Thursday, August 30, 2012

Boogie down the hood: Bones (2001)

Bones (2001)
rating: ***1/2
starring:  Snoop Dogg, Pam Grier and Michael T. Weiss

Rapper as a horror villain. Rare thing, but not impossible. I've first encountered Snoop Dogg's "evil side" as a horror host in his Hood of Horror and now, I stroll back down to memory lane to revisit a movie that I once watched as a kid below ten years old. So, what happens when New Lines tries to mash-up its own A Nightmare on Elm Street with the one and only Dogg? Bones happens. That's what.

Opening with what appears to be a vagrant being chased by an enormous red-eyed black dog, it is soon revealed that we are on for a "supernatural high" when the man's canine pursuer gets shot multiple times, only for it to keep going and mauling.

We then change our attention to two fraternity brothers who just scored some coke from two drug dealers who, in turn, hid the coke in a nearby Gothic building to make sure they don't get searched, much to nuisance of the frat bros. The college kids did find their way to their drugs, but after hearing some police sirens, they haul up inside the building, find themselves stalked by the same black dog and slaughtered by an unseen force.

A little slow but it's getting there, as morning comes and four teens from tha hood inspect the same Gothic building which they're planning to into a rave haven,. The townies, though, are not too happy about this, especially since the place happens to have some history with one Jimmy Bones, a respected and loved neighborhood protector who died some years ago after a series of betrayals. But as usual, these kids thought none of this and eventually awakens the spirit of Bones, rising from the grave (Ala Freddy Krueger in Dream Master) to kill off those who were responsible for this death and those who messed up his crib! Big time!

First, I can tell Bones has a set back when it comes to pacing as an hour focuses more on the Bones' character as a beloved neighborhood figure, how he ended up dead and how his presence haunts those who either nears his final resting place or is in his final resting place. It's no more than a ghost story and a bit of haunted house then and there, but after the rave scene (which took a dive of a tribute to the maggot scene from the classic Suspiria), we finally get to see Bones in full action and, in every minute, me loving it.

Dogg somehow managed to create an air of empathy and slick with his character as he makes his way cutting off his victims' heads and spatting grooved versions of Freddy's wise cracks, somewhat befitting the movie's sudden change of tone from a Gothic horror to something of a cheap yet well-handled campy supernatural slasher. The horror elements of the movie have its shiftiness, and so does some of its special effects since some of the gore were done with some sleek practical effects while the more ghostly scenes resorted to CG which is good, if not awfully funny looking at times. (Keep an eye to the "Dogg" pun. You'll know it when you see it.) I'll admit that the tone shifts can be distracting for some, even regrettable, but Bones was a horror film made to entertain, and so long as it kept us glued to to the screen, I'll say it did a good job.

It may lack the big look, but Bones really tried its best to bring out the goods from the hood, for both horror fans and too some for the old fashioned Blaxploitation fans. Though Bones ain't gonna turn me no big Snoop Dogg fan, I still like it and so will a good number of casual horror fans. Ya dig? Search up for this shit, soul bruddah~!

1 male slaughtered, blood splash seen
1 male slaughtered offscreen
1 male shot, stabbed to death with switchblade (flashback)
1 male mauled to death by dog
1 male throat cut with switchblade
1 male throat cut with switchblade, slaughtered
1 male slaughtered, mostly offscreen
1 female found murdered
1 male impaled by flying shards, decapitated with switchblade
1 male impaled on a hook and gutted with switchblade
1 male ravaged by damned souls
1 male slaughtered by damned souls
1 female burned to death
total: 13


  1. I wanna see this movie for 5 or 6 years, but for whatever reason I constantly forget about checking it out. I'm so lame :)

    1. No yer not. But seriously. it's a decent movie, you should definitely check it out when you get the chance!

  2. Great review K Man! It's not a great movie - but it is solidly watchable - and yum yum Pam Grier! Still smokin' hot!

    I want Maynard to see this one too - see what concensus the three of us come to!

    1. One of us should lend him a copy...or direct him to one!