A Slay Belle In Toymaker Hell: Carnage For Christmas (2024)

Carnage For Christmas (Australia, 2024)

Rating: **1/2

Starring: Jeremy Moineau, Chris Asimos, Dominique Booth

As someone who's been subjecting oneself to slasher horror for some good decades or so, I've seen a lot of unusual jabs on the bodycounter sub-genre, may it be plot-wise or execution. One moment you're watching an angry snowman end someone by repeatedly bashing them with Christmas ornaments, or trapped teens get hunted down inside a mall by robots armed with lasers; next you're watching a murder mystery unfold ala gimmicky split screens, or follow the steps of a backwoods maniac as they hike through a dense forest looking for people to kill with little to no dialogue uttered. Cinema is a strange landscape, and horror movies will always be a part of its strangeness. 

And yet, here I am at a lost on what to make of this holiday stab-a-thon.

Returning to her hometown of Purdan for the first time after coming out of the closet and legging it from there when she was just 16 years old, true crime podcaster Lola (Jeremy Moineau) expects nothing but small town backwardness and transphobic insults from its residents upon her arrival. What she didn't see coming, though, is a bit of a warm welcome from a few good folks looking forward on meeting her, either fans of her podcast or queer like her. There's also the fact that Lola is a little of a local celebrity for solving an unsolved crime back when she was just a kid while partaking on a coming-of-age dare. One that involves an old house where, allegedly, a toymaker killed his entire family back in the 1930s. 

However, much to her and the town's horror, it appears the Toymaker, or likely someone insane enough to take on the role, has started a killing spree seemingly targeting people around Lola's circle. The police, either out of sheer homophobia or incompetence (or both), quickly dismisses these killings as "botched robberies" or simply "missing people". But not for Lola. No, she knows something is up when the cops are ignoring the fact that this is more than a simple crime case when the evidence is all over it, and she's going to use her skills and experience as a true crime podcaster to uncover the truth and stop the murderer before more lives are taken!

By all means, Carnage for Christmas (2024) has a good story to tell, one that feels like a fun rainy afternoon murder mystery you could cuddle up to with a hot drink, only queer-friendly and, well, gory given it's about a brain-bashing brute in a dirty Santa suit and mask. The plot is engagingly complex with red herrings and twisty turns, as well as a few good humor tossed around to lighten up a few moments. All of it driven by a tough and sassy amateur sleuth who takes no nonsense from sloppy cops and transphobic yokels, quick to think on her feet and surrounded by a small yet likable enough cast of side characters willing to help out so long as they don't fall victim to the Toymaker first. It's misadventures and shocking surprises around for this small town whodunnit, though it's executed in a rather "venturesome" manner that's distracting at its worst. 

 

While the mystery has a decent weight to it, there are moments where it gets a bit much with the details and characters, plenty of them popping up only to do nothing but be on the back burner until the story finds the appropriate time to bring them up again. The movie's untrammeled editing is also a cavalcade of overdone stylization, too hammed up and brashly experimental that it often feels out of place against the movie's film's more serious notes. The writing can be too on the nose on occasion, nearing cheeky, and the kills are, sadly, lackluster despite the attempts to make them feel or look gnarly. There's a "blood eagle" corpse that does look nice and I do like the one murder involving a hand-crank drill for the novelty of the weapon, but the rest were done with these store bought props, awkward graphics and CG blood effects that they're awfully frustrating to look at.   

And then there's the finale; what could have been your simple brawl between an unmasked maniac and the final girl starts with our podcaster pretty much explaining how she figured out the killer's motive and what led them to this path of murdering and mayhem, all the while trying to avoid being detected by crawling around and rolling behind tables and boxes while the maniac stalks around an empty bar. They fight with B-grade choreography and it seems the killer was about to get the upper hand, until a pair of fake boobs knocks them unconscious and, well, gets tazed to the point of defecating. I shit you not. (pun intended) 

It's this overly manic execution and mismatched comedic tone that just doesn't work for me; I like the lead gal, the urban myth that goes along with the masked slasher and, too, the reveal made regarding the killer's modus operandi, but a more consistent flow and direction would have made me like this movie a bit more. Perhaps the movie could have benefitted from a tweak or two in its direction, but the resulting product is still unique enough to standout among murder mystery slashers and queer horror, not to mention decently passable for a modern Ozploitation indie work. Feel free to see Carnage for Christmas (2024) for your fix of yuletide nightmares, just don't expect to take it too seriously...

Bodycount:

1 male gutted with a switchblade (story)

1 female brained to death with a hammer

1 female brained with a hammer, later found disemboweled

1 female jabbed in the neck with a breast drill

1 male brained with a hammer, scalp pried open

Total: 5