Thursday, August 30, 2012

Boogie Down The Hood: Bones (2001)

Bones (2001)
Rating: ***1/2
Starring: Snoop Dogg, Pam Grier and Michael T. Weiss

What happens when New Lines Cinema tries to mash-up its own A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) - inspired supernatural slasher with the one and only Snoop Dogg? Bones (2001) happens, that's what.

Opening with what appears to be a vagrant being chased down by an enormous red-eyed black dog, a scene soon revealed to be on a "supernatural high" when the canine pursuer gets shot multiple times only for it to keep going.

Shifting our attention some time later, where two fraternity brothers just paid for some cocaine from a couple of drug dealers who, in turn, hid the coke in a nearby Gothic building to make sure they don't get searched, much to nuisance of the frat bros. The college kids did find their way to their drugs eventually, but after hearing some police sirens, they haul up inside only to find themselves stalked by the same black dog and get slaughtered by an unseen force.

As another morning comes, four teens from tha hood inspect the same Gothic building to plan out their rave haven. The townies, though, are not too happy about this, especially since the place happens to have some history with one Jimmy Bones, a respected and loved neighborhood protector who died some years ago after a series of betrayals. But as usual, these kids thought none of this and soon awakens the spirit of Bones, rising from the grave (Ala Freddy Krueger in Dream Master) to kill off those who were responsible for this death and those who messed up his crib! Big time!

First, I can tell Bones has its setbacks when it comes to pacing as an hour of its running time focuses more on the Bones' character as a beloved neighborhood figure, how he ended up dead and how his presence haunts those who are either near his final resting place or in it. It's no more than a ghost story with a haunted house scares then and there, but after a creepy-crawlin' rave scene (which took a dive of tribute to the maggot scene from the classic Suspiria), we finally get to see Bones in full action and me loving it in every minute.

Dogg managed to create an air of empathy and slick with his character as he makes his way cutting off his victims' heads and spatting grooved versions of Freddy's wise cracks, befitting the movie's sudden change of tone from Gothic horror to something of a cheap yet well-handled campy supernatural slasher. This said, the horror elements of the movie have its shiftiness, and so are some of its special effects since part of the onscreen gore were done with some sleek practical effects, while the more ghostly scenes resort to CG which is good, if not awfully funny looking at times. (Keep an eye to the "Dogg" pun. You'll know it when you see it) I'll admit that the tone shifts can be distracting for some, even regrettable, but Bones is a horror film made to entertain and so long as it keeps us glued to to the screen, I say it did a good job.

It may lack the big production look, but Bones really tried its best to bring out the goods from the hood, for both horror fans and too some for the old fashioned Blaxploitation junkies. An underrated gem with a darkened soul that will do good for you good casual horror fans, Ya dig?

1 male slaughtered, blood splash seen
1 male slaughtered offscreen
1 male shot, stabbed to death with switchblade (flashback)
1 male mauled to death by dog
1 male had his throat cut with switchblade
1 male had his throat cut with switchblade, slaughtered
1 male slaughtered, mostly offscreen
1 female found murdered
1 male impaled by flying shards, decapitated with switchblade
1 male impaled on a hook and gutted with switchblade
1 male ravaged by damned souls
1 male slaughtered by damned souls
1 female burned to death
Total: 13


  1. I wanna see this movie for 5 or 6 years, but for whatever reason I constantly forget about checking it out. I'm so lame :)

    1. No yer not. But seriously. it's a decent movie, you should definitely check it out when you get the chance!

  2. Great review K Man! It's not a great movie - but it is solidly watchable - and yum yum Pam Grier! Still smokin' hot!

    I want Maynard to see this one too - see what concensus the three of us come to!

    1. One of us should lend him a copy...or direct him to one!