A Family that Slays Together: Seed of Chucky (2004)

Seed of Chucky (2004)
rating: ***1/2
starring: Jennifer Tilly, Brad Dourif, John Waters

There will come a time for every slasher franchise where they all just let loose and just f*ck around. Jason had his by the time he came back from the grave as a demonic worm-like thingie that makes you melt, Freddy had his during the time he had decided to kill off a 90s stoner by turning him into a video game sprite, and even Leatherface when some director decided to turn him from a menacing cannibal to an annoying, wailing transvestite with a powertool, in an attempt to reboot the franchise for The Next Generation. What these three had in common is that they just decided to dump everything we came to know and love about the killer when they first came out (as in, you know, they're scary) and just traded in something so silly and out-of-place that they're completely out of character.

Some of them did learn and went back to terrifying roots, but others found moderate success that is workable enough to try again. The latter happened to Chucky the killer doll of the Child's Play fame by the time he came back as a gothic, stitched-up freak back in the later 90s, paired up with a new and equally homicidal children's toy named Tiffany. While it was a shock for the series' fans for its sudden shift of tone, Bride of Chucky still found an open audience who loved the duo's humorously dark exploits and whenever there's love for a film, there's bound to be some sequels.

Risking to spill some beans for those who hadn't seen Bride yet, Seed of Chucky took place some time later where the last film left off, featuring a new sentient doll named Glen (previously "Shitface") who was last seen crawling its way out of Tiffany's burnt body and attacking a curious officer. We don't know what happened after that but it appears that this baby doll grew up a pacifist, abused by a rather dirty looking English fellow who's taking stand-up ventriloquist comedy as a profession. As popular as he is with the crowd, the kid can't help but think of what his parents were before they "abandoned" him but as luck has it, he soon found out from the that Chucky and Tiffany's body are now used as props for a Hollywood horror flick.

Escaping captivity, Glen found his way to Hollywood and met his parents, accidentally bringing them to life by chanting the mystic words engraved in Chucky's amulet (as seen on Bride). Although confused at first, the two pint-sized killers accepted their kid with a problem: Seeing they're parents now, Tiffany wants to give up killing (cold turkey!) for a life of luxury and parenthood. Unfortunately, Chucky is far from giving up his hobby (since it relaxes him) and he plans on raising his kid to love it as well. Things went off with a rocky start but the two found their way to help out each other at some point, (so long they don't discover each other's bloody little secrets) plotting to ditch their plastic bodies once and for all, setting their eyes on one specific star: Jennifer Tilly! (and the rapper, Redman)

Bound for blood and a lot of gross-out humor, Seed of Chucky is the strangest entry to the series, parodying reality drama, family domestics and lampooning Hollywood as the breeding ground of spoiled stereotyped actors, paparazzi scumbags and road accidents involving Britney Spears. It's no longer scary (Nor tense. Nor creepy) something not a lot of horror/slasher fanatics out there are going to swallow without a fit and yet I find the film as something I can enjoy the moment I switch my mind off and just swim with the cheese.

Seed is technically a splatstick comedy where fresh, dismembered body parts and jet-spewing blood is the punch line in every joke. Incidentally, Seed showcased the series' most gruesome collection of deaths including a nasty acid burn and one mean family massacre, straying far from the subtle yet creepy deaths the first three of the series had. Apart from this, the film also tapped into being a comedy of drawn-out proportions as everything that's happening around the dolls are just plain nuts (and we slasher fans have a high tolerance for nuts!); for one, the subplot of Tilly trying to seduce rapper (turned director?!) Redman into getting the role of the Virgin Mary of his religious holiday epic is downright laughable, but with Tiffany's struggle to leave out killing for a better life through self-help guides and Glen trying to figure out if he's a boy or a girl, Seeds' sense of humor could have been a movie on its own.

The Murder's always mutual~

Still, horror hasn't fully escaped this film; the gruesome opening murders had staple enough slasher tropes including POV shot of the killer and an intense stalk-and-kill, and the fact that the killer doll duo is still out doing what they do best is still pretty upsetting for the weak of stomach. Honestly, so long as the film is gory, intriguing and entertaining, I can overlook any lost of dread in a horror franchise.

Sadly, not all fans are gonna agree with me with this, and I can understand; the jokes are hit-and-miss and will depend on the viewer's taste. Not all can be a fan of parodying home domestics and homosexual urges, nor will they be as accepting to see their favorite star killer devolve from a creepy, sentient murdering stalker doll, into a family man who's this ready to just give up being human to be the most notorious slasher in history! (cue lightning) For some, to see Chucky trying to be a "good" daddy to his gender-confused (or as he takes it, "multi-talented") kid would be to see him in his lowest (that, or him masturbating into a cup after reading Fangoria), but in the end, just as Bride of Chucky, it's all about seeing horror's biggest killer doll in his reign, offing people.

The film looks polished, slick and the animatronics are as superb as ever; I really do love the fact that the casts are poking fun at themselves, showing a bit of agreeable humor to how silly Hollywood life can be. Don Mancini has his directorial debut in this entry after years of writing for Child's Play movies which was fun to see what kind of skill he has backstage. (and also might explain Glen (or Glenda's) gender identity crisis sub-plot)

May you be a fan of the series, or slashers in general, Seed of Chucky is at least a worthy ride either for keeps or rents. For those who're disappointed to see Chuck going beyond stalking an innocent kid in a mean-spirited manner, just think of this as the franchise's way to broaden up their approach. I mean Chucky was chasing the same kid for three movies...

Bodycount:

1 male stabbed on the chest with kitchen knife, falls off a floor (dream)

1 female slips and hits her head on tile flooring (dream)

1 male decapitated with thin wire

1 female immolated in car crash

1 male had a bottle of acid broke over his head, face melted

1 male gutted with kitchen knife (while eating!)

1 female set ablaze with enflamed hairspray
1 male found hacked on the head with machete
1 male found smothered in plastic bagging
1 male found dead
1 male thrown knife to the chest
1 female bludgeoned to death with doll
total: 12

And no Shining tagline, Chucky? Man, you are losing it!

Barbie, Eat Your Heart Out: Bride of Chucky (1998)

Bride of Chucky (1998)
Rating: ***1/2
Starring: Jennifer Tilly, Brad Dourif, Katherine Heigl

Okay, now. How on earth are we going to follow-up a movie about a killer doll who, last time we've seen, ended up in bite-sized pieces through a fun park turbine? Especially in the decade when Scream labored itself into influencing meta-humor to nearly loads of imitators? Easy, drop the horror and embrace the humor! Hurray?

Maybe.

After retrieving his pieces from a police evidence locker, moonlighting serial killer-slash-goth chick Tiffany brings slasher doll Chucky back to life (through a Voodoo for Dummies book, no less) in hopes of rekindling her relationship with her now pint-sized boyfriend. Been wondering what took her so long, though...

Chucky, however, reveals to Tif that he held no true commitment, saddening her into locking him up in a baby's crib until she figures out what to do with him. All the while, we have a pair of star-struck lovers, Jesse and Jade, trying to find a way to be together without having the girl's oppressive police father and his cohorts coming between them.

Sometime after his revival, Chucky finally breaks out and got even with his lover by murdering and transferring her soul to a doll she bought for him as a joke. Now a reanimated doll herself, Tifanny has no choice but to help Chucky get to an amulet he wore during the night he got killed (I'm sure he wasn't, but for the sake of this story, I'll just pretend he did) in order for him to transfer their souls to fresh human bodies. And just so in luck, Tiffany's neighbor with one of the runaway teen lovers and by using her charm and wit, she have Jesse deliver them to the town where Chucky's real body is buried ala road trip, with the promise of a big pay. Seeing this as a way to finally escape those who're against them, Jesse musters the strength to take Jade away with him and marry her. Things definitely go for worse for them, however, as Chucky and Tiffany's impulsive killing spree leaves a trail of bizarre accidents and deaths wherever they go, and the teens are in it for the blame!

Before I go further, let me be brutally honest here; I don't mind the sudden shift of tone. This appear to be the common complain every fan of the series point out and I understand as the first trilogy definitely played itself out as a serious horror and all. Still, I can't help but loving this change. I have a very distinct taste for comedy and I usually don't mind some films trading horror for that so long as it works. Bride of Chucky tries this and ends up as a screwball, road movie comedy with a Bonnie and Clyde like situation, parodying romantic chick flicks with witty references to other movies, may it be horror or not (but mostly horror), and still delivering the grue.

In fact, it all eventually leads down to just enjoying Chucky do what he does best, only this time he comes with a partner or, rather, soon to be wife. Since Chuck's the main star of this movie, Bride toys around with his personality and see what they can do if they put him in a situation we normally don't see a slasher get in. For this case, being with an equally homicidal and yet sweet slasherette who's reduced to the same dolled-up plastic situation as he is right now. The interactions were rather amusing as the two are completely in contrast with each other in terms of maniacal style and yet they managed to do their murdering gigs in tandem. Plus doll sex. Clearly, that is a first! Brad Dourif reprises his role as Chucky and with Jennifer Tilly doing an outstanding job acting and voicing her character, Tiffany, the duo is definitely one of the best slasher pair (if not the first) to be ever conceived.

The rest of the cast were pretty likable, if not too shallow. Jesse and Jade (Nick Stabile and Katherine Heigl respectively) are easy to relate to, though it is noticeable that not much casts were thrown in to divert our attention from them, or our killer dolls. These two "side leads" show Bride of Chucky's own brand of utilizing teen TV stars as lead roles, only unlike most other dead teen flick that came prior to Bride's release, the multitude of victims here were more of random bypassers and cohorts that just in the way, dying in ways bloodier and gorier than your average 90s slasher. It's a blessing and another good reason to actually like Bride of Chucky, as our star killers got more creative with their murders. (One of which is a nod to a certain cenobite that we all know and love)

Though not entirely perfect, Bride's a welcome game changer for our diminutive slasher as he stepped into the new age. Yes, there are times when the jokes fall flat,and, yes, I am aware this makes Chucky less threatening and more humorous (despite the updated gothic Frankenstein look), but as long as blood flows the right way and the wit and nods are fresh enough to outlook any flaws, then make mine Bride of Chucky!

Bodycount:
1 male had his throat cut with kitchen knife
1 male smothered with pillow
1 female electrocuted in a bathtub with a live TV
1 male gets flying nails to the face, later knifed to death
1 male immolated in car explosion
1 male and 1 female impaled and dismembered by falling mirror shards
1 male ran over by truck
1 male and 1 female seen shot on the head
1 male shot on the head
1 male mauled (?)
Total: 12

Looks like a few guys had gone sloppy...

Mackie's Back in Town!: Lesson of the Evil (2012)

Lesson of the Evil (Aku no kyôten) (Japan, 2012)
Rating: ***1/2
Starring: Takayuki Yamada, Hideaki Itô, Howard Harris

Ah, Takashi Miike. Yes, the man responsible for the psycho-thriller Audition, the violent Yakuza film Ichi The Killer (which I personally find overrated and boring. Sorry, fans) and at least half a dozen surreal "mind fuck" films that I've yet to understand. (Visitor Q? What are you?) He's in and out within the horror business, making movies of varying genre such as live action film adaptations of the popular Ace Attorney: Phoenix Wright games and even lighthearted kiddie flicks such as The Great Yokai War, so it's a bit impressive seeing him back tackling the slasher category this time with much guts and mayhem possible.

Mr. Hasumi is a well respected teacher working in Shinko Academy; good-looking, well built, calm, sincere, he's loved by both students and most of his colleagues. But what they didn't know is that Hasumi is a terrible sociopath and he has a nasty habit of killing people wherever he goes, simply setting them all up as suicides or strange disappearance.

He'd done this plenty of times from other schools and now he's preparing to do the same for his current class. But when some people begins to get too close on uncovering his secrets, Hasumi quickly devises a plot to cover up his tracks and, at the same time, fulfill his sick fantasy of murder and mayhem, all of this involving an upcoming school day festival and his own class.

With a running time of two hours and so, Lesson of The Evil is a slow-burn thriller that keeps its pace and tone fresh until the randomly brutal climax, showcasing the life of a man who feels nothing other than the need to kill. What I find disturbingly effective here is how well the film traversed the double life our leading psycho have, an interesting showcase of what could be hiding behind every perfect man's smile. At school, Hasumi is well-dressed and poised, full of energy and concern, but behind this façade is a hateful person who prefers living in an old runny shack where he also hides away the bodies of those he killed. He has a deep fascination with the song Mack the Knife (including its original Moritat version) and the Norse legend of Huginn and Muninn, two ravens he believes to be watching his every move. There are moments where we watch him trying to explore his own fascinations and needs, seeing if he would react or understand something so mundane like any normal person would, such as blackmailing people and starting illegal relationships with his students, but all of this seems to show him very little interest, which makes the character so uneasy and effectively creepy.

And though it's not new to see psychos doing their best to be presentable in front of a huge crowd before letting their inner animal to hunt down victims at night (oh, the countless slashers and thrillers modeled after Norman Bates!), Lesson's sheer focus on its star killer's life, provided with flashbacks, a bit of his own narrations and even his dreams, pushed the bar to an unpredictable angle as none of these details seem to match up to why he's acting, thinking and feeling this way. With the only suggestion that he does these horrors because he "can" puts more shock value to the climatic rampage he'll have at the film's last running half hour or so.

Relentlessly, all I could say about said climax is that it's bound to scar some minds, especially those who are very sensitive regarding topics of school shootings. Armed with a rifle and a box-full of shells, there's something rather distraught watching our main man gun down every student he can find. He did this with no witty one-liners, no mad ramblings, all shown in unflinching close-up of heads and chests being shot open; it's depressing and maddening, and yet it's hard to turn away from it as you stare in disbelief with the untamed violence onscreen. There's actually a few killings prior to this massacre but they were tame if not obscured by comparison. There wasn't any clear indication that the film will lead up to this, so the random suggestion to just kill off these kids, add in the brutally bloody special effects here, made this the infamous highlight of the film.

Being a character driven story, I have to give Hideaki Itô a big hand for an outstanding performance as both a charming teacher and a heartless psychopath. Not much can be said for most of the remaining cast, although I do give them highlights since they act their part with most realism. (hence making the latter shootout so hard to watch) When it comes to the direction,Takashi Miike certainly shows that he still have some magic left when it comes to straight-forward horror, managing to shock, disturb and intrigue us. My only concern about this film is the running time, which lengthens the film to an extent that it tests our patience and stomach for unrelenting brutality and playing along with a two-faced villain. Not everyone's going to enjoy this as the violence can get repetitive and shallow, with zero chances for these students to actually fight back. (Though, I do see one or two opportunities for them to gang up and beat Hasumi down with his own gun, but that's one reason why this film is labeled as a "slasher" by some. Me included) Anybody who is hoping for a deeper meaning to this movie may not find what they are looking for, as this is certainly as close as Japan can do for a big-budgeted slasher.

Lesson of the Evil is a slick, bloody, tremendously bodycount heavy campus slasher that definitely divides attention and taste. If brutal school violence is what you're looking for, then so long as you don't bitch out about it and just say to yourself whenever you're gonna faint it's just a movie, then trail out this mean mother and see what Miike have been up to lately. Those who're easily offended by blood, violence and lengthy horror flicks, then look elsewhere. Except India.

Bodycount:
1 male caught on house fire, burned to death
1 male and 1 female stabbed to death with hunting knife (flashback)
1 male hanged with a bag handle
1 male stabbed on the neck with soldering iron
1 male set ablaze (flashback)
1 male seen shot on the mouth (flashback)
1 female had her neck broken
1 male shot with a shotgun
1 male shot on the face with a shotgun
1female shot with a shotgun
1 male shot with a shotgun
1 male shot with a shotgun
1 male shot with a shotgun
1 male shot with a shotgun
1 male shot with a shotgun
1 male shot with a shotgun
1 male shot with a shotgun
1 female shot with a shotgun
1 female shot with a shotgun
1 male shot with a shotgun
1 male shot with a shotgun
1 male shot with a shotgun
1 female shot with a shotgun
1 female shot with a shotgun
1 victim shot with a shotgun
1 female thrown off the floor
1 victim shot with a shotgun
1 female shot with a shotgun
1 female shot on the head with a shotgun
1 female shot with a shotgun
1 female shot with a shotgun
1 male shot with a shotgun
1 female shot with a shotgun
1 male shot with a shotgun
1 female shot with a shotgun
1 female shot with a shotgun
1 male shot with a shotgun
1 female shot with a shotgun
1 female shot with a shotgun
1 male shot with a shotgun
1 male shot with a shotgun
1 male shot with a shotgun
1 male shot with a shotgun
1 female found dead with wrist cut
1 male shot with a shotgun, knifed to the neck
1 male choked on hand towel, shot to the mouth with a shotgun
Total: 47

Wish it was Witchcraft: I've Been Waiting For You (1998)

I've Been Waiting for You (1998)

Rating: **

Starring: Sarah Chalke, Soleil Moon Frye, Ben Foster

Oho! Well now, this is certainly something I hadn't seen for a long while now; I caught a gander of this title when I was about six, through a VHS tape that my dad rented. Didn't care quite about it much since I understood very little of what's going on (too much talking and very little blood makes lil' Paul bored and play with his toy robots instead~), but after finding this roaming around as a rental in one of my local video retailers, I decided to see if maybe I'll get it now. The good news is I did, but it also help me realize that I should just have left this movie alone.

First, the story; new kid Sarah arrives in a small sleepy town where, three hundred years ago, Sarah Lancaster, a witch, was once burned at the stake and swore to kill the descendants of those responsible. What does this has anything to do with Sarah, you ask? Well, apart from sharing the first name of the accused witch, but the house she moved in to just happens to be the one once owned by Lancaster. Because of this, a group of popular kids (who are all the teenage descendants of those Lancaster cursed) looks down on Sarah, but one of them gives her a chance to hang out if she agrees to play along with a gag; at a costume party, Sarah has to pretend to be a psychic, giving information to her customers, fed to her by two of the cliques in secret via microphone.

All was going according to plan until someone begins giving Sarah disturbing facts about the rest of the popular kids. Inevitably, they're disturbed and outraged, with one of them leaving the party in complete distraught only to be attacked by a hooded, masked figure with a pair of extractable metal claws (Like Wolverine from The X-Men) and dying in fright.

The news of this death soon becomes the talk of the school and Sarah is suspected to have hexed the victim. However, with no clear evidence of the girl's involvement with the murder, the rest of the popular kids try their best to prove Sarah is a witch without losing their cool or their sanity. Unfortunately, with strange accidents afoot and constant attacks from the mysterious hooded killer targeting them, it isn't too long before they're forced to take drastic measures to end this.

Being released as a TV flick, I've Been Waiting for You is a tame comparison to the rest of the late 90s dead teenager movies after Wes Craven's Scream. Made with zero gore, little sense of dread and a very minuscule bodycount, the film hardly stands up as a workable horror film, nor as a thrilling whodunit as none of these kids hardly felt like they're in danger. Yes, we do have a killer running around with a metal claw, but more or less, these stalkings never seem to build along with the story as they're kept pretty short and random, plus this fella was never intimidating to look at to begin with and they only made one successful kill and it barely shed any blood at all!

Any sense of mystery is weak and remains unengaged since none of the victims were worth the trouble. It really felt like these guys would do more damage to themselves and each other, rather than some random serial-killer wannabe with a working Wolverine prop. The plot even tried to put some sense of supernatural to it due to the success The Craft (1996) made a few years back, but it's made way too obvious that we have a human culprit working behind the mask. A twist in the end suggests otherwise, however, but it's no more than a weak attempt to shock us with a reveal we never expected. Sure got me, but after all that runabout that eventually lead to nothing, I never cared much about it.

Overall, I've Been Waiting for You looks more like the kind of horror film that could scare the jeebies out of anyone below 13 yrs. (But with this day and age, I'm not so dang sure about the credibility of that claim) It's cheesy, it's dry and it awfully hollow, anybody with the right sense of mind would clearly agree that this has to be one of the duller attempts to feed off from big cash cows hypes of that decade. If you're easily scared of your own shadows, or at least would like to feel smarter than everybody else for once, then hear this movie call out and say I've Been Waiting for you...

Bodycount:
1 female burned to death (flashback)
1 female frightened to death
Total: 32

The Seed of Bloodshed: Night of The Scarecrow (1995)

Night of the Scarecrow (1995)
rating: ***
starring: Elizabeth Barondes, John Mese, Stephen Root

Not to be confused with the 70s TV slasher Dark Night of the Scarecrow, this long forgotten obscurity features the spirit of a century old warlock, who once made a bargain with a small town to bless them with healthy crops in exchange for holding orgies, coming back from the grave after his tomb was disturb, with vengeance in his mind to the descendants of the ones responsible on killing him, and too some random locals that he can grab hold to!)

In his way is the town mayor's estranged daughter Claire, who began to notice these mysterious deaths and later discovers the town's little secrets, and too one possible way to stop the maniacal husk-man...

A directorial feature coming from Jeff Burr, the man who brought you sequel films like The Stepfather 2, Pumpkinhead 2: Blood Wings, and Full Moon's Puppet Master 4 and 5, Night of the Scarecrow is as basic as any killer-driven horror film there is, focusing on the vengeful exploits of the monster while his intended targets try their best to understand what's going on and not die. (most of them failed to do the latter)

to It's not a bad effort to begin with, just that it's something we'd seen a lot before. More or less, if you'd seen Freddy Krueger came back from the grave more than one time, plotting vengeance to those who put him off his game in one grisly way to die to the next, then expect the same storyline from one of those sequels in this one, only less cheesy one-liners and more harvest related kills.

Acting around this movie is pretty fair with the list of rather familiar casts; We got 2001: A Space Oddesy's Gary Lockwood as the town mayor, Chinatown (1974)'s Bruce Glover as a priest who knows a lot of the town's secrets and even Dirk Blocker of Poltergeist as an ill-fated farmer. Standing in as our lead heroine is one TV star Elizabeth Barondes, who some of you may remember was Lucy Lane in the Lois and Clark TV series back in the 90s, based on the DC hero Superman. Not much to argue on her part, she did a pretty swell job as an amalgam of a tough, butt-kicker and a next door sweetheart kind of girl. The only thing that got me thinking is that she seems to digested the idea of a killer scarecrow quite easily without much skepticism. I mean, sure one guy got half of his body eaten by a corn thresher, another were torn to pieces and one girl just disappeared under the earth, but couldn't all this be the work of just a simple madman? As in "flesh and blood with no supernatural powers" kind of madman? I guess seeing a pastor with his mouth sewn shut with vines was enough proof of an evil scarecrow warlock rampaging the town. Or is it? Eitherways, the movie is quick in pacing, the characters were hardly unlikable (they're just simply..."there"), and the gory killings were fun, so I think I can overlook this or any other small flaws.

Being released a year before Scream hits the big screen and re-introduced slashers with teen TV stars as victims, and too the fact that it's a direct-to-video feature, Night of the Scarecrow becomes an obscure late 90s slash-fest that really deserves a good viewing. Not that it did anything a supernatural slasher flick hadn't done yet, but as familiarity is concerned, it's a good film that goes great with freshly popped popcorn and a cold fizzy soda in a lazy weekend night. Worth a catch.

Bodycount:
1 male shredded by corn thresher
1 female had vines broke out of her body, buried alive
1 male killed offscreen, mentioned torn to pieces
1 male crucified and left for dead (flashback)
1 male pinned to the wall with swords, had husks broke out of his body
1 female found stabbed on the face with knitting needles
1 male killed, method not seen
1 male hacked with sickle
1 male slashed open with sickle
1 male gets stabbed on the face with supernaturally blown needles
total: 10

The Animals Will Hunt: You're Next (2011)

You're Next (2011)
Rating: ****
Starring: Sharni Vinson, Joe Swanberg, AJ Bowen

There's hype. And then there's Hype!

Starting out as a 2011 film festival entry before getting released theatrically a year or two later, You're Next (2011) sees itself as a gritty and sleek patchwork of home invasion horrors and slasher savagery; a praise-worthy popcorn muncher balancing dark humor and bloody siege attacks, punctuated with a badass final girl action that truly delivers.

I see you...

The scene starts off with a love-making couple getting murdered as soon as they finish by who appears to be a machete-wielding maniac. We then cut to one Crispian Davidson taking his new girlfriend Erin to meet his loaded yet highly dysfunctional family at a getaway country mansion where his parents are celebrating their wedding anniversary. Things are tense and jittery all through the morning with bad blood getting between brothers, Erin trying to fit in with her boyfriend's family (she is an Australian in a house full of Americans), and weird noises coming from upstairs freaking mum out. But as far family matters go, this is nothing compared to the shitstorm that's about to happen.

Once they settle in for the big dinner, a trio of masked intruders, armed to the teeth and hellbent on murder, simply show up and begin killing them one by one in a seemingly meaningless slaughter. But what these killers didn't know is that one of their intended targets has a secret of her own. Something that would actually put a deadly turn against them...

I have to give a big thumbs up for Adam Wingard, the director and editor behind this flick; the last works I've seen from him were his first feature, the splat-tastic yet flawed slasher flick Home Sick (2007) featuring Bill Moseley, and the strangely hypnotic serial killer thriller A Horrible Way to Die (2010). You're Next (2011) may not raise the bar any higher in terms of story as its really nothing more than just a slasher-fied home invasion thriller done dozens of times before with the likes of movies such as 2007's French Extreme Inside or even Spain's 2010 release Kidnapped (more or less the latter), but what the film did right is that it knows how to keep the ball rolling once shit finally hits the fan and doesn't let up on the bloodwork all the way.

Some witty script and stylized camera work improve the entertainment value of the movie, making the characters and the situation they're in a twistedly engaging spectacle. From time to time, the film shifts tones from seriously traumatizing to sly and cynical, toying with our heads to where exactly this story is going. Eventually, we get enough curveball turns to get us diving into new suspects, unexpected developments and, yes, more bodycount.

What's more refreshing here is the characterization of this film's obvious final girl; undergoing a survivalist camp by a paranoid father back in Australia, Sharni Vinson plays Erin as a quick thinking and really hardcore gal that isn't afraid to shed some blood to protect herself and what remains of her boyfriend's family. While majority of the cast got killed off screaming and panicking, she's there to be graceful under pressure, setting up traps to disarm, distract and destroy!

The villains themselves are also really cool and intimidating with their black squad gear and merciless determination to simply kill everyone they can catch. (Which apparently includes Ti West as one of the brothers. That'll teach you to waste our time with that "short film" Miscarriage in ABCs of Death! (2013)) Who they are and why they're doing this call for spoilers, but for most of the running time onscreen, their bloody handiwork are as fine as the creepy animal masks they're wearing.

Wolf Mask is good at what he do. And You're Next!

You're Next (2011) is perhaps the next best thing there is in profiling home invasion horror flicks. Yes it is clichéd and lacking any real story apart from murder, mayhem and masquerades (both literal and figuratively), but for the right audience and for the right time, it's definitely a worthwhile slaughter flick for fans alike to enjoy.

 

Bodycount:
1 female found slaughtered
1 male hacked on the head with a machete
1 male shot through the head with a crossbow
1 female ran through piano wire, throat cut
1 female hacked on the head with a machete
1 female struck on the temple with an axe
1 male had his head beaten to a pulp with a meat hammer
1 male had his throat cut with a machete
1 male stabbed to death with screwdrivers
1 male stabbed on the head with a screwdriver
1 male gets his head pulped with a wooden log
1 male gets a live, glass-broken blender to the head, shredded
1 female knifed on the head
1 male stabbed on the neck and eye with a knife
1 male hacked on the face with a falling axe
Total: 15

images (c) Google

I Know What You Did A Few years Ago In India: Kucch To Hai (2003)

Kucch To Hai (India, 2003)
rating: **
starring: Ashay Chitre, Esha Deol, Anita Hassandani                                                  

As far as I can tell, when watching a Bollywood horror, one should expect cheese, shot-by-shot ripping, lengthy running times and countless musical numbers. (and I mean Countless musical numbers) I already have my share of Indian shot horror flicks including the infamous Indian "remake" of A Nightmare on Elm Street known as Mahakaal (1990), the not-so-remake-but-otherwise-ripped-off A Nightmare on Elm Street rendition known as Khooni Murda (1989), as well as the mildly entertaining but awfully cheap Jeepers Creepers 2/Tremors hybrid Kaalo (2010). (The latter being my first Bollywoods slasher and incidentally the only one I've seen so far that didn't include a musical number)

Now, as you read this review, I'm about to take a dip into that cheese again. This time, I Know What You Did Last Summer style with a dash of bad romantic teen comedy!

Told as a flashback by two ex-lovers while on board to New Delhi, it was the time of  blossoming romance as these two recall their last years as carefree and partying students. Karan was smitten by the new freshman Tanya and was trying his best to win her heart by doing lots of cheesy romance clichés as possible in traditional Bollywood manner. (Meaning lots of dance montages from these two or just one of them being lovey-dovey. Bleh)

It takes around an hour before we get our first horror scene, involving a random geek being stalked in a very empty dorm (thanks to everyone attending a 70s-themed prom that night) and ends up murdered by a cool looking hoodie killer with a sharp kukri. (or curved machete in laymen's terms) But being a random character, this guy's death was dismissed as suicide and it wasn't until a half hour or so before we finally get a real plot development, wherein Tanya was caught cheating on her exam and gets dismissed from the test.

Hoping to impress her, Karan devised a plan with their friends to steal Tanya's papers that night and forge a passing grade. Things went from bad to worse fast when Bakshi, the professor keeping the tests and a suspected killer, caught them breaking into his home and pursued them to the point they actually discover the professor's dead wife. Frightened, the group made a run for their jeep and accidentally hit their professor; kids began shouting, random dude comes and accuses them of doing something illegal (but leaves anyways) and it turns out that Bakshi wasn't really dead but wounded enough to stagger and fall into a nearby cliff. Clearly, if you have seen I know what you did Last Summer as much as any veteran slasher fan does, you know where this is going...

Fast forward to three years later, after Tanya and Karan ended their relationship, Karan is now engaged to his childhood friend Natasha and called in their friends to a remote snowy inn to celebrate. However, it appears that someone donning the same hoodie coat professor Bakshi was wearing have plans to murder them one by one. Could it be that Bakshi survived his fall and is now hellbent on revenge? Or is there somebody else involved in this killing spree?

Not much to say with this one save that I believe the only group of people who can really appreciate this movie is those who live for the cheese and only cheese. The acting is weak in general and I find it hard relating to anyone here; if it's anything, it's normally this kind of weak acting that can be made up with some excellent kills but even that hardly made a dent since the murders were barely bloody, miniscule in count and obscured by cheap quick-cuts. Add a colossal amount of false scares and padding, and all sense of decency as a slasher film were flushed down the toilet.

To be fair, the film has an impressive looking production from big-budget looking set-pieces to well-made cinematography. Some horror scenes did stood up, especially the incredibly tense aforementioned first murder and one cheesy scene involving the killer burying themselves under the thick snow and unearthing to get a close kill. ( How they figured out that the victim will stagger precisely on that location beforehand, or the fact that they actually survived that long while wearing a parka hood-full of snow over their face without freezing to death is beyond me), but apart from that everything else was forgettable.

Horror isn't really this movie's strong point, not with all the dancing, singing and corny love montages, but at least its interesting enough to keep me watching for nearly 3 hours, despite already knowing some of the twists and turns. Nothing else noteworthy here but if you love corny romance stories with a fair amount of scares (not to mention patience), then this Bollywood rip is yours to find. Also, it would probably help if you hadn't seen IKWYDLS or Urban Legend yet, but that would really question your credibility as a horror fan and your place in this blog...

(Shame on you!)

Bodycount:
1 female found murdered (dream)
1 male garroted and hanged on thin wire
1 female body found
1 male slashed on the neck with a kukri
1 female killed with a kukri, later found hanged
1 male stabbed on the gut with a kukri
1 female falls off a cliff
total: 7