tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32386092312105262562024-03-17T14:24:37.149+08:00Sticky Red: A Bodycount CompendiumReviewing Cinema's Mass Murder and MurderersKaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.comBlogger1595125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-78234444062381470392024-03-10T11:25:00.001+08:002024-03-10T11:25:59.474+08:00El Machete Satánico: The Curse of El Charro (2005) <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPTvw-KDLbFIOkDtRTwk-0rIq9MDieGilimaa7xo4_YCK-MNvzfxEzwg3X6O_YZKV8hlo_KCwgAqp1ENxBXJdvbhc65SeSHqGeUByMfyIfpl-HeSRu80o3EjHoUVglxXY_tpyLs1nv2OZu2QE38jb1lC5xw_2Y3fwwDtvY8uQbtCj_iMw8-Gr9rKOfcX4/s640/The%20Curse%20of%20El%20Charro%20(2005).mp4_000254200.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="352" data-original-width="640" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPTvw-KDLbFIOkDtRTwk-0rIq9MDieGilimaa7xo4_YCK-MNvzfxEzwg3X6O_YZKV8hlo_KCwgAqp1ENxBXJdvbhc65SeSHqGeUByMfyIfpl-HeSRu80o3EjHoUVglxXY_tpyLs1nv2OZu2QE38jb1lC5xw_2Y3fwwDtvY8uQbtCj_iMw8-Gr9rKOfcX4/w400-h220/The%20Curse%20of%20El%20Charro%20(2005).mp4_000254200.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>The Curse of El Charro (2005)<div>Rating: **1/2</div><div>Starring: Andrew Bryniarski, Danny Trejo, Drew Mia</div><div><br /></div><div>Suffering from nightmares and bloody visions of a dark machete-wielding figure ever since she found her sister dead from suicide a year ago, Maria accepts an invitation from her roommate Chris to join her and her two friends, Tanya and Rose, at her uncle’s house in Saguaro, Arizona for some good old-fashioned debauchery, hopefully to get her mind off these ghoulish visages and relax a bit. Unbeknownst to her, these visions foreshadow a terrible fate upon her and her friends as Maria is actually a descendent of a girl from Saguaro who was terrorized and cursed by a wealthy yet diabolical land baron, El Charro, after she rejected his love for her. Now, El Charro wanders Saguaro as a murderous revenant, seeking to finish off the bloodline of the girl who broke his heart and he's going to do the same to just about anyone who gets in his way.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLDJ7v4Kg-gCCoLZS3kEoOufuIzDW5aAVTYQYpuzNySvz53aF6dkjdKiQdmop3MVZldF4_UrMWg8f8uSElgfUJ1ynRzw0DLmN-ScK4AejMRZpgsH4nsWZCU5YN0AO1hu1kwIQSDhGQNEekxU_efgWqIrKu3S1SBBrlUKgH4etq4sGn7jqhKv3WtY5EP1o/s1912/The%20Curse%20of%20El%20Charro%20(2005).mp4_000138720.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="702" data-original-width="1912" height="146" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLDJ7v4Kg-gCCoLZS3kEoOufuIzDW5aAVTYQYpuzNySvz53aF6dkjdKiQdmop3MVZldF4_UrMWg8f8uSElgfUJ1ynRzw0DLmN-ScK4AejMRZpgsH4nsWZCU5YN0AO1hu1kwIQSDhGQNEekxU_efgWqIrKu3S1SBBrlUKgH4etq4sGn7jqhKv3WtY5EP1o/w400-h146/The%20Curse%20of%20El%20Charro%20(2005).mp4_000138720.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Or is simply in his way. As most undead murderers do. </div><div><br /></div><div>I wanted to like <b>The Curse of El Charro (2005)</b> a little more than your average slasher flick as it does have an interesting premise and some very artsy direction when it comes to its visuals, particularly during scenes involving horrifying visions and surreal nightmares. The mostly one-dimensional characters, though, as well as the fact that the plot really takes a while to get to the bloody massacre does test one's patience and knock the peg down a bit. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmAzzwmY4ft7syENfrVPp1ieiQClSDlxfmwKqfpYq8ZmaQ_kGly9_XeiIFht76lXbqZMMXHF68mqmkOB6qAieE1eqALCPYvv61bB19xDXcFIvyQS2mLt22bIuLWWGvsrKONXeW4bXh51CGluA2mkYNOYMVBPkzkNiukQNnq9jrYZyIMgchb3cnSbgYQlQ/s1908/The%20Curse%20of%20El%20Charro%20(2005).mp4_002135000.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="1908" height="146" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmAzzwmY4ft7syENfrVPp1ieiQClSDlxfmwKqfpYq8ZmaQ_kGly9_XeiIFht76lXbqZMMXHF68mqmkOB6qAieE1eqALCPYvv61bB19xDXcFIvyQS2mLt22bIuLWWGvsrKONXeW4bXh51CGluA2mkYNOYMVBPkzkNiukQNnq9jrYZyIMgchb3cnSbgYQlQ/w400-h146/The%20Curse%20of%20El%20Charro%20(2005).mp4_002135000.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />The movie firstly spends a good deal of the its run on the girls' road trip misadventures like trying to seduce a horny cop into not busting them for speeding, encountering creepy rednecks at a dingy bar where the main attraction for the night is Lemmy Kilmister as a tuxedo-wearing crippled guy singing horribly off key, or picking up some guy dates who we all know are just there to boost up the bodycount, all the while our lead gal Maria's otherworldly trances kick in and out to keep things spooky. It isn't until the last act that our villain, the dirty poncho-wearing, mad machete-swinging El Charro finally waltzes in to do some murdering and, for its worth, the massacre is a messy yet respectable affair with a generous amount of blood work and sloppy body parts. The ending does veer into the outrageously silly with a downer of a swing, but at least it got a little chuckle out of me.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0GuSiQIVn_3-9vFWfpda6_P88nNQF7d9iSa9eAl6JImNMjHeiPMIk5HTmqol9O0-NAXiRUVqDC6CW8lIIiCC09jii4ZjMrtvzx1xcV_gIDKG7auL8L2-QyjwEze1Og7e6hFXE1bMj7nQr-d9gJ_4yhZZGDtfJ03B5-mD997_ekkBtq49EjnQQRc9amLY/s1900/The%20Curse%20of%20El%20Charro%20(2005).mp4_004788200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="351" data-original-width="1900" height="74" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0GuSiQIVn_3-9vFWfpda6_P88nNQF7d9iSa9eAl6JImNMjHeiPMIk5HTmqol9O0-NAXiRUVqDC6CW8lIIiCC09jii4ZjMrtvzx1xcV_gIDKG7auL8L2-QyjwEze1Og7e6hFXE1bMj7nQr-d9gJ_4yhZZGDtfJ03B5-mD997_ekkBtq49EjnQQRc9amLY/w400-h74/The%20Curse%20of%20El%20Charro%20(2005).mp4_004788200.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Bluntly, <b>The Curse of El Charro (2005)</b> is okay-ish. It certainly could've been better, but it's far from being completely awful. (I mean, it has Danny Trejo voicing El Charro. That has to count for something, right?) Pretty plain for a slasher flick and that's about the gist of it. </div><div><br /></div><div>Bodycount:</div><div>1 female seen dead from slit wrists (flashback)</div><div>1 female killed with a machete (flashback)</div><div>1 female killed with a machete (flashback)</div><div>1 male hanged on a noose (flashback)</div><div>1 female decapitated with a machete</div><div>1 male hacked to death with a machete</div><div>1 male slashed across the face with a machete</div><div>1 female had her jaw torn off</div><div>1 female had her throat slashed with a machete</div><div>1 female hacked to death with a machete</div><div>1 male decapitated offscreen, blood splash seen</div><div>1 female dragged away, killed offscreen</div><div>1 male hacked to death with a machete, decapitated</div><div>Total: 13</div>Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-72867256422097940062024-03-06T15:25:00.000+08:002024-03-06T15:25:39.346+08:00This is The Whack of Undertaker Zach: The Embalmer (1996) <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihUC9bqrpLBLw1nClHZ7AoOsOqfW7Mia4GXc3LxW98TR-7OBBRe5y7UeReWWgKHbHfMvVfd_Cl1hBD5W-07CkMBYmioXibhklNgeCM_6Rtoq4iPUUs96lBJ2sU-rTJnLn8L45WL_5t2Fkk7-f5RY7quN_nn5H3xnQPt_XjWMexH3-_GS6Oq5dEdRkL5Ks/s472/The%20Embalmer%20(1996).mp4_000352810.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="472" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihUC9bqrpLBLw1nClHZ7AoOsOqfW7Mia4GXc3LxW98TR-7OBBRe5y7UeReWWgKHbHfMvVfd_Cl1hBD5W-07CkMBYmioXibhklNgeCM_6Rtoq4iPUUs96lBJ2sU-rTJnLn8L45WL_5t2Fkk7-f5RY7quN_nn5H3xnQPt_XjWMexH3-_GS6Oq5dEdRkL5Ks/w400-h305/The%20Embalmer%20(1996).mp4_000352810.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>The Embalmer (1996)<div>Rating: **</div><div>Starring: Jennifer T. Kelly, Kenneth E. Mullen, Myron Creek</div><div><br /></div><div><div><i>Tell you a story about Undertaker Zach.</i></div><div><i>He killed his wife with a whack, whack, whack!</i></div><div><i>His daughter started cryin’ ’cause her mama was dead;</i></div><div><i>He shut her up by choppin’ off her head.</i></div></div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqrPC4TS6REB0_py5n1rLJEvaOgX8eNSqQJreIndUmnAtxXLCnruv-un3kkinIX24pJoCHiMbN9k4Ml-rjZvMrOTzXloloewxBSF_iRldfLXsMFz-2RIglEQxzbBwaftIfsMhtluU6rmggsBkA0U-DwSVVYucHTIs7RrFvrAOrbEyy1-dcHX51HGpbc1I/s1883/The%20Embalmer%20(1996).mp4_000288746.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="1883" height="61" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqrPC4TS6REB0_py5n1rLJEvaOgX8eNSqQJreIndUmnAtxXLCnruv-un3kkinIX24pJoCHiMbN9k4Ml-rjZvMrOTzXloloewxBSF_iRldfLXsMFz-2RIglEQxzbBwaftIfsMhtluU6rmggsBkA0U-DwSVVYucHTIs7RrFvrAOrbEyy1-dcHX51HGpbc1I/w320-h61/The%20Embalmer%20(1996).mp4_000288746.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Life at home isn't good for Chiffon (real name Laura), not with her folks practically making a slave out of her, ordering her to do laundry, fetch beer and change TV channels using the dial before getting angry at her for blocking the damn screen. One night, though, this troubling sight got out of hand and next thing we see is that Chiffon's kicked out from her own house. Distressed, she calls her boyfriend Duane to pick her up after explaining what happened, who in turn calls his bud Archie to help them out as a favor and the guy tagged along his girlfriend Cindi because why the hell not? The gang basically decided to run away from their crappy lives that evening but, after running a red light, they got a little trouble with the law and got chased into hiding inside an abandoned house's garage. </div><div><br /></div><div>The stunt, unfortunately, killed the car's battery and the teens find out that not only did they lock themselves in by accident, but the house also once belonged to Dr. Zachary Harbotswood, AKA Undertaker Zach, a local urban legend who's known to have murdered his wife and daughter during a psychotic episode. Chiffon doesn't like this fact at all seeing she used to have nightmares about this place as a kid, but with no other plan at hand on how they'll get out of the house, the gang opted to stay put and just deal with the situation until they figure something out.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6IHJLRggXaSd77KjPfqyGfz6WLgE6wHAF2yd39tvJpgF5zhdtPIPzf80dKGmxvwLZRHqyuUwTYOZbwTlWVcG0UITpHSA5l_ScqFQPHMWclLlyOS7V_WgyaSt3VHQgthmahebDvF222uDrv8IXaslTZdg6gMk72qJIjvrMkklCFT25TqA4JYGbHxo_fFo/s1879/The%20Embalmer%20(1996).mp4_002303467.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="1879" height="61" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6IHJLRggXaSd77KjPfqyGfz6WLgE6wHAF2yd39tvJpgF5zhdtPIPzf80dKGmxvwLZRHqyuUwTYOZbwTlWVcG0UITpHSA5l_ScqFQPHMWclLlyOS7V_WgyaSt3VHQgthmahebDvF222uDrv8IXaslTZdg6gMk72qJIjvrMkklCFT25TqA4JYGbHxo_fFo/s320/The%20Embalmer%20(1996).mp4_002303467.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Badly acted melodrama here, a tame sex scene there, maybe even throw in a last minute nightmare sequence involving <i>big snakes</i> (both literally and figuratively), the foursome eventually encounters Undertaker Zach in the flesh, as well as a nasty little secret hidden down in the basement...</div><div><br /></div><div>In a way, it's not hard to picture why this low-budget regional urban horror is so below the radar as instead of your typical bodycounter plot of murdered horny teens and angry maniacs, <b>The Embalmer (1996)</b> dragged its focus more on the somber schmaltz going on with our lead girl life, which frankly would have worked with the genuinely dark and uneasy issues tackled like trauma, child abuse and sexual assault, if only the tone and direction were anywhere as competent. It's simply difficult to buy into the seriousness of the subjects when most of the casts act their parts and deliver their lines like your everyday B-grade horror fodders, which can be either hilarious or bothersome, though I will give actress Jennifer T. Kelly for putting more effort in her role as the troubled main gal, Chiffon. Couple these with the usual talk of the killer's lore and sexy times under the sheets, and the film essentially yapped its way through a really clumsy and sloppy midsection.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKeDm6r6xK3-mJt8ReJANjcSwejXIFLfrW4qbp4YP13PIzS4jzrHEIABwdZfgsyQzgXMhhHfw_T3N0_oihDeYApv0hlI2LqukNjvWv7qpfHfLYxB6nP5ttIxPR01AgrBhX4ytsn8nqBVbZkgHuqfK9cdKagP90qWk1isFWpdc_7PwChPIWtDRJHngT9Y4/s1414/The%20Embalmer%20(1996).mp4_003915578.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="359" data-original-width="1414" height="81" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKeDm6r6xK3-mJt8ReJANjcSwejXIFLfrW4qbp4YP13PIzS4jzrHEIABwdZfgsyQzgXMhhHfw_T3N0_oihDeYApv0hlI2LqukNjvWv7qpfHfLYxB6nP5ttIxPR01AgrBhX4ytsn8nqBVbZkgHuqfK9cdKagP90qWk1isFWpdc_7PwChPIWtDRJHngT9Y4/s320/The%20Embalmer%20(1996).mp4_003915578.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Thankfully, the last twenty-some minutes picked up greatly as this is where the slasher elements kick in with a few good gore effects given the budget and, too, a fairly decent twist reveal that nicely leads to a surprisingly effective and satisfying conclusion that I didn't entirely see coming. It's a good enough take on the teen slasher set-up, one that kinda gives <b>The Embalmer (1996)</b> the potential to be a tolerable watch given, that is, you could overlook the distracting low cost production and the slow lumpy road. All in all, it's nowhere near being a real gem of a find, but it is an adequately interesting time waster should you ever need one. </div><div><br /></div><div>Bodycount:</div><div>1 female slaughtered to death with a scalpel</div><div>1 girl hacked to death with a meat cleaver</div><div>1 male castrated with a knife, brained to death with a hammer</div><div>1 female stabbed to death with a scalpel</div><div>1 male had his throat cut with a scalpel</div><div>1 male and 1 female killed offscreen with a knife</div><div>Total: 7</div>Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-31736764077268083152024-03-06T00:33:00.003+08:002024-03-06T00:36:27.461+08:00Blood-Splattered Saw Dust: The Carpenter (1988) <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZOzkFzDeo9tY8-nV4g8rbXOm2Mh4AA-AvdNLQ_b1DDj5DCNwkjriR03WW4kf3fcKywbhPjiuLHsWZzqdrup-y0c6kxXolyWZSk4ZnTvTOkz4MRNHKhSSNSdHa-Mrs_0oEr3E9h7Vmc3NaixOKWmUzPILGOxqQsXAKnIsLMYHxjyPi01nZXEEqUsvNgrU/s1889/Screenshot_20240305_195710_YouTube.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1889" height="229" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZOzkFzDeo9tY8-nV4g8rbXOm2Mh4AA-AvdNLQ_b1DDj5DCNwkjriR03WW4kf3fcKywbhPjiuLHsWZzqdrup-y0c6kxXolyWZSk4ZnTvTOkz4MRNHKhSSNSdHa-Mrs_0oEr3E9h7Vmc3NaixOKWmUzPILGOxqQsXAKnIsLMYHxjyPi01nZXEEqUsvNgrU/w400-h229/Screenshot_20240305_195710_YouTube.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>The Carpenter (Canada, 1988)<div>Rating: ***</div><div>Starring: Wings Hauser, Lynne Adams, Pierre Lenoir</div><div><br /></div><div>Canada in the 80s pretty much gave us a good deal of golden age slasher cult classics like <b>My Bloody Valentine (1981)</b>, <b>Happy Birthday To Me (1981)</b> and <b>Prom Night (1980)</b>, but the country also brought upon a platter of weird ventures within the sub-genre such as the <i>Dungeons and Dragons is Satanic</i>-inspired <b>Skullduggery (1983)</b>, the "Wendigo psychosis" leaning <b>Ghostkeeper (1983)</b> and this oddly surreal melodramatic bodycounter, <b>The Carpenter (1988)</b>. </div><div><br /></div><div>The movie starts with the chillingly calm mental and emotional breakdown of housewife Alice Jarrett (Lynne Adams), who soon sees herself being taken away to a mental facility after her husband Martin (Pierre Lenoir) finds her cutting up one of his suits one day. Upon her release, Martin believes that a change of scenery is in order so he bought them a house at a countryside that's currently being worked on by cheap and rowdy construction crew. That night, though, after the workers gone home, Alice is awaken by a lone carpenter (Wings Hauser) still busying himself down in the basement and the two have an unusually cordial conversation about his work, ending with Alice pretty much just leaving the guy to do whatever he needs to fix up the place.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj07e40h4t9MtdwxjDkXB9kxClz7UzDXoL78_hWNkoeap3cijo5SLsWLFYNLU129c8ZUvrpjs3bLE5bnIbX5sQsVM7mZ237v4Ar3vW3PrSfKcZFLBZkiw8cSFndLNiUT1nRetuYC_Tl_yJWwjYSMQqOxSXQTuyk1UHu9tHoX0Nm7pi7Fn1jMzElbWhse6U/s5708/Screenshot_20240305_195841_YouTube.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="5708" height="76" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj07e40h4t9MtdwxjDkXB9kxClz7UzDXoL78_hWNkoeap3cijo5SLsWLFYNLU129c8ZUvrpjs3bLE5bnIbX5sQsVM7mZ237v4Ar3vW3PrSfKcZFLBZkiw8cSFndLNiUT1nRetuYC_Tl_yJWwjYSMQqOxSXQTuyk1UHu9tHoX0Nm7pi7Fn1jMzElbWhse6U/w400-h76/Screenshot_20240305_195841_YouTube.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Things go pretty hairy when Martin leaves for work one day, leaving Alice all on her lonesome when one of the crewmen got more than a tad tipsy drunk that evening and breaks into the house to assault her. Fortunately for our housewife in distress, her friendly neighborhood carpenter is there to protect her. <i>Un</i>fortunately for our would-be rapist, said protection involves getting both of his arms sliced off with a circular saw. (Not that he minds, apparently. He looked more bewilderedly inconvenienced about losing those limbs than, I dunno, in <i>complete, horrifying <b>pain</b></i>!) </div><div><br /></div><div>Alice would soon learn that the house once belonged to a man named Edward Byrd who fell into massive debt in his obsession of making his home perfect, only to be executed after killing several of the repo men sent after him. Edward now haunts the house, still trying to finish it, and Alice is shockingly okay with this! So much so that when Ed starts murdering away more and more of the crewmen who he sees doing wrong to both the house and its new lovely owner, Alice has no qualms of him massacring these people and, in one scene, appears to be more upset at that fact that he's awfully messy with the slayings! </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2_sRz78idn3nGv3mgPRWzEwAW9dqoioWTJNxFesIMPp-qDz7m_gi8C29HK9pXzm_swUviHx4YQGMIYBHja1DVEdsQ17aI16QzYzXsVEFhafdKUfmrmCAMcECIUmRf5F-FXBk_twE8n-ehqDicO31mMX0iIVEd57Dk9QgeBG9qH-bEuBt3TcRAPivAS3Q/s5648/Screenshot_20240305_200609_YouTube.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="5648" height="76" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2_sRz78idn3nGv3mgPRWzEwAW9dqoioWTJNxFesIMPp-qDz7m_gi8C29HK9pXzm_swUviHx4YQGMIYBHja1DVEdsQ17aI16QzYzXsVEFhafdKUfmrmCAMcECIUmRf5F-FXBk_twE8n-ehqDicO31mMX0iIVEd57Dk9QgeBG9qH-bEuBt3TcRAPivAS3Q/w400-h76/Screenshot_20240305_200609_YouTube.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Needless to say, Alice is swooned by Ed's pleasantly hunky demeanor and good work ethics, overlooking the whole homicidal lunacy that goes with the package, and the ghostly carpenter himself returns her infatuation, promising more bloodshed to whoever comes between them. </div><div><br /></div><div>Directed by David Wellington (who would later do a lot of TV work like <b>Vikings</b> and <b>Orphan Black</b>) and written by Doug Taylor (of <b>Splice (2009)</b> and <b>A Christmas Horror Story (2015)</b>), <b>The Carpenter (1988)</b> is a strange piece of 80s Canuxploitation bodycounter that builds itself more around the ghostly theatrics between Lynne Adam's mentally troubled spouse and Wing Hauser's unhinged gentleman of a paranormal handyman, only to juxtapose to the nasty killings here and there in an unusual dream-like direction. The result is often goofy as the supernatural psychodrama doesn't really have the solid footing to be as captivating as the unhealthy growing romance between the living and the undead implies here. Instead, it all comes out more hammy for how it is scripted, acted and edited, all sided with touches of eccentricities like the overuse of dissolves to transition from scene to scene or Alice's overly offbeat reactions, implying a form of crazed whimsy from her point of view. It's serviceable so long as you find the unintentional hilarity of the film's nutty arthouse aesthetic and as a slasher, <b>The Carpenter (1988)</b> ain't too bad.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtaJIhnqHeJEyXTo9VUWDAb2J4W1nL_ZuzSQ5zAzGjsyKoasjW2eV2yoLtwYzLtNZ7WzSVnCglD-3oy2BlCKJoIufYW6r1rwtUq7ng44O_ZJyLvjZherez7x5m04z_ZNZ2IFEFI65q2rk1w9Yc4iozLgMA3RJuiongh9t8SVycwcZly1XvMw7Er5d_MVY/s3772/Screenshot_20240305_201328_YouTube.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="3772" height="115" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtaJIhnqHeJEyXTo9VUWDAb2J4W1nL_ZuzSQ5zAzGjsyKoasjW2eV2yoLtwYzLtNZ7WzSVnCglD-3oy2BlCKJoIufYW6r1rwtUq7ng44O_ZJyLvjZherez7x5m04z_ZNZ2IFEFI65q2rk1w9Yc4iozLgMA3RJuiongh9t8SVycwcZly1XvMw7Er5d_MVY/w400-h115/Screenshot_20240305_201328_YouTube.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />The kills themselves aren't that loud and splashy (strange coming from a film that have power tools for murder weapons, honestly) and the pacing really do takes its time getting around to them, but I have to commend at just how odd the interactions are during and after each murder between Alice and Ed, as if the act of killing is just something the two can do and witness while talking about how good the weather is! It also helps that Wings Hauser is practically tailor-made for his role as the titular carpenter, doing the ole' wisecracking villain trope popularized by one <b>Elm Street's</b> Fred Krueger, only with a good dose of Southern politeness and neighborly sweetness that made a lot of his scenes an intriguing watch. His delivery is spot-on to the craziness of the villain, maniacally dispatching one poor soul a minute, being shy about it in the next. The movie did falter a little in its last act as all the oddities made about Alice being so nonchalant with all of the bloodshed gets discarded way too easily for a by-the-book horror finale, making the fantastical, rather upbeat turn of events feel kinda undeserved for how much it just came out of left field. </div><div><br /></div><div>Still, the majority of the product has some hokey charm to it, making <b>The Carpenter (1988)</b> a decent enough title for lovers of quirky horror and obscure slashers to try out. It's a sublime blend of several moods and ideas, mostly succeeding in its own curious yet entertaining way.</div><div><br /></div><div>Bodycount:</div><div>1 male had his arms cut off with a circular saw, killed</div><div>1 male gets a belt sander to the face</div><div>1 male powerdrilled to the throat</div><div>1 female shot to death with a nail gun</div><div>1 male pinned to the floor with screwdrivers to the hands, head crushed with a vise</div><div>Total: 5</div>Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-34256640388668834492024-02-28T15:15:00.005+08:002024-03-02T14:45:24.324+08:00Demonic. Deadly. Delicious: The Muffin Man (2006)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0xCIykuzuzesoc6oK_39kwIRJEyPG6ASq-Ou0XwfjpyScW_c0CEBzQE4Jj1_miRm2BENS4LYfEv9NR6HH2kFH3g_KcRB2F3YY4ExhGIEjp6ICZ0TOTfnW0CYF4XtgVs2OsZI9Dw-CNInJN-6VlHu2xMzZvY9R2JSDmyR6F0qoRspufhZw3DYZH8arnsI/s1888/Muffin%20Man%20Title.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1888" height="229" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0xCIykuzuzesoc6oK_39kwIRJEyPG6ASq-Ou0XwfjpyScW_c0CEBzQE4Jj1_miRm2BENS4LYfEv9NR6HH2kFH3g_KcRB2F3YY4ExhGIEjp6ICZ0TOTfnW0CYF4XtgVs2OsZI9Dw-CNInJN-6VlHu2xMzZvY9R2JSDmyR6F0qoRspufhZw3DYZH8arnsI/w400-h229/Muffin%20Man%20Title.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>The Muffin Man (2006)<div>Rating: ***</div><div>Starring: Chris Ippolito, Michael Shepherd, Allison Lynch</div><div><br /></div><div>"<i>I'm here to warn you that the entire staff of this donut shop is in danger of being murdered by a homicidal and possibly immortal serial killer. </i><i>Also, I'll have a coffee. Black. And a honey cruller.</i>"</div><div><br /></div><div>Yep. It's one of those movies.</div><div><br /></div><div>In this direct-to-video indie-treat, the scene starts with baker Desmond Bailey decorating some kid's birthday cake with a bowl of fondant purposely contaminated with a not so sweet special ingredient: rat poison. As you would've guessed, our baker is a serial killer who's already responsible for a series of cake poisonings that took the lives of 29 victims and, following the receipts of the tainted cakes, a pair of detectives arrive at Desmond's bakery that night to put a stop to his 'baked bads'. The pastry maker, however, isn't going down without a fight, killing one of the detectives with a hurled tray of muffins (!) before brawling against the other, only for it to end with his head getting covered in dough and shoved into an oven, baking the crazy confectioner to death.</div><div><br /></div><div>This should have been the end of our nightmare-maker baker, but some otherworldly forces out there say otherwise and up rises The Muffin Man, a supernatural being with a bloodlust for anyone involved in bread-based businesses. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzrR9gl7zzCQJdEoUrVNm0dm_khcCDimxuA49tWNxhsM-xUQ52Mu1jWjUsKHAGn8k0oJC53Xc_uwP_SadDnzZPq9iVTvsjnqMd5RgzjDaqVSop-YWwBr1ZgD7Tg9LKH4vxeCni5JxSRkdnWyWJfCuALzt5p3ihuCovbfIzaZ8EfnPAapWCjjcRGrOxyqg/s3772/Screenshot_20240224_073006_VLC.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="3772" height="115" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzrR9gl7zzCQJdEoUrVNm0dm_khcCDimxuA49tWNxhsM-xUQ52Mu1jWjUsKHAGn8k0oJC53Xc_uwP_SadDnzZPq9iVTvsjnqMd5RgzjDaqVSop-YWwBr1ZgD7Tg9LKH4vxeCni5JxSRkdnWyWJfCuALzt5p3ihuCovbfIzaZ8EfnPAapWCjjcRGrOxyqg/w400-h115/Screenshot_20240224_073006_VLC.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Flash-forward five years later, the staff of a small donut shop, <i>Gonuts Donuts,</i> (where '<i>you'll go nuts for their donuts!</i>') gets a visit from the surviving detective, Hank Egger, now grizzled after tailing the Muffin Man throughout its worldwide killing spree. He warns them of the arrival of the supernatural murderer and strongly urges them to close shop early and go home, but as a typical response to horror movie doomsayers, none of the staff takes his tale of an undead killer baker seriously. That is, of course, until The Muffin Man arrives to end them all, with eyes glowing red, demonic voice spewing hellish threats and a giant scrumptious muffin for a head... </div><div><br /></div><div>If you're diving into <b>The Muffin Man (2006)</b> with the mindset that you're about to watch what's basically a live-action horror cartoon revolving around a murderous pastry hacking away dumb people while spewing overly long threats, then you're certainly the kind of people this movie is aiming for as there's no doubt this title is a special brand of fun, nonsensical silliness! It's shlocky, yes, with not-so-stellar acting and characters written to be caricatures of lowbrow employees barely running a small establishment, whisked into a mix of low-budget special effects, sound design and video quality, the resulting mess is still this type of tongue-in-cheek ham and cheese junkfood horror that embraces the goofiness of the premise and it isn't afraid to be a little more outrageous with its zaniness! </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQPPA6Zda8a-e_J8c6PjbSnZfNDRPMPqcvTrY2xy9n9DrYiISaEinN2LsBINOnlEnX252L9OZ37xKsa7safdbM3T1eqQDZVT8LW8HGnzyzd05ORx0_jMLi9S1IDogZe1RgNcp308oWr105ZkjD2I08RUl6ljgUsTQotuJbSea4BXTCM_wqeMPeE-u6KXg/s3792/Screenshot_20240226_113522_VLC.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="3792" height="114" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQPPA6Zda8a-e_J8c6PjbSnZfNDRPMPqcvTrY2xy9n9DrYiISaEinN2LsBINOnlEnX252L9OZ37xKsa7safdbM3T1eqQDZVT8LW8HGnzyzd05ORx0_jMLi9S1IDogZe1RgNcp308oWr105ZkjD2I08RUl6ljgUsTQotuJbSea4BXTCM_wqeMPeE-u6KXg/w400-h114/Screenshot_20240226_113522_VLC.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />As an oddball bodycounter, the baking-themed murder do rely more on caricatured absurdity and belly laughs than chunky gore, with one poor fella getting literally flattened to death with a rolling pin as an example. The titular 'Muffin Man' not only looks the part of a comical killer dough demon with its baker uniform and the humongous, vaguely-humanoid muffin head, but its overly exaggerated evilness apparently comes with lengthy declarations of ungodly torments, some of which awfully sounds like heavy metal verses such as <i>This world has not prepared you for the torment you will know! You're looking at Hell's infernal kitchen!</i></div><div><br /></div><div>All of these in a measly yet satisfying 40 minutes. End credits included. A workable run for a small budget production without completely overcooking its humor.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>The Muffin Man (2006)</b> is a delectably guilty morsel of a mini-flick, one that's charmingly good as a low cost movie about a homicidal hellspawn muffin can be. Fans of weird horror comedies of the cheddary-kind, bite into this one!</div><div><br /></div><div>Bodycount:</div><div>1 male gets a hurled tray of muffins impaled into his chest</div><div>1 male had his head baked inside an oven</div><div>1 male killed offscreen</div><div>1 female drowned in a dumpster bin full of donut grease</div><div>1 male crushed flat with a rolling pin</div><div>1 male stabbed in the head with a pump full of strawberry jelly</div><div>1 female stabbed through the face with a rolling pin</div><div>Total: 7</div>Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-63931585474519328132024-02-24T16:28:00.001+08:002024-02-24T16:28:21.816+08:00Door-To-Door Nightmares: Door (1988) <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYSaGpIUNz0zW7gfP9PfZZ4qc2zo8o37uF6B4k0LYIS-unfkY9YjLI0LE3M3LzncTX4rQC45lCdQuQzqIr6F3D1P6mIfq21I_43NDeWebnw9wLkXirm4a2FfZpz47d9XvYyoN3QLDGFJDMiAKpKXFUQmdHTlYAAe2bxmtZoTe7hTGMVDYAfqKXn1pHKNo/s640/Door%20(1988).mp4_000035160.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="640" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYSaGpIUNz0zW7gfP9PfZZ4qc2zo8o37uF6B4k0LYIS-unfkY9YjLI0LE3M3LzncTX4rQC45lCdQuQzqIr6F3D1P6mIfq21I_43NDeWebnw9wLkXirm4a2FfZpz47d9XvYyoN3QLDGFJDMiAKpKXFUQmdHTlYAAe2bxmtZoTe7hTGMVDYAfqKXn1pHKNo/w400-h225/Door%20(1988).mp4_000035160.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Door (Japan, 1988)<div>Rating: ****</div><div>Starring: Keiko Takahashi, Daijirô Tsutsumi, Shirô Shimomoto</div><div><br /></div><div>Yasuko, a housewife, lives a rather regular life in a high-rise urban apartment with her husband Satoru and young son Takuto, with the only snags in her happy mundane days being Satoru's workaholic tendencies which often have him spending more time in the office, as well as the constant barrage of spam messages from phone calls, mails, and door-to-door sales. Little did she expect, unfortunately, that a particular visit from an uncomfortably forward salesman one day would set off a series of stalking and harassment, hurling Yasuko down a disturbing path of distressing encounters and increasing violence which soon ends in an unsettling and brutal home invasion.</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTOVCiX2m8H4LPC4g_u86nEgRgliFznz8B5-qwhALi6Xp58lhoQqr5oaNiFb5Pq01gswLis4ApfKil_RP7_qedSL0Y1LbEloatatsD9BeXj8GpLyx5kJUDXdtKTzoDd1ko9VQUvLBgxPiKD6geej72JS_wFS9MTMcXImm0GQBYtezMqo0pt7Z2d5QM7K0/s1275/Door%20(1988).mp4_001040080.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="718" data-original-width="1275" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTOVCiX2m8H4LPC4g_u86nEgRgliFznz8B5-qwhALi6Xp58lhoQqr5oaNiFb5Pq01gswLis4ApfKil_RP7_qedSL0Y1LbEloatatsD9BeXj8GpLyx5kJUDXdtKTzoDd1ko9VQUvLBgxPiKD6geej72JS_wFS9MTMcXImm0GQBYtezMqo0pt7Z2d5QM7K0/w400-h225/Door%20(1988).mp4_001040080.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div>Marketed as an extremely rare late-80s home invasion slasher flick that never got a screening outside of Japan until very recently, <b>Door (1988)</b> is more of an Italian giallo-inspired stalker horror that leans towards style and direction rather than an increasing bodycount. The story is simple and straightforward, slowly burning its way from the everyday normalities of a small family, to the sinister scares and creepy set-pieces perpetrated by either our villainous stalker or Yasuko's growing paranoia, all in a pace that's best described as organic. It does take a while to get to the action going, in turn, and a few scenes did feel like they're padding for time, but the build-up is made mostly bearable and captivating thanks to the lurid cinematography and free-floating camera work effectively capturing just how alone and helpless Yasuko is in her predicament. A good portion of visual shots are even done in positions showing wide spaces behind or around certain characters to further convey this sense of isolation, greatly working with the narrative as it soon establishes that Yasuko's husband, Satoru, is essentially neglecting his family being so focused on his job, plus her neighbors would prefer to turn a blind eye to the attacks as they retreat to the safety of their own apartments and the cops are unable to help Yasuko that much as she never got a good look at the salesman so she couldn't provide them a proper description of her stalker. All of these elements melded well to create an intense and atmospheric plot that'll only get more shocking as it reaches its climax.</div><div><br /></div><div>These last 20 minutes of <b>Door (1988)</b> is this movie's cream of the crop, an impressive scattershot of bloodwork and ferocity as Yasuko and her son Takuto, now trapped in their own home, are forced to flee from room to room and fight with whatever they can against a deranged salesman gone full maniac on them, knife at hand on one moment, a roaring chainsaw in the next. Gore makes its welcome presence around these parts, not overly splashy but a gnarly display nonetheless. Cinematographer Yasushi Sasakibara's phenomenal camera work captures the pure chaos and claustrophobic terror in an array of interesting shots, while Junichi Kikuchi's wild editing helps keep the hectic pace of the attacks, juxtaposing with the eerie slow burn that came before. Granted all of these end with a single kill only, the gradual escalation of edge and suspense made the wait all worth it, even more so when the death itself is crazy violent, cathartic in a very macabre way.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho2omhkVIyeacTLr_KPvZsq3U9cms0dpIJ2cSL0bPCBROowEoEnlfiIhaTOfoiXx9us6LAMmd2XHkXrDCSX2IeRwxoSBHa4UGh_TUEXStd9vBhxVxwR2kSU9eLgG18cGbTtI8i_CEKMuN2kaRI2Nz3ZqpOjVM9q2Rn8sAVLIurEOgOYGgMse9Yp91XYTQ/s1278/Door%20(1988).mp4_003641471.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="717" data-original-width="1278" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho2omhkVIyeacTLr_KPvZsq3U9cms0dpIJ2cSL0bPCBROowEoEnlfiIhaTOfoiXx9us6LAMmd2XHkXrDCSX2IeRwxoSBHa4UGh_TUEXStd9vBhxVxwR2kSU9eLgG18cGbTtI8i_CEKMuN2kaRI2Nz3ZqpOjVM9q2Rn8sAVLIurEOgOYGgMse9Yp91XYTQ/w400-h225/Door%20(1988).mp4_003641471.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Keiko Takahashi, wife of <b>Door's</b> director, Banmei Takahashi, carries the film as our lead Yasuko, doing a fantastic job making the character sympathetic enough to make us feel for her during her loneliest and most helpless plights, definitely selling a lot of the film's more crucial moments. In turn, Daijiro Tsutsumi, playing our stalking salesman Yamakawa, lands quite an impression with his transition from a calm yet disturbed creep to a manic madman prone to sexual violence, despite the character having very little background to explain his sudden spiral to depravity. He's simply crazy. Dangerous. Sometimes that's all we need from a good horror villain and Tsutsumi nailed his part.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Door (1988)</b> undoubtedly have most of its bits and pieces working in its favor, resulting to a terror flick that swims in shuddersome unease and nightmarish fear before rewarding us with a bout of thrilling savagery. A psychological horror with grit in its teeth, I say don't miss this one! </div><div><br /></div><div>Bodycount:</div><div>1 male stabbed with a barbecue fork and brained with a bat, nearly decapitated with a chainsaw</div><div>Total: 1</div><div><br /></div>Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-41660904585698309432024-02-12T13:52:00.000+08:002024-02-12T13:52:01.193+08:00The Old Home: Next of Kin (1982)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mNIc4XPB4Rs/WDKUpnE1VfI/AAAAAAAAWRs/0dsBtt1V6lgsXFGMb9FXPR1-i0R79JqnwCLcB/s1600/next%2Bof%2Bkin%2Btitle.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="283" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mNIc4XPB4Rs/WDKUpnE1VfI/AAAAAAAAWRs/0dsBtt1V6lgsXFGMb9FXPR1-i0R79JqnwCLcB/s400/next%2Bof%2Bkin%2Btitle.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Next of Kin (Australia, 1982)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Rating: ****</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Starring: Jacki Kerin, John Jarratt, Alex Scott</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Made and released during Australia's boom of exploitation flicks, this cult classic slasher thriller is an anomaly in aesthetics but well deserving of its status of a genre-defining favorite among many!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Returning back to her home town after receiving news that her dear mother passed away, Linda Stevens (Jacki Kerin) sees herself inheriting Montclare, a gothic yet luxuriant nursing home that her mother and aunt Rita created out of their own manor. Knowing little about the place, Linda entertained the idea of just selling it away and getting on with her life, but seeing the pleasant hostility of the home's head nurse Connie (Gerda Nicolson) and local medic Dr. Barton (Alex Scott), who both have been running the Montclare during the times Linda's mother was ailing, she sensed something rather off about her situation, opting to ponder over her decisions a bit more and maybe even managing the place while she's at it. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvUJVCwbXhz14aHlr20PMe4oyhyphenhyphenGG1Pd1lDfAOGNW8R9JJOkPI6a2WWEMoNjWIRXK2ijuFII1CIYVDS0Dkoui6VLutJI8O7LJE_0uWNSt6KQ_OZCmITnzJ3SVp_RxdtSL3UOvz8m_hL9dckJKDbTm8ISdXMYmZCE98SBnQbfCDWqCOcJ2OcDODphydOno/s3064/Next%20of%20Kin%20(1982).mp4_000906583.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1728" data-original-width="3064" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvUJVCwbXhz14aHlr20PMe4oyhyphenhyphenGG1Pd1lDfAOGNW8R9JJOkPI6a2WWEMoNjWIRXK2ijuFII1CIYVDS0Dkoui6VLutJI8O7LJE_0uWNSt6KQ_OZCmITnzJ3SVp_RxdtSL3UOvz8m_hL9dckJKDbTm8ISdXMYmZCE98SBnQbfCDWqCOcJ2OcDODphydOno/w400-h225/Next%20of%20Kin%20(1982).mp4_000906583.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />When one of the elderly residents is found dead at the bottom of a bathtub one day, Linda's stay in Montclare took a turn for the macabre as she's now catching glimpses of a mysterious figure hanging around the grounds, getting phone calls from someone heavily breathing on the other line, as well as finding sink and baths mysteriously left open to run. Furthermore, she discovers her late-mother's diary detailing something evil lurking within the manor and her aunt's eventual descent into violent madness twenty years ago. When asked about the home's dark past, Dr Barton and Connie decline to speak about the matter, forcing Linda to seek help from a local boy she's romancing named Barney (Pre-<b>Wolf Creek</b> John Jarratt!) in uncovering what's really going on in Montclare...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">To call <b>Next of Kin (1982)</b> a slasher is only true for about a third of the movie as the rest play out more as a slow burn psychological thriller crafted with effectively haunting imagery, stylized scenery, and, too, intriguing characters for the premise to focus on. It's a direction that may not work for most, but the film's steady and controlled pacing undoubtedly help build the story and tension towards a workably dark and gothic mystery behind the enigmatic horrors hidden in Montclare, fleshing out the devil in the details and, too, raising the dread the further the situation deepens. There's a mild surrealist bend to its execution, making use of a good deal of superb camerawork and uncannily eloquent visuals to give this Ozploitation piece a psuedo-supernatural sense in its scares, adding more on its creep factor. In turn, the narrative is well-acted and tainted with low cheese, influenced greatly by the <i>Old Dark House</i> horror outings down to the very tropes of apparent hauntings and suspiciously secretive individuals, with lead actress Jacki Kerin navigating her character through this unraveling plot with a fair range of being warmly nostalgic towards the old town she grew up in and simply downright horrified once a nightmarish turn starts a horrifying killing spree. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimm58OJg4bXxGKi40_Q4wTak1H5Yu6XTNePUC0vqHJnHXgZgcpvAKOndexD1VvLUhdtDvLf7D50CxcT_frAeoCO0Jd1ChMHL_WCLw4QTTe2g_n5HSAYfzQoMT7nUWFrceLRVVkA-Lhtk_1XtlYdkzRCZSxitlA-Rw6WvRpju1XJLqUz8ZJ3j0XPIgYfAE/s3048/Next%20of%20Kin%20(1982).mp4_003255500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1728" data-original-width="3048" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimm58OJg4bXxGKi40_Q4wTak1H5Yu6XTNePUC0vqHJnHXgZgcpvAKOndexD1VvLUhdtDvLf7D50CxcT_frAeoCO0Jd1ChMHL_WCLw4QTTe2g_n5HSAYfzQoMT7nUWFrceLRVVkA-Lhtk_1XtlYdkzRCZSxitlA-Rw6WvRpju1XJLqUz8ZJ3j0XPIgYfAE/w400-h226/Next%20of%20Kin%20(1982).mp4_003255500.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />It isn't until the closing act where the murdering steps in, as a genuinely enthralling reveal sets off a good old fashioned cat-and-mouse stalking and terrifyingly villains on the prowl. It's a rewarding payoff after an hour of build up, one that may have rushed the bodycount since most of the murders were done offcamera, but the striking imagery of the slaughtered bodies do make up for it, plus the overall eeriness of the attacks, done hauntingly through expressive camera work and sound design, are among the most efficient I've seen! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So, not the most carnal slasher out there, but <b>Next of Kin (1982)</b> manages to maintain a noteworthy cult following for just how it stands out in tone and style compared to most other bodycounter horror flicks. It's a genuine horror gem spellbound with a patient yet captivatingly dark storytelling, exploding into a visceral display of tormented realities and murderous psychosis just right before the film meets its reaches its strange yet captivating conclusion. If you're yet to see this, then you owe yourself a viewing of this psychological mini-masterpiece from our friends down under! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Bodycount:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">1 elderly male found dead in a bath tub</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">1 elderly male found drowned in a bath tub (flashback)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">1 female found dead from a slashed throat</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">1 male found murdered, face bloodied </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">1 female found murdered, body seen in bath tub</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">1 male found dead from a head wound and a syringe to the neck, body seen in bath tub</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">1 female stabbed through the eye with a hat pin comb</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">1 male had his head blown off with a shot gun</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Total; 8</div>
Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-27597880560722735442024-01-19T01:36:00.000+08:002024-01-19T01:36:33.624+08:00Beware The Witch's Water: Feed (2022) <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivRAVrZjX8LhMhe5opRrRWlyciMigtuBncHRZ9jW-Vfnnzg6PJL5fP8DE-YooqwcuOddnJZQ_7kG5-klwVSrrlH7I75wu9jU3hBRYQfOQkJQNUGPNrkLDYFSSlNMluhzTt2y1wGqUIQFHiepPuhVbh8VOwwizW1tmJzDSCN3CrZKQzqzVMe-k_hlO2tk0/s1536/Feed.2022.NORDIC.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_000172160.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="646" data-original-width="1536" height="169" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivRAVrZjX8LhMhe5opRrRWlyciMigtuBncHRZ9jW-Vfnnzg6PJL5fP8DE-YooqwcuOddnJZQ_7kG5-klwVSrrlH7I75wu9jU3hBRYQfOQkJQNUGPNrkLDYFSSlNMluhzTt2y1wGqUIQFHiepPuhVbh8VOwwizW1tmJzDSCN3CrZKQzqzVMe-k_hlO2tk0/w400-h169/Feed.2022.NORDIC.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_000172160.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Feed (Sweden, 2022)<div>Rating: ***1/2</div><div>Starring: Vincent Grahl, Sofia Kappel, Annica Liljeblad</div><div><br /></div><div>Hoping to market their experience to countless lifestyle fans online for content and clout, a group of social media influencers set themselves to take a relaxing weekend at an eco-resort curiously located at a small island right in the middle of a lake, all owned by an elderly couple who are more than happy to see their little business getting some attention, maybe enough to hinder a lingering bankruptcy. </div><div><br /></div><div>It's mostly a quaint stay, with the resort being more of a luxurious camp that comes with spacious tents decked with furniture, an outdoor grill, a wood-fired sauna and even its own little legend of a child-devouring witch named Märit, who was forced to wear an iron mask and banished to the very same island back in the 17th century, right before supposedly taking her own life by drowning herself in the lake. The gruesome ghost story have the elderly couple cautioning the group from approaching the water, but it isn't long before the gang would ignore the ominous warning and can't help taking a swim, resulting to one of them to get attacked by <i>something</i> and be horribly maimed. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigWjWrbkKZFZGGv9NJvQ7poS3MlWGwvQMoluHKGxW2EDPLfMqGJzF6u9HYuzqya-Nm-23a06s82Gv382Z9wG7o8v7RMA30wBen5TA0pXvBMWQr5bdD3tG0ZAydYijG9PMIm0xHI6mN9kqzYZ-RyUo55JQI57X_ZKvmsCk3uFAFbXaaKmu1KzsgQy8kKF8/s4592/Feed%20(2022).mp4_000303960.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="644" data-original-width="4592" height="56" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigWjWrbkKZFZGGv9NJvQ7poS3MlWGwvQMoluHKGxW2EDPLfMqGJzF6u9HYuzqya-Nm-23a06s82Gv382Z9wG7o8v7RMA30wBen5TA0pXvBMWQr5bdD3tG0ZAydYijG9PMIm0xHI6mN9kqzYZ-RyUo55JQI57X_ZKvmsCk3uFAFbXaaKmu1KzsgQy8kKF8/w400-h56/Feed%20(2022).mp4_000303960.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />After a rescue attempt by one of the resort owners eerily ends with the old man getting dragged into the water, the group will not only learn in their horror that they're marooned on the island, but there is also something murderous living in this Scandinavian lake that could surface and stalk the island for more victims to take...</div><div><br /></div><div>For a good stretch of the film, <b>Feed (2022)</b> echoes the likes of <b>The Ruins (2008)</b> or even <i>The Raft</i> segment from <b>Creepshow II (1987)</b> with victims-to-be trying to figure out their chances of surviving and escaping the single location they're trapped in without getting their numbers dwindling down further, courtesy of a threat that's hunting them. It makes for an engrossing watch, focusing on the group's uncanny encounters with the water-drenched killer, as well as the risks and lengths they'll do just for that slight chance of salvation which, in turn, opens up a surprising amount of character build-up from a group that was initially introduced as one-dimensional stereotypes of self-absorbed influencers. Add on the matter that the killer itself, the iron-masked Märit, is intriguingly depicted as a rapid wave of water tailing boats and swimmers to drag them down to a watery grave, and, too, as an amphibious figure that can only walk and stalk around wet grounds, a bit of mythos that help build a few decent suspense scenes of our group looking for places around the small island where they can hide from the witch as rain pours down, and you have a backwoods slasher with a rather unique touch to it, throwing in some curveballs to our expectations to keep us on our toes and even some fair scares to boot.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGkkZee2SBFoLviumNcC0qWUeGfzj1D3uy-KAbC-yOaIfn9ARR95MpzhQn5XRFXcrHwMOJfyAfERRhK4Sbu_9Q8K4gq1vUL8phNJDMm0r-lpvojdLk70Kc5LfikVxZWNmDcTXGwQfZgVp4qmKacC053ViDye2288mbxhYWdrrpVUsY7lab0GS56h7HTKE/s4544/Feed%20(2022).mp4_001650800.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="646" data-original-width="4544" height="56" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGkkZee2SBFoLviumNcC0qWUeGfzj1D3uy-KAbC-yOaIfn9ARR95MpzhQn5XRFXcrHwMOJfyAfERRhK4Sbu_9Q8K4gq1vUL8phNJDMm0r-lpvojdLk70Kc5LfikVxZWNmDcTXGwQfZgVp4qmKacC053ViDye2288mbxhYWdrrpVUsY7lab0GS56h7HTKE/w400-h56/Feed%20(2022).mp4_001650800.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />By the time the film reaches it climax, <b>Feed (2022)</b> shifts its gear from seemingly supernatural to something a little more grounded, which is also when the plot piles up on the bodycount as it drops all façade of restraint and go all out on its crazed twist. It's not perfect, leaving a few questions unanswered and even coming off as rather improbable, not to mention wasting such an amazing villain design, but so long as it leads to some gruesome kills and the typical hokey villain monologues, I can stretch my disbelief enough to enjoy this last act generously peppered with brutal kills and gruesome thrills of B-grade proportions. </div><div><br /></div><div>Despite the flaws, <b>Feed (2022)</b> is a promising little Swedish slasher that does the backwoods horror jig in a largely traditional way even with the tempting opportunities for it to devolve into another lazily modernized outing. In fact, the whole social media aspect of the movie didn't really do much to drive the story forward and it's mostly set aside as self-aware jabs at the culture for the sake of a few jokes or even as a character's flaw, which is a little rich coming from a film produced by Joakim Lundell, who is among the biggest influencers in Sweden, but a welcome and well appreciated approach nevertheless. I say give this one a chance! It ain't great, but it is good!</div><div><br /></div><div>Bodycount:</div><div>1 female murdered, method unknown</div><div>1 female dragged away, murdered offcamera</div><div>1 male shot with a shotgun</div><div>1 female hacked to death with a hatchet</div><div>1 male shot with a shotgun</div><div>1 female shot to death with a shotgun</div><div>1 male knifed through the mouth</div><div>Total: 7</div>Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-78597425446183914622024-01-12T16:15:00.000+08:002024-01-12T16:15:05.001+08:00In Deep Deadly Thought: We Might Hurt Each Other (2022) <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivBlRaTSAfgcQ-G8rrSo1aWh1JW5vHuZ_vTBHuE3zmVjlSuYQjnrPgVj6Gxifxo0rm71fLckxEECIkqde7G704voSsFgevg3zcwXqkthLWM_woJNsmQkZnB3WUHHCMsYAvividCcUp8JAFpMMLqWkxo4grASmxbQop-fupYD_VyIz7J6I22sQF4uAdrTw/s1524/Pensive.2022.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_000053875.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="639" data-original-width="1524" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivBlRaTSAfgcQ-G8rrSo1aWh1JW5vHuZ_vTBHuE3zmVjlSuYQjnrPgVj6Gxifxo0rm71fLckxEECIkqde7G704voSsFgevg3zcwXqkthLWM_woJNsmQkZnB3WUHHCMsYAvividCcUp8JAFpMMLqWkxo4grASmxbQop-fupYD_VyIz7J6I22sQF4uAdrTw/w400-h168/Pensive.2022.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_000053875.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>We Might Hurt Each Other (Rupintojelis) (Lithuania, 2022) (AKA "Pensive")<div>Rating: ****</div><div>Starring: Sarunas Rapolas Meliesius, Gabija Bargailaite, Marius Repsys</div><div><br /></div><div>The general idea is something we've seen dozens of times; teens go to the woods to party, teens end up hunted and dead. It's a slasher plot as old as the sub-genre's golden age, though this Lithuanian 2022 entry opted to do a little more with what it can dish out while still paying some tribute to classic backwoods slashers.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPaZDR0Rt6VTllvT5WDvIWvuBQlwy6iy62bCLzPP47g9hQ0LcwwvXMBpk-2Io9Z9H7Eq8IZch4AdAHUd7sFt7Y73isIjj9mFx6nrojTkxJR4bP-ES34qMxJjaijbkri8D-20gvSDQ-ZZsOY1NI5obnIFyrpTT6T3V3Rs4DmbP-CkBSqjB5bxOs47SEXPE/s1524/Pensive.2022.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_000469625.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="639" data-original-width="1524" height="84" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPaZDR0Rt6VTllvT5WDvIWvuBQlwy6iy62bCLzPP47g9hQ0LcwwvXMBpk-2Io9Z9H7Eq8IZch4AdAHUd7sFt7Y73isIjj9mFx6nrojTkxJR4bP-ES34qMxJjaijbkri8D-20gvSDQ-ZZsOY1NI5obnIFyrpTT6T3V3Rs4DmbP-CkBSqjB5bxOs47SEXPE/w200-h84/Pensive.2022.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_000469625.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Marius (Sarunas Rapolas Meliesius) is the class outcast who sees himself planning to skip the post-graduation festivities of partying hard and getting blind drunk with his fellow classmates in favor of playing it safe and oppose any risk that could fall in his way. His bestfriend Vytas (Povilas Jatkevičius) thinks it's about time he at least try breaking out of his little bubble of comfort, maybe even finally ask out his crush Brigita (Gabija Bargailaitė), and the opportunity would soon presents itself when Marius learns that the end-of-the-year party lacks a venue and his realtor mother happens to have a lakeside cottage that she couldn't get sell off. The class accepts his offer of a new spot to crash in and the socially invisible Marius is now a part of the whole excitable gaggle.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR4OjVzXH5hBXsqdTcKOHbeyOlTsi3reecFLmSgJWv5vuXph1bMgSA8dEGF0EpEBL9xf1_Wek5tV5ab9YFFAM4Kne9X2JMoJAPayeAh1Qf59MFlAD3MPSCgOCuogMRv0yDyZWFu88K93qdBnMhRLtbzHO-8uiCNx9F2b98iej0s-UvufQyOkzGBy8zQws/s1524/Pensive.2022.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_001849458.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="639" data-original-width="1524" height="84" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR4OjVzXH5hBXsqdTcKOHbeyOlTsi3reecFLmSgJWv5vuXph1bMgSA8dEGF0EpEBL9xf1_Wek5tV5ab9YFFAM4Kne9X2JMoJAPayeAh1Qf59MFlAD3MPSCgOCuogMRv0yDyZWFu88K93qdBnMhRLtbzHO-8uiCNx9F2b98iej0s-UvufQyOkzGBy8zQws/w200-h84/Pensive.2022.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_001849458.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>What the youngsters didn't know is that the cottage was the home of one Algis Motiejūnas, a man who survived a fire that took the lives of his family and carved really eerie sculptures of mourning figures before he seemingly taking his own life. As the gang went on with their celebration, it isn't too long that the sculptures are drunkenly vandalized for firewood later that night and, shortly thereafter, they're fatally punished for it one hatchet swing at a time.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>We Might Hurt Each Other (2022)</b> takes a while to get to the backwoods carnage, so it spends half of its entire run setting up the social dynamics of the group first and does a rather spectacular job at that; the writing and acting felt organic enough to work an interesting set of main characters to focus on, investing a decent development on their growth past beyond their archetypes the further the story progresses. And it is through this chance to know and connect with them emotionally that made the lingering sting of the second act all the more effective as, once the killer shows up to do murder, we're forced to wonder just how far some of these people will go to save themselves as they question their responsibilities for a problem they didn't create. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhan5IYPf3TLCoemQecHWDgnVXfdW4D8N8SzEGlwPuZaPyAYNw-GY8z-5vn4kZ2p_SY44Bb7tx2ygBDjvm7iwczB7r1PJCts7OR6bCN1V34vH3SPA6m6a7PJF4_OsVmHTxdSZOgaLmW0NJPs1dRQut2S5VzFFbArct2H2CpeOWpLtvG-UBreJ1cHvvNvCc/s1524/Pensive.2022.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_003102916.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="639" data-original-width="1524" height="84" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhan5IYPf3TLCoemQecHWDgnVXfdW4D8N8SzEGlwPuZaPyAYNw-GY8z-5vn4kZ2p_SY44Bb7tx2ygBDjvm7iwczB7r1PJCts7OR6bCN1V34vH3SPA6m6a7PJF4_OsVmHTxdSZOgaLmW0NJPs1dRQut2S5VzFFbArct2H2CpeOWpLtvG-UBreJ1cHvvNvCc/w200-h84/Pensive.2022.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_003102916.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>This theme of social responsibility lingers greatly during the massacre, throwing the story to directions that shift some characters from being dull to selfless individuals, others from adorable to just downright horrendous people, once faced with the danger of being snuffed out by a madman in a mask. It's a whole lot of escapades of true natures getting revealed, betrayed friendships and consequential brutal bloodshed, making the climactic act one heck of an emotional rollercoaster that touches some real morally-provoking questions down to its rather bleak and polarizing "good" ending. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU1lZE7_uSi2Tu0u7L4kZdkRcJKsEpIKifYFRvSFcibPuxkExKa_BvoH97obe74yhDQs5m1xtik8nBK_usxbnu5anf6vKy04geOWyPGJ3pgIB-57F7V-ZemQ23AXFHQonRxhazn5tj0TJYnfzabGQ4P07lWFaIkh0YxqQHHSUsc9zFi7TcBEMMYSpoKvI/s1524/Pensive.2022.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_003449208.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="639" data-original-width="1524" height="84" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU1lZE7_uSi2Tu0u7L4kZdkRcJKsEpIKifYFRvSFcibPuxkExKa_BvoH97obe74yhDQs5m1xtik8nBK_usxbnu5anf6vKy04geOWyPGJ3pgIB-57F7V-ZemQ23AXFHQonRxhazn5tj0TJYnfzabGQ4P07lWFaIkh0YxqQHHSUsc9zFi7TcBEMMYSpoKvI/w200-h84/Pensive.2022.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_003449208.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>On the slasher side of the conversation, it's fairly serviceable; <b>We Might Hurt each Other (2023)</b> does the usual stunt of hinting its killer's existence via heavy breathing POV shots first before escalating it to hands-on murders once the maniac decided to show up. A good chunk of the kills were done offcamera, especially one massacre scene wherein more than half of the class are slaughtered by our slasher after cornering them in the cottage they're hiding at, but for those that get to be seen onscreen do deliver on the film's gore quota with one brutally splashy kill to the next. The killer themselves is a throwback to the earlier <b>Friday the 13th</b> films, mainly an amalgamation of Pamela Voorhees and her son, Jason, considering their family-centric reason for the murder spree which would also become their downfall when this is used against them in a way not unlike how Ginny tricked Jason in <b>Friday The 13th Part 2 (1981)</b>. That being said, there's little to no surprise who the killer is and, frankly, there's not a whole lot more going for them apart from looking spooky in their wooden mask and that they only target people who destroyed the sculptures.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>We Might Hurt Each Other (2022)</b>'s slasher elements may not break any new grounds, its story of how rotten people can get once the odds are stacking against them does give this movie a little more weight for its gloomy angle and heartbreaking treacheries. Plus, it simply looks and sounds great, a real showcase of talent and production that I can easily recommend for a viewing or two!</div><div><br /></div><div>Bodycount:</div><div>2 males and 1 female steamed to death inside a locked sauna</div><div>1 male knifed in the back</div><div>7 females and 2 males hacked and stabbed mostly offcamera with a hatchet and a knife </div><div>1 male jabbed in the neck with a barbecue skewer</div><div>1 female had her head forced unto a broken window</div><div>1 male had his head chopped off with a hatchet</div><div>1 female found burned to death</div><div>1 male burned to death</div><div>1 male dies from a stab wound</div><div>1 female falls off a cliff</div><div>Total: 20</div>Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-42162424715815136542023-12-31T17:17:00.001+08:002023-12-31T17:17:20.984+08:00Bloody Ends Before New Beginnings: Time's Up (2022) <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJqYKYhwWepobqOyB-QxzGwVvMD9GM6o0i46jAXh37hF7NU7TSaDzGDPWj8BnD_NfoROn86Vq6UjijJcMrzcqSbCE6-xAaNKcULwyTZnVmdB7Q5AxIF26WYwX3gv4KS_LdLWftJRor4hMbzIiuk0Kuhzz2wkyI9dyOrSu5IhEEbs6h6NZSApKb6DtEV8E/s1536/Time's%20Up-100011781.mp4_004935805.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="864" data-original-width="1536" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJqYKYhwWepobqOyB-QxzGwVvMD9GM6o0i46jAXh37hF7NU7TSaDzGDPWj8BnD_NfoROn86Vq6UjijJcMrzcqSbCE6-xAaNKcULwyTZnVmdB7Q5AxIF26WYwX3gv4KS_LdLWftJRor4hMbzIiuk0Kuhzz2wkyI9dyOrSu5IhEEbs6h6NZSApKb6DtEV8E/w400-h225/Time's%20Up-100011781.mp4_004935805.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Time's Up (2022)<div>Rating: **</div><div>Starring: Damian Maffei, Hannah Fierman, L.C. Holt</div><div><br /></div><div>On a general occasion, whenever a slasher flick sets itself around the theme of school bullying, it's often within the idea of brutally snuffing out those who did the bullying as presented by movies like <b>Evilspeak (1981)</b>, <b>Slaughter High (1986)</b> and <b>Tormented (2009)</b>. In <b>Time's Up (2022)</b>, however, it appears the kill count will be focusing on the people who could have prevented the bullying, as in the school staff from the principal to the guidance counselor, from the theater teacher to the gym coach. A novel angle, but will the approach be just as good?</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWxXqZnWWX0ugRu3whPZoRBnkG1-xVcq1_gGVZ15awNogRvtI48mKs_BX7Ir7URB4dbInfNP3h13a63WoJfW-WF4aD_r27YWGaUap0vgd6BSDbNRwAuHzB3wJlTY36DnTBAU4XXpy5QeIwG9cTDKxk39sIpSg9qR-grwYpF5fqX_0n7szm0VKGukEmwIQ/s1536/Time's%20Up-100011781.mp4_001372078.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="645" data-original-width="1536" height="134" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWxXqZnWWX0ugRu3whPZoRBnkG1-xVcq1_gGVZ15awNogRvtI48mKs_BX7Ir7URB4dbInfNP3h13a63WoJfW-WF4aD_r27YWGaUap0vgd6BSDbNRwAuHzB3wJlTY36DnTBAU4XXpy5QeIwG9cTDKxk39sIpSg9qR-grwYpF5fqX_0n7szm0VKGukEmwIQ/s320/Time's%20Up-100011781.mp4_001372078.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>It's New Year's Eve and the faculty members of Pine Falls Highschool are celebrating the countdown at a get together, all the while trying to get behind a recent tragedy wherein a student committed suicide after so much bullying and heartbreak, an incident that tainted the school's reputation considerably. Easier said than done when someone dressed up as "Father Time" is making sure those responsible for the death will pay in blood, thus forcing these fine folks to a game of scavenger hunt that night and should they refuse to partake, lives will be taken. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>Time's Up (2022)</b> definitely has a something to say about a school's role on their students' well-being and it does so by working in small scenes of drama involving the bullied teen and his interactions with the staff members. The drawback from this is that the acting and writing are questionable enough to be distracting, so the effectiveness of the story's depth is mostly loss and often hinders with flow of the plot. It also doesn't help that there isn't that many likeable characters here and those who could've been interesting have barely anything to do except be played as ploys for the killer's grand scheme of revenge. Quite a shame, really, since the story does have the ambitious potential to be good, engaging even, if only the execution is anywhere competently handled.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiVxmL-r6R-LctyojZPVtVVQw7GuNxYJ_zVTM96FlcrPmZTLmDwllkl-Xb0W1Bw5wMDjAdy4ldKmSLMU4WlHH7EhVH73c8DG34AIGWuaCgUVGy7zaB0c8KL5dJtun35d2X2_45rvEAESTkuoc95CWAAOBgUiPIk74gK-gXJPr_wfKMmHU4Y2z_qMOLbQI/s1280/Time's%20Up-100011781.mp4_001666414.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="546" data-original-width="1280" height="137" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiVxmL-r6R-LctyojZPVtVVQw7GuNxYJ_zVTM96FlcrPmZTLmDwllkl-Xb0W1Bw5wMDjAdy4ldKmSLMU4WlHH7EhVH73c8DG34AIGWuaCgUVGy7zaB0c8KL5dJtun35d2X2_45rvEAESTkuoc95CWAAOBgUiPIk74gK-gXJPr_wfKMmHU4Y2z_qMOLbQI/s320/Time's%20Up-100011781.mp4_001666414.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>The only good things to come out of <b>Time's Up (2022)</b> are the kills being done in worthwhile practical effects, with the few extreme slayings really delivering the gore, and the killer's "Father Time" get-up looking rather creepily good that I kinda wish we see more of the maniac in action while donning it. There's also a scene in the last act where an arsehole character bites the big one in the most satisfyingly brutal way, but apart from that, the film could have use some extra polishing to smoothen out its small production bumps. </div><div><br /></div><div>Decent enough for a quick watch, but I can't picture myself coming back to this one as an annual treat.</div><div><br /></div><div>Bodycount:</div><div>1 male shot through the mouth</div><div>1 male gets a hammer claw to the head</div><div>1 male seen dying from a throat cut</div><div>1 male found murdered with their face carved</div><div>1 female slashed in half with a scythe</div><div>1 male succumbs to a heart attack</div><div>1 female had her throat cut with a knife</div><div>1 male found murdered</div><div>1 female stabbed with a knife, later found decapitated</div><div>1 female found with rail spikes ran into her eyes</div><div>1 male found murdered, body wrapped in plastic</div><div>1 male gets a knife stabbed into the back of his neck</div><div>1 male stabbed in the eye with his own fractured bone</div><div>1 female brained with a cinder block</div><div>Total: 14</div>Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-22484105835509697862023-12-29T08:17:00.000+08:002023-12-29T08:17:23.934+08:00Of Christmas Slays From Days That Could've Been: It's a Wonderful Knife (2023) <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggdyp3Xrv94sl7R_RCiWp8KyXqIrpYLaxlteM6GnD6fgDQdGAJeK_EqXrvVvFN2Q1tDlZFrZUMbD-xnhVFoMNa8GP-c-dPBgaU3rTyVirCJ2l3dzJBUa4DsUEDfjNCf9WoiW0X8Dnz6HzgNo2MCS6RAF2gLdsgxVK9HBQZXLPeEXgdLoneQkdONSXdyR0/s1536/Its.A.Wonderful.Knife.2023.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_000966215.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="1536" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggdyp3Xrv94sl7R_RCiWp8KyXqIrpYLaxlteM6GnD6fgDQdGAJeK_EqXrvVvFN2Q1tDlZFrZUMbD-xnhVFoMNa8GP-c-dPBgaU3rTyVirCJ2l3dzJBUa4DsUEDfjNCf9WoiW0X8Dnz6HzgNo2MCS6RAF2gLdsgxVK9HBQZXLPeEXgdLoneQkdONSXdyR0/w400-h166/Its.A.Wonderful.Knife.2023.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_000966215.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>It's A Wonderful Knife (2023)<div>Rating: ***1/2</div><div>Starring: Jane Widdop, Joel McHale, Justin Long</div><div><br /></div><div>Every time an angel do their slayings, a victim gets their wings.</div><div><br /></div><div>Alright, let me just get this out there first and tell you guys that I never saw the Christmas classic <b>It's a Wonderful Life (1946)</b>, but I am familiar with its plot thanks to a lot of cartoons from my childhood parodying it with varying degrees of effectiveness, showing me what would happen when a meddling angel takes the time to talk a troubled soul out of removing themselves from the plane of existence by showing how sucky everything would be without them. It's a cute concept, warm even, so why not put a little slasher spin to the tale for our bloodcurdling enjoyment? </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheKtCMN0I51uXfCNSEWzL43AgVr4kNe35JzwLO9jvxTG28IPB1NVjQORerxU-Srm1lP93bg2Pt0jM7eKXpm1PwROVJQjIbHGbdxw_zN0Ss1Q9y8zgdzNzWJFhs8erXm3yuKIr6_r2OfXmvbz93jA4g_nUqIIVIv_DnTW3A4gvIV24I6AAE3YLO7ByZWQc/s1536/Its.A.Wonderful.Knife.2023.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_000523064.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="1536" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheKtCMN0I51uXfCNSEWzL43AgVr4kNe35JzwLO9jvxTG28IPB1NVjQORerxU-Srm1lP93bg2Pt0jM7eKXpm1PwROVJQjIbHGbdxw_zN0Ss1Q9y8zgdzNzWJFhs8erXm3yuKIr6_r2OfXmvbz93jA4g_nUqIIVIv_DnTW3A4gvIV24I6AAE3YLO7ByZWQc/w400-h166/Its.A.Wonderful.Knife.2023.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_000523064.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>The small and idyllic town of Angel Falls is currently going through a bit of a commercial takeover courtesy of its excessively wheedling mayor, Henry Waters (Justin Long), and the only obstacle left before the unctuous town leader can start building his dream mall is an old man who refuses to sell his real estate. It's Christmas Eve and after rejecting Waters his title of the land once more, the old timer bites the big one when someone dressed in an ironically angelic white cloak and creepy blank-faced mask murders him, before going after his teen granddaughter, Cara Evans (Hana Huggins), who's currently attending a Christmas party with her bestfriend, our lead girl Winnie Carruthers (Jane Widdop). Just when the festivities are in full swing, Winnie unfortunately gets the dishonor of watching her bestie die at the hands of the Angel of Death before the cloaked killer goes after her and her gay brother, Jimmy (Aiden Howard). One cat-and-mouse stalk through the woods later, Winnie eventually ends the carnage by electrocuting the Angel to death with a car battery just as the bastard was about to dig its dagger into her brother's chest, revealing the killer to be none other than *gasp!* Mayor Waters!</div><div><br /></div><div>Jump ahead one year and it's Christmas once again. Angel Falls is moving past the horrific killing spree that shook the little town and everyone is doing their best to be honky-dory for the holidays. Everyone, except Winnie; still reeling from the trauma of losing Cara, she's disheartened by the fact that most of her family is basically blind to her grief and her <i>Joyeux Noel</i> is further tainted when the college she's aiming to get in rejects her application, some members of the Waters clan are openly hostile at her for killing Henry (yeah, well, maybe he shouldn't be killing in the first place?) and she catches her boyfriend getting the mistletoe service from the school floozy. Holly jolly mood broken from one bad news to the next, beaten down to her lowest, Winnie wishes under the glow of the night's glowing green aurora that she's never been born. </div><div><br /></div><div>Well? Wish granted.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUb-Wn1B344Vq5Cf0kuOXJiPFgra2ZxMUjpznLm5rECFsaVLGhVnzfokkcOAIhD718R1Z94H288PVi14G-qGB_g3gb4h7ssXMoiATLhf_MJzseocqNEmvJUqFyKY2PJsgZd8ZdvQyb6gB_2UnPvcDDJ1qxfKnXYW89efisZBt0_2f0R5OVA7GdI2O1Td4/s1536/Its.A.Wonderful.Knife.2023.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_000525358.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="1536" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUb-Wn1B344Vq5Cf0kuOXJiPFgra2ZxMUjpznLm5rECFsaVLGhVnzfokkcOAIhD718R1Z94H288PVi14G-qGB_g3gb4h7ssXMoiATLhf_MJzseocqNEmvJUqFyKY2PJsgZd8ZdvQyb6gB_2UnPvcDDJ1qxfKnXYW89efisZBt0_2f0R5OVA7GdI2O1Td4/w400-h166/Its.A.Wonderful.Knife.2023.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_000525358.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>Now Winnie finds herself in an alternate reality where she never existed and, in turn, no one was there to stop Henry Waters from his killing spree. The town is now in shambles, with the Waters family taking over most of the businesses and positions of authority, and, oh, the friggin' Angel of Death is still out and about depopulating the town of its people every other week or so. As Winnie is now a blank slate to everyone in town, she also has little to no way on convincing the townsfolk that their beloved mayor is behind the growing death toll so she has no choice but to find a way to stop the Angel from taking more lives herself and hopefully find a way back to the life she once thought is crummy. Thankfully, she has the town weirdo Bernie Simon (Jess McLeod) on her side, convinced of her wild tales of wishing to never existing and Maniac Mayor Waters after she herself gets a close call of getting acquainted with the Angel's dagger, but will their combined wit and bravery be enough to undo the reign of terror that have befallen Angel Falls?</div><div><br /></div><div>As a horror stab on <b>It's A Wonderful Life</b>, <b>It's A Wonderful <i>Knife</i> (2023)</b> transitioned a lot of the Christmas classic's plot elements into the slasher playing field well enough to give us a rather unique festive bodycounter that delivers chuckles and chucked body parts, but not without tumbling down a step or two; It starts off strong with an oldie but goodie slasher act of a mad masked maniac going after their victims in a motivated killing spree, dishing out striking visuals, intense murders and effective prowling scenes punctuated with an unmasking and an obvious reveal. From there, the movie spends a fair roll showcasing our lead girl's understandable seasonal depression and the universe's unwavering cruelty of playing its dices against her, an overwhelming bout of cynicism that taps well into the movie's ability to evoke pity whenever it is needed, which would have been a memorably strong direction given that <b>Knife</b> stuck with it. </div><div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1nIHF_FNzk0zc9I49UKU8cGC6bNjRjzw4fSjDB3h3lNC5s3vWQNGO-CV1aD1uaK7-6wmCelc1a4E1nbxt65T__cWPdLrSDqm6yCugAM0uBQOwzqW9G2ZdtRkET_zOAQjqAfG1Xm2pRpXjPE8dtzRYzCv176bfto9MPX-MEJrWhidxlw-IBKqk2nOMEiU/s1536/Its.A.Wonderful.Knife.2023.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_002232563.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="1536" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1nIHF_FNzk0zc9I49UKU8cGC6bNjRjzw4fSjDB3h3lNC5s3vWQNGO-CV1aD1uaK7-6wmCelc1a4E1nbxt65T__cWPdLrSDqm6yCugAM0uBQOwzqW9G2ZdtRkET_zOAQjqAfG1Xm2pRpXjPE8dtzRYzCv176bfto9MPX-MEJrWhidxlw-IBKqk2nOMEiU/w400-h166/Its.A.Wonderful.Knife.2023.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_002232563.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>Instead, once after an otherworldly force answers Winnie's wish of non-existence, the film leans to a more quickly paced, humor-adjacent approach and though this is no means a bad thing, it does take away opportunities for the film to go deeper into the horror and misery of the odd misadventure our heroine finds herself in, something that could have build the stakes higher and grace us with a better range of character development that didn't feel sort of lacking, if not rushed. For its worth, the writing at least maintains an animated energy and even a sense of warmth, particularly whenever it focuses on Winnie learning her lesson after seeing how terrible things would have become if she didn't came to be, thus motivating her to find a solution to undo it to better everyone's lives, as well as her growing relationship towards the town's young pariah cruelly nicknamed 'Weirdo', who'd become Winnie's strongest ally and a workable second main character to root for. </div><div><br /></div><div>When it comes to the slasher goods, <b>It's A Wonderful Knife (2023)</b> fortunately swings it with a fair line of bloody kills that goes double digits by the count and fun set-pieces packed with viable thrills and suspense, plus the design of the Angel of Death really stands out for how simple yet menacing they look in an all-white mask and cloak, even more so blood-drenched. The only Crux of the matter is that, seeing we pretty much know Mayor Waters is the culprit behind the first set of murders, the movie tries to bend things a bit to keep the massacres a little less easy to resolve, though the path taken unnecessarily complicates things to the point it's nonsensical: without revealing too much, the whole thing devolves into a weird, cultish, mind-control situation that may or may not be supernatural. It all came out of nowhere and the resulting showdown at Angel Fall's town center is just mind-boggling for how needlessly extra it is when the eventual resolution is underwhelmingly simple. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqAa4aO5t4VJj-wi0-77K_iF8QFDqCqJv1F7jBJkkxsdbz3HDplIdmtJUbEA43xx85Fxu8sRA1gqCU0KIvb71dC2h_IMVBklwrKr6xDj1HSbE96VpUchdl9rKCmLmqu1LIxyUxoKrTVpJSw4uB1ehDvF8Bf59lI-zGfGPz1EJFRdLI5n4VcEIb9JVuynE/s1524/Its.A.Wonderful.Knife.2023.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_002876248.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="635" data-original-width="1524" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqAa4aO5t4VJj-wi0-77K_iF8QFDqCqJv1F7jBJkkxsdbz3HDplIdmtJUbEA43xx85Fxu8sRA1gqCU0KIvb71dC2h_IMVBklwrKr6xDj1HSbE96VpUchdl9rKCmLmqu1LIxyUxoKrTVpJSw4uB1ehDvF8Bf59lI-zGfGPz1EJFRdLI5n4VcEIb9JVuynE/w400-h166/Its.A.Wonderful.Knife.2023.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_002876248.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>Little flecks of coal aside, <b>It's A Wonderful Knife (2023)</b> grants our wishes of a fairly fun slasher for the holidays! It may not be at the same ball park as <b>Happy Death Day (2017)</b> or <b>Freaky (2020)</b> in terms of writing or gruesome brutality, but there's enough chasing and slashing here to earn a watch, especially around the most wonderful time of the year! Warm from both bloodshed and tender moments, you can't go wrong with this one!</div><div><br /></div><div>Bodycount:</div><div>1 elderly male had his throat cut with a dagger</div><div>1 male impaled through the mouth with a cane</div><div>1 female stabbed and slashed to death with a dagger</div><div>1 male electrocuted to death with a live car battery</div><div>1 male found stabbed in the eye with a dagger</div><div>1 male hacked to death with an axe</div><div>1 female gutted with a dagger</div><div>1 male found pinned to a table with a knife through the neck</div><div>1 female stabbed in the back with a dagger</div><div>1 female stabbed to death with a dagger</div><div>1 male stabbed to death with a dagger</div><div>1 male stabbed in the chest with a broken broom handle</div><div>1 male stabbed in the gut with a dagger</div><div>1 male stabbed in the gut with a dagger</div><div>Total: 14</div>Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-88259032742293662742023-12-15T05:00:00.001+08:002023-12-15T05:01:35.560+08:00Winter Wonder Alien Massacre: The Visitor (2020 Novella) <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgThOXTynbVlZZVNSs8mgiQcSQSpSLWCyFZ9H7WWOFZhZAe1XgwZUWAK6DSsCPrpGB-DgMxmrJztYjga8F_dryfEUPask_XDRCywrBYU4UVnoGkKqVXDsenjgVNR5xNX14OrXiZTYf6P5zCoL-jhD1y8uih9_VIGk_iPigLWoYMNW846JzduW8QdFgK/s1548/Scan_20230324.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1548" data-original-width="1018" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgThOXTynbVlZZVNSs8mgiQcSQSpSLWCyFZ9H7WWOFZhZAe1XgwZUWAK6DSsCPrpGB-DgMxmrJztYjga8F_dryfEUPask_XDRCywrBYU4UVnoGkKqVXDsenjgVNR5xNX14OrXiZTYf6P5zCoL-jhD1y8uih9_VIGk_iPigLWoYMNW846JzduW8QdFgK/w263-h400/Scan_20230324.jpg" width="263" /></a></div><b>The Visitor</b><div><div>Author: Sergio Gomez</div><div>Publication Year: 2020</div><div>Chapters: 20</div><div>Rating: ***</div></div><div><br /></div><div>In this little tale of holiday horrors, we take a step into a familiar set-up of strangers being brought together at a single place to take shelter from nature's wrath, only to discover someone or something lurking around is out to kill them. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>The Visitor </b>starts the pages at a diner during Christmas Eve where its owner Sal, regulars Kaito and Ichiko Takahasi, and traveling poet Moshe Janovsky have been keeping each other company as Indiana's worst snowstorm covers the road in inches of thick snow. They're soon joined by Xavier and his Collie, Norman, who just survived an accident that had their car crashing at a barricade, as well as truck driver Santiago Sanchez whose rig couldn't handle the now-slippery road. With hot food and drinks to go around, a generator keeping everyone warm and a football game playing on the TV, the group make the best out of their predicament by talking about mundane things and share a little bit about themselves. Until, that is, a lone tree branch outside snapped into falling unto a power pole and taking the lines with it, sending the diner into pitch darkness and shivering cold.</div><div><br /></div><div>And it is around this time that the group would soon know that there is another visitor joining them. A hunter and its hound out to stalk and prey on a few specimens that just happen to be stranded inside a diner...</div><div><br /></div><div>As slasher story, Sergio Gomez done an equitable enough job of keeping his novella a fun and breezy read by keeping the story easy to digest and with the right amount of popcorn entertainment as any good bodycount horror should be. It's basically your standard cat-and-mouse hunt, straight to the point towards its thrills and kills once the titular visitor starts to make their rounds on killing these innocent people, only the catch here is that our killer is an alien, down to the space suit and helmet, armed with a space rifle to go along its knife and even tagged along its own tamed creature which is supposed to be a hound of sorts. Even if this is far from anything new (<b>Without Warning (1980)</b>, <b>Predator (1987)</b> and <b>Almost Human (2013)</b>, for example), this is still an intriguing turn for anyone wanting more than just another average escaped loonie terrorizing people in their slasher stories, though I do wished the author gave us a little more detail as to the motive behind this thing's hunt as the story only went as far as telling us what it does with the bodies, but not what for.</div><div><br /></div><div>The book did fairly with its character introductions and how it crafted their little predicament with the unfavorable weather, vividly describing the sheer coldness and unforgiving barrage of snowfall with brooding wordplay which adds to the intensity and atmosphere of the eventual attacks. Not much in terms of developing its casts seeing the length of the story, though Gomez did pen the kills and the ensuing carnage descriptive enough to vividly visualize the stalk and stab/shoot action and whatever gruesome gore and horrors that go with it, thus maintaining itself to be an engaging read on a good level. </div><div><br /></div><div>Though, again, it doesn't offer anything new to the slasher subgenre, <b>The Visitor</b> is a fun read for anyone who wants a quick and easy horror short to indulge in, one that delivers cold chills and classic kills with a simple scifi aftertaste!</div><div><br /></div><div>Bodycount: 6 </div><div>Notable Kill: A gnarly laser shot to the head courtesy of a space rifle. Apart from that, we also got poor fella who got their head bitten off by a large critter!</div>Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-80764565424266036462023-12-14T02:08:00.003+08:002023-12-14T02:12:52.842+08:00Down Through The Chimney, Ole' Sick Nick: Santa Isn't Real (2023) <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEYzHhxx1iliYwdSDFH1W17ofYcCn6kd-a6o4mngULa1cyPgxJUtZ3VuWJUH-ozPOGlJyuNZaCRgawPzMpkH0Ss3DgVqc3T3AiDeybElUUqGpnqlLdExYX-1sx-RirHfGHODRqCZXGzCjDY6GuDYgczjJSmxPMeDHb-waipm2a725EcovbUJCuQYygV-g/s1554/Santa%20Isnt%20Real%20Title.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="828" data-original-width="1554" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEYzHhxx1iliYwdSDFH1W17ofYcCn6kd-a6o4mngULa1cyPgxJUtZ3VuWJUH-ozPOGlJyuNZaCRgawPzMpkH0Ss3DgVqc3T3AiDeybElUUqGpnqlLdExYX-1sx-RirHfGHODRqCZXGzCjDY6GuDYgczjJSmxPMeDHb-waipm2a725EcovbUJCuQYygV-g/w400-h214/Santa%20Isnt%20Real%20Title.png" width="400" /></a></div>Santa Isn't Real (2023)<div>Rating: *1/2</div><div>Starring: Kaya Coleman, Scarlett Sperduto, Dana Millican</div><div><br /></div><div>Now, I know myself to be patient enough to sit through a good slowburn horror flick given that the story and its characters are decently engaging, making the entire stroll to the inevitable horrors worth its while. Sadly, I didn't feel the same kind of patience nor was I all that entertained with this killer Santa offering. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9IfHsTKTl7ia8_Zu1SJ7_RXdwj5CRFV9xKPPmcfMy3cb7xTkcyIfEobnhiBBWb9MJ5Gx8qf8rpXIig2sjQKsrh8Q1VYDPuwNd2WMNf_st-4K_QYSrEWnkaRPwrlFFlBi3lT7MCd1tZAmJs68Y_IV4dwzKKyHzIqYCCA6YQ1W_HpGTCopgW1VEyp0vMfw/s1550/Santa%20Isnt%20Real%201.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="828" data-original-width="1550" height="107" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9IfHsTKTl7ia8_Zu1SJ7_RXdwj5CRFV9xKPPmcfMy3cb7xTkcyIfEobnhiBBWb9MJ5Gx8qf8rpXIig2sjQKsrh8Q1VYDPuwNd2WMNf_st-4K_QYSrEWnkaRPwrlFFlBi3lT7MCd1tZAmJs68Y_IV4dwzKKyHzIqYCCA6YQ1W_HpGTCopgW1VEyp0vMfw/w200-h107/Santa%20Isnt%20Real%201.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>The film opens with a young woman named Nikki (Kaya Coleman) spending her Christmas alone with a glass of egg-nog when, seemingly, none other than Santa himself decided to give her a visit and instead of giving her the gift of a Christmas miracle, he cuts her wrist open with a knife, bashed her head with a snow globe and leaves her to die, right after he gorges on some Christmas cookies. Nikki survives this attack, though it did leave her comatose for a year. Literally.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitRtWIQmrzTCV9sIm2caY2uEYBOrLHGvsoM5gp989BzPC2wD5UmLb-Mjr-dVrZ5343FPtE-p_4Acj5WhKV0gQ77_EAOHhvAY0JJ-oXjmglDlMZ68JpuD3Q7W9WjKpLH7pYPEaR5X4RSQXXeyUn40mg9P1k7bQYy0BzjmiSHFms6d576dgzDFBftbFTUzg/s1550/Santa%20Isnt%20Real%202.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="815" data-original-width="1550" height="105" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitRtWIQmrzTCV9sIm2caY2uEYBOrLHGvsoM5gp989BzPC2wD5UmLb-Mjr-dVrZ5343FPtE-p_4Acj5WhKV0gQ77_EAOHhvAY0JJ-oXjmglDlMZ68JpuD3Q7W9WjKpLH7pYPEaR5X4RSQXXeyUn40mg9P1k7bQYy0BzjmiSHFms6d576dgzDFBftbFTUzg/w200-h105/Santa%20Isnt%20Real%202.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Comes next Christmas and Nikki wakes up from her coma. She's visited by her best friend Jess (Scarlett Sperduto) and boyfriend Nathan (Trey Anderson) who share to her the shocking news that her parents were ready to pull the plug and have already converted her bedroom into a gym. Rightfully upset, Nikki decided to spend the holidays with Jess and Nathan at a woodland vacation home owned by another friend named MJ (Cissy Ly), though the girl can't help but feel off and uneasy. Perhaps it's the fact that that Jess and Nathan are actually seeing each other now, much to her shock. Or maybe it's the matter that her attack was ruled as a suicide attempt. Whatever it is, it's leading to a red-stained Christmas as someone would soon crash their little get-together with an axe murder or two in mind. Someone resembling Jolly Old Saint Nick, seemingly finishing what they started one Christmas night ago...</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8zH8Cyi-dCdzxz5ek-ouy-qoGlQFyPaZcfDSWvcSaRmTcRA34WEcmp6DfMjGroIENZ4yTd0Nd6h8L3eVP_Nk7tEhWbnDkFEI75cM370f8Kkxhyphenhyphen5qPkZKJ7RBsRStWblz5x6TvXmCA8hAPn7MncfgvwigODnopTX3e98qjS7MvP1SbhLdhKnR1eLX6lIg/s1558/Santa%20Isnt%20Real%203.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="804" data-original-width="1558" height="103" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8zH8Cyi-dCdzxz5ek-ouy-qoGlQFyPaZcfDSWvcSaRmTcRA34WEcmp6DfMjGroIENZ4yTd0Nd6h8L3eVP_Nk7tEhWbnDkFEI75cM370f8Kkxhyphenhyphen5qPkZKJ7RBsRStWblz5x6TvXmCA8hAPn7MncfgvwigODnopTX3e98qjS7MvP1SbhLdhKnR1eLX6lIg/w200-h103/Santa%20Isnt%20Real%203.png" width="200" /></a></div>In a ploy to, perhaps, build a sense of mystery and characterization, <b>Santa Isn't Real (2023)</b> opted to work its way to the snowbound holiday horror by first focusing a decent deal of its run time on Nikki's claims of being attacked by Santa Claus and the crazy conspiracies that goes with it (many of which were confused with other Winter folk beings like Krampus, Gryla and her Yule Lads), as well as her reaction towards Nathan and Tess’ relationship for brooding drama and tension. The result, however, is an excruciating test of patience as the writing barely made any of the characters interesting or likable enough to sit through all of the melodrama, a point hardly helped by the actors' uninspired performances, nor by the lack of energy and action in the film's direction. There's an initial attempt to play around with the idea of whether the threat could be supernatural or not, though the lack of budget and clumsy execution meant a lot of questionable visual effects and plot holes, all leading to an unsatisfying conclusion that confusingly juggles between the line of the whole killer Santa shtick being product of someone's unstable psyche, and teasing hints of an actual Saint Nick out on a murderous prowl. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAv_Sq_hwMeDBaQ04QJO9Mg41d1dGXs3e8X0D9dbkqhoHv3J10fvNO3uhWc_8fSEZLVJqZ_clZfJnVOA9kGXibOFHkeDSyl-vdW0wOUGS27dQHrpiGhtyUdFMUwdDcN8ucU8_RiDmVzAooLcBXmjMa8eZHL9GYLYUZwR2h9TTr5sXUEDknHc4vb9qxn84/s1554/Santa%20Isnt%20Real%204.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="808" data-original-width="1554" height="104" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAv_Sq_hwMeDBaQ04QJO9Mg41d1dGXs3e8X0D9dbkqhoHv3J10fvNO3uhWc_8fSEZLVJqZ_clZfJnVOA9kGXibOFHkeDSyl-vdW0wOUGS27dQHrpiGhtyUdFMUwdDcN8ucU8_RiDmVzAooLcBXmjMa8eZHL9GYLYUZwR2h9TTr5sXUEDknHc4vb9qxn84/w200-h104/Santa%20Isnt%20Real%204.png" width="200" /></a></div>Anything decent to say about <b>Santa Isn't Real (2023)</b> falls on the slayings, which we don't get to until the near end of the film after our killer captures their targets. The minuscule kill count delivers a surprisingly gruesome amount of practical gore and some savage editing to highlight the murder's chaotic flair but, by then, it's a little too late for it to be a saving grace, not when the accompanying murder motive and twist reveal were damn predictable.</div><div><br /></div><div>Sad to say, <b>Santa Isn't Real (2023)</b> is a mishandled mess of a Christmas slasher, one that aims to be an inviting and diverting horror drama but couldn't get neither the horror nor the drama working in its favor. Mediocre filmmaking at its most ungainly, you're better off getting coal than this in your Christmas stockings... </div><div><br /></div><div>Bodycount:</div><div>1 male gets a thrown knife to the chest, stabbed to death</div><div>1 male gutted with a knife</div><div>1 female stabbed in the eye with a sharpened candy cane, stabbed to death</div><div>1 male had his throat cut with a sharpened candy cane</div><div>Total: 4</div>Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-43150177973685710562023-12-13T02:28:00.001+08:002023-12-13T02:28:46.362+08:00All The Tender Sweetness of A Seasick Crocodile: The Mean One (2022)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP5oRANy_t4extOzbznIZ0ryRXX1jZ7xdFJddkLEKf4py9StIzIRDK8hafnE05VhF8Nf9hTCfyawPW2BSbvKGuKQoc4tj33JGckbeRACf8V1ivB7-EuFikP6LEOKZ4uH5D9ZJEPqDOx2DzbNIB4nQK0CfbFEDFEMcn3Qux89hAZGaIZVSYp2qIB6Kzhnc/s1536/The.Mean.One.2022.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_005421040.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="606" data-original-width="1536" height="158" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP5oRANy_t4extOzbznIZ0ryRXX1jZ7xdFJddkLEKf4py9StIzIRDK8hafnE05VhF8Nf9hTCfyawPW2BSbvKGuKQoc4tj33JGckbeRACf8V1ivB7-EuFikP6LEOKZ4uH5D9ZJEPqDOx2DzbNIB4nQK0CfbFEDFEMcn3Qux89hAZGaIZVSYp2qIB6Kzhnc/w400-h158/The.Mean.One.2022.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_005421040.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>The Mean One (2022)<div>Rating: ***</div><div>Starring: David Howard Thornton, Krystle Martin, Chase Mullins<br /><p>Released months before a certain silly old bear goes backwoods maniac on grown-up Christopher Robin and a couple of girls visiting the Hundred Acre Woods, this is the movie <b>Winnie The Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)</b> could have been: crazy, bloody and fun!<br /><br />As a wee little girl, Cindy once got a not-so-silent night after spotting "Santa" trying to steal away their Christmas tree and dear ole' mother opted to tussle with the thief, only to end up falling unto a nutcracker's sword and impaling her neck. Twenty years forward and as suggested by her therapist, Cindy (Krystle Martin) decided to go back to her hometown of Newville with her supportive father Lou (Flip Kobler) to confront her past, find closure and just have a holly jolly Christmas like she used to as a kid. That was until the same "Santa" comes back to spread some holiday fear just as pops finished putting up the decorations one night, brutally murdering the man before whisking all the Christmassy trinkets away.<br /><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiuWaaWyLO8FvTv0jAwmU7h_psNxBqllzaKlOfwFVoYRrvI2ejp-qIjtL81x7Yz8eb33fmGa_fiQxN3Auz6QgBe_loUCGElhpNaewUSiMbcvWr_e25cfF0q9zMWqbD6UDUOFKyOtzvz09B1WNKfL_A_2GIpyz_fnZFbKllfTXPSx8QWhsIdIvtkbVDR9Q/s1536/The.Mean.One.2022.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_001430470.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="606" data-original-width="1536" height="158" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiuWaaWyLO8FvTv0jAwmU7h_psNxBqllzaKlOfwFVoYRrvI2ejp-qIjtL81x7Yz8eb33fmGa_fiQxN3Auz6QgBe_loUCGElhpNaewUSiMbcvWr_e25cfF0q9zMWqbD6UDUOFKyOtzvz09B1WNKfL_A_2GIpyz_fnZFbKllfTXPSx8QWhsIdIvtkbVDR9Q/w400-h158/The.Mean.One.2022.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_001430470.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Understandably distressed and now wanting answers as to who or <i>what</i> killed her parents when the local sheriff (Erik Baker) and the town mayor (Amy Schumacher) prove to be of little help, Cindy starts looking into the events and Newville's little history, leading her to discover a grisly conspiracy involving missing hikers, encountering a green furry creature donning a makeshift Santa suit, as well as meeting a local drunkard (last name <i>Zeus</i>, but everyone calls him "<i>Doc</i>") who have his own misfortune with the creature after it slaughtered his wife many years ago. Through all of this, she learns that what they're up against is a real <i>Mean One</i>, as cuddly as a cactus, as charming as an eel, and with a murderous streak to anyone who celebrates Christmas, intentionally <b>and</b> accidentally! <p></p><div>As a parody, <b>The Mean One (2022)</b> presents itself with the usual B-grade slasher/monster-hybird romp of traumatized protagonists going back to town to settle their troubled psyches only to come face to face with the threat that started the whole ordeal, though the gimmick here is that the villain just happens to be a familiar face to those who grew up under the whimsy and wonder of the Theodor Geisel classic children's book, <b>Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas</b>. Seeing this is an unauthorized horror jab of the story, the name "Grinch" couldn't be uttered anywhere in the film so they simply refer to it as <i>The Mean One</i> and this is practically one of the jokes in the film as a small running gag involves someone yelling for a <i>Mr. Finch</i> just as somebody else was about to utter the creature's real name. The movie could've actually benefitted from more jokes and nods like these but the direction and writing occasionally drags unto the mediocre, insisting on playing the plot itself straight in an attempt for some depth to Cindy's plight and the horrors brought upon by the titular monster, only to fall flat with how much it clashes with the overall tone, as well as how clumsily oversentimental it can get.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia3eevicgu9BTfI2ixGwjLoHx8EHVj_P9mGhTc8ibIjDYN11pVbkmF51xp8gzW0cl364u4fLSxoacH8kAz7P6q2jhzEoxCJ_Jed_VjwUBIMpW_USEv4diDNob9-y9q-e-OzsOv9_j8rHLSsu626DCXuuufBYa5Rt7z_xQN_5I548hQej53RlZ-8vSP6QQ/s1536/The.Mean.One.2022.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_003325905.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="606" data-original-width="1536" height="158" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia3eevicgu9BTfI2ixGwjLoHx8EHVj_P9mGhTc8ibIjDYN11pVbkmF51xp8gzW0cl364u4fLSxoacH8kAz7P6q2jhzEoxCJ_Jed_VjwUBIMpW_USEv4diDNob9-y9q-e-OzsOv9_j8rHLSsu626DCXuuufBYa5Rt7z_xQN_5I548hQej53RlZ-8vSP6QQ/w400-h158/The.Mean.One.2022.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_003325905.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Fortunately, a lot of these failed straight-faced angles do come off unintentionally funny and the resulting camp outweighs whatever serious approach <b>The Mean One (2022)</b> tried leaning to, thus whenever the film wanted to be silly and messy, it somehow delivers: the murders are certainly one of this movie's highlights once the carnage goes full force and, although a decent bunch of them did rely on some CG blood for extra splatter, the absurdity of the kills work with how cartoonish the villain can get with their murdering as <b>Terrifier (2017)</b> and <b>Terrifier 2 (2022)</b>'s own <i>Art The Clown</i> actor David Howard Thornton dons the make-up and channels Jim Carrey's neurotic take of the Grinch back in 2000's <b>How the Grinch Stole Christmas</b> in terms of body language. A fine example would be one massacre wherein a group of overly festive drunkards dressed up as Santas, sexy elves and, for one shmuck, a Christmas tree hollered too much noise noise noise for <i>The Mean One's</i> liking, so the creature goes ho-ho-homicidal on them with killer candy canes and fairy light lassos, all the while <i>The Mean One</i> slides into places, jumps from spot to spot, pretty much being a limber evil thing! No speaking lines were given for the furry green fella, though, just a lot of growls and howls, so in terms of characterization, our villain is greatly lacking on that end, sadly, and we never did get an official reason for why this take of The Grinch is so murderous towards anyone celebrating Christmas in turn.</div><div><br /></div><div>The rest of the casts are usually of one note, but they have a sense of warmth and humor that do make their presence tolerable to an extent whenever one or two of them start hamming it up the dramatics. The last act of the film is when the campiness of it all goes nearly as high as Mount Crumpit, with Cindy going on full training montages and setting up traps to use against <i>The Mean One</i>, before luring the beast into her home with all the bright lights and holiday music blaring, ready to roast the monster away with candy cane-colored machine guns and Christmas baubles filled with explosives. Heck, even the villain's defeat is deliciously hammy and hilarious as it addresses the fact that a heart growing three times its size is never a good thing! </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQkdYFGndiHIBQ1Ez_Hus7inCWKmn-iEurFkhX0ftuektIEv2ZtTxjsg05TXWAOLX7-F5584CYQ7ihHRsBBs-QXwAjDoj-LmCys936N-cyIsBoESwB7ILyDiSlPi02p_dMyiW1lwOfRMfeAcMPxPdywYzIz9bd8vVs76MgDYCiTkRxkL8R0dfwHq7ojKc/s1536/The.Mean.One.2022.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_004824653.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="606" data-original-width="1536" height="158" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQkdYFGndiHIBQ1Ez_Hus7inCWKmn-iEurFkhX0ftuektIEv2ZtTxjsg05TXWAOLX7-F5584CYQ7ihHRsBBs-QXwAjDoj-LmCys936N-cyIsBoESwB7ILyDiSlPi02p_dMyiW1lwOfRMfeAcMPxPdywYzIz9bd8vVs76MgDYCiTkRxkL8R0dfwHq7ojKc/w400-h158/The.Mean.One.2022.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-%5BYTS.MX%5D.mp4_004824653.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Schmaltzy dialogue and overdramatic acting aside, <b>The Mean One (2022)</b> can be a fun holiday treat stocked with a fair dose of fun kills, satirical stabs on a beloved children's literature and an explosive finale that goes great with hot popcorn and cold sodas. Far from a new cult classic, but entertaining enough to pass the time with!</div><div><br /></div>Bodycount:<br />1 female lands neck-first unto a nutcracker's sword<br />1 male has his gut clawed open, head impaled with a cane<br />1 male stabbed to death<br />1 male murdered, later found with an icicle stabbed into his neck<br />1 male beaten with a cane</div><div>1 male had his head beaten unto a stationary spindle</div><div>1 male stabbed in the gut with a cane</div><div>1 female had her head stomped</div><div>1 male beaten to death against a bar table</div><div>1 male clawed on the face</div><div>1 male clawed to death</div><div>1 female had her neck snapped with a length of fairy lights, hanged</div><div>1 female mulched through a meat grinder</div><div>1 female torn in half (flashback)</div><div>1 male hacked on the head with a meat cleaver, dismembered</div><div>1 female decapitated with a car's trunk</div><div>1 female had her neck broken (flashback)</div><div>1 male mauled offscreen, dismembered arm seen</div><div>1 creature dies from an exploding heart</div><div>Total: 19</div>Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-67467543585228228332023-12-04T13:07:00.001+08:002023-12-04T13:07:54.276+08:00Just a Weird Case of Prehysteria: The Stoneman (2002) <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgocPB1gWJ8qnug2p1z1qcJiU55HaesmsnTNICsr-zYzLC_OF7AFheymCerTJXA6FZ8Xp3hv0vu2DGEayFoB86ZNpzmULeF2WsoviofkmtJd5IVyy5kuoBZwm8hNhYMRe_z1MbgpNuS1vBoZZLyj4D1TYJds3nebiH6xhQ1xmz0UxL25QWBzFnBd1jBAWU/s1354/The%20Stoneman%20(2002).mp4_000092038.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="726" data-original-width="1354" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgocPB1gWJ8qnug2p1z1qcJiU55HaesmsnTNICsr-zYzLC_OF7AFheymCerTJXA6FZ8Xp3hv0vu2DGEayFoB86ZNpzmULeF2WsoviofkmtJd5IVyy5kuoBZwm8hNhYMRe_z1MbgpNuS1vBoZZLyj4D1TYJds3nebiH6xhQ1xmz0UxL25QWBzFnBd1jBAWU/w400-h215/The%20Stoneman%20(2002).mp4_000092038.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>The Stoneman (2002)<div>Rating: **1/2</div><div>Starring: Pat Morita, Christopher Atkins, Robin Riker</div><div><br /></div><div>Take the plot of, let's say, <b>The Giant From The Unknown (1958)</b>, have it directed with the same level of cheese and ham as a cheapo drive-in shlock like <b>Eegah (1962)</b>, chuck in a bit of slasher mayhem within that troglodyte-centered mess and you'll get <b>The Stoneman (2002)</b>! For better or worse... </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXO3WuBVhr9EkcKovMvhI6BVBZho2-RRvDKo1aX0WfdIHCuPZShpcMqdie0H7cZsC0WZ5uIpYkKKg6LE6EtFhxXxkRA_KYpnOC2Px9gq9potrfYeZ-D5Vw_WTPXX39yMK9B4gni_-r2jPSxtljZxItLzBGMHYDmXFxCJe04CqndEOUXp2ZGfBIWrs6SP0/s2974/The%20Stoneman%20(2002).mp4_000377923.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="634" data-original-width="2974" height="68" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXO3WuBVhr9EkcKovMvhI6BVBZho2-RRvDKo1aX0WfdIHCuPZShpcMqdie0H7cZsC0WZ5uIpYkKKg6LE6EtFhxXxkRA_KYpnOC2Px9gq9potrfYeZ-D5Vw_WTPXX39yMK9B4gni_-r2jPSxtljZxItLzBGMHYDmXFxCJe04CqndEOUXp2ZGfBIWrs6SP0/s320/The%20Stoneman%20(2002).mp4_000377923.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Narrated by one Professor Fitzgerald (director Ewing Miles Brown, who will continue to pop up now and then to annoyingly and unnecessarily spoon-feed us what's happening as if we couldn't figure it out on our own), it all started at the heart of a safari where a native finds a perfectly preserved body of a huge humanoid creature in a bog. Dr. Stevens (The late Pat Morita) is then notified of the discovery and he soon have the remains shipped to the US where he and his colleague Dr. Weston (Robin Riker), along with an excited university journalist named Kip (Christopher Atkins), awe at the find once it arrives. A Professor Milano (Bernie Kopell) isn't buying the authenticity of the body, however, though Stevens is confident that what they have here is a genuine troglodyte, so much so that he already planned to have the find showcased to the press.</div><div><br /></div><div>That is until the body suddenly springs back to life and murders one of the university staff some time after everyone left for the night. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_y2ibw4rXaYyXShnQGLDxVpcbXAAj_Pdvuu7mkqN64UqBI209vL2iAs40Qrx2U81ctXQlBYZfeQ4pldKbz-RqXid-5VwpXiRljqqsQBDZBgdEf0XRIF2MnewOmTQWYaOd-s_JokMVro9xvylK5LUAwB2yyj9hW7CMM_bvSGxhpMSE9JPjGINOiwmSfGg/s2918/The%20Stoneman%20(2002).mp4_001216962.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="632" data-original-width="2918" height="69" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_y2ibw4rXaYyXShnQGLDxVpcbXAAj_Pdvuu7mkqN64UqBI209vL2iAs40Qrx2U81ctXQlBYZfeQ4pldKbz-RqXid-5VwpXiRljqqsQBDZBgdEf0XRIF2MnewOmTQWYaOd-s_JokMVro9xvylK5LUAwB2yyj9hW7CMM_bvSGxhpMSE9JPjGINOiwmSfGg/s320/The%20Stoneman%20(2002).mp4_001216962.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>It isn't long before the cops are called to investigate the crime scene and detective lieutenant Hill (Ron Masak) suspects the old-smash-and-grab, just with a mummified cave man stolen and an additional fresh dead body on the side. But Dr. Stevens believes something else might be going on here, especially when he took a good look at the murder victim's neck and notices the rather large bite marks. As more victims start falling prey to the stone axe-wielding fella, Stevens, along with Weston and Kip, set out to find the Stoneman and capture him back (for science!), all the while attempting their best to convince the investigating officials that what they're dealing with in this recent string of murders is no ordinary man. Will they succeed or will there be more victims to be hacked to death with a deadly stone axe?</div><div><br /></div><div>I really shouldn't be enjoying this disaster of a movie given how questionable its entire production is; the acting reeks high on underacted/overacted cheddar and the writing is hammed up with an entire pig winking at us with its tongue pressed firmly in its cheek! The effects are laughably cheap (yes, that's, uh, that's definitely a stone axe our creature is wielding. <i>Definitely</i> not a plastic prop...), so much odd direction is put into the plot that it's near parodic and, furthermore, it's clunkily pieced together as the picture and audio quality dips once in a while. One moment the pic and sound is bearable enough to watch, next thing you know the darn thing is fuzzy and sounds like it was recorded in someone's backyard! (Also, I think one of the scenes was ripped straight from a test footage as a portion of the damn timecode is visible!) And yet, here I am enjoying the ever-loving crap out of <b>The Stoneman (2002)</b>!</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-Wc4GDV5j6OM5v5Y3RFYDhrqgIAXMxp8EPcEaT0Y16BU7ZQlx_hckhp0fZbYrCJk5JHz_TKXEB_WRBkETIGv7syJpaI7kH2XWu5UgQuykFPz4BiYOmqMOo3cDq8RX-imommlRueE9Zjngz1QXm2adjQfnGP0WCEEnbrZakCqhyiaKs9hpWMIx8Ib5ZLQ/s2970/The%20Stoneman%20(2002).mp4_001755366.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="634" data-original-width="2970" height="68" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-Wc4GDV5j6OM5v5Y3RFYDhrqgIAXMxp8EPcEaT0Y16BU7ZQlx_hckhp0fZbYrCJk5JHz_TKXEB_WRBkETIGv7syJpaI7kH2XWu5UgQuykFPz4BiYOmqMOo3cDq8RX-imommlRueE9Zjngz1QXm2adjQfnGP0WCEEnbrZakCqhyiaKs9hpWMIx8Ib5ZLQ/s320/The%20Stoneman%20(2002).mp4_001755366.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>The whole film is practically a love letter to 50s/60s Z-grade drive-in flicks, where corny characters step up to save the day from a threat so outlandish, it's spectacularly terrible yet laughably fun. <b>The Stoneman (2002)</b> practically nails the tone and sway of these movies, down to the silly banters between our unlikely yet likeable heroes consisting of two doctors, a snarky journalist and one disbelieving yet well-meaning detective, as well as the entertainingly crazy murder spree of our titular killer caveman who proceeds to unga-bunga-bash people apart with his stone axe while said people dramatically screams in terror til' their dying breath or, during one hilarious fiasco, be yelled at by an angry neighbor for being too noisy! The caveman is played by a sizeable fella named Steve Henneberry, looking like your typical cartoonish depiction of a prehistoric man donned in animal fur, only with a more pronounced brow, distinguishably huge nose and overly large canines, doing a fine enough job working the Neanderthal maniac gig with a singular motive of hunting at nightfall. Not a lot of extreme blood and gore offered here, though, but with set pieces like the Stoneman casually entering and attacking a biker bar just for the kick of it, or go toe-to-toe against a woman armed with pepper spray, slow-mo'd for <i>phenomenal</i> effect, I say the film done more than enough to make up for its lack of genuine horror and be an amusing piece of bad filmmaking!</div><div><br /></div><div>As clumsy as <b>The Stoneman (2002)</b> is in terms of quality production, it is still as an obscure trash masterpiece that deserves a good watch should you find yourself in the mood for low brow-levels of celluloid craft. A fun throwback of yesteryear's weird yet wonderful cinema sillies! </div><div><br /></div><div>Bodycount:</div><div>1 male hacked to death with a stone axe</div><div>1 female slashed across the neck with a stone axe, hacked to death</div><div>1 male strangled, later found with a bitten neck</div><div>1 male hacked to death with a stone axe</div><div>1 male strangled, later found with a bitten neck</div><div>1 female hacked on the face with a stone axe</div><div>1 female strangled to death</div><div>1 male gets a thrown stone axe to the chest</div><div>1 male falls off a cliff</div><div>Total: 9</div>Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-37095602150046962322023-11-23T03:45:00.006+08:002023-11-28T10:40:32.188+08:00Carve Us Some Meat, John Carver: Thanksgiving (2023) <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifQthb_APZvGyvM4lW0JMPynEpevoC3IuKMvj4XffnKcir6PS8A3EooAAqcyIUdmYWWmR0llGOmKxS7r7hSJ6vjmiDRjWcZfgHKp6Kfu_5PrezyuD30uOQFZy_6b3x2SdUplIM0DU_IQzjTCyPzoKN8Kd3IcGHL2t22a-8RZaiIinDLu-NAvaZV2a7ENw/s985/Thanksgiving%20Title.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="443" data-original-width="985" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifQthb_APZvGyvM4lW0JMPynEpevoC3IuKMvj4XffnKcir6PS8A3EooAAqcyIUdmYWWmR0llGOmKxS7r7hSJ6vjmiDRjWcZfgHKp6Kfu_5PrezyuD30uOQFZy_6b3x2SdUplIM0DU_IQzjTCyPzoKN8Kd3IcGHL2t22a-8RZaiIinDLu-NAvaZV2a7ENw/w400-h180/Thanksgiving%20Title.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Thanksgiving (2023)<div>Rating: ****</div><div>Starring: Patrick Dempsey, Ty Olsson, Gina Gershon</div><div><br /></div><div>Ever since director Eli Roth tossed in a fake trailer about a slasher film taking place in Thanksgiving, complete with an axe-wielding pilgrim and a decapitated turkey mascot, in the double-feature exploitation throwback <b>Grindhouse (2007)</b>, a lot of slasher fans wanted the film to become a reality, even more so when the other featured fake trailers got their own movie adaptations, namely <b>Machete (2010)</b> and <b>Hobo With A Shotgun (2011)</b>. Now, sixteen years later after long believed to be a dead project, we are thankful to say that we finally have another Thanksgiving slasher to gorge on! </div><div><br /></div><div>It was Thanksgiving night in Plymouth, Massachusetts when tragedy struck the town, as the staff of a local big box retailer, lacking much security against the horde of pissed-off consumers, got swarmed during its Black Friday sale. A riot quickly formed, resulting to one security guard trampled, the store manager's wife accidentally killed and a few other fatal casualties among the injured many. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWQ5w333uR-BFhPSVztRqDs71WAYimNV3H-4QrVAKFFJi16_op-F45SGrdX2wNk0h76vjJAj6t3AV1M3wZyiAtABuviZsgtX47uJvWYOeIkwJ51E7n5ajqWei4jaCTtR5shyi6yD-a1b1tYBuwGSFQCjPY8FihOkQiluK-IpcyhOozbuF3LERvM8NMMD8/s1324/Thanksgiving1.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="747" data-original-width="1324" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWQ5w333uR-BFhPSVztRqDs71WAYimNV3H-4QrVAKFFJi16_op-F45SGrdX2wNk0h76vjJAj6t3AV1M3wZyiAtABuviZsgtX47uJvWYOeIkwJ51E7n5ajqWei4jaCTtR5shyi6yD-a1b1tYBuwGSFQCjPY8FihOkQiluK-IpcyhOozbuF3LERvM8NMMD8/w320-h181/Thanksgiving1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Jump ahead a year and the owner of the store (Rick Hoffman) opted to continue its operation despite the protests of a small mob who are still bitter from the fiasco. In turn, Jessica (Nell Verlaque), who’s the daughter of said store owner, finds herself and her friends in an odd and vaguely unsettling social media tag featuring cryptic messages and a picture of a Thanksgiving dinner set with their names on it. Being partially responsible of the mob riot of one yesteryear ago, the group can't help but see this as jab on them, but they try their best to ignore it, hide their guilt and move on from the incident. Little do they know is that someone is going to make sure they own up to it, along with a few other folks linked to the deaths that occurred during that horrible holiday scuffle. </div><div><br /></div><div>Soon, a killer wearing a creepy John Carver mask and suited in full Pilgrim wear is carving up the guilty ones with an axe. The town sheriff (Patrick Dempsey) quickly pieces together that the victims all had something to do with last year's Thanksgiving riot, but with so many people involved that night, pointing out potential suspects is no easy task. Eventually, Jessica has an encounter with ole' John Carver and nearly got her head chopped off in the matter, forcing her and her friends to help with the investigation and put a stop to the masked slasher, even more so when their threatened number is quickly dwindling down to none. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir7EmydrLIkinNSprFLCZ0Yvsr2kuQuuBSU4fNu0vbIG4glWOUdAC2wJdSi1g7O4Dr5a9vSzhaZts2cl56BPNGN3voHx2jjtvPRtxksWkbYkr3BJiXeEPEAQoPXt1dycrhQ6BhtHkZV0SG_1DS-BpKGMND43yhs4hF62tkQVhEzK9et3CUomO_lEIM_0o/s1323/Thanksgiving2.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="745" data-original-width="1323" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir7EmydrLIkinNSprFLCZ0Yvsr2kuQuuBSU4fNu0vbIG4glWOUdAC2wJdSi1g7O4Dr5a9vSzhaZts2cl56BPNGN3voHx2jjtvPRtxksWkbYkr3BJiXeEPEAQoPXt1dycrhQ6BhtHkZV0SG_1DS-BpKGMND43yhs4hF62tkQVhEzK9et3CUomO_lEIM_0o/w320-h180/Thanksgiving2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div>With a good murder mystery at play and savage kills from a cool-looking killer to boot, <b>Thankgiving (2023)</b> practically shows that director Eli Roth knows his way around the bodycounting sub-genre, piecing in a lot of fair and fun tributes to many slasher tropes and playing them with a right balance of dread and humor. You'll pretty much get moments like John Carver gutting a poor tubby sap with an electric knife and decapitated them with a deadly wire, before having him taking the time to properly feed his victim's now ownerless cat before legging it out with a severed head which will later turn up as a macabre centerpiece of a dinner table. Its direction and writing basically juggles its tones with a considerably good balance and I am glad to say that it holds well through a good bulk of the plot, emphasizing the serious threat of the murders as the authorities and the targeted teenagers try piecing together clues regarding the identity of the maniac behind the mask, all the while sidelining to a silly <b>My Bloody Valentine (1981)</b>-inspired love triangle with potential red herrings, quirky discussions involving a character's unusual nickname, or visits to the local gun-totting, drug-dealing idiot played by Joe Delfin who, honestly, have to be my favorite character out of the bunch for how increasingly silly he gets in his attempts to be cool with the kids and even help them. A good swing on the acting department definitely helps make whole mystery gig watchable, plus the cordial portrayal of the friend group is just refreshing to watch.</div><div><br /></div>Many of the ridiculous yet brutal holiday carnage of massacred parades and human "turkey" cook-outs are lifted from the original faux trailer that inspired this film, though more noticeably polished and not as exploitative. (we still got the trampoline striptease, for one, but it didn't end with a near-naked cheerleader doing the splits unto an erect knife by accident) The movie wisely makes up for it with a great deal of gory effects and a better variety for its kills, from standard slayings of twisted heads and knife stabbings, to savage ends like a live-broadcasted head crushing and even a full face impalement courtesy of a runaway ship prop, most of it done under the horrifically twisted spirit of the Fall holiday. On top of that, <b>Thanksgiving (2023)</b> have the good grace of giving us real nail-biting chase sequences that hearken back to a couple of slasher classics, one channeling <b>Prom Night (1980)</b> as a teen find themselves alone and hunted in a school with an axe-wielding maniac, the other bringing pitchfork horror vibes ala <b>The Prowler (1981)</b> as a victim plays cat-and-mouse with the killer (who accidentally made his mask cooler by leaving one side to burn on a pre-heating oven) inside a dilapidated yet well-equipped lair.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmmxSPZ7ii8z4X-G7WP9Rqw08lgLgbpH9ebvdhSaARARqjcArYRFvYkMubOXiyxUw6NrzaFowC-FUZmM1b6lfNJnkHv94kEOuHkqO7p4BxdRqHQxL3Tmmu6JQGUhCVF83MzrQUmEuf-34NlTHJ1Skor839oqubrjyMCe0uWx1Qm04IuypDWxJPPV8l4bw/s1244/Thanksgiving3.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="691" data-original-width="1244" height="178" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmmxSPZ7ii8z4X-G7WP9Rqw08lgLgbpH9ebvdhSaARARqjcArYRFvYkMubOXiyxUw6NrzaFowC-FUZmM1b6lfNJnkHv94kEOuHkqO7p4BxdRqHQxL3Tmmu6JQGUhCVF83MzrQUmEuf-34NlTHJ1Skor839oqubrjyMCe0uWx1Qm04IuypDWxJPPV8l4bw/w320-h178/Thanksgiving3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Of all the things the movie did right, however, <b>Thanksgiving (2023)</b> did loose a few footings and clumsily stumbled down in places, mainly within its last act. It's kinda disappointing as a potentially good set-up was there; John Carver have gathered all of his victims, the surviving ones tied to chairs while corpses of the unfortunate others are propped up in seats, used as decors or even served as the main course in a horrifying sight that comes across something out of <b>Happy Birthday To Me (1981)</b> and <b>The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)</b>. The killer does a fine job delivering a twisted monologue taunting his victims and even adding another body to the count, but then two of the survivors manage to escape and that leads to a backwoods chase that ends just as it started. A supposed twist is then revealed, only to be undone by another and, again, the film looks like it's gearing up for another fun chase sequence, this time involving 16th century muskets and a pick-up truck, but that's also wrapped up abruptly without much fanfare (despite the big blaze involved) and leaves us with a stale parting gift of a predictable jumpscare, as well as a sequel bait as (say it with me) <i>no body was found</i>. This whole finale is simply a hack job in the editing department, terribly rushed with too many survivors and a reveal that should've been good given that the story had the chance to dwell on it further. Still, it could have been worse. Way worse.</div><div><br /></div><div>Stuffed with enough good bits to make most slashers fun, <b>Thanksgiving (2023)</b> is a welcome addition to holiday bodycounters, one that serves a platter of carnage, satire and witty humor, as well as a decent tribute to the golden age of dead teenager flicks. It may not hit all the marks right, but there's still plenty of a killer treat to be found here. Serve it up and gobble it down!</div><div><br /></div><div>Bodycount:</div><div>1 male trampled to death</div><div>1 male had his neck caught and cut on a glass shard, bled to death</div><div>1 female hit on the head by an incoming shopping cart, neck broken</div><div>1 female split in half in a car-crushed dumpster bin</div><div>1 male stabbed in the gut with an electric knife, decapitated with a thin wire</div><div>1 male had his head twisted</div><div>1 female pushed to a table saw, eviscerated</div><div>1 male decapitated with an axe</div><div>1 male had his head impaled by a projected bowsprit</div><div>1 female impaled on a thrown pitchfork, cooked to death inside an oven</div><div>1 female seen dead from multiple stab wounds</div><div>1 male had his skull bashed apart with a meat tenderizer</div><div>Total: 12</div><div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Images (c) Google</span></div>Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-71329379581599000162023-11-20T16:35:00.002+08:002023-11-21T10:23:13.264+08:00Gory Gory Youth Group Camp: Sardines (In The Dark) (2023 Novella)<b><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA0aL4odbQogUEMb3ORRYTEx5rvNUZtnfFGqFC7AZ6Gof53LHzlYO9CA_hh0AH8el5iPC3cIzI0ij8thKbMI-yYYxjCX9pQzsSsjOA9QhnugZFir1o4N7olCH3TWnfd8DdlEF04keIpRPde1iRRXUdZwNSZL2RfEdqIsM9vLfkF9RQvZhImJdGrmLc1KQ/s1500/71wQekJwrsL._SL1500_.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="911" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA0aL4odbQogUEMb3ORRYTEx5rvNUZtnfFGqFC7AZ6Gof53LHzlYO9CA_hh0AH8el5iPC3cIzI0ij8thKbMI-yYYxjCX9pQzsSsjOA9QhnugZFir1o4N7olCH3TWnfd8DdlEF04keIpRPde1iRRXUdZwNSZL2RfEdqIsM9vLfkF9RQvZhImJdGrmLc1KQ/w242-h400/71wQekJwrsL._SL1500_.jpg" width="242" /></a></div>Sardines (In The Dark)</b><br />Author: Judith Sonnet<br />Publication Year: 2023<br />Chapters: 10<br />Rating: ***1/2<div><br /></div><div>Sometimes you just want to relax with a good story without going through an essay's worth of pages just to finish a single chapter. Sometimes you just feel like getting a quick read for a good shot of fantastical entertainment in one sitting before readying ourselves for a full day ahead. Often at times I find myself very busy balancing business with pleasure, thus a cheap paperback novella such as this gore-soaked nightmare is just what the horror doctor ordered for a fun-sized page-turner.</div><div><br /></div><div>The story follows the young members of an evangelical-free church's youth group enjoying their Fall Break retreat at some rented cabins in the woods when one of their newest members suggests a new game for them to play; <i>Sardines</i>, were one person hides while the others look for them in the dark and whoever finds the hider have to hide with them. Last person to find the group would be "it" on the next round. The kids are excited to play the game, save our protagonist, fifteen-year old Kylie, who really isn't getting into the vibe of playing what's technically hide-and-seek in the dark, but she felt a tad more daring that night to give it a try since her bestfriends Jackie and Harold are joining, too.</div><div><br /></div><div>Unbeknownst and unfortunately for this youth group, something else decided to join the game. Something hulking and powerful. Something twisted with a crazed smile. Something with a taste for warm flesh.<br /><div><br /></div><div>Originally published by its author as a part of an out-of-print collection of horror shorts titled <b>Your God Can't Save You</b>, <b>Sardines (In The Dark)</b> is an unrelenting example of splatterpunk horror fiction in its prime, vividly describing extreme torture and gore through out the pages while taking the time to tackle religious horror centering on traumatic upbringings and uncertainties. Being a novella, however, the book doesn't dive too deep into its religious subtexts and it's mostly used here to slightly flesh out the characters for a paragraph or two before they're pounded to death with a mallet, or give the antagonist a cliched motive behind the massacre. No, the book strongly focuses more on style over substance, more on shock factor and visceral exploitation as not only do the murders go on brutal lengths wording the bodily destructions, but a few of these kills were also done to awfully young victims and the killer even indulges in some really screwed-up shit like wearing a severed head in a manner that's disturbingly and disgustingly perverse.</div><div><br /></div><div>And speaking of, the book's monstrous villain is certainly quite a disturbing aberration, described as a near-naked muscular freak cloaked in nothing but a rain slicker, bearing a misshapen head, red eyes, almond-shaped teeth and an amazing display of strength. It's revealed to be non-human way too early into the book but, considering the novella is aiming to capitalize on brutality, I wouldn't be surprised if it was done that way to give the writer more opportunity to pen about the creature's terrifying penchant for mutilating victims through sheer strength. It doesn't dilly-dally on getting the ball rolling, too, with the gore quota starting as soon as the second chapter introduces the story's murderous being and its blunt weapon of choice, steadily going through one victim to the next in a consistent pace and an unwavering savage tone, eventually leading to a few interesting curveballs such as who's actually behind the killing spree, as well as the true nature of the killer which is, admittedly, creepy. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>Sardines (In The Dark)</b> never really went anywhere beyond its basic supernatural slasher plotting of groups splitting up and finding reasons to walk into spooky spots in the dark only to be horribly killed by an abomination, but it does make up for it with an effectively violent direction and a good flair of traumatizing writing. It's not for the faint of heart, but if you think you have a strong stomach for nightmarish splatter and gross killers, then I say give this one a read! </div><div><br /></div><div><div>Bodycount: 12</div><div>Notable Kill: "<i>He felt the wooden mallet slam between his legs with so much force that it scooted him back toward the wall. The mallet was lifted and brought down again. Its wooden rim detonated his testicles against the dirt floor. He felt his left ball mash into a squirting paste in his jeans. The other seemed to crawl out from its skin sheath," </i></div><div><br /></div></div><div>And that's just the beginning for this poor chap. Not to mention this is just the <b>first</b> kill from of the entire novella!</div></div>Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-65914709497145613282023-11-16T15:38:00.002+08:002023-11-18T09:53:02.419+08:00Breaking The Breakfast Clubs: Study Hell (2007) and Getting Schooled (2017) Double Bill Review If I had a nickel for every time we get a slasher movie about combat shocked army veterans-turned-terror teachers losing it on problem students and going mad with murder, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice! By different writers and directors!<div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgppEt_iYdpLLIx9No7QujlhfMH9XwjSITftebNEMgqb4mLPlt_2QMd512OAMAq_oY18-tXnzOswAa6Z7xsf-O-sPhfMwD8bjT-cORVxsdA_sMOMpbC_9IV636VThXw4S-QHdgKs1IvlN5aGmJjCdoJXA0f8r0ObuK62EkdBlWTrIoncgbosm_YKP2QWsQ/s1312/Study%20Hell%20(2006).mp4_000085502.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="741" data-original-width="1312" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgppEt_iYdpLLIx9No7QujlhfMH9XwjSITftebNEMgqb4mLPlt_2QMd512OAMAq_oY18-tXnzOswAa6Z7xsf-O-sPhfMwD8bjT-cORVxsdA_sMOMpbC_9IV636VThXw4S-QHdgKs1IvlN5aGmJjCdoJXA0f8r0ObuK62EkdBlWTrIoncgbosm_YKP2QWsQ/w400-h226/Study%20Hell%20(2006).mp4_000085502.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Study Hell (Canada, 2007)</div><div>Rating: **</div><div>Starring: Lindsay Dell, Brian Austin Jr., Stephen McDougall</div><div><br /></div><div>Donald Keller (Stephen McDougall) is a teacher with issues; he doesn't appear to be that motivated to teach, a lot of the other staff is creeped out by him, he once showed up in a pep rally drunk and, oh, he appears to be suffering from PTSD after witnessing the horrors of the Vietnam war as a Black-Ops army captain! But the school principal he works under is willing to give him another chance to better himself and it just so happens there's a handful of troublemakers attending afterschool detention who needs a teacher to keep an eye out on them. </div><div><br /></div><div>The wannabe-<b>Breakfast Club</b> gets a small taste of Keller's overly strict disciplining as he orders them to write an essay as to why they deserve their punishment while he takes care of some personal matters, though what the gang doesn't know is that their night's about to become deadly when the school janitor decided to confront Keller about a wrongfully accused man and the massacre of an entire cheerleading team that the teacher may have been involved in. This snaps Keller's already fragile psyche, sending him down to a murderous streak as he now sees everyone who defies him as enemy combatants punishable by death!</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGNjTr0LxRRmZ7E34lbDU1bs2oqRj-Yt1_yqjvBilh69TR1f03trSIjIRVHKzcbewTmEkeMC86gcZiFYHwbN1uHxKiUpvgSnoCFgziDLKb6rdwzrTlnpFJvPI-vkbI-RKyo4NUig81oszfbqQQ7yPv1cjUyQ1pqaap714Gnll5Z-BcQHBkxyXE_FhwznM/s848/Study%20Hell%20(2006).mp4_000644852.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="478" data-original-width="848" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGNjTr0LxRRmZ7E34lbDU1bs2oqRj-Yt1_yqjvBilh69TR1f03trSIjIRVHKzcbewTmEkeMC86gcZiFYHwbN1uHxKiUpvgSnoCFgziDLKb6rdwzrTlnpFJvPI-vkbI-RKyo4NUig81oszfbqQQ7yPv1cjUyQ1pqaap714Gnll5Z-BcQHBkxyXE_FhwznM/w400-h225/Study%20Hell%20(2006).mp4_000644852.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />This being a shot-on-video production, it comes to almost no surprise that <b>Study Hell (2007)</b> has all the trademarks of a low budget do-it-yourself horror film; the casts juggle from underacting to overacting their roles and the direction tries too hard to build its characters for depth that it occasionally winds down to drag out an insipid sentimental scene or two, only to succeed very little for how forced it all feels, as well as how low-grade cheesy the scripting it is. (John Hughes, writer Jeff McArthur ain't) Cinematography is done through a cheap camera with little to no regards on lighting or style and the lack of editing in its audio means it hardly syncs, so the volume fluctuates from loud to low and back time to time. </div><div><br /></div><div>There is no denying that this here is a rubbish film, a bottom scrap from a barrel of terrible shlock, but frankly, it's not without its good points; I do like the idea of <b>Study Hell (2007)</b>'s concept of a madman teacher going psycho on the high school brat pack, forcing these misfits to band together in order to survive. It's a plot that has great horror potential and this movie could've done a well enough job on that front if only the execution had more effort put into it. Still, its amateurish cheesiness at least got me chuckling as much as I am groaning from its questionable production values, especially on how over-the-top our villain is once he goes into full post-war trauma triggered and dishing out dumb quirky one-liners. If only the murders were anywhere interesting, though, as the budget restrains limited a good dose of the killings to be done offcamera and those that happened onscreen barely showed any form of creativity or thrill to them. (Save, maybe, one involving a locker rigged with projecting daggers?) By the hour mark, most of the casts are dead and we're left with our final girl and final boy wandering around air vents and secret tunnels trying to find a way out, only to end up fending off Mr. Keller from one awkwardly staged fight choreography to the next, which is nothing but bad yet hilarious popcorn moments! </div><div><br /></div><div><b><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAu43nem6Pbcqk57Jy6TDYDL25a1ZvZZTCqUg2B6ibACrTI6FmLMJCPY6_RDU6uHuQxJOW7Ny8XXxyjZicFBU-kDp2DaT-CdgpGZ7c3vqe6QjQY2z2OIhW4ZQsRcWkY8D8cczIy-9uqHWMQi8FCDQRaOUwzY5KuAG39228KhEVxyY85VtwyjVTjO_0pwM/s847/Study%20Hell%20(2006).mp4_002396185.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="475" data-original-width="847" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAu43nem6Pbcqk57Jy6TDYDL25a1ZvZZTCqUg2B6ibACrTI6FmLMJCPY6_RDU6uHuQxJOW7Ny8XXxyjZicFBU-kDp2DaT-CdgpGZ7c3vqe6QjQY2z2OIhW4ZQsRcWkY8D8cczIy-9uqHWMQi8FCDQRaOUwzY5KuAG39228KhEVxyY85VtwyjVTjO_0pwM/w400-h224/Study%20Hell%20(2006).mp4_002396185.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Study Hell (2007)</b> is a difficult film to defend at the end. There's just too much from it missing to be considered a workable movie, but the corny results and the unintentional hilarity earned the pic a bit of a soft spot from me so I cannot completely diss it. If you like bad slashers (like, really REALLY like them), or if you are simply curious to see how much of a train wreck this bodycounter is for yourself, then I say give it at least a go. But if you think you could do better then, yes, you could certainly do better. Way better.</div><div><br /></div><div>Bodycount:</div><div>9 females found slaughtered</div><div>1 female found slaughtered, body stuffed in a locker</div><div>1 female stabbed in the mouth with a pair of scissors</div><div>1 male hanged with a stage curtain's pulley rope</div><div>1 female stabbed in the back with an ice pick</div><div>1 male beaten, had his head repeatedly crushed with a door</div><div>2 males seen dead in a battlefield (flashback)</div><div>1 male shot through the neck with an arrow</div><div>1 female had her face mutilated by rigged daggers</div><div>1 male dragged away, killed offscreen</div><div>2 males seen dead in a battlefield (flashback)</div><div>1 male killed, method unknown</div><div>Total: 22</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">~~~</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF_O9un1SBlFOKRTk7mF7-XHbpSoXrfpCCVasXJZtdM25I9WpyYrFKq5kPtOYB87RwYRGpYncwjT5SV1O5RuA_vGSY_WIjSZr4hiMZ3-EsiUoB9_-ocdjEiQU7M1nwyeRwb13rqme6k6x9NnY7Ez_XvC8Fix30HXD8NTmY7Sa9WqPkhJkHvvXORaPUWTQ/s1524/Getting%20Schooled%202017.mp4_000055600.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="631" data-original-width="1524" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF_O9un1SBlFOKRTk7mF7-XHbpSoXrfpCCVasXJZtdM25I9WpyYrFKq5kPtOYB87RwYRGpYncwjT5SV1O5RuA_vGSY_WIjSZr4hiMZ3-EsiUoB9_-ocdjEiQU7M1nwyeRwb13rqme6k6x9NnY7Ez_XvC8Fix30HXD8NTmY7Sa9WqPkhJkHvvXORaPUWTQ/w400-h165/Getting%20Schooled%202017.mp4_000055600.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Getting Schooled (2017)</div><div>Rating: ***</div><div>Starring: Mayra Leal, Tom Long, Roland Ruiz</div><div><br /></div><div>It's the 20th of April, 1983; troubled outcast Julie, cheerleader princess Hillary, hooligan Rusty, meathead jock Mike and bespectacled nerdette Shelley find themselves spending their Saturday in detention for various misconducts and their wheelchair-bound monitor Mr. Roker is not too pleased babysitting these delinquents. Everybody is just dying to get out and spend the weekend anywhere than an empty classroom, but this little afterschool confinement would become a fight for survival when, after a projector accidentally falls on Mr. Roker, a head trauma triggers the teacher's PTSD from his days as a Black Ops unit and is now under the delusion that the kids are trying to kill him, so he's hellbent on killing them first.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7vSFhhIrhu0oQgzoWcQUV0K50Y2e8cwetCw-VJ0kjCRqQGwB0ZZT38E-GVNZevCXe26Zrb4ALdOUxjdBK2yInK0qUnLgb9UU-6hoJBOf72Z9k3KyTLb71jaJzefbqhxRFp0M_YHUEyhxD9liOvCNh4pFkvHL64sweR9NCRK9jx_9jQu3DOhL_-7Dy5yE/s3040/Getting%20Schooled%202017.mp4_000683480.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="616" data-original-width="3040" height="81" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7vSFhhIrhu0oQgzoWcQUV0K50Y2e8cwetCw-VJ0kjCRqQGwB0ZZT38E-GVNZevCXe26Zrb4ALdOUxjdBK2yInK0qUnLgb9UU-6hoJBOf72Z9k3KyTLb71jaJzefbqhxRFp0M_YHUEyhxD9liOvCNh4pFkvHL64sweR9NCRK9jx_9jQu3DOhL_-7Dy5yE/w400-h81/Getting%20Schooled%202017.mp4_000683480.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Trapped in a locked empty school with a murderous paraplegic Vietnam vet skilled and strong enough to take them down one by one, the motely crew have no choice but to work together in order to live through Mr. Roker's deadly war games, as well as find a way to kill off the maddened teacher before he ends them all!</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Getting Schooled (2017)</b> is basically the melting pot mess you would get when one would outfit John Hughes' coming-of-age teen dramedy <b>The Breakfast Club (1985)</b> with the sensibilities of a low-budget B-grade throwback to 80s slasher flicks. It's filled with the common clichés and trappings of a bad bodycounter pic, mainly subpar acting and sub-standard writing resulting to caricature characters and tonal shifts juggling between being funny and emotional, though the direction do feel like it knows the absurdity of the story, occasionally willing to let loose on being silly for the giggles while squeezing in some bit of hammy drama in an attempt to give the movie a bit of weight. It doesn't always work, of course, but the courtesy of being entertainingly cheesy do help lessen the corny blows, not to mention the daringness of the plot to go into mean-spirited territories when it's called for.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC5QBKfTcR2tH-WvU7Tm0aYD41_q5BMGlmevwAV5z-9HhcHqK0npo8A9Q_je7nq5eGhso7W94pIsONWBNOIwu7orAcC9_cTg7j8Tkpsh8Vamnnkzah_ic2S9Rw0kgZpc4UxSnIr0ioH14I3xCWIqAVsVcvpwzXOQd0WBdnwiEZbEKaQamikbbHKbTAlxQ/s3044/Getting%20Schooled%202017.mp4_001562320.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="628" data-original-width="3044" height="83" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC5QBKfTcR2tH-WvU7Tm0aYD41_q5BMGlmevwAV5z-9HhcHqK0npo8A9Q_je7nq5eGhso7W94pIsONWBNOIwu7orAcC9_cTg7j8Tkpsh8Vamnnkzah_ic2S9Rw0kgZpc4UxSnIr0ioH14I3xCWIqAVsVcvpwzXOQd0WBdnwiEZbEKaQamikbbHKbTAlxQ/w400-h83/Getting%20Schooled%202017.mp4_001562320.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Frankly, they have an interesting angle here when it comes to the slasher elements; it's not very often we get physically handicapped killers in the sub-genre (though not for the lack of trying as seen with titles like <b>Hellroller (1992)</b> or <b>Highwaymen (2004)</b>) and Mr. Roker surprisingly does a pretty good job being a real menace on four wheels, sadistically enjoying torturing his victims before slaughtering them all under the trauma of post-war combat. He is terrifyingly resilient and tough enough to out-grapple those who tried to brawl with him, often resulting to refreshingly graphic kills that made good use of the budget to dish out gory splatter and bloody dismemberments through sloppy practical effects, as well as gruesome make-up work for the aftermath bodies from the movie's few offscreen slayings. </div><div><br /></div><div>Production-wise, <b>Getting Schooled (2017)</b> is far from the most polished indie slasher, but it plays nice with its camera work, giving us a good bunch of expressively creative shots and lighting for both its horror and comedic angles. Costume and design do lean heavily on the stereotypical and cartoony, making the throwback aesthetics sort of a miss unless you look at it with a joking eye. Pacing does hobble, especially whenever the movie decides to slow down for the sake of giving its characters a moment to bond cheesily or spew pointless monologues, but the film's last act sort of makes up for it as the comedic elements were almost dropped in favor of grounding how much of an actual threat Mr. Roker has become now that he nearly killed off everybody. (Including Ron Jeremy in an extended cameo as a sleazy school janitor)</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn1VpJZUzWLcn8Sil-bM3N13AVeVm2fBvlhx8r4VpPP2AQniJlCam7zpoS5seFxgNlx-6cea6oaQwrXxyopGtjMiAQn2A_43LcmkfbpxDuPt4ys0_01J63elCWJI0Myjrqru3O3I9yRl2zgxdCldthnE1QNvOjXiFqwP-NAsyGeZfMmgZ_pUKBTYFvawk/s3044/Getting%20Schooled%202017.mp4_002983120.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="624" data-original-width="3044" height="83" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn1VpJZUzWLcn8Sil-bM3N13AVeVm2fBvlhx8r4VpPP2AQniJlCam7zpoS5seFxgNlx-6cea6oaQwrXxyopGtjMiAQn2A_43LcmkfbpxDuPt4ys0_01J63elCWJI0Myjrqru3O3I9yRl2zgxdCldthnE1QNvOjXiFqwP-NAsyGeZfMmgZ_pUKBTYFvawk/w400-h83/Getting%20Schooled%202017.mp4_002983120.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />As clunky as it is as a cheesy slasher riff, <b>Getting Schooled (2017)</b> can be a fair watch if you're not demanding a lot from it, nor try making too much sense out of the whole deal. (I mean, for one, had it ever occurred to these kids to try hurting Roker with long-ranged weapons seeing, you know, he's on a chair?) It's good enough for laugh or two and its splatter-rich kills are a welcome sight, so I'll give this deadly detention a passing grade of <b>'B'</b>, for B-flick.</div><div><br /></div><div>Bodycount:</div><div>1 female had her head repeatedly crushed with a radio</div><div>1 male stabbed in the neck with a screwdriver, fed with acid</div><div>1 male had a hand chopped off with a paper guillotine, later found slaughtered</div><div>1 male ran through and eviscerated with a wood saw</div><div>1 female found disemboweled and her eyes gouged</div><div>1 male skewered through the neck with a broken flag pole</div><div>1 female decapitated with a dropped sign</div><div>1 male dropped from a building, head splattered open</div><div>Total: 8</div>Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-3945904013158635322023-11-10T05:58:00.000+08:002023-11-10T05:58:48.674+08:00My Bloody Reunions: To Become One (2002) <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYvxWtfYkALrmSzg6B3T8UDMAnIUJZZ7PDAh2Hk5V6jUFOObtxSXBWEem038oWvRMC-OPqqv7ZyI9x6UciXkeXVPdwzLvjbl1QBPPcL8OBrBOMOQjAa165LbBxPVoQ-a_sbVUzb-0XykE1j1lvxCo0GiwWseevXnFC7Kt5PCX2_H3DDORdlOVhWvX4UZ8/s640/%D0%92%D0%BE%D1%81%D1%81%D0%BE%D0%B5%D0%B4%D0%B8%D0%BD%D0%B5%D0%BD%D0%B8%D0%B5%20_%20To%20Become%20One%20(2002).mp4_000062842.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="640" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYvxWtfYkALrmSzg6B3T8UDMAnIUJZZ7PDAh2Hk5V6jUFOObtxSXBWEem038oWvRMC-OPqqv7ZyI9x6UciXkeXVPdwzLvjbl1QBPPcL8OBrBOMOQjAa165LbBxPVoQ-a_sbVUzb-0XykE1j1lvxCo0GiwWseevXnFC7Kt5PCX2_H3DDORdlOVhWvX4UZ8/w400-h225/%D0%92%D0%BE%D1%81%D1%81%D0%BE%D0%B5%D0%B4%D0%B8%D0%BD%D0%B5%D0%BD%D0%B8%D0%B5%20_%20To%20Become%20One%20(2002).mp4_000062842.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>To Become One (Australia, 2002)<div>Rating: **</div><div>Starring: David Vallon, Emma Grasso, Jamie Giddens</div><div><br /></div><div>Hey, dear readers! Ever wondered what would <b>The Human Centipede (2009)</b> would be like if it was a slasher? No? Well, good for you! You're completely sane and I don't have to worry about you! But, yeah, that's what this low-budget early-2000s Ozploitation reminds me of. Minus the poop thing.</div><div><br /></div><div>A year after seeing her dear mum get sliced in half by a killer donning a gas mask, Melinda was just celebrating her birthday with friends one night when the same masked maniac shows up to ruin the evening, slaughtering a couple of guests. More of Melinda's buds are then bumped off no soon after, forcing the rest of the gang to try saving themselves from being murdered by driving into the countryside. (Which meant they'll be far from civilization and any potential help, surely making themselves convenient for the killer to pick off one by one. And some of you wonder why I often root for the killers in these films...)</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkk7Vohywb_sVZM6pizkLPON-I092d-WoA9f1pQzKQbCorKRQeqpb0iGLZELjJ6rz-xfIEUMu10YGxnnGriYGTo7uLda3aCwelDKc7LEGml-FR9sFXG0-4LtUNmOw3u4dqePA7P5NHAnYusrBlQA5OyasGuQ7W_A7jDMejHSdFeTNBiC9OpXModbKzdcw/s1278/%D0%92%D0%BE%D1%81%D1%81%D0%BE%D0%B5%D0%B4%D0%B8%D0%BD%D0%B5%D0%BD%D0%B8%D0%B5%20_%20To%20Become%20One%20(2002).mp4_000178524.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="714" data-original-width="1278" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkk7Vohywb_sVZM6pizkLPON-I092d-WoA9f1pQzKQbCorKRQeqpb0iGLZELjJ6rz-xfIEUMu10YGxnnGriYGTo7uLda3aCwelDKc7LEGml-FR9sFXG0-4LtUNmOw3u4dqePA7P5NHAnYusrBlQA5OyasGuQ7W_A7jDMejHSdFeTNBiC9OpXModbKzdcw/w400-h224/%D0%92%D0%BE%D1%81%D1%81%D0%BE%D0%B5%D0%B4%D0%B8%D0%BD%D0%B5%D0%BD%D0%B8%D0%B5%20_%20To%20Become%20One%20(2002).mp4_000178524.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />One car bomb decimated, two girls burnt to a crisp and a Carbine gun opened fire later, Melinda is chased into the woods where the killer finally corners her and this is when the movie begins to shift the curve because next thing you know, she's bound to a hospital bed and stuck inside an insane asylum where a doctor high on religious fervor plans to reunite her with a long lost family member ala surgery. Melinda must now find a way to escape the demented doctor and his crazed cohorts before she suffers a fate worse than death, all in the meantime taking a gander or two to what kind of delusions the sick surgeon is feeding himself, his staff and his congregation of patients.</div><div><br /></div><div>From teen slasher to medical-cum-cult horror, <b>To Become One (2002)</b> has the ambition to better itself and be more than just another slasher flick which is admirable, yes, even more so when the production only had to work a couple of grand. However, the clumsy execution of this gesture shows that the film still bit more than it could chew and it's distracting to say the least, more often within the movie's clunky ventures to stylize itself with warping colors and overly active camerawork, as well as dripping the horror drama elements with too many talky scenes that are just made worse by wearisome writing. There are no likeable characters to root for and the killer could have been this movie's strong point as they do rock a good gas mask and black trench coat combo, and the murders they commit have a decent splash of blood and gore to them, but all that's tossed away the moment they're unmasked midway into the movie and, before you know it, they're just annoying to watch. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUHd8t67VAIzDogDGfsuFzsKgxmcHwC68bYmvNBWQ359SlH3g_WWSlHne08Q0tOBilvmToIZ2vztyAWbDv0PDUwpq-mSab5Tr6_WCPCHoycs0mQWEYZVzMbqfhO9wqH6cUdLJQGBEwPC_s1GQYqrBs5UQMMEhgDzWwTyb2azO4wyqpqtuxjtQj1annakg/s1274/%D0%92%D0%BE%D1%81%D1%81%D0%BE%D0%B5%D0%B4%D0%B8%D0%BD%D0%B5%D0%BD%D0%B8%D0%B5%20_%20To%20Become%20One%20(2002).mp4_002471982.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="719" data-original-width="1274" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUHd8t67VAIzDogDGfsuFzsKgxmcHwC68bYmvNBWQ359SlH3g_WWSlHne08Q0tOBilvmToIZ2vztyAWbDv0PDUwpq-mSab5Tr6_WCPCHoycs0mQWEYZVzMbqfhO9wqH6cUdLJQGBEwPC_s1GQYqrBs5UQMMEhgDzWwTyb2azO4wyqpqtuxjtQj1annakg/w400-h226/%D0%92%D0%BE%D1%81%D1%81%D0%BE%D0%B5%D0%B4%D0%B8%D0%BD%D0%B5%D0%BD%D0%B8%D0%B5%20_%20To%20Become%20One%20(2002).mp4_002471982.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Finishing on an inevitably frantic note, <b>To Become One (2002)</b> is too much of an overworked yet underwhelming chore to watch as a whole; while the slasher half have a lot of dumb moments, it's somewhat entertaining with its badness, which is a lot more than I can say about the pretentious wannabe psycho-drama we're treated with in the other half. If you think about it, it doesn't really add up now, does it? Why does the killer even have to stalk and massacre Melinda's friends if the main goal here was to get her to the hospital and settle her for surgery? Why waste all that precious time and energy? I don't know. All I can tell is that there is a good idea to be found here, it's just messily handled in this blunder of a film. </div><div><br /></div><div>Bodycount:</div><div>1 female sliced in half with a sword</div><div>1 female ran through with a digging bar</div><div>1 female had her head skewered with a digging bar</div><div>1 female had her neck crushed and slashed open with metal claws</div><div>1 male garroted with a thin wire</div><div>2 females decimated with a bomb</div><div>1 elderly male passes away</div><div>1 male stabbed in the back with a knife</div><div>Total: 9</div>Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-4687542767839782022023-11-09T05:14:00.000+08:002023-11-09T05:14:40.345+08:00I Dream A Dream of A Better Dream: Heebie Jeebies (2005) <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI2rkn6Mh5jYSwKiuBprT2SE5X3jXAmJyt-UGdm9H1_jpZdyF-DQ_avjTL1XdK7BIdiIiMiozS16-KFDegYMcY8MLyj1aLZ3WC_HcCrVPIAoCBUB5PVmy2IiFeFxpdZJdVQF3GZv12wOppY2mOBpqcRnW8vFqg3m6fCsTjv4A9yEoNcGFHHE6K2WromFo/s640/%D0%9F%D1%80%D0%B5%D0%B4%D1%87%D1%83%D0%B2%D1%81%D1%82%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B5%20%D0%BA%D0%BE%D1%88%D0%BC%D0%B0%D1%80%D0%B0%20_%20Heebie%20Jeebies%20(2005).mp4_005081703.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="356" data-original-width="640" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI2rkn6Mh5jYSwKiuBprT2SE5X3jXAmJyt-UGdm9H1_jpZdyF-DQ_avjTL1XdK7BIdiIiMiozS16-KFDegYMcY8MLyj1aLZ3WC_HcCrVPIAoCBUB5PVmy2IiFeFxpdZJdVQF3GZv12wOppY2mOBpqcRnW8vFqg3m6fCsTjv4A9yEoNcGFHHE6K2WromFo/w400-h223/%D0%9F%D1%80%D0%B5%D0%B4%D1%87%D1%83%D0%B2%D1%81%D1%82%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B5%20%D0%BA%D0%BE%D1%88%D0%BC%D0%B0%D1%80%D0%B0%20_%20Heebie%20Jeebies%20(2005).mp4_005081703.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Heebie Jeebies (2005) (AKA "The Oak Hill Picture Show")<div>Rating: *1/2</div><div>Starring: Alex Balestrieri, Deb Billing, Amy Booth</div><div><br /></div><div>Whoa, wait, wait, wait, let me get the story straight here: a girl with clairvoyant dreams gets a nightmare of her old high school friends getting killed off, so she fakes an invitation for a reunion and have them meet up at an abandoned, dilapidated farmhouse in the middle of nowhere in order to protect them. At a farmhouse. A dilapidated and abandoned farmhouse. In the middle of nowhere.</div><div><br /></div><div>...This chick hadn't seen enough horror films to know that is the <b>stupidest</b> place to try and protect a bunch of people from a rampaging loon with a machete, had she?</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXPT11iTTALHF1QRGtxopfbRqa3BMbxiybav5LDgWkaW1fvhJSjzoTcmSEyiRxqLwQcM4jH605aiA1T4_Mmn8uhwsWfCB7SM8RU8InYcGrfRuoGJ6PwLlshDwJ2onaGnxCxS8mjBCwZvmrRs9MhYvWnt0HSzLlxvHxRWr9AVU4C3gf9IGs3_lz8_aSp38/s1277/%D0%9F%D1%80%D0%B5%D0%B4%D1%87%D1%83%D0%B2%D1%81%D1%82%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B5%20%D0%BA%D0%BE%D1%88%D0%BC%D0%B0%D1%80%D0%B0%20_%20Heebie%20Jeebies%20(2005).mp4_000443383.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="711" data-original-width="1277" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXPT11iTTALHF1QRGtxopfbRqa3BMbxiybav5LDgWkaW1fvhJSjzoTcmSEyiRxqLwQcM4jH605aiA1T4_Mmn8uhwsWfCB7SM8RU8InYcGrfRuoGJ6PwLlshDwJ2onaGnxCxS8mjBCwZvmrRs9MhYvWnt0HSzLlxvHxRWr9AVU4C3gf9IGs3_lz8_aSp38/w400-h223/%D0%9F%D1%80%D0%B5%D0%B4%D1%87%D1%83%D0%B2%D1%81%D1%82%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B5%20%D0%BA%D0%BE%D1%88%D0%BC%D0%B0%D1%80%D0%B0%20_%20Heebie%20Jeebies%20(2005).mp4_000443383.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Well, to no one's surprise, as day goes to night, our killer starts skulking around the farmhouse to prowl on them and hacking away their heads. (Mostly offscreen, but have a nice way of revealing the headless states of the victims, plus there's a fair dash of gore to be seen) There's supposed to be a big reveal as to who this mysterious slasher is but it's hard to miss the fact that we have that one shmuck missing during an entire slasher attack, even more so when you only have five characters to work with, so it's not hard to figure out who's headhunting that night.</div><div><br /></div><div>Now, it would have been a relatively short straight-to-video movie if <b>Heebie Jeebies (2005)</b> was just a straight-up slasher, so it also took the liberty of treating us with intermittent segments focused on our lead girl's nightmares, making this film an oddball anthology pic with a prank involving a moron with a prop scissor stuck on his head gone horrible wrong, gargoyle-like critters that only comes to life when its pitch-black dark (quite convenient for a low-budget shlock like this, am I right?) and a hit-and-run accident that gets worse when a good Samaritan suddenly gets involved. None of these are any better to watch than the main plot as they're all tedious, horribly shot, barely coherent audio-wise and crappily acted. Interestingly, only two of these segments tie in to the slasher backdrop, leaving the remaining one quite out of place, only adding more strangeness to an already bizarre bodycounter.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIi-ERXqbusuUIYg1y-S3eS-GeMR7B8dRy3mEWFVe2a3uetyiZwZl27FLoOW0WYaOEB605qxTucEKQN-D_354d3DJDP3u7IBFJBvVufjvsoWEASPQ6ORSGSZCCb7eZ0cZMcBes1MTf7H-3kXQ0tnBysymEG2-HFgenLMsUAr_2ORoy3rH6GldmX1ed2kE/s1274/%D0%9F%D1%80%D0%B5%D0%B4%D1%87%D1%83%D0%B2%D1%81%D1%82%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B5%20%D0%BA%D0%BE%D1%88%D0%BC%D0%B0%D1%80%D0%B0%20_%20Heebie%20Jeebies%20(2005).mp4_000677543.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="706" data-original-width="1274" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIi-ERXqbusuUIYg1y-S3eS-GeMR7B8dRy3mEWFVe2a3uetyiZwZl27FLoOW0WYaOEB605qxTucEKQN-D_354d3DJDP3u7IBFJBvVufjvsoWEASPQ6ORSGSZCCb7eZ0cZMcBes1MTf7H-3kXQ0tnBysymEG2-HFgenLMsUAr_2ORoy3rH6GldmX1ed2kE/w400-h221/%D0%9F%D1%80%D0%B5%D0%B4%D1%87%D1%83%D0%B2%D1%81%D1%82%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B5%20%D0%BA%D0%BE%D1%88%D0%BC%D0%B0%D1%80%D0%B0%20_%20Heebie%20Jeebies%20(2005).mp4_000677543.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />The last act fortunately delivers well on the stalk-and-stab action, but with very little salvageable at that point, it barely matters. I'm sure it looked good on paper, a slasher film that sidelines as an anthology, but with a lack of structuring, solid direction and proper ingenuity to work along its minuscule budget, <b>Heebie Jeebies (2005)</b> is simply a frustrating mess of a movie. Hard to watch with its distractingly low quality. Hard to sit through with its clumsy writing. Unless you're a curious horror fanatic or a die-hard slasher completist like <i>moi</i>, I say don't bother with it. You can do better with that video rental money...</div><div><br /></div><div>Bodycount:</div><div>1 male decapitated with a garden shear offscreen, head later seen</div><div>1 female decapitated with a machete</div><div>2 males slaughtered offcamera, mangled bodies seen</div><div>1 male killed, scream heard</div><div>1 male decapitated</div><div>1 female bashed with a shovel, fed into a woodchipper</div><div>1 female head found</div><div>1 male gets a machete dropped into his face</div><div>1 female decapitated with a machete</div><div>1 female hit by a car</div><div>Total: 11</div>Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-88977719583823262912023-11-07T14:40:00.001+08:002023-11-07T14:42:40.531+08:00China Doll Chopping: Bloody Night A Go Go (2005) <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwlqnOZsc8NxstOFa8lp80S7XCnIj_M_Dni809Zi2JQRtx4Se24-_z8kGyBacotjKu9g9Q5_VpaPf2ustpm80zvG5qOjF656fpaZV_iomcwqgtk456ZErroWS7rs3xNiENlEuVucuGrEMXK3RvRQRTSZ9XXJVp4ej3dM5ATFFE2yHDySQvRuBOC1twcPk/s988/Bloody%20Night%20a%20Go%20Go%20(2005).mp4_000126839.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="741" data-original-width="988" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwlqnOZsc8NxstOFa8lp80S7XCnIj_M_Dni809Zi2JQRtx4Se24-_z8kGyBacotjKu9g9Q5_VpaPf2ustpm80zvG5qOjF656fpaZV_iomcwqgtk456ZErroWS7rs3xNiENlEuVucuGrEMXK3RvRQRTSZ9XXJVp4ej3dM5ATFFE2yHDySQvRuBOC1twcPk/w400-h300/Bloody%20Night%20a%20Go%20Go%20(2005).mp4_000126839.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Bloody Night A Go Go (Japan, 2005)<div>Rating: **</div><div>Starring: Mitsuru Akaboshi, Maria Kitazawa, Wataru Koga</div><div><br /></div><div>In just a short span of an hour, <b>Bloody Night A Go Go (2005)</b> shows us what Japanese surrealism could do when merged with the typical teen slasher horror.</div><div><br /></div><div>Seven teenagers decided to sneak inside a mall after hours to try out its new Summer attraction, an indoor haunted house, just for the fun irony of it all as the shopping center does have a reputation of being haunted by the ghost of a young boy named Kenji. Unbeknownst to the group, Nanako, the youngest of them, appears to have a bit of history with the ghost boy and it's tied to a double murder that deeply traumatized her. Not long after the gang settle in the empty mall and starts canoodling inside the scare house, someone donning an overgrown china doll head, wielding a meat cleaver and dishing out some mean acrobatics begins hunting them down one by one. Could it be the infamous child ghost spooking up the place? Or perhaps it's an actual loon loose inside the mall?</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhabTdM-jJ9OSABSDTVyXUk00dTHBqzZB4ATA5AI9aanIRJoUk4xy8nDHBYQVgPZ5YRKnBD4I6kmxZV8-MOcljv5xMZ6UMYgwsPMjrEy8Pj5A-fochMJkQVPTbcAIT1bvBilRcoy51-vdQ5DQtt-trIAa1yPsEUiBvLJWvhlOuYwZSIJqB8aXPbo5BPElw/s1968/Bloody%20Night%20a%20Go%20Go%20(2005).mp4_000878358.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1478" data-original-width="1968" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhabTdM-jJ9OSABSDTVyXUk00dTHBqzZB4ATA5AI9aanIRJoUk4xy8nDHBYQVgPZ5YRKnBD4I6kmxZV8-MOcljv5xMZ6UMYgwsPMjrEy8Pj5A-fochMJkQVPTbcAIT1bvBilRcoy51-vdQ5DQtt-trIAa1yPsEUiBvLJWvhlOuYwZSIJqB8aXPbo5BPElw/w400-h300/Bloody%20Night%20a%20Go%20Go%20(2005).mp4_000878358.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div>In the meantime, we have an oddly-acted cooking show full of Chinese stereotypes, four girls working at a maid cafe hanging out in an apartment telling ghost stories and a ten minute post-credit rap battle, I kid you not.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Bloody Night A Go Go (2005)</b> flirts its standard bodycount story of doomed kids getting hacked to death by crazed maniacs with the strange and abstract, loaded with candy color lighting, uncanny camera effects and a schizophrenic direction. The resulting show is near-parodic and nonsensical in its structure, assaulting conventional horror tropes with showcases of trippy visuals and overacting talents yet still maintaining a good service of gimmicky deaths and bizarre villains. It's practically weird for the sake of weird, playing well into its offbeat execution that isn't without its hammy charms and fair laughs that often dips in the edge of silliness. Admittedly, there are moments where the movie tries to be serious and creepily atmospheric, but the effect is mostly lost within the whacky eccentricities of the tone, especially when you have scenes where the clunky-headed slasher effortlessly teleports and somersaults their way into slaying their victims before striking a mean pose, or when a wad of fermented beans is lethally sticky to the point it can tear someone's face off. So, less of your everyday paint-by-number dead teenager pic and more of a chaotic abstraction disguised as one. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXu07PK4W7ih32cxJQlDTYdJCcVQY5oYH_MA9WM82BJwjL_GmV380GGE4hvQzxD3_aA02TQfPWXc7Zjboqu08tuuMWtNWql7DP06AZQXohrnPFyWWpIH4nh9PZkhmT-zpckXxVU8An6NZlipCZ7473RbpyxmSQ5R6xj2md9CYvm_ZBQ74Cgc-WzD3AC5M/s1972/Bloody%20Night%20a%20Go%20Go%20(2005).mp4_002161641.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1472" data-original-width="1972" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXu07PK4W7ih32cxJQlDTYdJCcVQY5oYH_MA9WM82BJwjL_GmV380GGE4hvQzxD3_aA02TQfPWXc7Zjboqu08tuuMWtNWql7DP06AZQXohrnPFyWWpIH4nh9PZkhmT-zpckXxVU8An6NZlipCZ7473RbpyxmSQ5R6xj2md9CYvm_ZBQ74Cgc-WzD3AC5M/w400-h299/Bloody%20Night%20a%20Go%20Go%20(2005).mp4_002161641.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Without a doubt, <b>Bloody Night A Go Go (2005)</b> is a difficult film to recommend, particularly if one is not in tune with quirky horror done in low-budget unrealism, but if you're are looking for something a tad out of the ordinary for your slasher needs then this one is a fair enough pick to try out. Yes, it can be a bit much, but if you can see the uniquely funny and cheesy side of this short Japanese feature then this little obscurity might be worth at least a viewing.</div><div><br /></div><div>Bodycount:</div><div>1 male and 1 female hacked to death with a meat cleaver</div><div>1 male slashed with a meat cleaver (dream)</div><div>1 female hacked to death with a meat cleaver (dream)</div><div>1 male killed inside a photobooth, corpse photographed (dream)</div><div>1 female hacked with a meat cleaver (dream)</div><div>1 male gets a mannequin hand stabbed into his face</div><div>1 female electrocuted to death with live wires to the groin</div><div>1 male had his head vacuum-sealed, suffocated</div><div>1 female gets fire extinguisher foam sprayed down her throat, killed</div><div>1 male had his face smothered in bean paste and stuck on a locker, torn off by force</div><div>1 female had her throat slashed with a meat cleaver</div><div>1 female hacked on the face with a meat cleaver</div><div>Total: 13</div>Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-44227158511951190062023-11-05T15:29:00.002+08:002023-11-05T15:29:27.599+08:00Kangaroos Loose In The Top Paddock: Safety In Numbers (2006)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQS-xxOe1z-J11db2exsYoIi3Vu_PNFH8uEhJkKbmIm65RtZ3SYh4hJqMZZI26LomCqN3yH6O_EBdzfIa-lS0GiQm5IV7dBOqkeZfp7LS5GRLbHtm6g8x1wZZeMdUmfZ12yYF5j8bx85RLww768YtynWvsATotfaRN4eVtpeo2vy0bj71cUJHR-D3QksM/s640/%D0%97%D0%B0%D0%BA%D0%BE%D0%BD%20%D0%B2%D1%8B%D0%B6%D0%B8%D0%B2%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%B8%D1%8F%20_%20Safety%20in%20Numbers%20(2005)%20public40911932.mp4_000010206.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="640" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQS-xxOe1z-J11db2exsYoIi3Vu_PNFH8uEhJkKbmIm65RtZ3SYh4hJqMZZI26LomCqN3yH6O_EBdzfIa-lS0GiQm5IV7dBOqkeZfp7LS5GRLbHtm6g8x1wZZeMdUmfZ12yYF5j8bx85RLww768YtynWvsATotfaRN4eVtpeo2vy0bj71cUJHR-D3QksM/w400-h225/%D0%97%D0%B0%D0%BA%D0%BE%D0%BD%20%D0%B2%D1%8B%D0%B6%D0%B8%D0%B2%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%B8%D1%8F%20_%20Safety%20in%20Numbers%20(2005)%20public40911932.mp4_000010206.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Safety In Numbers (Australia, 2006)<div>Rating: *1/2</div><div>Starring: Jessica Napier, Ben Tari, Henry Nixon<br /><br />In this rare Aussie export, six former reality TV stars find themselves going to an island for what may have been a reunion show, only to find the place seemingly deserted and trashed. Unknown to these chuckleheads, a jealous ex-contestant who got booted from the show have been waiting for them to get there, biding their time for the perfect opportunity to murder the bunch, or at least have enough deadly traps set around the island for these wankers to walk into. </div><div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYsILS7TWRtrS-NpDX0vG1Iyr3k2KTEsiwFw6aJ0NOXYkQWWEx-ZqUyzmmOXWFZIdW1NigmbYZfaeCNadWzRev49efDLto9nhrcLSn38X8HHu9GNTFKjnXV27HAtQil-YR3FgBADGmQXuVgZHXBFBF8-YeoeoUeZt9XArCYQFCr2j8BUK87wTBCaiJ5uM/s1278/%D0%97%D0%B0%D0%BA%D0%BE%D0%BD%20%D0%B2%D1%8B%D0%B6%D0%B8%D0%B2%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%B8%D1%8F%20_%20Safety%20in%20Numbers%20(2005)%20public40911932.mp4_000628486.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="283" data-original-width="1278" height="89" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYsILS7TWRtrS-NpDX0vG1Iyr3k2KTEsiwFw6aJ0NOXYkQWWEx-ZqUyzmmOXWFZIdW1NigmbYZfaeCNadWzRev49efDLto9nhrcLSn38X8HHu9GNTFKjnXV27HAtQil-YR3FgBADGmQXuVgZHXBFBF8-YeoeoUeZt9XArCYQFCr2j8BUK87wTBCaiJ5uM/w400-h89/%D0%97%D0%B0%D0%BA%D0%BE%D0%BD%20%D0%B2%D1%8B%D0%B6%D0%B8%D0%B2%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%B8%D1%8F%20_%20Safety%20in%20Numbers%20(2005)%20public40911932.mp4_000628486.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Now, see, <b>Safety In Numbers (2006)</b> could have been a good enough slasher film with that premise alone. Not a great slasher per se, but at least entertaining enough to earn an occasional watch should one be looking for a casual island-set survival bodycounter to pass the time with. Sadly, the film simply fails to execute any form of genuine interest from this simple plot, not with its characters being as bland as stale bread and twice as dumb despite the actors themselves being competent in their roles, or its kills, though bloody, mostly done either offscreen or edited in a way that we only see the weapon or trap approaching before it smash-cuts to a scream. Camera work is as dull as the near-barren island setting, too, and there's not much drama, atmosphere or tension to speak of here since, again, the victims are too dim and cliched to feel invested in. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh_z4ooMGeaVmEQOBru2aKbZ2Z2DoiMXoup4GyA4ET98B-chZag-z07hkGk82F6igtPWprep2DGfSHKjWtMp064kp467G7mzs6YLAAKVFolMYZduyraSrxVm1DsHY6t1UNmdl83_vaA8oT6gt4tCTZw44X7p4Dsk4cFe8lBvO-AsVZiw3CTBKzx1Wy8eA/s640/%D0%97%D0%B0%D0%BA%D0%BE%D0%BD%20%D0%B2%D1%8B%D0%B6%D0%B8%D0%B2%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%B8%D1%8F%20_%20Safety%20in%20Numbers%20(2005)%20public40911932.mp4_002560766.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="279" data-original-width="640" height="140" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh_z4ooMGeaVmEQOBru2aKbZ2Z2DoiMXoup4GyA4ET98B-chZag-z07hkGk82F6igtPWprep2DGfSHKjWtMp064kp467G7mzs6YLAAKVFolMYZduyraSrxVm1DsHY6t1UNmdl83_vaA8oT6gt4tCTZw44X7p4Dsk4cFe8lBvO-AsVZiw3CTBKzx1Wy8eA/s320/%D0%97%D0%B0%D0%BA%D0%BE%D0%BD%20%D0%B2%D1%8B%D0%B6%D0%B8%D0%B2%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%B8%D1%8F%20_%20Safety%20in%20Numbers%20(2005)%20public40911932.mp4_002560766.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />The killer doesn't show up in the flesh until the third act were it suddenly goes full cat-and-mouse mode and, once more, it could have been a great deal of fun with the perp chasing down the obligatory final girl while more or less surviving at most four attempts on their lives, but this is soon tarnished by a clumsy twist reveal and finale where it <i>hints</i> the possibility of another loonie offing people, but never bothering to do anything of actual substance with it so we're not even sure if this is what they're suggesting! </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1LAY2XrV06rrtWvWuxbvrXw4G8zIUDenDFMsoxVJZJS7A2hwyD1tILKtM9Us0xEPbJf7kB7BssYTnxfGclxlZ8Iu76IqdHBahGcjMo8Q1j_GOF3gETIwQzipY8JoQ-HipaT2VCJH80LSbcreJkzUs9nk6N52Gf4dYDeMDqrMmwsLxyVA0kdF6y_hDukE/s1277/%D0%97%D0%B0%D0%BA%D0%BE%D0%BD%20%D0%B2%D1%8B%D0%B6%D0%B8%D0%B2%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%B8%D1%8F%20_%20Safety%20in%20Numbers%20(2005)%20public40911932.mp4_003461686.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="284" data-original-width="1277" height="89" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1LAY2XrV06rrtWvWuxbvrXw4G8zIUDenDFMsoxVJZJS7A2hwyD1tILKtM9Us0xEPbJf7kB7BssYTnxfGclxlZ8Iu76IqdHBahGcjMo8Q1j_GOF3gETIwQzipY8JoQ-HipaT2VCJH80LSbcreJkzUs9nk6N52Gf4dYDeMDqrMmwsLxyVA0kdF6y_hDukE/w400-h89/%D0%97%D0%B0%D0%BA%D0%BE%D0%BD%20%D0%B2%D1%8B%D0%B6%D0%B8%D0%B2%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%B8%D1%8F%20_%20Safety%20in%20Numbers%20(2005)%20public40911932.mp4_003461686.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Bestrewed with a poor script, lackluster characters, tame kills and an infuriating ending, <b>Safety In Numbers (2006)</b> is a rarity that deserves its obscurity. An ocker mess of an uninteresting slasher, we'd be better off watching or even doing almost anything else...</div><div><br /></div><div>Bodycount:<div>1 male bludgeoned on the head</div><div>1 male trips a spiked spring trap, impaled</div><div>1 female killed offscreen, later seen impaled in the mouth with a spear</div><div>1 female hit by a hurled log trap, killed</div><div>1 male found murdered in a pit</div><div>1 male found murdered in a pit</div><div>1 female shot with a harpoon</div><div>1 male missing, presumably killed</div><div>1 female killed offscreen, dismembered arm seen</div></div><div>Total: 9</div>Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-32245646768253724632023-11-05T02:41:00.003+08:002023-11-05T02:41:27.707+08:00Rave a Cave to The Grave: Bone Cave (2011) <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx_lmvuepealjJZ3uufoUewFd1X4CshH0fQM6Yjv35IxGMWSxm7v_XFHDiQfPe6uiXE-LTLrDBAP5jEZbgdZUgA9GgjhmrMqyjcZYcNeCpT_3Xn6O3vvKmED9l801mPlw22p4XJYBGjM-QyZFZiNEHSnGPJP5Lv4ZPyrMULgaB-qaU2QJXrN5ZqCRu2Q8/s640/Bone%20Cave%20(2011).mp4_000179425.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="640" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx_lmvuepealjJZ3uufoUewFd1X4CshH0fQM6Yjv35IxGMWSxm7v_XFHDiQfPe6uiXE-LTLrDBAP5jEZbgdZUgA9GgjhmrMqyjcZYcNeCpT_3Xn6O3vvKmED9l801mPlw22p4XJYBGjM-QyZFZiNEHSnGPJP5Lv4ZPyrMULgaB-qaU2QJXrN5ZqCRu2Q8/w400-h225/Bone%20Cave%20(2011).mp4_000179425.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Bone Cave (2011)<div>Rating: *1/2</div><div>Starring: Justin Rose, Jeremy Jusek, Andrew Hartl</div><div><br /></div><div>...Yeah, I'm not even gonna beat around the bush, this is just terrible.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtv54JHaQyyqqVp3udr2ygafOfvHNu3kudUskD7llvft1zLyklaxOjnQGWghkYg-ZfQAjNxM0h-l9RBJBLprgjc9WYUgtHtc1cX3Yk8F0dHDv5yqSlg7zHVYWHyAJV_MQtdYLtcx9D0PdFLL9ONQHvzFiqLcVPqbQ65LYWdwqsE5eDj09UrQ4Br2c_0ko/s640/Bone%20Cave%20(2011).mp4_000136215.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="640" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtv54JHaQyyqqVp3udr2ygafOfvHNu3kudUskD7llvft1zLyklaxOjnQGWghkYg-ZfQAjNxM0h-l9RBJBLprgjc9WYUgtHtc1cX3Yk8F0dHDv5yqSlg7zHVYWHyAJV_MQtdYLtcx9D0PdFLL9ONQHvzFiqLcVPqbQ65LYWdwqsE5eDj09UrQ4Br2c_0ko/w200-h113/Bone%20Cave%20(2011).mp4_000136215.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Two college slackers named Mike and... <i>T Rad</i>... want to earn some good cash so they throw the mother of all raves inside a secluded cave for novelty's sake. Lights were set. Tunes were played. Stolen drugs were passed around as party favors. Things were going great - until it isn't. The cave just happens to be the lair of some face-painted creep who goes by Bones Magee and, for the lack of a better term, he has aspirations to be the next wise-cracking slasher villain. Like, he utters terrible one-liners before and/or after hacking someone to death with his assortment of bone-related weapons. So, yeah, Bones Magee soon crashes the party, forcing Mike, T Rad, some hot goth-punk chick named Annora and the few remaining partygoers to try and survive the <i>Bone Cave</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHwwP08GyFJzMTUnPaMHqDqzl44iUo78fAY90B73sijDAHMmI18X_K3EwpyPO5hoAwp87t0EB-SSq9StLAkYP6qn-KvDhqB7j7W880cK-hKQjeecsnmciPpderCBJl7fyTUeYQWz89A1_Ju4odDkgssWe8xgzSgwGdjNII1nMrj_3ef6kgUMJVAesYV24/s640/Bone%20Cave%20(2011).mp4_003041384.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="640" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHwwP08GyFJzMTUnPaMHqDqzl44iUo78fAY90B73sijDAHMmI18X_K3EwpyPO5hoAwp87t0EB-SSq9StLAkYP6qn-KvDhqB7j7W880cK-hKQjeecsnmciPpderCBJl7fyTUeYQWz89A1_Ju4odDkgssWe8xgzSgwGdjNII1nMrj_3ef6kgUMJVAesYV24/w200-h113/Bone%20Cave%20(2011).mp4_003041384.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Honestly, I wanted to like <b>Bone Cave (2011)</b>. It has cheese factor, a stupidly entertaining villain and some of the kills were gruesome enough, but its pacing is atrocious, taking a very long while with us just watching two boring bozos trying to plan a rave before anything interesting happens, all in the meantime enduring acting chops that range from stiff to dull just to pour salt on the wound. The murder spree wouldn't takes place after almost an hour of lackluster plot building, and its insultingly done and over with no soon after, leaving the last fifteen minutes or so focused solely on Bones Magee hammily monologuing this movie's excuse of a twist, while our survivors equally cheese it out with responding banter. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimXfeP3-MZjbIPgpEWV90b4ER2L15GIxf3aSj5G3WVrVkbeczkIew_Yf19zWxtZFAkRbg0r5MUVMa1u531DofhjvezyOq5w5qeZBYPNrtZyiFmHljjadRyY_DJXCJ8kbsCJ1wehNpP2b67kQJ7dstMzGdwh1TlMdHqJx6AdC5lTqN9qe3oAGTiovIe01s/s640/Bone%20Cave%20(2011).mp4_003289999.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="640" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimXfeP3-MZjbIPgpEWV90b4ER2L15GIxf3aSj5G3WVrVkbeczkIew_Yf19zWxtZFAkRbg0r5MUVMa1u531DofhjvezyOq5w5qeZBYPNrtZyiFmHljjadRyY_DJXCJ8kbsCJ1wehNpP2b67kQJ7dstMzGdwh1TlMdHqJx6AdC5lTqN9qe3oAGTiovIe01s/w200-h113/Bone%20Cave%20(2011).mp4_003289999.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Throw in a couple of dated computer graphic effects here and there, plus an entire massacre that happened offscreen, implied only through blood splashes on prop rocks, looped audio of actors screaming and annoying heavy rock playing in the background, and you have one of the cheapest slashers to come out of celluloid. Seriously, <b>Bone Cave (2011)</b> earned its spot on the crusty bottom barrel of horrid horror lameness for not only how crappy the overall quality of it is, but also for how braindead boring it is. </div><div><br /></div><div>Avoid it. </div><div><br /></div><div>Bodycount:</div><div>1 male skewered with a pike</div><div>1 female impaled through the forehead with a pike</div><div>1 female had her face melted with acid</div><div>1 male bashed on the head with a skull-decorated pickaxe</div><div>1 male hacked on the side with a bone hatchet</div><div>1 female had her throat crushed</div><div>1 female hacked on the head with a bone hatchet</div><div>2 females slashed with a bone hatchet</div><div>A number of victims massacred with a skull-decorated pickaxe</div><div>1 victim seen crushed in a grenade-triggered cave-in</div><div>1 male had his head crushed with a stereo set, electrocuted</div><div>1 female hacked on the back with a bone hatchet</div><div>1 male hacked on the head with a skull-decorated pickaxe</div><div>1 male falls to his death</div><div>1 male dies from a bone hatchet hacked unto his back</div><div>Total: 15+</div>Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-272978159083783182023-11-04T05:37:00.000+08:002023-11-04T05:37:45.543+08:00Death by Scuba: Amsterdamned (1988)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVRE_Az9wBzENU-iYpQELd63HdmUr_k7lNYxs__hPD8XVaBr7e50lmgw6uNK48tn4XGe8LbwdMBI2hi6yONwXd7EdcDiZyoFuMPAmQCsBIYppOt08PnVPv1cp83Ya0CowbQKBGIiNVRVCrQ2Gx1loHgMN05Y-GQkYxM79IiYxM7_UAYZynKWlH033G1pA/s1536/Amsterdamned%20(1988).mp4_000045920.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="829" data-original-width="1536" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVRE_Az9wBzENU-iYpQELd63HdmUr_k7lNYxs__hPD8XVaBr7e50lmgw6uNK48tn4XGe8LbwdMBI2hi6yONwXd7EdcDiZyoFuMPAmQCsBIYppOt08PnVPv1cp83Ya0CowbQKBGIiNVRVCrQ2Gx1loHgMN05Y-GQkYxM79IiYxM7_UAYZynKWlH033G1pA/w400-h216/Amsterdamned%20(1988).mp4_000045920.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Amsterdamned (Netherlands, 1988)<div>Rating: ***</div><div>Starring: Huub Stapel, Monique van de Ven, Serge-Henri Valcke</div><div><br /></div><div>One part-slasher, one part-cop thriller, <b>Amsterdamned (1988)</b> follows a series of murders happening around the murky canals of Amsterdam, perpetrated by someone in full diving gear. The victims are chosen by random, often pulled into the water to be savagely slaughtered before having their corpses displayed out in the open for every unfortunate soul to see. Tasked to solve this case is one police detective Eric Visser (Huub Stapel), your typical hardboiled single father-type who plays by his own rules, only to find himself constantly one step behind our killer and following leads that may or may not hit dead ends, resulting to more victims falling prey to our murderous scuba diver and putting the city in a state of panic.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDzDYX1S7ZKXd1Z9M94wnS5d9VmXCGzICAkBxIvTAP0D_2cC6f32C5t2LtayRTLjZ5e_MqPEWR6n9c-uHcwgzG3yMKnXS-U4OBEUCboX2a2ieGNYvA1pOuWklzSOxDh19VPplyeNMTYFfYysrjegyoK9yENg2STyTVScML14kNZvgwI6Uyqvp4IlcKenk/s4584/Amsterdamned%20(1988).mp4_000550216.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="864" data-original-width="4584" height="60" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDzDYX1S7ZKXd1Z9M94wnS5d9VmXCGzICAkBxIvTAP0D_2cC6f32C5t2LtayRTLjZ5e_MqPEWR6n9c-uHcwgzG3yMKnXS-U4OBEUCboX2a2ieGNYvA1pOuWklzSOxDh19VPplyeNMTYFfYysrjegyoK9yENg2STyTVScML14kNZvgwI6Uyqvp4IlcKenk/s320/Amsterdamned%20(1988).mp4_000550216.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Made by Dutch director Dick Maas, this serial killer horror thriller follows all the norms one would find from your usual police procedural flicks revolving around detectives diving deep into their investigations, piecing together potential motivation or maybe even a pattern from each crime scene in hopes of solving the murders before more people fall victim to it. What set <b>Amsterdamned (1988)</b> apart from its kin is the unique premise of the killer prowling the canals before emerging to abduct and murder their victims underwater, which means a lot of <b>Jaws (1975)-</b>style bodycounting that pretty much sets this film for outrageously amusing underwater slasher shlock!</div><div><br /></div><div>Some fine examples of this include the very opening scene of the film wherein we spend a good build-up watching through the frogman killer's point-of-view as they swim the canals at night, before popping up to murder a prostitute with a stolen butcher knife and dragging the body away. The gnarly part doesn't happen until after the credits, however, when a daytime tour boat goes through the arch of a bridge only to have itself dragging against the prostitute’s dangling butchered body, smearing blood over the glass windows before falling in through an open roof, much to the absolute horror of the passengers. Another equally odd yet entertaining scene happens further into the movie where we see a random girl in an inflatable floatie chilling in the canal, getting a <b>Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)-</b>inspired demise as the killer sticks their knife through the inflatable before carefully positioning it to angle where they can just run it right between the girl’s thighs!</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6fC_D8Nud8nytpx1e-rNbdK2CgX3mokvfjVcynVnWUVz7yxpEGEW8YZxmsuECVXe1CgzffyzAG7o-uprslCB3gxyTk8gIV70NA8j1tokZC_ZzbNCW9yGFPnaGZKPMCiXZZJaF6f_hwLQkFepGyA9AxD6JQ6o4a9N7fsLUcJxfPvr2fRJHcPLv5v-tc28/s4596/Amsterdamned%20(1988).mp4_003049420.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="864" data-original-width="4596" height="60" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6fC_D8Nud8nytpx1e-rNbdK2CgX3mokvfjVcynVnWUVz7yxpEGEW8YZxmsuECVXe1CgzffyzAG7o-uprslCB3gxyTk8gIV70NA8j1tokZC_ZzbNCW9yGFPnaGZKPMCiXZZJaF6f_hwLQkFepGyA9AxD6JQ6o4a9N7fsLUcJxfPvr2fRJHcPLv5v-tc28/s320/Amsterdamned%20(1988).mp4_003049420.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>When not entertaining us with slasher murders, Maas also set up some thrilling action sequences from car chases pursuing motorcycle-riding suspects through Amsterdam's narrow streets, to this film's most highlighted sequence concerning a high-speed boat chase through the city's network of canals and bridges, filled with an unabashed amount of stunt work jumping over the top of bridges, skidding through cafes, crashing through other boats and Huub Stapel being dragged behind his running boat in the midst of the pursuit. Without a doubt, the city of Amsterdam is used to its full effect during these thrill rides, shot as beautifully as the inventive escapades themselves. </div><div><br /></div><div>The only drawback here is that, in order to get to these fun set-pieces, we do have to sit through some very standard slow moments like our lead detective's romantic endeavors with a widowed diving enthusiast named Laura (Monique van de Ven), whose suspiciously unamused therapist friend (Hidde Maas) doesn't appear to appreciate the fact that the ruffled investigator is getting a tad close with the lady, or the little side-plot of Visser's cheekily snarky daughter and her friend attempting to track the killer paranormally through an ouija board. It's a lot of establishing banter and quirky moments, which isn't exactly a bad thing for cheese and giggle's sake, but they have the tendency to slow things down and stretching the film's run needlessly for almost two hours.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXAEBrmAGnm-TIz4AxGpi4De_xrvnCfMUntqkjGQ1hsgG-fGOlOko4S5WKNYi7MDJmrfsciD96zO9PsGdMZcVKxshT3scmwQThX14pDHq-w8dQSyqtLNtO4zG-OsRxGwska5rIuV7zBXgVxcyhvRyOqsNPHVWSHzyPsCLAHFA9MIVcBk-Fwfj_v5kA6Zk/s4596/Amsterdamned%20(1988).mp4_004367153.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="864" data-original-width="4596" height="60" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXAEBrmAGnm-TIz4AxGpi4De_xrvnCfMUntqkjGQ1hsgG-fGOlOko4S5WKNYi7MDJmrfsciD96zO9PsGdMZcVKxshT3scmwQThX14pDHq-w8dQSyqtLNtO4zG-OsRxGwska5rIuV7zBXgVxcyhvRyOqsNPHVWSHzyPsCLAHFA9MIVcBk-Fwfj_v5kA6Zk/s320/Amsterdamned%20(1988).mp4_004367153.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Still, some of these little moments do tie in to the mystery nicely enough, leading to this movie's final act and perhaps its most suspenseful set-up wherein Laura believes she has entered the killer's house and does her darnest to hide away from the suspect while finding the opportunity to get the jump on them. It has some tension, a good reveal to the killer's motive that's more or less in par with what you would get from a B-grade slasher, though I do wish the finale have a bit more pep to it as it concludes rather anti-climactically. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>Amsterdamned (1988)</b> definitely fits the bill as an entertainingly bad flick, one with a premise that sounds absolutely silly but executed with enough gusto, cheesy charm and cynical tongue-in-cheek to keep its fun factor rolling strong! </div><div> <br /> Bodycount:</div><div>1 female stabbed to death with a butcher knife</div><div>1 male found decapitated</div><div>1 male dragged into the water, later found mutilated</div><div>1 female pulled into the water, later found murdered</div><div>1 female gets a hunting knife ran through her groin</div><div>1 male drowned inside a sinking houseboat</div><div>1 male stabbed to death with a hunting knife</div><div>1 male shot in the mouth with a harpoon</div><div>Total: 8</div>Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-28091535092382003702023-11-02T16:41:00.003+08:002023-11-03T09:55:48.844+08:00There Lives a Phantom Freak: Phantom Fun-World (2023)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF6SEl9T4f1IYphFYBQwPfjDdEvoOqPxyWLW8qgChl4b1qgDiV2x56g1L6_4YRMK0VP4znFDQsVw3ouB389LdjVUIngx3sdxGhcpObcKNwXKTpMYXkMjO6j0rrQ15Qymfzlw7fmCKpohF8jNuo7rwx2qQLCZ9kllBRXj4kLI5U6XLi86CTUvewow1V3WU/s1280/Phantom%20Fun-World-100010821.mp4_000290581.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="622" data-original-width="1280" height="195" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF6SEl9T4f1IYphFYBQwPfjDdEvoOqPxyWLW8qgChl4b1qgDiV2x56g1L6_4YRMK0VP4znFDQsVw3ouB389LdjVUIngx3sdxGhcpObcKNwXKTpMYXkMjO6j0rrQ15Qymfzlw7fmCKpohF8jNuo7rwx2qQLCZ9kllBRXj4kLI5U6XLi86CTUvewow1V3WU/w400-h195/Phantom%20Fun-World-100010821.mp4_000290581.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Phantom Fun-World (2023)<div>Rating: **</div><div>Starring: L.C. Holt, Celeste Blandon, Jace Carson</div><div><br /></div><div>In 1997, the Phantom Fun-World indoor theme park found itself in damning controversy when four staff and two responding police were brutally murdered, apparently by the owner's disturbed young son. The scandal was enough to shut the place down and left alone for a very long while until, that is, recently, under new ownership and a fresh start away from its dark past. With its grand reopening drawing near, troubled teen Andi gets herself a job at the park in order to provide for her 16-year-old brother Cole while their estranged mother sorts her own life out. Unbeknownst to her and the rest of the new hires, someone obsessed over the park's grim history and its Phantom mascot is paying their respect, depopulating Fun-World of its staff night by night with the seeming intention of keeping it closed forever...</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggUzcSE_2_EOzaLeTFo-8Pp9WdXWSOjPl2CzmLlGKWrkMlT5Gwp85JV-e0_qQPzb27FtU3_PBNk1MhUfR_hVzmdxMksq3yZ41MfMqaFN-5WWkdDhgW9wEqyRfLEdphTUM3KGIYg3vFCw7INdIOTcsb3UsBRKm9H1WELHoEeYY4uVMy4t1Ew37l0PNnQjw/s2554/Phantom%20Fun-World-100010821.mp4_000293376.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1388" data-original-width="2554" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggUzcSE_2_EOzaLeTFo-8Pp9WdXWSOjPl2CzmLlGKWrkMlT5Gwp85JV-e0_qQPzb27FtU3_PBNk1MhUfR_hVzmdxMksq3yZ41MfMqaFN-5WWkdDhgW9wEqyRfLEdphTUM3KGIYg3vFCw7INdIOTcsb3UsBRKm9H1WELHoEeYY4uVMy4t1Ew37l0PNnQjw/w400-h217/Phantom%20Fun-World-100010821.mp4_000293376.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Concept-wise, <b>Phantom Fun-World (2023)</b> has the very potential to be a fair enough throwback to Golden Age slashers with a plot that kinda resembles <b>Friday The 13th (1980)</b>'s only in a carnival-esque setting, peppered with decent practical gore effects and a few good stalk-and-stab antics towards the end as our survivors fight off a decent-looking killer with a unique mask. The problem rises from its obvious microbudget; the <i>Fun-World</i> itself is more of a glorified single-floor arcade that just happens to have bumper cars and a Merry-Go-Round than the exciting theme park it's advertised to be, thus failing to properly utilize a fun backdrop. Writing attempts a flair of the melodramatic for potential character development but it's so stinted yet forced that it's less engaging and more tedious to sit through, something the movie's range of hokey to amateur acting, nor its dubious audio quality hardly helps. In fact, there's an entire sequence here involving Andi's snarky bestfriend being attacked by The Phantom and the whole thing is shot like something out of Rob Zombie's own brand of horror, complete with slow-mo's and muted flashbacks of the victim being happy, just to show how devastating this is supposed to be. Would have been effective given that we get to know the character maybe a tad more than just 'that snarky friend", so the result is more eye-rolling than tear-jerking. </div><div><br /></div><div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbqpjQHOe9XS2edkVx0kyiH71s_1fdnSxgpW4NypHxA4qZKkKMh-Hu3i6x4dk-KdqR5gFGfNVpXNXADkKVOeyQFZTzarbsd1O0ix49Kxvj2dqqNnKAWny3UtQdmVpDPLhFuy2yY_Cdp_n6RgCpTFPTyC8Kqe0L7_4QatNE6p0ZjRasktD0A2HKw51uoXk/s2556/Halloween.UNRATED.2007.1080p.BRrip.x264.YIFY.mp4_001394976.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1386" data-original-width="2556" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbqpjQHOe9XS2edkVx0kyiH71s_1fdnSxgpW4NypHxA4qZKkKMh-Hu3i6x4dk-KdqR5gFGfNVpXNXADkKVOeyQFZTzarbsd1O0ix49Kxvj2dqqNnKAWny3UtQdmVpDPLhFuy2yY_Cdp_n6RgCpTFPTyC8Kqe0L7_4QatNE6p0ZjRasktD0A2HKw51uoXk/w400-h217/Halloween.UNRATED.2007.1080p.BRrip.x264.YIFY.mp4_001394976.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Actually, come to think of it, <br />the resemblance is rather uncanny...</td></tr></tbody></table><br />Still, giving credit when credit is due, <b>Phantom Fun-World (2023)</b> at least made itself worthwhile whenever it focuses on the killings, may it be for the gnarly gore effects, the classy stab on your usual cat-and-mouse chase, or the unintentional hilarity of The Phantom's absurd durability. <b>Friday The 13th (1980)</b>'s Jason Ari Lehman is here in a fun cameo as the original owner of <i>Phantom Fun-World</i>, while The Phantom himself is played by L.C. Holt, who donned the Lamb Mask in the awesome home invasion slasher <b>You're Next (2011),</b> and he's certainly giving his all in his role here as another mute murderer.</div><div><br /></div><div>Mediocre it may be, if you're not looking much for your horror viewing then <b>Phantom Fun-World (2023)</b> is serviceable enough for a low-budget slashing good time filled with blood, cheese and a good shot of a killer. Other than that, you can definitely do better... </div><div><br /></div><div>Bodycount:</div><div>1 male hacked with an axe, eyes thumbed</div><div>1 male knifed in the head</div><div>1 male knifed to death</div><div>1 male had his jaw torn off</div><div>4 males murdered with a knife (flashback)</div><div>1 male had his throat cut with a knife (flashback)</div><div>1 male knifed to death (flashback)</div><div>1 male knifed in the neck</div><div>1 female beaten to death against a wall</div><div>1 male knifed to death (flashback)</div><div>1 female dies from multiple knife stabbings</div><div>1 male beaten to death with a police baton</div><div>1 male knifed to death</div><div>Total: 16 <br /><br /></div><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNtKG7PO2ySR_8OzY7rDoPrx9j95M3VShi6lW9iZ0AoYTkw630OjqGAAmAOErEqU4mxmEIgD5qpYF0NDl9Vgx2ScTK5EtFep1NC1fVjy0oM3JqAXgoo6Fh6ePaBup8p-49np8cC4H8dza_JT1HZyI6KreyPdudVsk232KqwHVrUYGvIIEF8Dj5UtY-IgI/s1280/Phantom%20Fun-World-100010821.mp4_002040788.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNtKG7PO2ySR_8OzY7rDoPrx9j95M3VShi6lW9iZ0AoYTkw630OjqGAAmAOErEqU4mxmEIgD5qpYF0NDl9Vgx2ScTK5EtFep1NC1fVjy0oM3JqAXgoo6Fh6ePaBup8p-49np8cC4H8dza_JT1HZyI6KreyPdudVsk232KqwHVrUYGvIIEF8Dj5UtY-IgI/w400-h225/Phantom%20Fun-World-100010821.mp4_002040788.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"ME NO DUM-DUM, YOU DUM-DUM!<br />You bring me gum-gum?"</td></tr></tbody></table><br />Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3238609231210526256.post-84333593077022524502023-11-02T12:09:00.004+08:002023-11-03T09:58:50.081+08:00In The Deep Guilty Woods: Dark Windows (2023)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh86SBxKElTCzbyT_sIFJMFgaxATmNfvJjC5XE8OBLJbIBHWkRLWrSPZkoPlgPvGQl07WI49SC_XpHbljaz39ldcBFpuQHXY2g4Y97PS31uERVZkCWD9Yrzo5MssK5bOQ7vQvTN4x2cSzr0OuFD9cf34n9642Y9_XJbA3u7-VK8tRid4bHqDQCC0L_WkH8/s2400/Screenshot_20231101_120255_VLC.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="2400" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh86SBxKElTCzbyT_sIFJMFgaxATmNfvJjC5XE8OBLJbIBHWkRLWrSPZkoPlgPvGQl07WI49SC_XpHbljaz39ldcBFpuQHXY2g4Y97PS31uERVZkCWD9Yrzo5MssK5bOQ7vQvTN4x2cSzr0OuFD9cf34n9642Y9_XJbA3u7-VK8tRid4bHqDQCC0L_WkH8/w400-h180/Screenshot_20231101_120255_VLC.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Dark Windows (US/Norway, 2023)<div>Rating: ***1/2</div><div>Starring: Rory Alexander, Vanessa Borgli, Anna Bullard</div><div><br /></div><div>After uneasily attending the wake of their friend Ali, who passed away from a fatal car crash they're all involved in, friends Tilly, Peter and Monica decides to retreat to a country house owned by one of their grandparents to recuperate and grief in their own way as they let matters back home settle down. The stay was rocky at first with Tilly still blaming herself for the crash as she's supposedly the one driving that night, Peter downing himself with booze to numb his guilt much to the worry of his two friends, and Monica is more or less rushing to move on by acting as normal as possible, but honoring the memory of Ali and for the sake of their own friendship, the trio forgives one another and do their best to unwind from all the trouble and celebrate their late-friend's life by simply enjoying one another's company.</div><div><br /></div><div>This is basically the story of <b>Dark Windows (2023)</b> for the first half; a whole lot of character building and melodramatics, practically slow-burning its way to the cat-and-mouse theatrics and, frankly, I dig it. The acting is spot-on and the writing has soul to it, making the characters likeable yet flawed as we do get to know how much of the car crash was indeed their fault and how the guilt of this fact is eating them inside despite the varying kind of brave faces they're putting on. This conflict makes the cast human, sanctioning cathartic outcomes as the film slowly builds its tension by the time our three friends would soon learn to their horror that somebody else have made their way to the farmhouse.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh20otB1XZPS8fvT7rglqTAxdCV_UkXVDEoe1qTOV1NDgw2MKI4p6FQDnqMV_7ceSTla54Dw7r9CnYQRcT-_ORvd1RXQRmCe0iNNnFeZ9eC3LgG9vL-HZPYD-URSmj-XiO7hGuSOXaosYIRH0j-WZKqf9XLlnuokj3OyMN0psSLXjpGOpvFz_Joq1TILgQ/s2628/%D0%A2%D1%91%D0%BC%D0%BD%D1%8B%D0%B5%20%D0%9E%D0%BA%D0%BD%D0%B0%20_%20Dark%20Windows%20(2023).mp4_001447903.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="544" data-original-width="2628" height="83" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh20otB1XZPS8fvT7rglqTAxdCV_UkXVDEoe1qTOV1NDgw2MKI4p6FQDnqMV_7ceSTla54Dw7r9CnYQRcT-_ORvd1RXQRmCe0iNNnFeZ9eC3LgG9vL-HZPYD-URSmj-XiO7hGuSOXaosYIRH0j-WZKqf9XLlnuokj3OyMN0psSLXjpGOpvFz_Joq1TILgQ/w400-h83/%D0%A2%D1%91%D0%BC%D0%BD%D1%8B%D0%B5%20%D0%9E%D0%BA%D0%BD%D0%B0%20_%20Dark%20Windows%20(2023).mp4_001447903.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />It starts with recordings of Ali's voice uttering familiar phrases from the night of the accident getting played at random times. And then the sound of shuffling around the house. Next a shrine dedicated to their late-friend is suddenly changed to reflect an ominous promise of their own deaths, not to mention the horrifying fact that none of them even made the shrine to begin with! Once an arm shot out of a window to grab a handful of one of the girls' hair, the three have no choice but to try and survive the night as the intruder prowls and brutes their way into getting them, undoubtedly in revenge to what happened to Ali. </div><div><br /></div><div>These resulting attacks are very much ripe with well-crafted tension and suspense as the three try to plan out their escape not knowing whether the masked villain is still inside the house or out there waiting for them to make a run for it. Interestingly, not a lot of kills were committed during the backwoods home invasion (save for one accidental fatal braining), rather a lot of brutalizing and capturing were done instead and the murders were only set in the end through a more torturous affair as the killer go through the victims one by one while they're bound in chairs. The casualties are rather low in number due to the fact that the focus group is also relatively small, but it has heft since we did get to know these victims-to-be, plus the overall gloom atmosphere hanging throughout the film simply adds to the effectively depressing beat of the scene. Honestly, it's not an easy sight to sit through, no matter how unique some of the kills can get. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBts-J2Y2LbA6JXkN9NBpz0Qydf7D1gYl2zruDTrJQjsunW-S4UF853YaWKi8-pSJgBr8j-vWdAg2z28zGAi5ayuQhyp8cG5I8jAIa5ZfUkYITwqUxn-82PLlP981BBrN-8agdoGKzXGeSl6z6AKYUJjLy8ohrd_7Xq5xsK6Z2aosiBaTvAGegKVjoqrA/s2582/%D0%A2%D1%91%D0%BC%D0%BD%D1%8B%D0%B5%20%D0%9E%D0%BA%D0%BD%D0%B0%20_%20Dark%20Windows%20(2023).mp4_004228858.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="544" data-original-width="2582" height="84" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBts-J2Y2LbA6JXkN9NBpz0Qydf7D1gYl2zruDTrJQjsunW-S4UF853YaWKi8-pSJgBr8j-vWdAg2z28zGAi5ayuQhyp8cG5I8jAIa5ZfUkYITwqUxn-82PLlP981BBrN-8agdoGKzXGeSl6z6AKYUJjLy8ohrd_7Xq5xsK6Z2aosiBaTvAGegKVjoqrA/w400-h84/%D0%A2%D1%91%D0%BC%D0%BD%D1%8B%D0%B5%20%D0%9E%D0%BA%D0%BD%D0%B0%20_%20Dark%20Windows%20(2023).mp4_004228858.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />By the end of it, <b>Dark Windows (2023)</b> is a slasher flick that mostly earns its slow-burn approach; the characters have depth, the scares and thrills have a good punch to them, and the all-in-all direction has quality to it. The only thing I'm sure will divide its audience is its ending which may either leave them feeling too pessimistic from the whole ordeal, or feeling lacking as it kinda ended abruptly just when the tension was getting real high. Personally, despite it missing the benefits of a good stalk 'n stab approach and maybe even a higher bodycount, this movie is pretty alright for a bleak horror outing, just expect nobody is getting out of this flick 'okay'... </div><div><br /></div><div>Bodycount:</div><div>1 female implied killed in a car crash</div><div>1 male bludgeoned on the face with a baseball bat</div><div>1 male had his head bagged and filled with vodka, drowned</div><div>1 female had her arms shattered with a hammer, neck broken</div><div>Total: 4</div>Kaijinuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11481843593274086819noreply@blogger.com0