Murky Visions: Scalper (2023)

Scalper (2023)

Rating: *

Starring: Susan Priver, Jake Busey, Bai Ling

Y'know, it's hard to get excited for a slasher when the first kill involves a dirty fat fella getting sodomized with a dagger until the weapon is caked in blood and shit. Yeah.

Clementine Carver (Susan Priver) is a psychic, as well as a surviving victim of a serial killer dubbed The Scalper, named so after their habit of scalping women. It's been some time since the maniac was killed off and with her niche of having powers that helped track down The Scalper, Clementine sees herself getting interviewed for a radio show one day, with her friend, Jade Mei, excitedly calling the station for give the psychic some support over the air. Horrifyingly, Jade finds herself attacked by a man masked in black, her screams for help broadcasted over the airwaves. Clementine, in turn, goes into a seizure-like trance wherein she sees what happened to Jade, which is nothing short of a full-on slaughter that ends with her face and scalp being sliced off.

When Clementine comes through, she's greeted by Detective Hayden (Jake Busey) and his partner Detective Lupino (Kate Patel), who are already on the case of the recent murder and hoping to have her otherworldly abilities help them investigate what appears to be a copycat Scalper killing. Unbeknownst to them, this new wave of scalp murders has a more personal touch to it, all of which seems to lead down to Clementine herself...

Now, see, this is fine and all but, not going to sugarcoat anything, the production of this movie blows; aside from the downright horrendous writing and the very questionable set of C to Z-grade talents involved in bringing this murder mystery to life, Scalper (2023) tries to be this slick and creepy supernatural slasher by involving the previous victims of the titular killer in helping solve their own murders and, too, the new killings, via our heroine's psychic connection. Just for it all to fall embarrassingly flat when the shoddy editing, lowbrow CG effects and dollar store practical make-up distractingly and hilariously highlights how cheap this movie really is. You could argue that this may be the intention, to bring a bit of humor to the plot, but the direction of the film is clearly aiming for something serious with how much it builds around the police procedural, and the trauma Clementine is going through being nearly another victim of the Scalper. Not to mention her worries of losing her father after he himself became a target of the serial slayer, presented here with her transversing the afterlife to convince his soul to return. Only, for some reason, the afterlife is a highly tinted barren of ruins, but not really since you can see moving traffic just way over the horizon. Yeah. Hard to take these heart-wrenching emotional moments seriously with all of that clunky production showing up.

You may be wondering, then, if I find this movie as absolute horse crap, why did I still give it a single star? Well, I'm awarding that to this movie's single highlight, which is the killer's design. Under the right lighting and angle, the fella is genuinely creepy with their flesh face mask and messy wring of a scalped hair, and I applaud Scalper (2023) for that.

That said, take this shitty movie out of my face and kick if off a trash heap.

Bodycount:

1 male sodomized with a dagger, scalped

1 male sodomized with a dagger, scalped

1 female slaughtered with a dagger, face flayed and scalped

1 female killed with a dagger, face flayed

1 female killed with a dagger, face flayed

1 male stabbed to death with a dagger

1 female sodomized with a dagger, face flayed

1 male stabbed through the neck with a dagger

1 male gets a dagger through the head

1 male found murdered

1 male stabbed with a dagger

1 male stabbed to death with a dagger

1 female decapitated with a dagger

1 male shot on the head

Total: 14

Love Hurts, Love Scars: Strange Darling (2023)

Strange Darling (2023)

Rating: ***1/2

Starring: Willa Fitzgerald, Kyle Gallner, Madisen Beaty

It's a classic horror sight to see: a shotgun-toting madman in the woods, his wounded lady prey running for her life. What could be strange about this you ask? Well...

Two characters, simply named "Lady" (Willa Fitzgerald) and "Demon" (Kyle Gallner) meet up at a motel one night for a sexy good time of drugs, smokes and kinks, only for it all go brutal when one of them turns out to be a serial killer, accumulating to a backwoods cat-and-mouse chase where bloody casualties are to be expected. So far, so familiar? Perhaps, but Strange Darling (2023) opted to tell this narrative by chapters. Six of them and an epilogue. Each told in a non-linear path and revealing more of what exactly happened from dusk to dawn in that one motel room, all the while toying with our expectations and subverting what we may have already understood.

This seemingly randomized plot direction practically has the story's tone all over the place, establishing some of the strange aspects of the movie and welcoming a needed sense of uncertainty for what looked like your everyday slasher horror final girl scenario. This, though, isn't the only thing peculiar about Strange Darling (2023) as there's also a notable mumblecore quality to the writing done for the characters here, especially between the Lady and the Demon, echoing elements of toxic relationships and sexual tension tinted with dark humor, sometimes accompanied by a soft yet haunting soundtrack composed by artist Z-Berg. All of which being shot with a dream-like vibrant cinematography which goes so well with the jumbled plotting, no doubt punctuating how much this film is made to build intrigue, and it certainly does its job right down to the chilling finale!

Production for Strange Darling (2023) is said to be a difficult one as producers weren't exactly on board with writer and director JT Mollner's vision for the movie, resulting to momentary shutdowns and even production company Miramax hiring editors to re-work a linear cut of the film behind Mollner's back. Fortunately, creative heads prevailed when test screening of original cut proved to be greatly successful, the end result being this hauntingly captivating indie piece of backwoods violence with a devilish twist. It can get a little talky during some of the slower scenes, borderline being pretentious at times, and the fetishization of sexual violence roleplays-gone-nearly wrong did get rather uncomfortable to sit through until its awkward aftermath, but one cannot deny the thoughtful construction and execution of its increasingly dire and unexpected turns towards cruelty, heartbreak and gore. 

Refreshingly chaotic and fractured, Strange Darling (2023) is a simple movie told in a not-to-simple way, gracefully carried by hot messes of characters over the scenic beauty of forest landscapes, awaiting to be defiled by grit, sleaze and blood splatter. It's an art piece of a horror film, an exercise on cleverness and misdirection, and I, for one, appreciate that. How well one can take said practice of a backwoods horror movie is another question, however. What say you?

Bodycount:

1 male found bashed on the head with a landline phone, knifed in the chest

1 female stabbed in the neck with a buck knife

1 male had his neck bitten open, bled to death

1 female shot on the head

1 male shot

1 female shot, succumbs to her injuries
Total: 6

Double The Booking. Double The Hooking: Bone Lake (2024)

Bone Lake (2024)

Rating: ***

Starring: Alex Roe, Maddie Hasson, Marco Pigossi

When the first scene you see in a movie is a naked couple being chased through the woods by a shadowy figure brandishing a crossbow, hitting one victim through the balls in an unapologetic gratuitous shot, I think it'll be more than understandable to expect nothing but trashy horror in Bone Lake (2024). And, yes, the movie does lean on the sleazy side, but it's also playing a different kind of game. One that's going to test our character's will to commit, to trust, and to survive one night in the damn woods in one piece.

Former teacher and aspiring writer Diego (Marco Pigossi) is hoping to spend a (clothing optional) weekend in a rented lake house with his girlfriend, Sage (Maddie Hasson). Not long after just settling in (and doing each other on a bearskin rug), another more spirited couple, Will (Alex Roe) and Cin (Andra Nechita) show up ready to have their own happy weekend at the same cabin, but are a tad confused to find the house already occupied. It seems a booking screw-up have both couples scheduled to enjoy the forest-bound vacation home and with neither pair wanting to leave, they mutually agreed to spend the weekend together as new friends.

And as friends, the two couples share experiences, little secrets and tips for a spicy relationship, as well as engage in other fun times like sharing scary stories behind the lake's name, 'Bone Lake', which has less to do with the fact that it's a popular sex spot for lovers, and more on the fact that it's a dumping site for victims killed by a serial killer back at the 1950s. There are also the three suspicious rooms the house owner keep locked tickling the couples' curiosity, which they drunkenly proceed to open two, revealing a sex dungeon and a macabre room dedicated to the lake's dark history. What of the third room, though? Well...

As morning comes, trouble starts brewing; Will steals a wedding ring Diego was planning on proposing to Sage with and uses it to propose to Cin. It turns out the girl cheated on Will some time before and, out of desperation, he made the proposal as a way to keep her by his side. Diego, though outraged at first, somewhat understood Will's predicament as Sage also cheated on him early into their relationship, thus forgiving his new buddy so long as he does bring him back the ring before the weekend's end. 

This, unfortunately and unsurprisingly, does little to help with Diego's self-esteem as he fears he's not sexually satisfying enough after catching Sage pleasuring herself in a bathtub the day before, but it appears temptation is rearing its horny head for him as it looks like Cin's up to her old cheating tricks again, this time seducing Diego. To further complicate matters, Will is suddenly taking his shots on Sage, too, while driving to town together for groceries, promising her a good time that nobody else would ever know. 

Will the two take the bait? 

As you can tell by now, Bone Lake (2024) sets itself as a twisty erotic thriller highlighting the flaws of our main casts as both relatable figures and lovers, played with a B-grade tongue firmly pressed in a cheek and fair amount of steamy sex scenes. Yet, the film still finds the time to slow down and properly give our hapless pairs the time to grow as they share their vulnerabilities and insecurities behind their partners' backs, only to eventually face them when shit hits the fan and, by that, I mean the movie delivers a decent twist to what's really happening here, making way for a very backwoods slasher-inspired third act; chainsaws, crossbows, wise-cracking maniacs and all! Without a doubt, it takes a real long while before we do get to the splattery action, but by then insane motives and backstories were monologued, giving us a real demented and icky pair of psychos to terrorize our screens, and the movie does reward our patience with surprisingly decent stalk-and-stab sequences, visually enriched with awesome practical gore and some of the most satisfying kills to grace a forest-bound horror thriller.

Bone Lake (2024) may have the sweet and tangy coating of an inviting eye-candy exploitation and, in a lot of aspects, it is, the movie thankfully remembers to be fun with its horror thriller elements, playing us a genuinely intriguing situation of seductive temptations and moral reproach, then escalating the dangers from emotional and psychological to downright horrific and viscerally messy for our inner gorehounds! Its writing also fascinates the brooding situation without being overly titillating and prude, balancing the sexism and mystery along its well-rounded set of characters to both root for and be wary of, which is something I openly welcome if it means a real fun watch in-between all of the sleaze and slaughter. 

Delirious and debauched, Bone Lake (2024) promises outlandishly bunkum and a savage finale, just a good snatch to catch if you ever see yourself looking for something wilder and more bodacious from your typical horror thriller fix! 

Bodycount:

1 male repeatedly shot with a crossbow

1 female lands gut-first on a dead branch, killed offscreen with a crossbow

1 victim seen murdered, body being dragged and dumped into a lake (flashback)

1 victim mentioned murdered

1 male hacked on the head with an axe, lands face first on a chainsaw

1 female had her jaw whacked off with an axe and her hair caught on a boat propeller, dismembered

Total: 6