Noir Ala Bored: Lasermoon (1993)

Lasermoon (1993)
Rating: *
Starring: Traci Lords, Crystal Shaw, Harrison Le Duke

A serial killer is breaking into houses of lonesome women during nights with a full moon, murdering them by burning their temples with a high-powered surgical laser. Detectives are baffled by the nature of the crimes but got their first lead when a local DJ got himself a suspicious caller who may or may not be responsible for the "lasermoon" killings.

The title itself sounds cool, but it really doesn't give the film a slasher vibe and this is probably because it's more of a cop-thriller than a teen-kill bodycounter flick. While scenes involving the killer are very horror inspired, Lasermoon (1993) focuses more on the characters and the exploits of the police as they try to catch the maniac out frying their victims' brains; the problem with this is that neither the cop or the horror elements are handled properly.

The pacing is slow and the direction has us listening to one character to the next jabber enough uninteresting exposition to the point I was tempted to fast forward to the next murder. And wouldn't you know it, we have to go through 5 or so scenes of the casts yakking their mouths off before we actually see another kill. Unfortunately, even the murders aren't that good; given that the killer's weapon of choice is pretty unique, the attacks are never exciting and the build up to them aresloppy. Worse than this is the film's climax and ending, which not only seem farfetched but are also annoyingly anticlimactic, needlessly open and confusing.

The tone is dull all throughout and the story is really out of focus; one minute we have detectives snooping around for potential suspects, next thing we know we're sucked to a bland DJ's life and his hilariously "serious" mental monologues. (I never knew choosing paper or plastic bags during groceries is a metaphor for a troubled existence!)

It's never a bad idea to mix mystery-thrillers with slasher film tropes, especially seeing movies like Hot Fuzz (2007), Night School (1981) and even Maniac Cop (1988); the problem with Lasermoon (1993) is that it clearly lack the skill to pull off a horror noir, with the resulting dreck being as boring as watching not only paint dry and grass grow, but both combined while reading the FBI disclaimer at the beginning of those old VHS tapes and listen to your Great Grand Pappy ramble about his imaginary wife.

On second thought, maybe listening to your elderly relative rant about a spouse that never existed may sound more entertaining than this piece of shit. Yeah, better go listen to a Grampa with dementia than waste a single minute with Lasermoon (1993).

Bodycount:
1 female had her temple burnt with a surgical laser
1 female mentioned burnt with a surgical laser
1 female burnt with a surgical laser
1 male shot to death
1 female mentioned killed
Total: 5

A Reservation in Quantico: American Psycho II: All American Girl (2002)

American Psycho II: All American Girl
Rating: **
Starring: Mila Kunis, William Shatner, Geraint Wyn Davies

Welp, seeing how big of a fanboy I am for American Psycho, it's no surprise I have to go through this one as well, despite knowing one of my favorite anti-hero was, not only killed off, but was shamelessly replaced by slasherette who couldn't hold on to Mr. Bateman's torch.

The film begins with a young Rachel Newman tied to a chair as she watches her babysitter get eviscerated by the serial-killing yuppie Patrick Bateman. (Who is now portrayed by a different actor, wearing a face mask) Rachel somehow cut herself free and stabs Bateman with an ice pick before walking away with a vow that she'll hunt down every serial killer when she grows up.

Ten years later, Rachel is now at college studying criminology and hopes to get the teaching-assistant position under her professor, Robert Starkman (played by William Shatner), a job that may guarantee employment at the FBI. But becoming class assistant is a dream not without its complications with her age, experience, and other candidates being the many bumps on that road. Fortunately for Rachel, and unfortunately for these people, she has no problem wielding a murder weapon or two to cut down the competition.

The main problem with this film was that it tries to use the same narrative technique the first film did, by having the killer voice out her thoughts as she goes through the murdering as if it was interesting. This worked with the original American Psycho because the killer there do these killings as if it was a hobby, often sidestepping into other trivial topics such as pop music and exercise routines. In All American Girl, she voices her motives and reasons for doing the crime, which were sound. Extreme, but boringly and unimaginatively sound. This actually makes her less likable since, while Mr. Bateman's madness was influenced by near nothingness, Rachel's awareness of what she is doing does not shine the same kind of spontaneous quirk and reduces her to a petty murderer.

The reason for this was that the script was never an intended follow up to the cult classic; the real intention of the producers was to have Bateman take over Los Angeles and/or Las Vegas, but a few creative disputes lead them resort into adapting a sequel from a script titled "The Girl Who Wouldn't Die" and just plastered "American Psycho" to cash in with that film's success. In fact, the events from the first American Psycho was never mentioned here and the only tie-in All American Girl made with the first film was "Patrick Bateman", who can be easily replaced with any other murderer since he is only mentioned here as a "household topic".

What we have here instead is a slasher movie with a side of weak character study; the villainess is forgettable despite Mila Kunis' fair and sometimes cheeky portrayal, and the murders aren't all that imaginative and was edited into near nothingness. The direction is nothing in par with the depth of the original but it is okay as far as a slasher film is concerned; it has a level that it is watchable as a stand-alone movie but all the attempts tying this film with the first American Psycho just come off distracting and made this film desperate.

There isn't much else to say about this movie except that it is a shameful cash-in that does not understand the spirit of the first American Psycho. The 2000 film is franchise enough for the Bret Easton Ellis's novel so I failed to see the need for this cheap and cliched production. Angrier, deadlier and sexier? Hardly.

Bodycount:
1 female head seen in a freezer
1 female gutted with a knife
1 male stabbed on the head with an ice pick
1 female bludgeoned with a Commemorative plaque
1 male strangled with a condom
1 female hanged
1 male stabbed with an ice pick, eyes gouged
1 male suffers a heart attack, falls off a window
1 male gets a mop handle through the head
1 male killed with a stanley knife
1 female seen garroted with a thin wire
1 female mentioned murdered
Total 12

By he way, am I the only one bewildered by this dude's hair-do?

A Reservation in Dorsia: American Psycho (2000)

American Psycho (2000)
Rating: ****1/2
Starring: Christian Bale, Justin Theroux, Josh Lucas

"My pain is constant and sharp, and I do not hope for a better world for anyone. In fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape. But even after admitting this, there is no catharsis; my punishment continues to elude me, and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself. No new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing."

The late 80s were considered by some as the years of the yuppies, when rich men were at their finest and suburbia was under their whim. More or less, these men and women care little about others so they thrive to top everyone in order to remain in their high horse status as long as they wish. Call them greedy, call them shallow, but call them crazy? Close, very close.

Meet Patrick Bateman, an investment banker living in the high grounds of the late 1980s. By day, he's your usual rich-type; a healthy dosage of exercises and beautification every morning, discussing couture and opinions among others in the firm, rethinking his preferences for leisurely entertainment such as music, and dining in expensive restaurants for dinners. He may be living a shallow existence but he is doing his darn best to break the routine by night, as he becomes someone rather dangerous; a psychopath.

Killing homeless people, hookers, and a few peers who he really dislikes, we follow Mr. Bateman as he prowls the streets for potential victims, murder with much hysteria and evade capture, all for the sake of doing it out of a sick passion. But how long exactly can his psyche stand all this violence? How long can he hold the facade of perfection if the mask of own sanity is starting to slip away?

Based on a controversial 1991 novel of the same name by Bret Easton Ellis, American Psycho is an oddly quirky, if not a darkly comedic look into the supposed imperfections of society through the eyes of a deranged yuppie. Most of the film is highlighted through the narration of the character's own thoughts, which is really nothing more than trivial knowledge of quality music, clothes, lifestyle, all the materialistic needs a shallow man would want. I find this approach quite intriguing as it does allow us to study the individual voicing them as he goes through situations that would trigger sympathy, guilt, and desperation, things that Mr. Bateman doesn't seem to fully grasp. The result is us watching a man pushing the boundaries of his own morality, taking a toll of his already fragile state of mind and existence.

That being said, American Psycho is a thriller with a bit of a character study. There really isn't major plot for the whole film, just us following what goes around his head while he commit these horrible murders. The closest thing we got as a story was that of a minor plot concerning the infamous axe murder of Paul Allen, an associate of Patrick and a man that a lot of people kept confusing him for. The murder pushed the film right into full horror gear as we watch our protagonist murder his way through individuals in manners more gruesome than the last, ultimately putting him in a sort of paranoiac and near disillusioned state. It all soon leads to full-on climatic shooting spree that ends with a very ambiguous note, making us all rethink to what we really saw.

Much of the movie's workable repeat viewing comes from Christian Bale's own performance as Bateman, an ambitious role with a wide array of emotions despite his character being dissociated with the rest of the world in the inside. The character's snobbish and figure-obsessed persona worked pretty well with Bale's body language and build, an ironic little detail considering Bateman's obsession of perfecting his body coincides with him obsessing on destroying others'.

Seeing this is a big budget production, you can bet your good two cents that the quality of the movie is top notch. While there were some issues concerning clothing brands bitching about their reputation when their clothes, bags and other stuffs are used during the film's gruesome scenes, everything else in the production worked pretty well; camera work is beautiful and I loved the fact that our American psycho murders to the hippest songs for its time. Composer John Cale also worked a way to further staple Patrick's fantastic obsession for chaos through a score that's dreamy, soft, and beautiful.

The writing is witty and funny enough to cater for black comic enthusiasts and while the lack of gore may turn off some horror fans (especially those who are loyal to the book), the kills are brutal enough without the excessive detail. In a way, I am glad they didn't made it as violent as the book since, the way I see it, it might just distract us from the film's message against ego, obsession and materialism, and might just end up too exploitative. (Though, I cannot deny that I wished they would have at least considered shooting the Habitrail scene from the book. Just out of sick curiosity I guess...)

It's genius in its contrast and beautiful in its chaos, it is more than just another horror film made for sick thrills; it is the dark side of American cinema disguised as a main stream movie. Love it or hate it, American Psycho is a cinematic classic that deserved its fans and deserves to have more!

Bodycount:

1 female implied murdered, bloodstains seen in sheets
1 male knifed to death
1 dog stomped
1 male hacked to death with an axe
1 female head seen
1 female repeatedly bitten, killed
3 female bodies seen inside multiple rooms

1 female had a chainsaw dropped on top of her
1 elderly female shot
1 male shot
3 cops immolated in car explosion
1 male shot on the head
1 male shot
Total: 17
(Note: Due to the killer's state of mind, a lot of these kills are debatable)

Oddly Skullish Masks: The Redwood Massacre (2015)

The Redwood Massacre (United Kingdom, 2015)
Rating: **
Starring: Mark Wood, Lisa Cameron, Lisa Livingstone

Strangely, while I found nothing admirable from this film apart from successfully wasting an hour and a half of my day, I also cannot dismiss this movie. Why is that?

The story is nothing new; five campers decided to hang out in the woods for the usual bonding experience, only there appears to be some sort of love triangle within the three that leads to absolutely nothing. Why? Because there's a burlap sack-wearing killer out in the forest killing people for...the sake of killing people . (Not much is really given to what motivates this maniac save for a campfire tale about a farmer who'd gone bonkers and murdered-cannibalized his family with an axe.)

The totality of the film then follows the remaining campers (a bitchy girlfriend and a dull-looking good girl) walking through the woods to find their friends, all the while one of said friends escapes and tries to evade his killer, getting other people murdered along the way. Sad thing about this shindig was that it's barely exciting and the resulting scares and killings were dull, repetitive and overdone.

Each kill was done away with a gratuitous blood splashes and stock sound clips, but they lack any real creativity that a good slasher film should possess. While I normally do not mind repeated use of the same murder weapon or method of said murder, the only time I feel this way for a horror film is when the story was engaging and, sadly, this film failed to establish any likable or strong characters to begin with. They just let the maniac show his oddly molded burlap-sacked face and start massacring them, barely handing us enough time to establish ourselves in their situation.

Still, I admire the effort made to make these killings as shocking as possible; The Redwood Massacre was a chore to watch as sack-head goes Hostel on us and toys with some his victims before ending their lives, but I can tell the people behind this film wanted more. The problem with this was that the execution of these scenes needed work; the killer's body language was a little confused, some scenes are prolonged for the sake of padding and the victims react to their demise very oddly.

With no twist in the end or any shock value that works, the film is simply about campers trying to survive a night in the woods and at barnyard, which also happen to be the hunting ground of our psycho. The Redwood Massacre is passable as a low-budget splatterfest that's really just in it for the grue and nothing much, but if you're the kind of sick camper who's into this, give this one a try.

Bodycount:
1 female knifed on the gut, hacked to death with an axe
1 female killed offscreen
1 male hacked to death with an axe
1 female hacked with an axe, disemboweled
1 girl beheaded with an axe
1 boy hacked to death with an axe
1 female knifed to death
1 male had his forehead sawed open with a hacksaw

1 male seen dead

1 female hacked to death with an axe
1 female stabbed with a saw, disemboweled
1 male stabbed to death with a saw

7 males and 4 female seen dead

1 male punched through the gut
1 male had his throat slashed with a saw
1 male crushed with falling cars
Total: 26

A Clunky Zombie's Night Out: Jonah Lives (2012)

Boys and girls, it's that time again!

In today's episode, we look into the religious life of being a dumb ass and the consequences of not knowing how to handle one undead. For now I present to you...

Jonah Lives (2012)
Rating: 0
Starring:  Brinke Stevens, Jocelyn Padilla, Ryan Boudreau

Now, here is one thing I notice about slasher movies: the reason why a group of teens get slaughtered by a single killer is because they always split up, leaving one or two victims alone and ripe for the killer's picking. It's a dumb move to begin with given their situation, which is why many of us root for said killer cuz, let's face it, some of these people aren't going to contribute much in the future. (except, maybe, legalize marijuana or something)

So with this said, humor me this: we got six teenagers in a basement and a non-runner, non-flesh munching zombie skulking the basement hall. Count it again, six teenagers. Against one zombie that doesn't eat meat and walks around like a rusted robot. And five of these teenagers died at the end of the film.

Is this how dumb movie victims are getting nowadays?

Jonah Lives tells the story of six teenagers who decided to hang out in their friend's basement while their parents and other grownups have a livelier party of their own in the house. Growing bored of playing poker, they further exploit their stupidity by playing with an Ouija board in hopes of talking to a spirit. All of this happening while one of them kept bitching about how messed up this is going to be cuz they'll be dealing with "devil stuff", making me, a sort-of Christian, embarrassed of the religion I grew up with and further forcing me to accept religious skepticism.

Their board picked up the spirit of one Hanoj Jonah, a man who was recently murdered by his money-hungry wife. Jonah tells them that he wanted revenge so he crawled out of his grave and lumbers his way to the party, to start killing off the kids because of...revenge?

I'm not even sure if Jonah is all that focused on this revenge scheme; I mean seriously, why is he killing the teenagers when halfway to the film, it was revealed that one of the character's mum, who happens to be at the party upstairs, was the one who killed Jonah and took his moolah. Further more, our dead guy seems to notice this but spends the film up until the last act, chasing these teenagers and killing them. Is he murdering the teenagers for disturbing his eternal sleep, or was he really just that pissed off for being dead that he can't tell who's guilty or not?

This isn't the only problem of Jonah Lives; the characters themselves are established to be religious in some way and yet, this never went anywhere except for that one guy who refused to play. Strangely enough, he was the first to go! So were the producers trying to make them likable cuz they're holy and shit? So when they die we feel for them? Well, it doesn't work! Apart from their implied holiness, they're still bland, annoying, lacking any real personality, and above all, dumb.

Again, six teenagers, against a clunky zombie. I guess I can understand that the first guy has to bite it since he didn't saw ole Jonah coming. What were the rest's excuse? Five against one zombie! Which they outran more than once! Heck, they even got as far as go to the basement door before the site of the zombie spooked them back into running! Seriously, I will be freaked out too when I see my first zombie! I would have ran as well but these guys saw it more than once, you ought they would have wise up and thought up a plan to CUT the zombie's head off! (they got tools in that basement and not one of them thought of picking one up!)

So with all of these religious mumbo-jumbo and teenagers that are perfect candidate for the Darwin Horror Awards, is there at least something good Jonah Lives offered? Seeing this is the director's first film, not really: editing is "music video inspired" in a lack of a better term, the special effects are cheap, the story is dull and outrageous, the acting is overdone, Jonah's make-up looked too clean to be scary, pacing is terrible, what else can I say? It belongs right up to my bottomless bottom where I shall digest it in pain and excruciatingly shit out because that is precisely what this film is and just did!

I might be a little harsh about this film as it is, after all, a directorial debut. These new directors are trying so hard to make their slashers unique that they're overdoing it and the result is anything but fun. Jonah Lives? Shove it back to the grave! If you guys want a religiously themed slasher flick, I recommend End of the Line or Bloody Bloody Bible Camp for that matter. least these titles are focused...

Bodycount:
1 male bludgeoned with a baseball bat
1 male suffers an asthma attack
1 male bashed on the head with a sledgehammer
1 female had her neck bitten open
1 male had an arm lopped off with a shovel, brained
1 female killed offscreen
Total: 6

Thor's Exit: Bludgeoned (2002)

Bludgeoned (2002) (AKA "No Tomorrow")
Rating: ***
Starring: Gary Houston, Marisa Juliette Dugas, Brendan Hutt

Hardly seen or heard, this possible StickyRed exclusive is about a boy, his hero, and a book.

Rick Carpenter is a high schooler with an obsession for violence unlike many; while some outcasts retreat to their violent fantasies via movies or video games, Rick finds comfort in expressing his darkest dreams through writing, inspired by his single most favorite book, Thor's Exit.

His passion for the book leads him to attend the author-turned-creative writing teacher Michael Christman's class, but Rick's disappointed when he finds out his "hero" cared very little for the book. This breaks him into picturing the book's titular anti-hero, Thor (or as the villain prefers to be called, "Maluch") to appear whenever Rick dreams, further fueling his already deranged state. As his days become harder and more grueling, Rick contemplates further if life is really nothing more but a dream and that he himself has the power to be whatever he wants to be or do. Like kill.

With a story like this, it's less of a slasher movie and more of an angst-filled coming-of-age drama; while the horror elements are ever present, they're mostly dreams and visions that are in Rick's head and much of it seems to be building up to something powerful and violent. Because of this, majority of the play time have us watching one disturbed kid go through life in his eyes, which is really no more than random tidbits of events, few of the good and plenty of the bad.

It works in a level as the acting around its casts is pretty decent for a low-budget thriller and the development of Rick's psychosis did kept me glued to see how bad will he end up once he grabs that hammer.

Unfortunately, this is where Bludgeoned disappoints; for a movie that focuses on a young adult's sick dreams of becoming a homicidal madman, the big payoff felt like more should have been done for it. We did have some deserving victims falling to Rick's madness, true, but these attacks and murders were packed in the last act of the story, meaning very little was done and more deserving candidates for his bludgeoning were left alone in an open ending. While we all can assume he had gone to finish them at the end of the movie, it wouldn't hurt to have a few more crushed skulls and broken bones presented for us on camera seeing that the film was being marketed as a horror flick. Then again, it could just be me.

I'm not going to lie, though I enjoyed watching this as an intrigued character study, I can't recommend it to just anyone as I can tell this is for a selected taste. I would go and even say May (2002) is a better candidate to satisfy your teen drama-thriller-horror cravings but if you love obscurities with some potential watchability, give Bludgeoned (or No Tomorrow as it is called in some release) a go. That is if you can find it.

Bodycount:
1 male ran through with a sledgehammer's handle (dream)
1 male bludgeoned with a sledgehammer (dream)
1 male brained with a claw hammer
1 male bludgeoned to death with a sledgehammer
1 female found mangled down the stairs
1 male bludgeoned with a sledgehammer
1 male bludgeoned to death with a sledgehammer
Total: 7

Backpackers Spare Ribs: Charlie's Farm (2014)

Charlie's Farm (Australia, 2014)
Rating: ***
Starring: Tara Reid, Nathan Jones, Kane Hodder

Charlie's Farm came to my interest while I was browsing for new horror releases back at 2013. I stumbled upon one of its promotional artwork, which featured one would assume as Charlie, sitting triumphantly on a mound of skulls whilst other slasher icons lay dead around him.

They're actually crowning him as horror's new king. New king!

I will go as far as say that he might have a chance against Leatherface, Mick Taylor and Michael Myers (Let's face it guys, Michael Myers may have survived gunfire but he is still human. The only reason he lived to star in sequels was because no one ever tried decapitating him. Which is why I kinda cheered at the end of Halloween H20...don't hate me), but Jason Voorhees? The guy who literally just came back from the dead out of pure will in Freddy vs Jason? Or Freddy for that matter?! Literally a demon that haunts and kills you in your dreams!

Perhaps it was to hype us up on how badass this new movie monster is gonna be and after seeing it, he kinda is but he lacked something...

Charlie's Farm is stripped down to the basic slasher bone as this is really nothing more than another gory take on the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre with a bit of Madman (1982); A local legend tells of a family that once lived at the titular farm in the outbacks. The family consisted of a deranged cannibal couple and their mentally handicapped son, hunting down those who strayed too near to their farm. When the townsfolk had enough of their evil ways, they murdered the couple but decided to leave their boy Charlie for dead, believing he wouldn't survive in the wilderness on his own. Some say the boy never really existed, others believe he is still alive, slaying people over the years, but four backpackers decided to visit the infamous barn just for the sense of thrill and for curiosity's sake.

Despite the warnings of the townsfolk, they did find the barn, along with a seven foot tall, machete wielding hulking wild man that have been feeding on whatever he could catch and, yes, that includes humans.

Long story short, they're monumentally screwed.

Clocking at a good 88 minutes, Charlie's Farm is a gory throwback to 80s slashers, with a story so simple that it sticks pretty focused on building up to the killer's arrival and the slaughtering of these four thrill seekers. (Well, six thanks to some last minute additions, literally just there to add up the kill count) For the first half hour, we get the basic cliches of one-dimensional characters upsetting the locals and sharing campfire tales of Charlie and his family. (Hardcore horror fans would easily recognize the father as the legendary Bill Moseley) It does very little but pad some running time, the characters thankfully not all too bad as personalities. Just as plain as dried nuts.

After finding the barn, finishing the rest of Charlie's story and getting their first hand encounter with the local boogeyman (though dismissed as a dream) the real action starts once the gang decided to split in two groups to explore the place a little better and Charlie himself finally arrives in the flesh; advertised as 7-feet tall and weighs 375 lbs, imagine Rob Zombie's Michael Myers in H2, only more hobo, more animal, and sports a weird back deformity that made his spine visible. Not really the look I have in mind for our new horror king but at least strongman Nathan Jones (of the 2015 Mad Max movie) looked kinda cool in a manic cannibal hobo way, plus his character wields an odd looking weapon that resembles a saw-toothed machete crossed with a billhook, that had to count for something!

Around this part, the film showcased its effects work and it was one of the best I've seen in a slasher flick for a while. There's a few CG assist and the majority of the killings were done with traditional latex and camera tricks, including a lot of impalements (and unimpaling), body parts being ripped out, and a nasty castration. The fun thing about this is that it's worth the wait and Charlie, as I mentioned, is pure badass and he knows it. Not only is he big and ugly, but he can take a lot of damage and even beckons some characters to take their best shot at him. (And one of said characters was Jason Voorhees unmasked himself, Kane Hodder!) He is that smug and I believe this film is no more than a star vehicle for a possible new horror icon. Did it worked though?

I'll be honest, the killings are cool and the man-monster is cooler, but the lack of any original plotting or strong leads to root for made this film kinda plain unless you (like me some times) are just in it for the gore. It could be a new cult classic, much like how Laid to Rest and Hatchet seems to have gathered some small following despite their bare-bone stories but Charlie's Farm can be easily replaced as a viewing choice by a ton other similarly premised horror flicks like Wrong Turn. (Or more likely, Wrong Turn 2) And yet, I'm not going to easily dismiss this film; it has potential from a solid direction to great gore effects (though the lighting could use some work) and I am looking forward for any further franchising featuring this cannibal hobo as he is enough of a reason to watch this film.

Close to mediocre yet far from bad, the movie is a good rental choice for those lonesome nights where you crave for bloody chunks on your simplistic horror stories; a movie made simply to star a maniac just for the maniacs inside all of us! Love it or hate it, you can't go wrong with a single visit to Charlie's Farm!

Bodycount:
1 male beheaded with a saw-toothed billhook
1 female ran through and disemboweled with a saw-toothed billhook
1 male and 1 female mentioned murdered, pieces of them seen
1 female seen disemboweled
1 male shot on the head with a hunting rifle
1 female bludgeoned to death
1 male hacked to death with an axe
1 female had her head crushed with a tractor wheel
1 male castrated with a saw-toothed billhook, chocked on a severed groin
1 female had her jaw ripped off
1 male clawed on the throat
1 male nearly beheaded with a hunting knife
1 male gets a thrown hatchet to his back
1 female ran through and disemboweled with a hunting rifle
Total: 15