Rating: *1/2
Starring: Shelly Martinez, Naomi Cruz, Diana Prince
For the first three to five minutes, we get this:
My initial thoughts? Dayum, those are some big Danny DeVitos! But after drying up and getting ready to perform for what appears to be a film shooting, this lady soon gets smothered to death by someone wielding a dangerous pair of pantyhose. My initial thought for that? We're in for a long night.


Still, what it does for the horror part of the movie is sort of acceptable. (Read, Sort of!) The kills have their little bright red moments and by that I meant we only get to see a moment of blood and gore before we're thrown back in to watch more horribly acted soft core which, then again, isn't all that surprising to begin with seeing the production is as good as purchasing the world's smallest violin. The villain looks hilariously bad and he's as intimidating as someone wearing a dirty jockstrap over his face- ohwaitaminute.
Perhaps I'm getting a tad uppity myself here since, after all, this is again a movie titled Porn Shoot Massacre. I'm not gonna get anything like Life of Pi in this exploitative garbage that I'm positive was aimed for the male percentage of slasher fanatics; it's cheesy and oddly cheerful atmosphere may be the best reason for some people to see this movie but, for me, I think I'll prefer my porn and horror flicks separate. Or at least as fun as Black Devil Doll (2007). If only the geniuses behind this wreckage tried harder...
Bodycount:
1 female smothered to death with stockings
1 male killed, found with throat cut
1 female hacked to death with a hatchet, beheaded
1 female pounded to death
1 female knifed on the back
1 female beaten with a sledge hammer, disemboweled with a knife
1 male mentioned murdered
1 male had is head crushed until his eye popped out
2 males had their necks broken
1 male killed, blood splash seen
1 male had his neck cut with a knife
1 male shot, beaten to death with a wooden plank
Total: 13
Haha, I think your label "bottomless bottom of shame" probably sums this one up nicely. I can't believe you actually had the guts to give it a chance!
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't guts. It was pure dumb luck and no knowledge of what I was getting into...
DeleteAnd I regret every moment of it!