Schizos and Weeds: Mother's Day Massacre (2007)

Mother's Day Massacre (2007)
Rating: **1/2
Starring:  Adam Scarimbolo, Emily Grace, Heidi Kristoffer

Strange is definitely the word I'm looking for right now whenever I see this. May it be the good or the bad kind, however, is debatable.

Mother's Day Massacre opens with a woman confronting a white trash mother in her home, demanding to see a man who may be responsible for something horrendous done to her. In a fit of rage, she accidentally knocked a pan full of boiling bacon oil over one of the mum's babies and ends up bludgeoned to death with the same frying pan in manic motherly revenge.

Moving forward to the present, the story shifts to one awkward teenager named Jim being urged by his girlfriend (?) to take a road trip with their buds as they try to score some weed. By the time they get to their secret stash, however, they instead ran afoul with a pair of mentally challenged and completely homicidal brothers who waste no time slaughtering them. What soon follows is something rather different, but it will eventually lead up to a revelation that ties these horrific events and bloodshed together, and questions who will live and die.

In a nutshell, Mother's Day Massacre is an unusual and incoherent mayhem of a piece that mixes slashers with a bit of weird drama and teen angst. In fact, it never felt like a straight slasher in most of its running time, but rather more of a tragic teen story that's drenched in blood.

Sadly, I find it hard to fully enjoy the film since I can't root for anyone and some of these scenes just doesn't make any sense. We get plot points such as Jim's girlfriend considering taking an abortion and a hypnotherapists who uses his skill in ordering dazed women into giving him blowjobs, but none of these lead to anything but make these characters completely unlikable. So apart from being confused for a bit with the film's constant flash-forwarding, I can't connect with the film entirely.

The pros, however, are that it tries to break some of the norms of a slasher movie which makes it unpredictable and kinda original. Those you wanted to die or live may not live through your expectations (a questionable move depending on your taste), the direction shifting focus on one character to the next, making you wonder where all of this is going to lead to as a story. It's still far from tame, of course, with the murders fair in count and albeit not entirely gory, savage enough to please our crowd. Plus, the finale is a definite must see, as it is bound to leave mouths agape and questioning what the heck just happened, or if this is really all to it?

Acting is quite good and the production value looks surprisingly well despite the B-Movie quality budget. There's no denying it's still the same low-budget trash we often get in independently made horror flicks, but it has a bit of style in its grit and some diamonds in its roughs, so despite its shortcomings, I stand appreciating the lurid and strange work that is Mother's Day Massacre, a title that is a tad misleading, too weird on its own and exploitative all throughout.

Bodycount:
1 female bludgeoned to death with frying pan
1 dog found slaughtered
1 male axed on the back, groin cut with hunting knife
1 female killed off camera
1 male hacked to death with axe
1 male hacked to death with axe
1 female shot on the eye
1 female had her face shot off with rifle
1 female shot on the eye
Total: 9

When Mimes are Hellsent: All Hallow's Eve (2013)

All Hallow's Eve (2013)
Rating: ****
Staring:  Katie Maguire, Mike Giannelli, Catherine A. Callahan

My first encounter with Damien Leone was during my first year in college, when I came upon his creepy short about demons and witches befittingly titled The 9th Circle. The short was hellish and it freaked out the inner child within me. And then, just a year prior from writing this, I encountered another one of his shorts, a slasher-esque holiday horror known as The Terrifier (which I already made a review of here), and it was and still is impressive in a haunting sense.

For this review, I will be covering Leone's first "feature length" film, sold direct-to -video as All Hallow's Eve, collecting tthese two shorts and adding a new material with a workable wraparound.

The movie starts at the home of two young trick-or-treaters who just came back from the streets with their babysitter. Upon checking their haul, one of them notices a VHS tape slipped in with the candies and, despite a bit of a hesitation from their understandably weirded-out sitter, decided to watch it out of curiosity.

As it turns out, the VHS is a collection of various short films linked by the presence of one demonic-looking mime. After watching the first film, the sitter sent the two children to their beds, more freaked out than ever, but curiosity soon sets in as she continues to watch the rest of the films on her own. The more she does, however, the more she began to notice weird things happening around the corner of her eyes. It soon becomes apparent that she may be living a nightmarish story of her own.

Seize the night, kid. It might be your last...

All Hallow's Eve is actually a great holiday movie, perhaps one of the better Halloween themed horror flicks in recent times. My only complain, however, was that I really wished the producers could at least done something more creative than to rehash and re-introduce the director's original short films that were already made available in Youtube. It was as if they believe that around this day and age, we can't grab hold of a copy of the shorts The 9th Circle and Terrifier in their original format online and the only way for us to see them again was through this movie. Sadly, this is not the point. It's lazy, but it's not entirely bad on its own.

The vibe of Halloween is ever present despite the film's overly cheap production, and the tone is heavy and creepy all through out, especially if the film's own mascot (and perhaps a candidate for the next new face of slasher horror) just happens to be an evil mime named Art the Clown, who does nothing but wreck havoc of all form and laugh silently at your misery.

The series of shorts starts with the director's first film, which is The 9th Circle, telling the tale of a girl waiting alone in a train station one Halloween night, only to be harassed, drugged and captured by Art, readying her for a bloody orgy involving demons, witches and even Satan himself. This segment was actually extended with shot of additional footages, mostly to heighten the bodycount and stretch the film's running time. The overall result was an atmospheric, gruesomely macabre nightmare with cool looking (and impressively detailed) demons and one fucked up story that's just too dreadful to believe.

The second, which was the only short made for the film, involved a newly moved wife who finds herself stuck inside a house, stalked by what appears to be an alien. This segment was more akin to slasher films with its stalk-and-hunt format, with the human killer replaced by a visitor from outer space. (who I admit looks a little funny than scary) It's the most simplistic in terms of plot and relatively bloodless as no onscreen kill was committed, but in place of these, the short effectively executed brooding tension and a nice variation to the sub-genre.

The last segment, also the strongest, was Terrifier, a simple story of a woman driving back to New York during the Witching Hour, only to find herself targeted by none other than Art the Clown himself (now in his full slasher glory) right after she witnessed a horrific murder. The short is tight, quick in pace, overly gory and exploitative. The segment definitely wins as a short horror with its nightmare logic sense of direction and one of the most shockingly disturbing ending done in horror short history.

The wraparound was also one of the film's little highlights; while it is a little slow and the ending took a few elements from the Japanese horror The Ring, I love the sense of intensity it had in its climax, all of which gone haywire with the reveal of yet another shocking end and its all throughout creepiness.

I like the fact on how each segment seems to be entirely different from one another in terms of theme, style and approach. (save two, which are both slashers in their core) The sheer randomness of each scenario plays certainly well to bring out some chills and bloody spills, and frankly, I'm just glad it was all handled well as one whole movie, even if the producers had to cheat with the segments. Production looks professional enough as moodily composed synthesizer scores brings out the film's potential eeriness, acting was by far passable with a bit of realism, and while the special effects does look a bit dodgy at times (seeing these segments are film in separate years), they are impressive despite the cheap latex.

Be sure to keep an eye out for this! If you can look pass the fact you'd already seen some of these films, and at least appreciate the creative means to bring them all together in one running piece, then All Hallows' Eve awaits for you. And so does Art. Especially if you leave the movie running...

Bodycount:
1 female dragged away in chains, killed
1 female hacked to death with meat cleaver
1 pregnant female had her fetus cut out with a dagger
1 female killed (method not seen)
1 male dismembered with hacksaw
1 female found with her hands cut off and her face bludgeoned flat against a car steering wheel
1 male shot on the head
1 boy and 1 girl dismembered
Total: 9

No Prayers can save you from this nightmare...

HOLY CRAP HOW DID THAT HAPPENED?! Sequels that I never expected to happen.

Okay, so we're nearing the end of 2013 (as I write this) and lately, I'm seeing a lot of upcoming attractions for the next year that I can't wait for. For starters, the new Godzilla film is scheduled for release on that year, and I'm all but patient to see my childhood monster back on the big screen (and hopefully won't be a mess-up like last time's attempt. Poor, Poor GINO (Godzilla in name only) ...) and then there's also the horror comedies American Burger and Squirrels coming out, or at least they were announced to.

We also have upcoming sequels Cabin Fever: Patient Zero and Wolf Creek 2 coming out that year (the latter I'm very excited about) but lately, I've been hearing some other follow-ups that I never really expected to happen. It all started with Seed 2, a shocking sequel to that atrocious, eye-gouge inducing, splatter-slasher-serial killer wannabe from Uwe Boll, the one director I really wish would retire...or at least learn a bit. After looking into it, trying to make sure this is just a rumor (and it wasn't) -

They're calling it Seed 2: New Breed or something

God damn it! Vastra was right! THE UNIVERSE DOESN'T DO BARGAINS!

I began to see some other sequel news to movies I never expected to be franchised. In here, you'll see some sequel news that I found out and are either in-production or currently awaiting release, all of them I approach with mixed feelings. Will they be good? Will they be bad? Will they be necessary for the movie? Only time can tell. (And its things like this I really wished I have my own TARDIS.)

They're not all scheduled to be released next year, but I am keeping an eye for them just out of curiosity...

Dead Snow: Red vs Dead

the plot: If you saw the first film, apparently one of them had survived the attack of an entire legion of undead Nazis, and will come back to defeat them, with the help of a group of Professional American Zombie Killers.

The feels: Kinda excited, but overall a bit nervous seing how awesome the first movie was. It's the best zombie-slasher I've seen (topping the my second fave, Trailer Park of Terror), so making a sequel to it just seems a bit unnecessary. Still, too early to say...

Will see?: Yes. Definitely.

Jurassic World

The plot: None at the moment. But judging from the title, it's gonna be effin' big.

The Feels: Well, seeing I did enjoy the third film as a popcorn-friendly time-passer, I guess I could use one more round of wild dinosaurs eating innocent people.

Will see?: Sure, why not?

Leprechaun: Origins

The plot: a complete re-imagining of the entire franchise. starring WWE's  Dylan Postl (AKA Hornswoggle) as the evil Leprechaun.

The feels: ...YOU'LL NEVER REPLACE WARWICK DAVIS!

Will See?: *sigh* I guess I should. I love the franchise up until it went to Space. Never seen the two others, guess I should watch those first before attempting to see this...

There's more of you?!

The Purge 2

The Plot: None at the moment, but hopefully it's a lot better than that polished garbage.

The feels: ...why?

Will See?: ...ugh. I'll probably read about it first and see if it's any good. If there's more positive reviews from common folks like you and me, then I guess I'll try to tolerate it.

The Billy chalk drawing in Insidious.
Notice the "8" below it? Was it a hint?

SAW 8

The Plot: nothing here yet, but it's obviously gonna be messy!

The Feels: Holy shit, really? The last film was fine! What is this gonna be about now? Time Travel? Ugh...

Will See?: ...I only hated one SAW film that is Part 5...why the hell not, I guess...

See No Evil 2

The Plot: Apparently Mr. Jacob Goodnight, the killer of the first film, survived getting his heart impaled on a glass shard, and is now loose in a hospital, targeting teenage staffers.

The feels: HOW?! WHY?! A GLASS SHARD THROUGH THE HEART FOR ALL THINGS! WE EVEN GET TO SEE IT IN FLASHY COMPUTER GRAPHICS! Then again, he DID survived a frigging gunshot to the head...

Will See?: It's going to be directed by the Soska Sisters. As in the two responsible for the overrated American Mary...meh, guess I'll see it just to see how the heck Jacob survived his apparent death. (And hopefully, it's not anything like that crap Chromeskull: Laid to Rest 2 pulled out...)

Shrooms 2

The Plot: None at the moment.

The Feels: Really? Had they seen how bad this film was? My guess is they'll try to rehash the plot and do it right this time, that or follow-up from where the film left off. Highly unlikely though...

Will See?: pfft...I'll probably flip a coin for this one.

If you know or heard of other obscure sequels that I hadn't listed here, please feel free to share them! I wanna see if I'll laugh, cry or cringe at these! So til' then, stay alive and stay cool~!

So, Snuff Film?: Snarveien (2009)

Snarveien ("Detour") (Norway, 2009)
rating: **
Starring: Marte Christensen, Sondre Krogtoft Larsen, Jens Hultén

While the film itself is polished, the story of Snarveien is anything except new.

This Scandinavian thriller-cum-slasher had a couple on a road trip across the border to buy some wedding supplies for a friend. When driving back home later that evening, a roadblock forces the two to take a detour that a policeman showed them earlier, unknowingly leading to the backwoods and encountering a wounded panicking girl.

She appears to be fleeing from something, or someone, so the two do-gooders attempt to find help, meeting up with the cop again who helps them settle in a nearby house in the woods. Obviously, the occupants of this house ain't normal and soon a fight for survival is at hand.

It's really no more than another thriller that tackles snuff films, Snarveien had it made with some cheap but passable tension, good stalker action and a crisp high-quality look. But everything else seems to drag down to mediocrity as slasher/thriller clichés piles up so quickly in front of us, with twists and surprises that we all saw coming right beforehand.

It's a shame, really; the direction was good and the film felt realistic enough with its attention to details and continuity, but everything about this film seems so predictable that they could have done something to hype it up. Sadly, the kill count is pretty low and uncreative, the survivor count is remarkable high (for a film with only two leads!), the killers committing them look rather lame (dudes in gimp masks with miniature head-cams) and everything happened so fast, the 70 minute running time of the movie just seem to breezed through as if nothing happened. (kinda did for a hardcore slasher fan)

Not necessarily a bad movie, just replaceable. You can watch up to ten other titles out there that tries to exploit snuff movies as a horror subject in place for this one and have at least an interesting time, so unless you got nothing much to do and just want to pass the time, Snarveien might stand as a last option.

Bodycount:
1 female killed with hunting knife
1 male hacked on the neck with axe
1 male shot
1 female impaled on a fire poke
1 male shot on the head
Total: 5

Short Shear Terror: Doll Boy (2010)

Doll Boy (2010)
Rating: ***1/2
Starring: Ryan Clapp, Sergio Gracida

Sometimes a slasher film doesn't need much to be great. So long as the kill count is sizable, the gore is good and the killer is memorable, a movie of that sub-genre can have quite an impact for its fans and, too, those who can appreciate it.

Bloody Bill Production's Doll Boy (2010) is a short about a group of seven captives (or eight if you'll count that unfortunate toddler whose fate remains ambiguous) getting forced inside an abandoned shopping center by a demented clown. The center, as in turns out, homes the titular Doll Boy, an overweight maniac behind a grungy looking mask and dinky overalls, wielding a sledgehammer.

The story is simple enough as it is; people running around for their lives, splitting into groups as they always do, trying to find a way to get out alive. Of course, some of them either does something entirely stupid or selfish, and they end up bludgeoned to death by the killer. With a running time of 27 minutes, it doesn't leave much for plot or character development, instead going for a straight-forward slasher routine of stalk-and-kill, but at least the fast-pace kept the adrenaline going, a good thing since the attacks and murder sequences were brutal enough for sickening enjoyment.

The low budget is pretty obvious, but I applaud the film's creative look despite of it; the premise really helps keep the mood in tone, with all the windows either barred or absent, litter of almost every kind including broken toys, working film projectors and glass shards all over the place, putting the whole film in a state of implied hopelessness for any means of escape. In an even darker tone, mutilated bodies of men, women and children are even found displayed all around in twisted decay, showing a bit of history to the killer's modus. On that note, Doll Boy himself is also another positive element of the film; completely silent, the large hulk hints no reason for his killings, why he is there in the first place, nor does the movie shows his connection with the clown. All we know is that he is there and he's doing what he does best.

Doll Boy (2010) is everything a short slasher film is supposed to be; good scares, atmosphere and gore, it's definitely a labor of love and homage to the sub-genre as almost every trope is present and balanced. Recommended for a good watch!

Bodycount:
1 toddler girl later missing, presumably killed
1 female had her head bashed with a sledgehammer
1 male brained with a sledgehammer
1 female had her face pulped with a sledgehammer
1 male beaten to death with a sledgehammer
1 male hit on the temple with a sledgehammer
1 female beaten to death with a sledgehammer
Total: 7

Must Kill Again To Get Better (?): Fear of Clowns 2 (2007)

Fear of Clowns 2 (2007)
Rating: *
Staring: Jacqueline Reres, Mark Lassise, Frank Lama

Decided to follow-up Fear of Clowns (2004) with its sequel just out of curiosity. After some personal encouragement from one of the staff in Kangas Film, the company that produced these movies, I was in with high hopes to see any form of improvement from the rather cheap but conceptually interesting first, but all I saw was, um, something else. Worse.

Two years after the events of the first film, Shivers the Clown managed to break out of his confinement and tagged along two psychos who agreed to help him out with his plan to murder his target, Lynn Blodgett, the one and only survivor of his massacre, and still our heroine. Dressed up once again in his topless clown outfit, Shivers and co. hack, slash and mutilate their way through cops, punks and rural families just to find her, but what they didn't know is that a certain Detective Peters, the man responsible for Shiver's capture, is back as well and willing to do anything just to see our clown six feet under.

I admit, the plot was an improvement, and so does the gore and kill count, but everything seems to be dragged down by the same flaw that prevented me from rating the first film any higher: budget. The direction, set and production of the film stills show some homemade quality, despite the bigger look, Audio still muffles around and the acting quality is varying in degree. I like the fact we got more killer clowns here, but their performances and designs are underwhelming and mediocre. We got one that looks like a cannibalizing Ronald MacDonald that does nothing but giggle every time he murders (hence his name "Giggles The Clown". How Original), and then another one that had a painted on Third Eye on his forehead dubbed Ogre, who appears to have a thing for collecting heads. These two are a fair addition, but they're underused in favor for our main killer, Shivers the Clown.

Shivers hadn't change much; he's still believes that his schizophrenia can be cured by killing the then-painter-now-author Lynn. The big clown eventually goes solo, but after killing Giggles when the cannibal clown almost murdered Lynn, Shivers soon find himself dealing with more than a scared woman and her detective bodyguard as Ogre also wants a piece of him, too. It's nice to see the shirtless clown getting more to deal with here, but I really wished they could had done something less convulsive for a storyline for him to appear in.

Perhaps the biggest complain I have with the film is that it tries too hard. Still. It keeps everything under a serious tone but the quality of it just made the movie terribly corny and I can't help but feel like they could had done more exploitation with just a simple story. Tagging along a subplot of one of our leads being just as mad as the killer they pursue does shake out a bit of interest for the fans, but I find it rather tired and underdone.

Overall, the film isn't working out to me; too many set-pieces just for the sake of set-pieces, Fear Of Clowns 2 (2007) is a slow, muddy road that tries to market one cool-looking killer clown into a franchise. If only they kept it as a subtle and straight-forward slasher, I would have appreciate it more, but for the rest of you fine folks reading this, if cheap production isn't a hindrance for you, then feel free to try out this face-painted nightmare!

Bodycount:
1 male neck broken
1 male beaten to death with a nailed bat
1 male had his neck bitten open
1 female killed
1 male stabbed to death with iron claws, disemboweled
1 male found decapitated
1 male battle axe to the shoulder
1 male hacked with battle axe
1 male found with a nailed bat to the back of his head
1 male stabbed on the eye with battle axe
1 female gets a battle axe to the head
1 male beheaded with battle axe
1 female cut in half with battle axe
1 male beheaded by the mouth with battle axe
1 male decapitated with battle axe
1 male stabbed on the back of the head with battle axe
1 male decapitated with axe
1 male hacked on the head with battle axe
1 male hacked on the side with battle axe
Total: 19

That Ain't no Holly Jolly Fat Man on the roof...

Leather Fetish for the Low Kind: Zipperface (1992)

Zipperface (1992)
Rating: 1/2
Starring: Dona Adams, Bruce Brown, David Clover

Well. This is certainly.... Different. For a masked slasher.

One part slasher film, one part police drama, Zipperface has a female law enforcer promoted to detective after heroically saving a kid from a hostage crisis. And her first assignment? Investigate a series of hooker-related murders, apparently committed by someone with a fetish for leather gear.

Now, I'm just gonna breeze through this since, frankly, Zipperface really didn't do anything for the horror sub-genre aside from knocking it back a decade or two.

 For starters, I'm slightly disappointed with the lack of any real action here involving the titular murderous (and literal) leatherface, with the movie spending most of its time following our lead in her mission to capture her perp as she uncovers some serious plot twists and red herrings.(which somewhat involved learning how to strip tease) Unfortunately, whenever the big guy himself did show up, the movie's zero-budget and absence of direction leave his scenes and murder sprees as dry as an English muffin for a slasher film. Tis' a shame as, with the killer's bondage inspired get-up, they could have let this mother slash his way through casts in sleaze but all they did is waste a perfectly good killer in a lamely executed horror-crime drama hybrid.

Everything else seems to trail along with the budget; overacting cheap actors, plodding pace, bad lighting, mediocre set, cheap camera work, and surprisingly dry nudity for a film about a killer gimp! The twist reveal in the end does come off rather surprising but if a good portion of the movie seems to be just lazing around, pretending to be as scary as it imagined itself to be, then I really don't see much of a point for it.

A real tired piece of shit. Skip!

Bodycount:
1 male shot dead
1 female had her neck broken with a whip
1 female decapitated with a machete
1 female thrown off a building
1 female strangled with a chord
1 female hit with a car
1 male found with throat cut
1 male shot through the head
Total: 8