WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS BODYCOUNT. HIGH RISK OF SPOILERS. ENTER IF YOU DARE.

Thursday, March 8, 2018

Some Clownish Twat: Clown Kill (2014)

Clown Kill (United Kingdom, 2014) (AKA "Lock In")
Rating: *1/2
Starring:  Roy Basnett, Jessica Cunningham, Stephen Greenhalgh

Apparently this movie stars Jessica Cunningham, a business woman-actress-TV Personality best known for competing at the 2016 series of The Apprentice. Seeing how little interested I am with The Apprentice or reality TV in general, this information does little to affect any feelings I have for this movie. (which is mostly discontent)

Clown Kill begins with the drugging, kidnapping and raping of our protagonist Jenny (played by Miss Cunningham in her debut movie role) by a nasty clown named "Charlie Boy" during one of her night outs. We then jump forward six months after the assault, wherein Jenny is returning to work at her publicity firm after an unspecified leave and has to finish a kit for a client within fourteen hours to make up for her absence. Now stuck inside the office after hours along with other employees and staffs, what Jenny doesn't know is that Charlie Boy found out where she works and has entered the building to depopulate it until all that is left is her. For what purpose? Well, nothing short of plain torment and psychotic tendencies, of course!

And yet, Clown Kill fails to be interesting or a worthwhile viewing; it ate up about two-thirds of its entire run sluggishly building around a possible red herring with misogynistic and unreasonably violent set of characters, leaving little reason to empathize with anyone and the gruesome kills (which is the only commendable thing I can think of from this movie) are simply there for the sake of creating a kill count. The story is near nonexistent, lacking any focus or competent level of realism, with a script so innate that continuity and variation seem to be myths within its written pages, as with good lighting and sound quality in terms of production.

Nothing really appears to work for Clown Kill in all honesty, even with all the flashy editing and camera effects. Our protagonist spends half of her time limping around drugged while her co-workers get killed, the villain is a joke in not a good way (or with any puns intended), and there's a twist ending that tries to explain everything but, for me, it fails to matter at that point of the film. No matter how many times I try to re-watch this film to get a good clear look of it as a product, the overall totality is that this is just a terrible, ugly movie, even for a slasher! I say leave this sad clown to rot in obscurity and save yourself a buck or two.

Bodycount:
1 male had his throat cut with a knife
1 male electrocuted to death with a rigged joy buzzer
1 female killed, method unknown
1 male had his head bashed with a shovel
1 female seen with her mouth sewn shut and throat cut
1 female torso seen
1 male gets a pair of nails shoved into his eyes
1 male brained with a hammer
Total: 8

2 comments:

  1. I discovered this while looking up slashers and that set in office towers and similar (I for some reason just think that it's a neat setting for them).

    Dunno if I'll ever get around to it, because the twist ending was spoiled for me and I fucking hate that kind of copout conclusion.

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    1. Office slashers are an interesting bunch, to be frank. It's just sad that only a few of them work. (Redd Inc. is the best of them, if I may say so)

      The ending would have been fine, too, if the rest of the movie was any good. Hell, it worked on Slaughter High!

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