to grue and unsettling scenarios despite the low budget effects. It's not one for the squeamish, pulling no punches when it comes to taboo subjects such as assault, infanticide and random acts of violence, but lovers of dark and gritty cinema certainly will find something to like about this movie, particularly the last third of O'Hellige Jul! where the savagery is at its worst and the final product is foreseen bleak, thus a very welcome payoff to a slow middle act.

Less of your paint-by-number slasher horror and more of a gore-filled grindhouse grit,  O'Hellige Jul! is a film that pushes the boundaries of shock value and explores the more realistic array of cinematic scares on the side. It is no mean a masterpiece as a holiday horror flick considering the, again, long and slow middle run, but I do appreciate the efforts the filmmakers made to put something daring and strangely natural on a horror film. With its cast of amateur actors giving the film an air of near fidelity, O'Hellige Jul! definitely has the potential to be better with a bigger budget or slicker direction, but for what we have now, I recommend this title only to those with a strong stomach and a love for good underground shlock.

Bodycount:
1 baby sliced through with a buzzsaw
2 males and 2 females presumably murdered offcamera
1 male brained to death with a hammer
1 male decapitated with a machete
1 female knifed to death
1 female dismembered with a chainsaw
1 male dismembered and eviscerated with a chainsaw
Total: 10

TV Terror: Wolf Creek (2016 TV Series)

Wolf Creek (Australia, 2016 TV Series)
Rating:****
Starring: John Jarratt, Lucy Fry, Dustin Clare

I understand how turning a film franchise like Wes Craven's Scream into a TV series sounds like a passable idea since the movies' murder mystery premise can be easily translated into a weekly small screen whodunit outing. (With varying results) But what about Wolf Creek? A slasher franchise that, so far, focuses on the murderous misadventures of a racist, sexist, foul-mouthed serial killing pig shooter from the land down under, played by veteran Aussie actor John Jarratt? Well, easy! Let the ole' pig shooter do his business while mostly focus the entire mini-series on a survivor's long perilous journey to get even.

On vacation in Australia with her family, 18-year old Eve Thorogood didn't see it coming: the man her family invited for dinner for saving their son from a croc earlier that day turns out to be a serial killer named Mick Taylor and he's making a quick work offing this family of tourists after feigning friendship, cutting daddy's throat, throwing a bowie knife to mum's face and shooting little brother with a rifle. He soon chases Eve to the outbacks, seemingly shooting her dead and assuming the crocs got to her body when he couldn't find it, though, unfortunately for Mick, the latter wasn't the case.

Surviving the attack, Eve gets rescued by a couple of birdwatchers the next day and finds herself hospitalized while her family's murder gets assigned to a detective Sullivan Hill who have been investigating a series of similar murders apparently committed by the same outback boogeyman for years. Wanting revenge for her loss, Eve steals a folder full of Hill's cases, buys a van and sets off to follow the bodycounting breadcrumbs left behind by Mick.

With only six episodes to follow through, this incarnation of Wolf Creek made a wise decision to make itself less about Mick and focus more on Eve's travels across the Land Down Under, facing other things that might kill her such as animal bites, animal traps, being wrongfully accused of carrying drugs, horny and vengeful biker gangs, and even another murderer hiding in plain sight. Each episode felt like a story of its own set within a larger plot, centering on one of these dangers in pure Ozploitation fashion thus developing the parts of the Wolf Creek universe that didn't get to be explored in the movies.

This direction help develop Lucy Fry's character Eve as a protagonist as she goes through these hardships and deadly close calls with expected and unexpected results, making friends and enemies alike as she defends herself and save a few people she comes across, thus making her more dimensional than a typical slasher heroine. Her journey, though littered with danger, is as adventurous as it can get, littered with colorful characters that varies in importance and purpose in the entire story, as well as a decent dash of intrigue, dark humor and some hardcore action.

On the other hand, the horror elements rest solely on Mick being the sadistic and foul-mouthed evil on two legs that he is from the films and, despite his limited appearances until the last few episodes where he eventually closes in on Eve, it works mainly on the fact that there's a little role reversal in play in which he finds himself hunted down for a change and he sets to fix this as soon as possible, in any way he can. The ensuing carnage first starts typically as Mick, as sure as hell that he's getting aware with another tourist purge, murdering folks (and inconveniencing some) as he always do and it is as brutal as it can get for TV, which meant we don't get a lot of gore and at least some of them occur offcamera but the deaths are passable and troubling in their own way. Once he figures out Eve is after him, his presence got considerably unnerving as you'll never know how close he is to catching our avenging heroine first or whether she will even have the chance against him now that he more or less have eyes at the back of his head, watching out for her.

Now as good as this series can get, it is not without it's own flaws and though some of these would be my own nitpicking, one can agree that giving Mick a backstory to what can be summarized as his first kill felt unnecessary and adds little to the character. If any, it kinda killed off some of the mystery to who or what he is as, in all honesty, one cannot get away with this much murder in this day and age, nor can anyone survive the treatment he got from both the films and Eve in the end of this mini-series. There is a matter of the supernatural being introduced in the last few shots of the finale but it personally felt misplaced and, if hinted to be anything connected to Mick, just a too easy of an explanation as to how our villain operates as a slasher character.

All in all, the small number of episodes perfectly paced what is technically the best of Ozploitation cinema presented in TV format. Among the many slasher series I've seen, Wolf Creek the series is a masterfully crafted tale of a slasher victim's outback odyssey of revenge tops them all hands down, so much so that I basically watched the entire series in a matter of two days after and before going to work. It is just that good. So for all of those who are yet to see this series, I high recommend this hack'n slash drama for your viewing pleasure and to quench any need for small screen bodycounting mayhem.

Bodycount:
1 crocodile shot on the head (S1, E1)
1 male stabbed with a bowie knife, throat cut (S1, E1)
1 female gets a thrown bowie knife to the face (S1, E1)
1 boy shot with a rifle (S1, E1)
1 female murdered, severed hand seen (S1, E1)
1 male stabbed in the groin with a bowie knife (S1, E3)
1 male murdered offcamera (S1, E3)
1 male found castrated and hung by the legs, bled to death (S1, E3)
1 male suffers a heart attack, killed in vehicular crash (S1, E3)
2 males seen dead from vehicular crash (S1, E3)
2 males killed in explosion (S1, E3)
1 male shot (S1, E3)
1 male shot with a rifle (S1, E4)
1 female brained with a hammer (S1, E4)
1 female body found rotting (S1,E4)
1 male mentioned shot, suicide (S1, E4)
1 female captured, presumably killed (S1, E4)
1 male found with a throat cut (S1, E5)
1 male found beheaded (S1, E5)
1 male skeleton found (S1, E6)
1 male shot dead with a rifle (flashback) (S1, E6)
1 girl pushed down a small cliff (flashback) (S1, E6)
1 male repeatedly stabbed with a bowie, bled to death (S1, E6)
Total: 25

The Slashie Awards: Slashermania (2017 Comic)

Slashermania (2017 Graphic Novel)
Rating: ***1/2
Author: Russell Hillman
Pencils: Ron Joseph, CJ Camba
Inks: Jake Isenberg, Ron Joseph, CJ Camba
Colours: Harry Saxon
Number of issues: 1

If properly handled, slasher movies with gangs of killers are something I could always look forward to. From the child cults of the Children of the Corn franchise and the inbred mountain families of the Wrong Turn series, to the trio of killer clowns of Clownhouse (1989) and the trans-dimensional mutants simply known as the Neon Maniacs (1986), I always find myself marveling at these maniacal groups functioning and identifying themselves as a single entity, or how each of them has their own thing going and, when packed together in a single film, almost always guarantee a collectively awesome hour and a half with their gimmicks and quirks while doing away victims.

It's this mindset that had me looking into a then Kickstarter comic project known as Slashermania, the graphic novel answer to the question "what do you get when you cross Battle Royale (2000), Sleepaway Camp (1983), and $LA$HER$ (2001)?", featuring not one. Not two. Not Four. But ten slashers stalking the woods and cabins for fresh victims! Of course, I was ecstatic both as a slasher nut and a comic book geek. Now, three years later and thanks to a good online buddy, I finally got to read it not too long ago as of writing this! So, did the large cast of masked and not-so-masked killers brought the same gory and brutal delight as, let's say, the 2006 remake of The Hills Have Eyes did as a multi-killer slasher story? Yes. Yes it did....

Until the last third of the book.

In this gore-filled comic set in the 80s, a secret show is held by someone going by the moniker Blade Killington where rich individuals pay by the millions to see what is basically live snuff, committed by costumed killers. This apparently have been going on since 1980 and the further the years go by, the larger the number of victims-to-be gets unknowingly roped in and, in turn, the more killers participate. By the end of each show, an award ceremony is held, handing these slashers the "Slashies" for categories such as the Best Male Solo Death, the Best Female Solo Death, First Kill, Biggest Multiple Deaths, and the much desired Slasher of the Year award, all narrated and recapped throughout by two jolly former competitors-turned-host and hostess with an excitement as to match any football announcers.

Long story short, it's the friggin Slasher Olympics!

Our competitors, ladies and gents!

Now it's 1983 and the killing grounds selected for this year's show is a refurbished camp site, where a total of 50 teenagers will be dropped into and be done away by our competitors: former-vigilante-now-psycho Captain Night, silent hulk Franklin Frost, lusty femme fatal Madame Tragedy, the quippy March Hare, powertool-ready Mechanic, gender-confused Sammy, old-fashioned Signor Gialli, the medically deadly Unknown Doctor, torchlight-wielding Usherette and the musically-inclined Virtuoso. As night falls, these hunters will hunt their prey and it soon becomes clear that nothing will stop these mad folks. Nothing, except, a final girl who will soon thirst for revenge...

Story-wise, Slashermania is definitely a slasher story at its best and worst; on one spectrum, I love the quick pace of the story and the satirical take on violence as entertainment, with the latter had me chuckling a bit on how casual the spectators can be as innocent (and not-so-innocent) teens meet their maker in such horrifyingly painful fashion. The whole carnage is treated as a mere sport, complete with guest stars such as psychiatrists and tabloid writers commenting on the events, and too past victors and survivors settling their differences long enough to sit on the same couch to catch up. These "back stage" portions are where most of the rightfully exploitative and witty writing shines, doing a pretty good job building the backdrop behind this twisted event.

When it comes to the teens at the camp prior and in the midst of the carnage, though, this is where most readers will be challenged; for a typical slasher fan who wants nothing more than bodies getting hacked to bits left and right, character building can be optional so long as the resulting death is worth their time, may it be in execution or build-up. The teens in Slashermania clearly lack any further depth apart from being one-dimensional meat for the slashers to kill, most of them characterized similarly as "horny", "gay", "dumb", "stoned" or simply "there", uttering what is technically the same lines concerning how high they are from whatever drug they're smoking or how horny they are for that one guy or gal. Their large number, as well as their lack of focus and development may as well be intentional since the main showcase here are the killers and the gory deaths they will soon bestow upon these children.

And bestowed upon them their gory deaths they did and it just looks fantastic! The overall art looks good for most pages, though I do notice the quick decline on quality around the last act. Until then, the details and coloring strikes a late 80s/early 90s vibe to them, and it sticks pretty close to the exploitative elements of a good slasher with gratuitous sex scenes and full frontal nudity. That being said, the carnage around the first night are some of the better looking ones I've ever laid eyes on, and the quality of the kills are gloriously gruesome enough to make me wonder what some of these cool kills and attacks would look like in live action. It's tame when it needs to be tame, savage when it needs to be savage, inventive when it needs to be inventive (multiple deaths by shower scalding? Genius!), all in the making of a true slasher story.

The killers themselves are mostly a treat, with each being a take on classic slasher villain tropes from the mute indestructible hulk to the limber wisecracker, as well as proto-slashers like the classic black-gloved Italian giallo criminal and even a Norman Bates-inspired crossdresser type. Their designs are pretty great and accurate to the kind of villains normally popping up in slasher flicks, though I will admit some of the better ones were those that were simply mentioned in the background. (The bondage themed Pain/Pleasure Principal? Chemical-themed Biohazard? What the shit?! Those are some of the cooler looking slashers!) Their variations meant that the immense bodycount here are mostly done away with the killer's own shtick (The Virtuoso sings with his target first before bashing their brains in, for example. Or, my favorite, The Usherette wielding weaponized torchlights), but it is nice to see that a bigger deal of the killcount are good old-fashioned brute force and stab wounds.

So it seems Slashermania has both guts and glory on a high mark, but does it last forever? This, sadly, is where the book's biggest flaw comes in and it's gonna be kinda tricky talking about this without giving away much. As mentioned, it was all fun and games for both these slashers and the sick audience watching until one of the survivors decided to get even and, while I normally don't mind a survivor getting back on the killer, this could have been done better. Since the characterization of the teens was stiff, our little avenger could have been anyone and, to be truthful, she doesn't strike as anything remarkable except, I dunno, being street smart? Doesn't really count much for its worth seeing I could point out about two to three other kids in that camp who were street smart given I could recall their names since they all blend in together too well...

Apart from the bland survivor, I also can't help but feel that the comic's ending was rushed and I can tell from its many plot holes. For instance, for a guy who's supposed to be rich enough to have people back up this blood show with millions of dollars, you would expect better security to, I dunno, prevent one kid from entering the premises and kill them off before any real damage can be done? Also, for a group of serial killers who managed to pile up 50 or so victims for over a day and a half, had it occur to them that they could just, well, pile up on the angry, pissed-off teen and mutilate the kid to death? Heck, one of these freaks even brought it up! Yes, Sammy, why can't you just help Franklin out and tackle the little ankle biter down and chop off their limbs so it'll be easier to finish them off? Numbers, lumbnuts! Use 'em!

Now, I suppose this book is trying to point out the flaw in slasher logic, but damn, that finale was pretty lazy. I expected more stalk-and-hunt survival action between the survivor and the ten to nine remaining killers, but all I got was cheap death porn. And I hate cheap death porn. (Before you point out, yes, I am aware that most of the book is death porn but, until the later bits, the first two thirds of killings were gorgeous, creative and a hell lot better thought out)

Still, I wouldn't let a sour ending ruin a good book. For most, it was a great read and certainly worked up a lot of eye candy for my inner gorehound and love for slasher villains. Definitely not the best slasher comic out there, but Slashermania has its charms and it's worth reading if you're a big fan of dead teen horror flicks who just happens to be craving for some bloody carnage. With sweet art, badass killers and a jet black sense of humor, go grab a copy of this graphic graphic novel fresh off the prints!

Bodycount:
1 male knifed through the gut
1 female gets a dagger through the head
1 female axed between the legs
1 gets a dagger through the neck
1 male gets a metal spike through the groin while being fellated
1 female impaled through the mouth with a metal spike while fellating
1 male seen impaled with a metal rod
1 female seen killed
1 male ran through with a machete
1 female shot on the head with a pistol
1 male decapitated with a kukri
1 male beaten to death with a torchlight
1 female had her throat slit with a razor
1 male set ablaze
1 male and 1 female set ablaze with a thrown burning victim
1 female powerdrilled through the head, exits to an eye
1 male lands head first to a bear trap
1 female brained to death with a guitar
1 male pushed to a bonfire, had a leg axed off
1 female held down in a lake, drowned
1 male vivisected with a machete, lunged ripped out with a hammer claw
1 male had his legs cut off with a machete, brained with a hammer
1 female gets a glass shard to the chest
1 male had his head crushed with fridge door
1 male vivisected with a scalpel
1 female stabbed on the temple with a knife
1 male had his throat cut with a kukri, disemboweled with a chainsaw
1 male and 1 female eviscerated with a chainsaw while copulating
1 female shot on the eye with an arrow
1 female shot through the neck with an arrow
1 male brained with a wrench, dropped back first to a vehicle lift
1 female stabbed on the head with a daggered torch light
1 male stabbed with a daggered torchlight
1 male gets a daggered torchlight through the head, exits to mouth
1 male nearly decapitated with a daggered torchlight
1 male and 1 female gets adouble throat cut with a cane sword
1 female had her throat slashed with a scalpel
1 female dismembered with a hacksaw
5 males scalded to death inside a rigged and locked shower room
1 female brained with a sledgehammer
1 male brained with a sledgehammer
3 females and 2 males caught inside a burning cabin
1 male eviscerated with a chainsaw
1 male and 1 female gets a double gutting with a chainsaw
1 male and 1 female dismembered with a chainsaw
1 female had her face eviscerated with a chainsaw
1 female killed with a chainsaw offpanel
1 male stabbed with a cane sword
2 males and 1 female found poisoned
1 female found shot
1 female shot
1 female shot
1 male shot
1 male and 1 female shot dead
1 female decapitated by an elevator
1 male shot on the head
1 male stabbed to death with trophies
1 male seen shot on the head
1 male shot on the eye
1 female shot on the head
1 male shot
1 male axed through the chest
1 female hacked with an axe
A number of people presumably killed in a fire
Total:79+

Seaside Blood Fair: Chainsaw (2015)

Chainsaw (2015)
Rating: ***1/2
Starring:  James Frey, Kirby Bliss Blanton, Logan Paul

Eight and a half minutes long. Produced by Eli Roth of the Hostel franchise. Yep. This is gonna be a fun one.

At a seaside funfair, a man with a chainsaw nonchalantly walks to the backroom of a haunted house attraction, apparently to work as a hired spook. Of course, with the man's quite demeanor (and this being a short horror flick), we all can tell something's not right and dismemberment soon happens.

Originally made as a sort of sneak peek for a possible feature film, Chainsaw (2015) has quite a simple premise that harks back to classic horror stories of dark rides with deadly little secrets. It's pretty straightforward to what it wanted to do and we can easily tell this with the killer's quick succession of murdering five victims in such a short running time. Some may find this predictable and I will not argue with that fact, but this little devil packed enough blood and guts to satisfy bloodthirsty gorehounds and I like that they went on with all of it in such gruesome flair and a bit of dark humor.

It's a quick slice of gory horror pie so there's also very little to argue about in terms of writing and characterization. The victims are victims, the unknowing bystanders are just unknowing bystanders, and our nameless killer is just a nameless killer, though we are shown that he likes to eat raw meat from his victims and that this little thrill kill may not be his last. Special effects are undoubtedly the short's key player as juicy red corn syrup and chunky latex parts are everywhere once the climactic slaughtering begins and even when it ends, having an artsy touch to them with nasty slow-mo close-ups that kinda reminds me of a dismemberment scene from the cheesy cult classic slasher Pieces (1982).

Chainsaw (2015) was posted at Crypt TV, a website Eli Roth co-founded. Whether the attempt to make something out of this short failed or it's taking its sweet sweet time fermenting into a genuine feature flick, I will say that this tiny terror ticked every box in making a good fun slasher. If you need quick fix of blood and body parts, then try giving this Chainsaw (2015) a gander and see the small buzz it made for itself.

Bodycount:
1 male decapitated with a chainsaw
1 male bisected on the shoulder with a chainsaw
1 female sliced in half with a chainsaw
1 female seen killed with a chainsaw
1 male seen dismembered
Total: 5

Raising Sawyer: Leatherface (2017)

Leatherface (2017)
Rating: **1/2
Starring: Finn Jones, Stephen Dorff, Lili Taylor

A few months ago, I recall writing about my uncertainties with the then-upcoming Texas Chainsaw Massacre prequel simply called Leatherface, a concept that kinda looked pointless to me since I really don't see the need for one, nor do I believe many people were even asking for it. Still, the higher powers above (as in probably the executives at Lionsgate) managed to wrangle up horror director duo Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury, famous for their slashers Inside (2007) and Among The Living (2011), to direct the project so should this merit enough attention and probability that it'll be good?

Yes. But all for the misleading reasons.

The film opens with a circa 50s Texan farming family celebrating their youngest member's birthday. The family is quickly made clear to be our infamous Sawyer clan as they ask one teenage Drayton to serve the first slice of their (oddly chunky and sinewy) "cake" to their unexpected guest: a bruised and tied up thief. As both a bloody rite of passage for the birthday boy, Jed, and punishment for the thief for stealing some hogs, matriarch Verna Sawyer hands the kid the family chainsaw and coaxes him to slice the man open. Jed's a tad too squeamish on killing, however, prompting grampa Sawyer to finish the job with a sledgehammer.

Sometime later in a morning, a young teen couple was driving by the Sawyer property when they swerves to a stop after nearly running over an odd looking calf in the middle of the road. The situation goes eerie when girlfriend sees that the animal is really Jed wearing a cow's head for a mask and, after the childs bolts off into the fields and much to her boyfriend's protests, she follows to check if the boy's alright. Of course, the whole jig was a trap to murder her and, needless to say, the Sawyer boys made a quick killing out of the girl with a dropped tractor engine.

Unfortunately, the girl just happens to be Texas ranger Hal Hartman's daughter and though he cannot charge the boys for murder without any proof, he did manage to accuse Verna of child endangerment, which ends up with Jed being taken off her hands and into an asylum.

Ten years after this, at the Gorman House Youth Reformatory, newbie nurse Lizzy enters the facility in hopes of making a difference for the crazies, especially the children. Easier said than done though as some of the institutionalized are violent deviants, but she remains slightly optimistic as she did encounter some kinder nut cases, more precisely one troubled but caring Jake and a huge bipolar Bud.

That night, all hell breaks loose when Verna walks into the asylum, demanding to see Jed. As it turns out, she scrapped enough money to buy a lawyer and paperwork allowing her to check up on her boy, but when the head of the institution refuses, she decided to get even by unlocking the doors and releasing all of the patients in a murderous frenzy while she looks for her son. Out of the carnage escapes murderous thug Ike and his equally insane girlfriend Clarice, who tagged along Bud (who saved Ike from an electroshock session) and kidnaps Lizzy and Jake as leverage.

Now, this is where the movie is supposed to work its little gimmick; technically, one of the three boys here is supposed to be Jed Sawyer, heavily treated to the point that he doesn't remember who he was and brainwashed into believing an alternative ego. This is a fine game to play and all but the execution itself doesn't seem to be anywhere that interested playing it with us.

Truth be told, the so-called mystery of who will become our infamous chainsaw-wielding Leatherface isn't that strong, with the only connections this film made with the slasher franchise was the "Sawyer" name, the bone furniture and decorations at the last act of the film, and that one scene before the ending credits where Jed, reunited with his family, making his first mask, all of which making up a third of the film. Instead, throughout the movie, we watch Ike and his girlfriend rampage through rural Texas with a killing spree and other devious activities (like necrophilia. eugh), all the while Jake and Lizzy repeatedly attempts to escape them and a murderous posse of police, and Bud simply just stands there being a lumbering oaf who follows orders, if not being mistreated for being, well, an oaf. In fact, one would have guessed that once the word broke out that some mental nuts who may or may not include Jed Sawyer escaped, Verna and her clan will get out there and start joining the hunt in hopes of getting their youngest member back, but nope; the Sawyers simply sit back at their old barn feeding pigs murdered victims and just waiting for Jed to magically find his way back home, only doing something after one of the more snitchy cops decided to tell on them.

This meant that, among all of the movies in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise, Leatherface felt a bit forced as a prequel and the least like a slasher, or a horror movie for most of its parts, and more of a very violent crime drama in the vein of Rob Zombie's The Devil's Rejects (2005) or even Natural Born Killers (1994), complete with a vengeful law enforcer who's out to get Jed and make him pay for killing his daughter, doing (and himself murdering) whatever he can just for that chance. Cut off Leatherface's ties with the Texas Chainsaw franchise and it could have been an original thriller of its own in-movie universe. (Heck, if I remember it right, Drayton didn't find killing all that fun and prefers to be in the kitchen in the 1974 movie. Maybe he figured that out later in his adult life?) Now, does this make it a terrible movie?

Well, to be fair, there is enough horrific imagery and chaotic madness to satisfy some viewers, that I can tell. It's nothing new given the comparison I've made between this and Rob Zombie's opus The Devil's Rejects, but Leatherface has to be commended for capturing the gritty 70s grindhouse exploitation feel, highlighting violent crimes and abusive authority figures as a mean to scare, if not upset us, and it still knows its slasher roots to deliver enough bloodshed and bodycount for those eyeing for something red and sticky.

The film's copious amount of murdering are done away with impressive practical effects, though it is noticeable that the murders have a tendency to stick more along a realistic tone from simple strangulation and beatings, to violent shootings and stabbings, all committed by a series of people against one another rather than by a single killer. (or cannibal group acting as one) Those who are expecting a series of chainsaw deaths would be disappointed (or not) as those were reserved to the very last act of the film. Those scenes did made decent slices of human meat but a bit lacklustre seeing how the boy who ended up being our Leatherface doesn't look anywhere as threatening or impressive.

Instead, the threat factor goes to Ike and Clarice, whose vulgar and sadistic nature made them more interesting villains than the Sawyer clan and the vengeful sheriff combined, showing no boundaries on their crazy, nor any remorse on the crimes they commit. I even would go and say that these screwed-up lovebirds could go toe-to-toe with the ranks of Natural Born Killers' Mickey and Mallory on the crazy couple category if given the chance but, seeing the supposed focus of the movie is a pre-TCM Leatherface, their unrestrained craziness made it too obvious that one of them ain't Jed, thus giving them the same odds of being killed off as the rest of the casts. (Who were pale in comparison to these two, this including Lizzy, our supposed final girl who does very little to get herself out of this nightmare. Not a good sign, people.)

With a decent looking production value and edgy plot flow, Leatherface is a half way decent movie for those who loves bloody crime thrillers and horror fans who are open to out-of-the-box ideas in their movie franchises. I guess the point of this movie being a prequel to the Southern fried classic proto-slasher gave it enough open probabilities to do more than just another slasher movie and I respect that, but I guess I've seen (and re-watched) enough "on the run and on the road" serial killer flicks to feel this film's approach to be predictable and underwhelming. Still, don't let me stop you from trying this movie out, but keep the expectations low for any prize winning "barbecues".

Bodycount:
1 male brained with a sledgehammer
1 female crushed by a dropped tractor engine
1 male strangled and punched on the head, killed (?)
1 male pounded to death (?)
1 female strangled with her own hair
1 male beaten dead through a window
1 male beaten to death
1 female repeatedly slashed on the mouth with a razor
1 male stomped to death
1 wheelchair bound victim thrown through a window, falls to their death
1 male stabbed on the neck with a steak knife
1 male shot
1 male shot on the head
1 female shot on the face with a shotgun
1 male found hanged dead and rotting
1 male had his head stomped against a tree stump
1 female shot on the head
1 male shot on the head
1 male beaten to death against a car door
1 male repeatedly knifed, fed to pigs
1 male eviscerated with a chainsaw
1 female decapitated with a chainsaw
Total: 22 (?)

Random Posts: Upcoming Slashers and what I think about them. Part 2.

So far, the horror offerings from 2017 seems pretty alright if you know where to look; I found new cult favorites under a Lovecraftian nightmare called The Void, the sci-fright anthology Galaxy of Horrors and a satirical black comedy-slash-thriller called Get Out, but I also have to deal with half-and-half entries like The Evil Within and Don't Hang Up, as well as shitty dumps like The Bye Bye Man and Rings.

But when it comes to slashers, I have to admit we're lacking on that department, so I like to keep my eye out on potential bodycount titles and here are some likely candidates. So just to break out of the norm (kinda), here's be my thoughts on these upcoming attractions. Again.

Note: I'm sure there are a lot of other upcoming slashers and bodycount thrillers out there that I'm gonna miss for this list but I like to keep this post narrowed down to the titles that interest me the most. I might do another one of these if I ever gathered enough bodycount titles that catches my attention.

Jackals (2017)

Plot: Set in the 1980s, an estranged family hires a cult deprogrammer to take back their teenage son from a murderous cult, but find themselves under siege when the cultists surround their cabin, demanding the boy back.

My Thoughts: I love a good siege/home invasion hybrid and this sounds wonderfully promising. I'm also a sucker for animal-masked killers so that's always something to look forward to on my book!

Leatherface (2017)

Plot: Prequel about teenage Leatherface who escapes from a mental hospital with three other inmates, kidnaps a young nurse and takes her on a road trip from hell. Along the way, they are pursued by an equally deranged lawman out for revenge.

My Thoughts: Didn't we already have a film in the TCM franchise called "Leatherface"? I believe it was Part III. Eitherways, I'm not really that excited about this considering the last attempt made for a modern Texas Chainsaw Massacre film was a mixed bag for me and I really don't think exploring "Bubba's" past is all that necessary. Maybe I'll look into this one just for the kick of it and/or to see if it does hold up.

The House That Jack Built (2017)

Plot: The story follows Jack, a highly intelligent serial killer over the course of 12 years and depicts the murders that truly develop Jack as a serial killer.

My Thoughts: Much like Leatherface, I believe we already have a film called The House That Jack Built back at 2010 and my memory of it was more on the "Meh" line. Technically this is another movie going by that title and, for all truthfulness' sake, I'm not excited. I got a "The Boy" feeling out of this one and I'm not talking about the one with the creepy doll, but rather that painfully slow and lifeless burner that everybody else seem to like...

Clownface (2017)

Plot: A deranged serial killer known as “Clownface” terrorises the residents of a small town.

My Thoughts: As much as I love clowns, this one doesn't look all that interesting, either. The minimalist plot doesn't help it peak my interest as well and I have this uneasy feeling it's going to be somewhere around the line of "Pitchfork"-level of disappointment. Here's hoping I am wrong.

Garden Party Massacre (2017)

Plot: A gathering of friends goes awry when an uninvited guest appears. With a pickax. And an attitude.

My Thoughts: So far, the trailer shows a relatively cheap movie but with, as the plot have it, an attitude. Not gonna lie, I might look into this one and here's hoping it will be hilarious.

Cut Shoot Kill (2017)

Plot: Serena Brooks, an ambitious young actress, signs on as the star of a horror film with a crew of backwoods filmmakers that have worked together for years. When the cast starts disappearing, Serena has to become her character if she wants to survive.

My Thoughts: The trailer shows it is decently budgeted and it's going to be one of those Meta-horror flicks. Not gonna lie, I can see one or two ways this movie's plot will go, but I guess I'll be adding this one in my watch list just to see if this flick will surprise me.

Cult of Chcky (2017)

Plot: Chucky returns to terrorize his human victim, Nica. Meanwhile, the killer doll has some scores to settle with his old enemies, with the help of his former wife.

My Thoughts: A part of me wants to be excited about this, but another part of me felt a bit worn out. I cannot explain it, but the very fact that the Child's Play franchise is heading to DTV shenanigans kinda reminds me of the hit-and-miss qualities of the SAW sequels after Part III, or the Hellraiser movies after Bloodlines. Though, this entry seems to hint a showdown between Tiffany and Andy, two important characters in the Child's Play lore. Perhaps it can be good?

Nail Gun Massacre (2018)

Plot: No plot, but it is a remake of one of my 80s guilty pleasure slasher and it is to be directed Robert Green Hall of Laid to Rest (2009) and it's sequel.

My Thoughts: No trailers too but, cuss, it's cussing Nail Gun Massacre! To be done by the same guy who directed my fave bloody chase movie Laid To Rest! That's face-sliced, heads-blown off, gooey bloody Laid To Rest. Why the hell not?

Party Night (2017)

Plot: Six friends become prey for a sadistic psychopath when they decide to ditch their high school’s after prom party for their own celebration at a secluded house…

My Thoughts: the shaky handheld cam quality of the trailer more or less foretells yet another generic uninvited murderer in party scenario. Not really excited with this one.

The Tombs: Rise of The Damned (UK, 2017)

Plot: A group of celebrities attend a press gala at the world famous London Tombs tourist attraction. What starts as a night of fun and fright turns into a night of tension and terror when evil spirits of the Damned seize control of the animatronics to wreak havoc on their subjects. Celebrity status cannot rescue them from the unspeakable horror that lurks in the darkness…

My Thoughts: No trailers, but I am liking the plot of killer animatronics so long as it doesn't go into Five Nights At Freddy's territory. I understand the success of that game but I do not understand the fandom...

Gutterballs 2: Balls Deep (2015?)

Plot: No plot but IMDB claims this thing's been out since 2015...whaaaaat?

My Thoughts: Dude, is this, like, in distribution limbo? I love the first Gutterballs and I don't mind seeing this sequel! I've been living under a rock so somebody please tell me!

~~~

And there be my thoughts on these upcoming bodycounters. Is there a particular slasher you are excited about or that I missed? Feel free to let me know about it and I'll see what I think of it! until then, see you guys later! I need to hunt down a loon with a bowling ball bag over his head...