Naughty People Have Rot for Brains: The Present (2005)

Kazuo Umezu's Horror Theater: The Present (Umezu Kazuo: Kyôfu gekijô - Purezento) (Japan, 2005)

Rating: ***

Starring: Mai Takahashi, Takamasa Suga and Yoko Mitsuya

Kazuo Umezu's Horror Theater is a series of 50 minute short films with varying level of cheesiness, creepiness and exceptional low-budget; while some shorts are terrible in terms of execution and/or storytelling, The Present was one of the few titles that makes the low-budget work with a proper amount of shocks, laughs, good gore and an easy to follow story.

We open with young Yuko excited about Santa's midnight appearance. Though a little rattled from a nightmare she had that night, her parents assure everything's gonna be okay and Santa will be there soon. 

What happened next that night was never made clear, as we go head long to a few years later, joining the now-young adult Yuko celebrating Christmas with her loud, brash and annoying friends, one of which just happens to be a guy she's eyeballing. When a simple trip to the bar wasn't enough to satisfy their debauchery, the gang decided to pack up and spend their night at a fancy mansion-like hotel. There, they find their night of possible fun and games turned into a horrifying nightmare when a vengeful Santa Claus decided to get back the presents he gave, and he's doing it with a nasty chained blade and a pack of carnivorous reindeers!

As a slasher, The Present does manage to dish out what matters in the sub-genre, mainly gory kills and some sleaze, though its short running time does mean a rather small bodycount and a fast-paced execution of the story, with almost all of the character hardly fleshed out. The only exception was our main girl Yuko, whose sudden transition from a jolly child to a sullen adult may be the reason to why Santa is after her with most anticipation, creating a mystery to what exactly happened to her that one Christmas Eve night.

On the production department, The Present is okay when it comes to the gore and some practical effects; though I find someone bleeding to death from an arm stump resembling of a broken beer keg beyond believable, the non-CG effects are fair, featuring your usual sticky red innards, folks sliced in halves or quarters, and plenty of sloppy shocking visceral close-ups. We do have this one visual effect involving Santa's bladed Christmas star weapon that looks hilariously bad whenever it goes all Matrix-like, Slow-mo and all! Thankfully, scenes involving this gag are few, so I guess we're given that mercy! And, in your typical J-Horror shlock, we also got one heck of a last minute weirdness and twist, though not overall terrible by means of a quick jab at us slasher and splatter fans, poking fun at our fascination for all things mutilated and dismembered.

The Present is, by all means, a J-Horror flick trying to be an American slasher; while it have many of the usual suspects right, the overall feel is definitely your standard Asian horror in terms of weirdness and theme. Not a bad movie for this time of the year, and a definite try for any Killer Santa fans out there!

Bodycount:
1 female bled to death from missing arm
1 male found in half
1 male thrown to wall, leg sliced off with chained blade
1 female beaten repeatedly against table
1 male gets a bladed toy staff through the head, exit to mouth
1 female found rotting in pieces
1 female killed, method unknown
1 female had her brain torn out from her skull
Total: 8

Meri kurisumasu...