Heaven's for Everybody. 'Cept you!: Bloody Bloody Bible Camp (2012)

Bloody Bloody Bible Camp (2012)
Rating: ***
Starring:  Reggie Bannister, Tim Sullivan and Ron Jeremy

I waited for this movie. And cried. And begged. And flailed for the unknown forces in the universe to have this movie reach me in any ways possible since I've first heard about it at 2008. Now, I finally have it and I'm glad to say this is one of the wildest, sleaziest and moderately gory retro throwback to the 70s/80s hack n' slash I've seen in years.

Opening in 1977, at a time when the campers and counselors of a backwoods Christian camp are spending one night with booze, drugs and the occasional sex fest. Not particularly the things you would expect from a Bible thumper's camp and somebody lurking in the woods wearing a nun's habit believes it's about time these people have a one on one talk with the Almighty for their sins. Thus fifteen minutes into the movie, and during the title credits (the same gimmick used in the Friday the 13th reboot), we get our first massacre done through a rather deadly crucifix dagger.

Seven years later, another set of colorful teens joins Father Cummins in his mission to hopefully reopen the Bible camp, despite the locals warning them not to enter "Bloody Bloody Bible Camp". Ignoring the doomsayers (as many doomed souls do), the group went on and does the very same shenanigans most backwoods slasher victims do before being gutted alive: campfire tales, random filler scenes, swimming in the lake, more random filler, and the death of the first victim. Which happens to be African American. (There goes me trying to debunk the "Black Guy dies first" cliche...)

Turns out there is a town legend known as Sister Mary Chopper who was mentally abused as a child by a nun (of course) and rumored to have grown up into a devil masked cross-dressing sister with an axe, killing off all fornicators which means one thing for the campers and their counselor: they're fucked.

Bloody Bloody Bible Camp definitely works in mysterious ways as while it hails some crafty tributes to some 80s slasher classics (naked lady running down the stairs from The Demon (1980), eye popped out ala 3D from Friday the 13th Part 3D (1983), just to name a few), the movie also molded something of a bad taste charm; it's clearly made for laughs and overriding it with exaggerated tropes and stereotypes, even going as far as dropping all sense of dread sometime around the near end for a totally messed-up and random finale.

Only the dividing taste of the viewer will tell whether this is a good or a bad thing; I clearly find myself wedge in the middle of two as while I find the concept, the killer and some of the bloody good kills to be, well, bloody good, the ever-running campiness of the flick, bullocks load of plot holes, the lack of any rootable characters and the out-of-the-blue finale got me tilting my head in confusion and mixed feelings. Still, I feel like the goods overshine the bad and I had fun watching it all through.

It's nice to see Reggie Bannister again, I'll give my hat to that, too; while it might be a while before we have that Fourth Phantasm sequel, I'm just glad to see the guy in relatively small yet fun roles such as this. Then there's Ron Jeremy as Jesus Christ (!), a role that was more of a random encounter siding with comic relief. Rest of the cast are pretty unknown, least for me, but they kept the film going without boring or making us cringe so I guess they're pretty fair.

Lastly, there's also a truck-load of gore presented in the movie. Nasty, messy, splashy gore. Some realistic, other's a little cheap, all gruesomely good to go with our maniac nun, a cleverly sweet variation to the killer preacher type that's rarely tackled in this subgenre.

Retro fans might see a good spending with this flickie, though I'm more leaning to just recommending a weekend rent for those in doubt. True, it's a little cheap, lacking some strong backbone and solid casting, but if you like sleaze, exploits too silly to offend, and backwoods gore, then Bloody Bloody Bible Camp (2012) is your destination!

Bodycount:
1 male gets a crucifix dagger through the head, exit to eye
1 male gets a crucifix dagger to the neck
1 male strangled with rosary
1 male disemboweled with crucifix dagger
1 male stabbed to death crucifix dagger
1 female found decapitated
1 male castrated with crucifix dagger
1 female had crucifix dagger thrown to her head
1 male decapitated with axe
1 male had his gut slashed open with axe
1 male had his head crushed with cinder block
1 female gets an axe swung to her groin
1 male stabbed to death with crucifix dagger
1 male gets a crucifix dagger to the neck
1 male crushed underneath a corpse
Total: 15