Random Art Post: Today I Love...

Guardians of The Galaxy. (Especially Rocket Raccoon)

Is it Blasphemy to say I think this movie is SUPERIOR to The Avengers? Well, maybe. I'll probably get stoned for saying that but meh, I LOVE this movie! Best Marvel Movie Since the first The Amazing Spiderman!

Art (c) Mine. No Stealy Please!

O.D. phone home: Brain Damage (1988)

Brain Damage (1988)
Rating: ****1/2
Starring: Rick Hearst, Gordon MacDonald, Jennifer Lowry

Are we to consider a movie revolving around an alien brain-eater that looks like a talking turd a slasher? Well, even in my book I'm questioning the credibility of this film to be reviewed here but nevertheless, said alien is sentient enough to know what he is doing and that's a fitting factor to a classic horror killer so, what the heck!? Least the little guy knows how to give us a splashing good time!

Written and directed by the obscure body horror aficionado Frank Henenlotter (of the Basket Case trilogy), Brain Damage starts inside a New York apartment where a middle age couple gleefully prepares some fresh animal brains for someone-or something- named Aylmer. However, they discover that whatever's supposed to be feeding on these brains has escaped their apartment, putting the couple on a storm of a fit, thrashing their place as they search for it.

One floor below them lies Brian, a young man who just recently let go of his date since he's feeling a little under the weather. By the time he is all alone in his apartment, he suddenly goes through an acid trip that sort of improved his condition and soon discovers that Aylmer, a smooth talking, John Zacherle-voiced alien slug, has chosen as his new companion and injected him on the nape with a highly-addictive blue juice that heightened Brian's senses. Now hooked on the juice, Brian willingly lets Aylmer hang around and inject his strange liquid again before storming out into the streets, experiencing his own personal the light and sound show.

But all is not without its price; Aylmer eats brains to survive and the fresher it is, the better. And with Brian's addiction for the juice taking over his life, he now has no choice but to provide this alien his much preferred food source in exchange for a fix.

Not much of a slasher channeling the likes of Friday the 13th (1980) or Halloween (1978), Brain Damage is a horror film morality tale showing the dangers of drug use and addiction. Aylmer's first conversation with Brian hints this theme pretty early as the slug's inviting voice and promises of a worry-free life without any form of drawback sounded too good to be true, and this further escalates to a full parallel when Brian tries to withdraw from the juice, only for him to end up so distressed and twitchy that he started to see things and grows weak, physically, mentally and emotionally. It's really uneasy and the comparison works so well, something I find very impressive coming from a B-Flick.

On that note, the great thing about this film is that it is not that preachy with the subject and it doesn't forget that it is still a cheesy horror movie; gore is delightfully red in true Henenlotter fashion, mixed in with a good amount of weirdness and sexual undertones like that one phallic kill that becomes so memorable for its unusual and unexpected nature. The city is yet again shown to be the perfect backdrop for a plot revolving around unhealthy addiction, a similar taste done for the first Basket Case film and his horror-comedy Frankenhooker. Acting is variable, which is uncommon for low budget films like this but Rick Hearst certainly did well on portraying our troubled addict, showing a range of emotions and acting from the silliest to the deeply unsettling. Of course, there's also the movie's main attraction, Aylmer, portrayed as an animatronic puppet with an impressive design and mechanism with Zacherle's voice acting that gave this creature the life and (infamous) fame he is known for around the hardcore horror community, a quite likable character of flair despite the threat that he poses once we accept his little offer.

Perhaps the director's best horror movie by my experience and enjoyment, coming from the fact that with so little budget, he managed to pull off something this weird yet complexly deep, Brain Damage is a must see and own for not only slasher addicts who are open to accept the more curious types of maniacs out there, but also horror fanatics in general. Nothing does a good scare and a few laughs than this 80s gem, especially if you're the clean type!

Bodycount:
1 male had his brains eaten by an alien slug
1 female had her brains eaten from her mouth by an alien slug
1 male had his brains eaten by an alien slug
1 female had her brains eaten from her mouth by an alien slug
1 female had her brains eaten by an alien slug
1 male dies from his head wound
1 alien slug crushed to death
1 male shot on the head
Total: 8

A man with a Wicker Basket. Seems familiar?

Beware The Clowns: The Camp Blood Trilogy Review

Camp Blood (1999)

Rating: **

Starring:  Jennifer Ritchkoff, Michael Taylor, Tim Young

No, we are not gonna talk about Friday the 13th's Camp Crystal Lake's nickname here. Instead, we're gonna look into another killer-in-the-woods type with a low budget, bad acting and a murderer in a suit that really stands out from a backwoods slasher. Seriously, why the heck is he wearing a clown mask? That ain't outdoors-esque!

Well, whatever gimmick this maniac have in mind, it's sure worked enough to gain campfire boogeyman status as four campers and their butch lesbian guide gets a fair warning from a doomsayer they meet along the way, claiming the "legendary" killer clown is real. Right, we've been down this road for a couple of times so it's no shock that one of their friends is later found cooked in their bonfire the next morning. How nobody noticed the smell of burnt meat is beyond me but no sooner after they decided to book it for dear life, the infamous clown arrives to make butcheries out of them.

Camp Blood could work as a cheesy fondue of everything you know about slashers (mostly the backwoods type like the obvious inspiration, Friday the 13th) without making much of an effort. The acting is horrible for everybody and the camerawork is amateur at its near fullest, this title might come off as insulting for many (and I completely understand them) but any pros to come out of this mess would be the even pacing and the nostalgia-inducing low quality doing probable goods for the right audience, perhaps with a  "so-bad-it's effin-hilarious" charm.

Though I'm no fan of the film, I do come to appreciate the movie's attempts to be a simple and fun slasher made to entertain trashy folks. Obviously not for just anyone so watch at your own risk!

Bodycount:
1 male ran through the chest with a machete
1 female hacked to death with a machete
1 male beheaded with a machete
1 male slaughtered with a machete offscreen
1 male had his shoulder chopped with a machete (flashback)
1 female slashed with a machete (flashback)
1 male hacked on the head with a machete
1 female stabbed on the gut with a hunting knife
1 male had his neck broken
1 male hacked to death with a machete
1 female ran over by a car

Total: 11

Camp Blood 2 (2000)

Rating: **

Starring: Jennifer Ritchkoff, Garrett Clancy, Missy Rae Hansen

Following up from the unfortunate events of the previous installment, fate of our lone survivor now hangs on her retracing everything that happened prior so she can prove herself completely sane and wasn't responsible for the death of nine victims. All the while, she shares these events with a low-budget director who's planning on doing a movie based on the killings, with a gimmick on using the possible murder suspect as a guide of sorts to make sure this film is as accurate as possible. What they didn't expect is that the clown, or someone donning as the clown, has returned to do more killings, targeting staffs and actors alike.

No means any better but I do saw some improvements; for starters, the story has a nice touch of complexity, straying a bit away from the bare-bone "kids go to the woods then die" set-up to create at least some depth and situation for some of its characters. Of course, this being a cheap direct-to-video concoction, the rest of the casts are one-dimensional, simply there to be meat, and the plot is tainted with enough hamminess and holes to start someone's boiling point.

Still, I could give further points up from the fact that this sequel feels like a parody of low-budget production, stabbing at the cliches, troubles and joys of making a home-made horror film. It's this take on the plot that got me following, but not entirely enjoying, this franchise, hoping to see further improvements in each film.

Gore-wise, Camp Blood 2 didn't shy away from the machete kills and it is bloodier in comparison. The killer still dons the cheap black gear and mask combo, though the clown mold is noticeably different. (Not that it matters anyway) Apart from these pros, there's nothing else to say for the rest except that it's pretty much your average garden-grown SOV horror.

Still lacking any real sense of dread but fluidly paced, Camp Blood 2 is a sequel nobody asked for but exists anyway to satisfy whatever number of fans the first gathered with it's cheapness and cheesy production. Again, not for everyone but if you're willing to waste a good hour and minutes to watch a horror movie set being terrorized by a wanker in a clown mask, be my guest!

Bodycount:
1 female found with throat cut
1 male ran through the chest with a machete
1 female knifed to death
1 male hacked to death with a machete
1 male hacked to death with a machete
1 female ran through the head with a machete
1 male gets a machete to the head
1 male gets his throat cut with a machete
1 male hacked on the back with a machete, stabbed on the eye with a broken bottle
1 female hacked to death with a machete
Total: 10

Within the Woods (2005)
Rating: **
Starring: Athena Demos, Alex Gordon, Janelle Herrera

More of a retelling of the first with a new set of characters and a much more fluid modern look, Within The Woods follows a reality show producer who plans to use the legend of the Camp Blood Clown as a motif. And as if his cue was called in, the Clown, or someone donning the clown, pops up to do bodily dismemberment to each and everyone involved in the set. The thing about this is that it took quite a bit before the clown shows up to butcher the contestants (a few deadly casualties did got in the way for an added kill count) and we did have some feeble attempts to deepen the characters, as well as re-telling of the Camp Blood Clown story. (covering events of the two prior entries) Once these kids wake up for the next morning, they discover some of their friends are missing and/or dead, and soon we repeat the run-stalk-kill last third of the first movie with a familiar twist.

So it's nothing more but the same old stuff, Within The woods' only improvement is that it looks a little better, there were some actual plot direction and a better set of talents. It's still bad, but watchable as a campy slasher that, like the first, was made to entertain the simple folks with a standard horror story, some awfully big plot holes and really cheap kills.

Not much else to say, Within The Woods is quite forgettable but a fair swing nevertheless. See it if you want but you're not gonna lose much either if you decided to skip this.

Bodycount:
1 male had his throat cut with a machete
1 female hacked with a machete
1 female slashed with a machete
1 male pushed to an upright branch, impaled through the head
1 female murdered, later found with throat cut (story)
1 male slashed with a machete (story)
1 male stabbed to death with a buck knife
1 female seen dead at the foot of a cliff (?)
1 male gets a thrown machete through the gut
1 female slashed with a machete
1 female electrocuted via current
Total: 11 (?)

"Do It": Cassandra (1986)

Cassandra (Australia, 1986)

Rating: ***1/2

Starring: Tegan Charles, Tessa Humphries, Dylan O'Neill 

Ozploitation slashers are awfully little in numbers but most of the outcomes are arguably quite favorable; the best examples would be the amazing Wolf Creek franchise, as well as the evil genius-themed Dead Kids (1981) (AKA Strange Behavior), the theatre-motif Stagefright (1980), the made for TV Coda (1987) and the Post-90s teen kill Cut (2000).

Now, we will be reviewing an exceptionally rare Cassandra, a gothic thriller that literally starts with a bang as we watch an apparent suicide-by-shotgun of a woman while a creepy boy coaxes her to "do it". We soon see that this is a dream a  teenager named Cassandra have been constantly getting to the point she wonders if this is a repressed memory from her childhood. Whenever she shares this with her parents, they simply brush this off even if they later hinted with each other that they may know a thing or two. Nevertheless, all are bound for the worse when Cassandra discovers her father, a photographer, was having an affair and probably impregnated one of his models and soon escalates further when said model was killed later the following night.

The cops turn up and started questioning everybody who could be involved but stranger things are at play when we find out that Cassandra saw the murder through an unexplained psychic link with the killer. Now it's up to her to figure out what's really going on and uncover the horrible truth of her past, in an attempt to stop the killer before they strike again.

What I really love about Cassandra is that it has style; take for granted that the story isn't all that amazing, even more if you could take the time to notice the number of slasher influences it had to work with, the execution for the most parts are impressive nonetheless and I like the way they utilize heavy editing to create an atmospheric movie. Colored lenses and wild camera angles expresses varying tones befitting a particular scene, often using the dream-like take again and again that it's almost supernatural, and a practical use of landscape shots to give some sort of isolated feeling which kinda suits the situation our lead ends up being in as she goes on to discover her dark past alone.

Sadly, this film isn't perfect; other downs that a viewer might go through apart from the unoriginal story is that the performances are varying save Tessa Humphies who did an fine job as our titular character. The others are quite questionable in regards to their talent but thankfully, the atmosphere of the film lessens these blows even if the cheesiness of their parts reeks from time to time. I also have to point out the soap-opera subplots were rarely effective and it kinda dragged the film to a snail pace in the middle before catching up once more in the last act. Until then, we get a few murders, not entirely exceptional save a cool looking beheading, but since the movie is story-driven, I can overlook the lack of blood in favor of stylistics. 

You could call it an art film in the same likeness of other slasher titles like Spain's Anguish (1987) and the British Thriller/bodycounter hybrid White of The Eye (1987) with its "style over substance characteristics", something that may have put Cassandra in the obscurities in the first place but let not this issue hinder you from seeing this rare gem as for the right audience, this can be a classy trash well deserved to be enjoyed!

Bodycount:
1 female shot her face off with a shotgun
1 female knifed on the neck
1 male stabbed and decapitated with a shovel
1 male stabbed offscreen and bled to death
1 male repeatedly shot and set on fire
Total: 5

Fatal Fears: Phobia (1980)

Phobia (1980)

Rating: **

Starring:  Paul Michael Glaser, Susan Hogan, John Colicos 

Psychiatirst Dr. Peter Ross is up to something revolutionary in treating phobias. Too bad it's also quite controversial; six inmates are given the opportunity to earn their freedom by participating in Ross' experimental method on curing/facing phobias by showing them recorded simulations of their actual fears through a really big TV screen. How is this revolutionary, or more importantly, help these poor saps is beyond me but problems are abound when these patients begins to die one by one, ironically under the nature of their own fears.

By today's standards, this may not be entirely new, significantly since we have better titles with the same gimmick, and, sadly, the steady-yet dull direction of this movie and the lack of any believable reaction (or acting, for that matter) around the cast doesn't do any better in return. Phobia (1980)'s less of a slasher and more of a thriller with an air of (failed) sophistication and a whodunit angle that barely makes you think since the twist is too darn obvious, thus barely making through with a passing grade for my viewing but have to commend some of the scenes for their shred of effective tension. There's a little trail of cheese through out the movie's plot but seeing this is one of the earlier (if not the first) attempts to do a bodycounter revolving around phobias, I can look over some of these cons and appreciate the effort.

Maybe with a better (and more talented) cast, more inventive kills or at least a tenser and livelier approach, we may get something out of this film but on it's own, Phobia (1980) is a viewing for horror completists and/or hardcore slasher fanatics only. Nothing else to note, just see it if you're curious.

Bodycount:
1 female decimated by a bomb
1 male falls to his death
1 female drowned in a tub
1 male crushed in an elevator shaft
1 male found dead from snake bite
1 male shot on the eye
Total: 6

Robin Williams

1951-2014

"You'll have bad times, but it'll always wake you up to the good stuff you weren't paying attention to."

Random Fan Art Post: Mick Taylor

Of Wolf Creek franchise
Shit, been a while since I posted art here, eh?

The Maine Attraction: You Can't Kill Stephen King (2010)

You Can't Kill Stephen King (2010)

Rating: ***

Starring:  Monroe Mann, Ronnie Khalil, Crystal Arnette

Stephen King is the least I would expect to be involved in a slasher, may it be written or filmed. While some of the shorts he wrote did have the bodycount ring to it, when it comes to straight teen-killings, he's just too complex for something quite as easy. (the film version of Silver Bullet is the closest to being a slasher. Watch it and you'll see all the clichés there.)

Now with this being brought to light, it's likely to say that we will never expect the Master Storyteller to take a jab at this sub-genre, but does this mean we will never see a straight Stephen King slasher? Not entirely, You Can't Kill Stephen King afterall!

Six teens are on a mini van roadtrip to locate and tour the home town of Mr. King, although their main goal once they get there differs for each; Ronnie is an avid SK fan and perhaps the only one in the group who's excited to see the storyteller's town as the rest of his buddies, Iraq vet-slash-jock Monroe, the sisters Lori and Hilary, Nicole the slut and token black dude Lamont are only interested in having fun on the lake or with each other.

Once they reach the town however, the locals were not too kind with outsiders who utter Stephen King's name, quickly dismissing them, warding them off town or just simply acting like jerks to the kids. Not that it matters for most of the gang (except Ronnie) but it goes for the worse when someone starts to bump them off dead, one clichéd character at a time.

Okay, so technically this is a slasher that pays tribute to Stephen King in a manner that only a low-budget film can afford. The gimmick here is that the murders are supposed to be based on killings from selected King's stories but, if you look at it, they're easily passed off as average murders that many other horror titles had done before. A few examplse of this are a hammer murder that was supposedly based on the twist in the short story The Man who Loved Flowers, and another involving a dead body found with its mouth stuffed with sand, which was a nod to the short Beachworld.

While it brings me joy that this movie pays a little bit more attention to King's more obscure stories, I can't help but think that, with a little more budget, this film could had done better murder-tributes to save itself seeing that, separating this catch of an idea from the actual movie, you're basically left with another backwoods slasher-comedy with cheesey characters and hokey plot holes. It's not really terrible, it's just that You Can't Kill Stephen King felt like a missed opportunity, a movie with something creative to offer if it wasn't for the monetary restrictions.

Then again, it's terrible in a sense it's laughable and while the intended comedy is a hit-and-miss, you can still get a few chuckles along the way in its attempt, making this a good movie to see if your tolerance to the cheddar is amazing! It's a movie made out of passion and respect, humble at its best to keep up glued for a while and just let us have a good time. It gets a little weird at times but it sure is fun as heck!

Far from the deep, terrifying, wondrous amalgam of everything you love and know about the man from Maine, You Can't Kill Stephen King is definitely a package of hammy lines and good ole' dead teen antics with a fairly decent twist. Recommended for King fans with a humor!

 

Bodycount:

1 female bashed on the face with a shovel

1 male gets his throat cut with a knife, slaughtered

1 female brained to death with hammer

1 female found dead with a mouth full of sand

1 female thrown off from height, falls to her death

Total: 5