Starring: Caitlin Gerard, Melanie Papalia and Shane Dawson
Remember CRY_WOLF (2005)? That teen slasher wannabe that everybody seems to dislike except me? Well, believe it or not, it got a clone for some godforsaken reason. A bad one.
Struggling to move on from her mother's death, bitter and depressed Ashley leaves her family for college only to find herself coming across an urban legend involving a smiley-faced killer who, as rumor has it, will kill any person on the other side of a chatroom site by typing "I did it for the lulz" three times. Believing it as nothing but a load of hogwash and coaxed by a new friend she made, Ashley jokingly typed the words in a chat between a random perv in the web and, shockingly enough, the man gets slaughtered on live cam by a smiley-masked killer. This apparently made the rumors turn in for the worse as soon, people starts disappearing and Ashley begins to see the smiley-faced assailant closing in on her...
So with blood, gore, thrills and even T&A missing, what was left for Smiley in the first place? It's marketed as a slasher but it's really more of a character study centered on an emotionally wrecked girl, who I felt little to care about. Seeing a girl already vulnerable from the get-go only to go deeper into dementia isn't exactly what I call entertainment and, as I've said a dozen times already from my previous reviews, I watch slasher flicks to enjoy an hour and a half (or more) of people dying gruesomely in creative manner, not go through life lessons about surviving college with an emotional half-wit. (Though, I could give her some slack, she did lost her mum) To top it off, the rest of the casts aren't likable either; they're ass wipes who troll one another or just plain douchebags who think they're better and, my friends, I would really rather see these kind of people get mutilated than watch breakdown girl do her thing.
If there's anything I could commend about Smiley, it's the twist ending; I maybe the only guy who's in this, but without spoiling much, let's just say there's a little surprise at the end and I wanted to see what happens after that! The filmmakers at least owe that for making us sit through this wasted opportunity and wasting a cool looking killer like Smiley!
So, am I discouraging you to see Smiley? Actually, no. I may hate it at a point, but if it's something you think you'll enjoy, then go. For me, this game is over and I would rather go through a messy junk like Chain Letter (2009) again than go through watching Madam Freaks-alot and her merry trolls. In fact, I think that's good alternate title for the movie! I call dibs!
1 female gets a hunting knife through the back
1 male gets a hunting knife to the back
1 male gets a hunting knife to the chest
1 male glimpsed stabbed with hunting knife
1 male glimpsed gutted with hunting knife
1 male glimpsed throat cut with hunting knife
1 female repeatedly stabbed on the gut with hunting knife
1 male found with his face skinned
1 male shot, throat cut with hunting knife
1 female gets a hunting knife to the eye
|Bye, have a beautiful time!|