WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS BODYCOUNT. HIGH RISK OF SPOILERS. ENTER IF YOU DARE.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
The Curse of Mama's Skull: Hollywood's New Blood (1988)
starring: Bobby Johnston, Francine Lapensée, Joe Balogh
Sometimes we just have to wonder, as a slasher fanatic or completists, how many titles out there are waiting to be found? But have we taken the consideration of those movies that shouldn't be found? When a movie's considered rare, it's never a guarantee that they're good. In fact, it might be a status that is for their own good.
Hollywood's New Blood is a good example of a rarity deserving its obscurity, as it focuses on an actor's seminar camp being attacked by a trio of butt-ugly hobos who may be related to a family killed at a house explosion movie stunt many years ago. Oddly, 77 minutes is still too long for this movie, as the extremely thin plot could have been done as a short film, rather than stretching it out to a feature film with long extended scenes of the three killers (revealed after 5 minutes into the movie) shambling their way to the cabin as if the movie's pacing isn't already a problem...
Other cons include the uninspired soundtrack, the lazy camera work, horrendous gore effects, kill scenes and, well, the point that the villain wasn't, and never will be, interesting. These supposed avenging brothers came into the movie looking like drunken vagrants who may just strolled out of the woods and into the movie, so do forgive me if I can be a little harsh to them but last time I checked, hobos with no shotguns are never scary...nor are they intimidating. (haha, Hobo with a Shotgun reference...)
Same and much more can be said to the cast; oh God, ironic is it enough that these people are supposed to be aspiring actors who are trying to be better at their jobs, but does that really mean they have to stink in real life? And who brings back a human skull nonchalantly as if he's picking up sea shells on a beach?!
The movie slugs down even at the end, with a lame, lifeless fight and a final shot that looks like a skull being smashed into a guy's face, (whether this killed him or not is never explained), the film's ineptness really shines through the celluloid thus making Hollywood's New Blood one of the more-deserving title to be forgotten. If you managed to find one, I really advice you, reader, to just forget it. Do not answer your curiosity, as it ain't worth every cent you got in your lint-covered pockets and it's best to pretend you didn't see it.
1 female had her throat cut offcamera
1 male gutted with hunting knife
1 female killed with garden shears
1 male knifed to death
1 male had pieces of him sliced off with hunting knife
1 male gets a knife pushed deeper into his gut against a tree
1 male gets a dart to the eye
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"Just forget it. Do not answer your curiosity, as it ain't worth every cent you got in your lint-covered pockets and it's best to pretend you didn't see it."ReplyDelete
Well, if you say s-OH GOD, THE STREISAND EFFECT IS TAKING HOLD!
GODDAMN IT! I DIDN'T WENT THROUGH HELL JUST FOR YOU TO SUFFER THE SAME FATE! FIGHT IT! FIGHT IT I SAY!Delete