"Do It": Cassandra (1986)

Cassandra (Australia, 1986)

Rating: ***1/2

Starring: Tegan Charles, Tessa Humphries, Dylan O'Neill 

Ozploitation slashers are awfully little in numbers but most of the outcomes are arguably quite favorable; the best examples would be the amazing Wolf Creek franchise, as well as the evil genius-themed Dead Kids (1981) (AKA Strange Behavior), the theatre-motif Stagefright (1980), the made for TV Coda (1987) and the Post-90s teen kill Cut (2000).

Now, we will be reviewing an exceptionally rare Cassandra, a gothic thriller that literally starts with a bang as we watch an apparent suicide-by-shotgun of a woman while a creepy boy coaxes her to "do it". We soon see that this is a dream a  teenager named Cassandra have been constantly getting to the point she wonders if this is a repressed memory from her childhood. Whenever she shares this with her parents, they simply brush this off even if they later hinted with each other that they may know a thing or two. Nevertheless, all are bound for the worse when Cassandra discovers her father, a photographer, was having an affair and probably impregnated one of his models and soon escalates further when said model was killed later the following night.

The cops turn up and started questioning everybody who could be involved but stranger things are at play when we find out that Cassandra saw the murder through an unexplained psychic link with the killer. Now it's up to her to figure out what's really going on and uncover the horrible truth of her past, in an attempt to stop the killer before they strike again.

What I really love about Cassandra is that it has style; take for granted that the story isn't all that amazing, even more if you could take the time to notice the number of slasher influences it had to work with, the execution for the most parts are impressive nonetheless and I like the way they utilize heavy editing to create an atmospheric movie. Colored lenses and wild camera angles expresses varying tones befitting a particular scene, often using the dream-like take again and again that it's almost supernatural, and a practical use of landscape shots to give some sort of isolated feeling which kinda suits the situation our lead ends up being in as she goes on to discover her dark past alone.

Sadly, this film isn't perfect; other downs that a viewer might go through apart from the unoriginal story is that the performances are varying save Tessa Humphies who did an fine job as our titular character. The others are quite questionable in regards to their talent but thankfully, the atmosphere of the film lessens these blows even if the cheesiness of their parts reeks from time to time. I also have to point out the soap-opera subplots were rarely effective and it kinda dragged the film to a snail pace in the middle before catching up once more in the last act. Until then, we get a few murders, not entirely exceptional save a cool looking beheading, but since the movie is story-driven, I can overlook the lack of blood in favor of stylistics. 

You could call it an art film in the same likeness of other slasher titles like Spain's Anguish (1987) and the British Thriller/bodycounter hybrid White of The Eye (1987) with its "style over substance characteristics", something that may have put Cassandra in the obscurities in the first place but let not this issue hinder you from seeing this rare gem as for the right audience, this can be a classy trash well deserved to be enjoyed!

Bodycount:
1 female shot her face off with a shotgun
1 female knifed on the neck
1 male stabbed and decapitated with a shovel
1 male stabbed offscreen and bled to death
1 male repeatedly shot and set on fire
Total: 5

Fatal Fears: Phobia (1980)

Phobia (1980)

Rating: **

Starring:  Paul Michael Glaser, Susan Hogan, John Colicos 

Psychiatirst Dr. Peter Ross is up to something revolutionary in treating phobias. Too bad it's also quite controversial; six inmates are given the opportunity to earn their freedom by participating in Ross' experimental method on curing/facing phobias by showing them recorded simulations of their actual fears through a really big TV screen. How is this revolutionary, or more importantly, help these poor saps is beyond me but problems are abound when these patients begins to die one by one, ironically under the nature of their own fears.

By today's standards, this may not be entirely new, significantly since we have better titles with the same gimmick, and, sadly, the steady-yet dull direction of this movie and the lack of any believable reaction (or acting, for that matter) around the cast doesn't do any better in return. Phobia (1980)'s less of a slasher and more of a thriller with an air of (failed) sophistication and a whodunit angle that barely makes you think since the twist is too darn obvious, thus barely making through with a passing grade for my viewing but have to commend some of the scenes for their shred of effective tension. There's a little trail of cheese through out the movie's plot but seeing this is one of the earlier (if not the first) attempts to do a bodycounter revolving around phobias, I can look over some of these cons and appreciate the effort.

Maybe with a better (and more talented) cast, more inventive kills or at least a tenser and livelier approach, we may get something out of this film but on it's own, Phobia (1980) is a viewing for horror completists and/or hardcore slasher fanatics only. Nothing else to note, just see it if you're curious.

Bodycount:
1 female decimated by a bomb
1 male falls to his death
1 female drowned in a tub
1 male crushed in an elevator shaft
1 male found dead from snake bite
1 male shot on the eye
Total: 6

Robin Williams

1951-2014

"You'll have bad times, but it'll always wake you up to the good stuff you weren't paying attention to."

Random Fan Art Post: Mick Taylor

Of Wolf Creek franchise
Shit, been a while since I posted art here, eh?

The Maine Attraction: You Can't Kill Stephen King (2010)

You Can't Kill Stephen King (2010)

Rating: ***

Starring:  Monroe Mann, Ronnie Khalil, Crystal Arnette

Stephen King is the least I would expect to be involved in a slasher, may it be written or filmed. While some of the shorts he wrote did have the bodycount ring to it, when it comes to straight teen-killings, he's just too complex for something quite as easy. (the film version of Silver Bullet is the closest to being a slasher. Watch it and you'll see all the clichés there.)

Now with this being brought to light, it's likely to say that we will never expect the Master Storyteller to take a jab at this sub-genre, but does this mean we will never see a straight Stephen King slasher? Not entirely, You Can't Kill Stephen King afterall!

Six teens are on a mini van roadtrip to locate and tour the home town of Mr. King, although their main goal once they get there differs for each; Ronnie is an avid SK fan and perhaps the only one in the group who's excited to see the storyteller's town as the rest of his buddies, Iraq vet-slash-jock Monroe, the sisters Lori and Hilary, Nicole the slut and token black dude Lamont are only interested in having fun on the lake or with each other.

Once they reach the town however, the locals were not too kind with outsiders who utter Stephen King's name, quickly dismissing them, warding them off town or just simply acting like jerks to the kids. Not that it matters for most of the gang (except Ronnie) but it goes for the worse when someone starts to bump them off dead, one clichéd character at a time.

Okay, so technically this is a slasher that pays tribute to Stephen King in a manner that only a low-budget film can afford. The gimmick here is that the murders are supposed to be based on killings from selected King's stories but, if you look at it, they're easily passed off as average murders that many other horror titles had done before. A few examplse of this are a hammer murder that was supposedly based on the twist in the short story The Man who Loved Flowers, and another involving a dead body found with its mouth stuffed with sand, which was a nod to the short Beachworld.

While it brings me joy that this movie pays a little bit more attention to King's more obscure stories, I can't help but think that, with a little more budget, this film could had done better murder-tributes to save itself seeing that, separating this catch of an idea from the actual movie, you're basically left with another backwoods slasher-comedy with cheesey characters and hokey plot holes. It's not really terrible, it's just that You Can't Kill Stephen King felt like a missed opportunity, a movie with something creative to offer if it wasn't for the monetary restrictions.

Then again, it's terrible in a sense it's laughable and while the intended comedy is a hit-and-miss, you can still get a few chuckles along the way in its attempt, making this a good movie to see if your tolerance to the cheddar is amazing! It's a movie made out of passion and respect, humble at its best to keep up glued for a while and just let us have a good time. It gets a little weird at times but it sure is fun as heck!

Far from the deep, terrifying, wondrous amalgam of everything you love and know about the man from Maine, You Can't Kill Stephen King is definitely a package of hammy lines and good ole' dead teen antics with a fairly decent twist. Recommended for King fans with a humor!

 

Bodycount:

1 female bashed on the face with a shovel

1 male gets his throat cut with a knife, slaughtered

1 female brained to death with hammer

1 female found dead with a mouth full of sand

1 female thrown off from height, falls to her death

Total: 5

Dear Dead Rosemary: The Prowler (1981)

The Prowler (AKA "Rosemary's Killer") (1981)

Rating: ****

Starring: Farley Granger, Vicky Dawson, Christopher Goutman, Cindy Weintraub

Ah yes, the end of World War II; where good young folks who fought for their country come back home to the warm and welcoming hands of their friends, families and lovers, their service, sacrifice and hardship rewarded in a debt of gratitude. Though some may not get exactly that, as some sacrifices are not without their own consequences and one example of this is the written Dear John letter of a lonely lover who tells her man overseas that she's moving on, seeing she had been waiting for a long time for him to come back, unsure if her lover was alive or not.

While some may get a bit discouraged by this, even upset, this particular trooper didn't take this too kindly. We then cut to the night of 1945 in Antonio Bay where many returning soldiers are escorting their girlfriends to their graduation dance after waiting for them during the war. Rosemary was one of them, and with her new lover, she decided for them to take a few moments alone at a nearby isolated gazeebo for a cuddling. What they don't know is that her ex-lover is quietly watching them, making sure that Rosemary gets what she wants with her new man by skewering them together with a pitchfork.

Thirty-Five years later, the bay is preparing for their first Graduation Dance after Rosemary's father Major Chatham banned it the day he found out about the first killings. While generally, all the teens in town are excited, the local cops are having a situation of their own when reports of a violent man claims that their en route to town. Bad timing for the sheriff to be going fishing but nevertheless he leaves the town to his trusted deputy, Mark, expecting him to do a fine job against this maniac.

Then again, it wasn't too long before we're seeing a man booting up an old GI uniform and preparing a sharp bayonet for an all-nighter slaughtering; teens get killed, lovers stalked and chased, Mark have no choice but to team up with his girlfriend Vicky to figure out what's going on and find the culprit before he kills again.

Now, I will admit that The Prowler is a generic slasher film with its own set of flaws; the plot is a carbon copy of that from My Bloody Valentine, a movie that shares the same gimmick wherein the killer returns the night a supposedly banned celebration is held again for the sake of the new generation, though comparing the two, My Bloody Valentine was more focused on this theme as The Prowler was on identifying the killers' identity instead. Unfortunately, said sleuth just didn't work too well as a good amount of time was wasted on false scares (you would thought two kids screwing around in the backstage of a gym would meant something horrible. Yes this is a spoiler), plot holes (why is it Major Chathams, a supposed invalid, keeps popping up whenever the killer is around?) and pretty much a dead end as the killer could have been anybody.

Thankfully, these dull and lifeless scenes were evened out by what makes The Prowler a worthwhile watch. Tom Savini was again in his groove when he worked on the special effects of this film, showering us with some of the vilest and awfully brutal murders shown in celluloid, at least for its time. (Then again, the bayonet head impalement is still pretty messed up for me) These murders are coupled with a good sense of dread and tension, which works quite well at the end where the final girl was separated from her deputy boyfriend and had to flee-fight for her life against a pitch-fork weilding GI. (A killer concept that's cool beyond a level)

Ending with a Carrie-esque jumpscare, The Prowler have its worth; while not the flawless example of a slasher, it shows great production value and a fun one at that. Good kills with effective intensity, an awesome murderer, a little dragging in the middle but it picks up as soon as it got the ball rolling again, this title deserves more than what it is getting (perhaps a decent remake with a better whodunnit angle?) and should be tried by all true fans of this sub-genre.

Bodycount:
1 male and 1 female skewered together with a pitchfork
1 male gets a bayonet through his head
1 female impaled with a pitchfork
1 female nearly beheaded with a bayonet
1 female gets a bayonet to the neck
1 male shot with a shotgun
1 male gets his head blown off with a shotgun
Total: 8

Chucky's Father's Brother's Cousin's Second Former Roommate: Pinocchio's Revenge (1996)

Pinocchio's Revenge (1996)

Rating: **

Starring: Rosalind Allen, Candace McKenzie, Lewis Van Bergen

I remember watching this as a a kid barely out of his toddler years via VHS and again as a preteen via cable TV. Of course, I was scared out of my wits at my first round but as I got a little older, I begin to wonder why does it take so long to get around the scary parts. Now, as I write this review, I know.

Rosalind Allen plays Jennifer Garrick, a defense attorney who's currently preventing the conviction of a man charged of multiple child murders, including that of his own son. Strangely, however, the man is more than willing to fry under the chair as he claim he did do it and, with her defenses overruled, the state had their way and executed him despite Jennifer's efforts.

So, she failed to keep a guy from dying for a crime he may or may not had committed. At least she has something to look up for once she gets home, right?

Well, it may not be as bad as getting your client to die at the hands of the government, but Jennifer's daughter Zoe has been acting up lately regarding the fact that her father ran away with a mistress, hence leading to her getting into fights in school and constantly haunted by night terrors. As Jennifer do her best to turn her daughter's life around, odd things suddenly plague their household after a missing piece of evidence suddenly appear on her work desk: a wooden puppet boy made by the executed father, supposedly for his son. Not knowing what to do with it, she kept the toy hidden but Zoe eventually finds it, mistaking it as a present and forming an obsessive bond with her new friend "Pinocchio".

Soon, accidents and deaths are abound, all of which Zoe blames on Pinocchio. Could she be right, or is there a far more sinister force at work?

I picture this as the movie Child's Play (1988) would have been if it did stay with the "did the kid did it or was it the doll?" plot. Seeing how this is made by Kevin Tenney of the solid cult classic Night of the Demons (1988), I'm a little disappointed to what I see here, however: generic plotting, badly acted characters and some of the hokiest looking practical effects I've seen that's more laughable now than frightening. The only factor that excels here is the questionable nature of the murders.

Though the bodycount is particularly low, these murder scenes are well built from the start and they do have you guessing whether the doll is committing them or not. But once we figure out in the end who's the real culprit, the movie doesn't stop making you wonder whether the rubbery looking marionette is behind it or if its presence is nothing but pure coincidence.

With much of the movie's marketing and the cheesy title itself to blame, Pinocchio's Revenge is misleading for those who were expecting a Child's Play rip-off. Sending most of its part as a thriller, the whodunit element is well done but the lack of any exciting action (horror-wise) renders the film a tad dull, if not cliched. Just trim off the nudity and you might as well have a made-for-TV popcorn flick here that's bound to scare the pants off any youngsters, or make a good timewaster before you doze off for work the next day.

We may never know what exactly is Pinocchio acting his revenge for but, as a cheesy horror thriller, it has its moments. Makes a good rental if you're up to it.

Bodycount:
1 boy seen murdered
2 children seen dead
1 male executed via electric chair
1 male had his life support turned off
1 female beaten to death with a fire poker
Total: 6