Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Mr. Goodnight for the night: See No Evil (2006)

See No Evil (2006)
Rating: ***
Starring: Glenn Jacobs, Christina Vidal and Michael J. Pagan

While I'm not an overall fan of WWE, I do find it amusing to see these "actors" do their theatricals outside the ring and into the screen. A handful of them have gone to notable success (Dwayne The Rock Johnson and Hulk Hogan did pretty well for themselves), while the rest took their talent to smaller scales of entertainment, such as this killer flick of moderate proportions.

Starring Glenn Thomas Jacobs (AKA "Kane") as serial killer Jacob Goodnight, who years ago had his hideout busted by a couple of cops. Finding the place a littered mess with religious imagery tainted with blood and grit, the two also discovers a blinded girl, eyes torn out from her sockets, before one of them gets hacked to death with an axe by Jacob himself. Shooting the maniac in the head, Frank, the surviving cop, makes it alive with only a missing hand and Jacob was never heard of again...

Moving a four years ahead, Frank is now escorting a group of delinquents, including two potential final girls Kira (Samantha Noble) and Christine (Christina Vidal), to clean and fix a run-down hotel for community service in exchange of reducing their sentences. What they didn't know is that the hotel happens to be the same hiding spot of a more-than-alive Goodnight. Rigging the place with one-way mirrors and trip wires, he systematically hooks, kill and gouge out eyeballs for his collection, while the frightened (well, some are) teens fight for their lives.

See No evil is really no more than simplicity. It's not anything big, but if it's gonna be anywhere, it'll be its tirades of cliches. Ranging from a predictable paint-by-number storytelling to one-dimensional casts and the usual "twist", WWE Film's first release is all but new. Even Kane's Goodnight character is a little cliched; obviously influenced by Jason, his mama-treatment just got a tad more traumatic as his past is haunted by humiliation and torture from a zealous mother, shaping him into "God's hand of judgement", whatever that means. What was wasted on production and marketing, makes it up with some worthwhile gory murders, torment, a really intimidating villain/s (despite their shortcomings), a grittingly effective location and pure popcorn cinema traits. It's entertaining still, in a very basic and thought-absent way, so far the only thing that actually got it running in the first place. It has a few dull point but its quick pace left no dragging moments, and the acting and camera work are neat all the way.

I can't really say anything more about this film, its basically just your average slasher film. Gory and messy, but still very mediocre. Worthwhile a rent whenever it hits you.

1 male hacked to death with axe
1 male found with missing eyes
1 female had her head hit within an elevator, eyes gouged
1 male gets a hook to the jaw, eyes gouged
1 male had his eyes gouged
1 male killed, eyes gouged
1 female mauled to death by dogs
1 female force fed with cellphone, choked
1 male crushed to death with safe
1 female had an eye gouged, presumably killed (flashback)
1 elderly female thrown to spikes, impaled
Total: 11


  1. I may check this one out - I also like the WWE guys when they leave the ring more than I do when they're in the ring!

    1. Had you seen Wrestlemaniac, then? It's like this only in a desert, in mexico, against a masked wrestler and much, much more thinner in plotting.

  2. OMG, I hated this one. It was so bloody dumb, it's unbelievable. Gave it 2 stars out of 10. Great review though. :)

    1. well, bloody dumbness always had its way with me, especially if they do it right. Thanks!