The Beast of Meteorite Acres: Splatter-Saurus (2023 Novella)

Splatter-Saurus

Author: Judith Sonnet

Publication Year: 2023

Chapters: 14

Rating: ***

A dinosaur-centered Youtube channel once covered this book and described it as 'dinosaur splatterpunk'. Seeing this is written by Judith Sonnet, whose stories often dip into Extreme horror, I'm not too surprised. What did tickle my curiosity, however, was upon further looking into it, some people also consider this a 'backwoods slasher'. And that, ladies and gents, is how I ended up owning this rather gruesome, exploitative novella about a random dinosaur on a feeding frenzy deep in some woods. 

The story does resemble a typical backwoods slasher plot of young adults visiting a cabin at Meteorite Acres for some rest and relaxation; drinks were drank, drugs were suggested, some hanky-panky time was considered despite some characters wondering how their partners would react if they finally decided to come out of the closet, but what these lads and ladies didn't come to account for is the orange-scaled dinosaur that's rampaging all over the nearby forest and pond! Devouring already the small family who owned the cabins and a few very horrible rednecks, this bipedal monster is now dead set on gorily sinking its teeth down on some nubile college kids...

In the afterword of the book, Sonnet wrote that Splatter-Saurus is a homage to cheesy dinosaur flicks one would typically catch on channels like SyFy or streaming sites like Tubi and, frankly, she is mostly on point; the book reads like the most hardcore creature feature exploitation piece involving a prehistoric theropod, one that the likes of the Carnosaur movies would have been if they delivered a bit more bad taste into their plots, such as overly-detailed traumatic deaths and a pinch of hicksploitation grindcore with a pair of redneck brothers who are into very disturbing and upsetting ideas of fun, examples of which apparently involve torturing lady hitchhikers and swiping babies away from mothers. 

This being a short horror piece, the story is straight-to-the-point and a quick read, barely diving away from the shallow plotting of a dinosaur brutally hunting and eating side dish cannon fodders before moving in to the main course chilling inside a cabin. Wordplay is descriptive enough to really really paint the gross gruesomeness of these attacks, as well as attempt a bit of layer and humor during the story's few lulling moments, making this a promisingly intense and intriguing B-grade horror read. The only qualm for me here is that the last twist and the resulting ending feels like it pushed the silliness a tad too far, making the conclusion overly random for the sake of cheese and shock, maybe a bit rushed as well. In all sincerity, it could work as the author did say she wanted this book to be stupid yet fun, but I personally think it could have been articulated and written better so it wouldn't be so janky.

Still, Splatter-Saurus done enough tooth-and-nail bodycounting to make it a good read, given that is you got the iron stomach for some extreme horror literature because it can get real nasty! This novelette is ridiculously wrong and splattery, but if you love a bad dinosaur creature feature, even more so a slasher with a generous offering of blood and body parts, then give this backwoods slaughter-fest with a prehistoric twist a go!

Bodycount: 13

Notable Kills: "...The bulky brute's body lifted Angus up and sent him spinning like an organic frisbee. Angus's scream warbled comedically before his body struck a nearby tree.

Paul watched in shock as his brother wrapped around the sturdy shaft of the tree."

Mountaintop Cryptid Massacre: The Bloody Tracks of Bigfoot (2021 Novel)

The Bloody Tracks of Bigfoot

Author: David Irons

Publication Year: 2021

Chapters: 56

Rating: ****

Frequent visitors of this here little personal corner of the web would probably know how much I love my Bigfoot slashers! I love the splattery hamminess of Night of The Demon (1980). I love the Southern fried creepiness of The Wildman of The Navidad (2008). I love the found footage stylings of Exist (2014). I love the backwoods bachelor bash gone Bigfoot of Cherokee Creek (2018). I love this slasher/monster hybrid niche that much, I have now expanded my need to consume media where the big hairy fella slaughters teenagers one by one from movies to novels!

And here's where David Iron's The Bloody Tracks of Bigfoot comes in! 

Taking place mostly in April 2nd, 1981, the novel follows the small cast and crew of an independent movie production as they drive to a rented construction site somewhere at the Oregonian mountains to finish filming the last few key scenes of their slasher flick, Mountaintop Madman Massacre. For the first half of the book, the story does a good job building itself around the filming as we get to know more about the bunch working in it; heading this production is director and writer Rob Lieberman, who technically conned his own father into funding this circus in hopes of making a quick and easy buck by cashing in to the cult success of slasher movies at that time; cinematographer Danny McLaughlin shares with his bestfriend and soundman Billy Zito his desires to do more than just commercials and low budget horror movies, thus accumulating a bit of jealousy towards the team's special effects wiz Tommy Bottin, who has doors of opportunities opening up for him after being featured in magazines like Fangoria and Cinemafantasque; Tommy, in turn, is considered a creep by some of the crew for crushing hard on the movie's leading actress, Adrianne Heather Curtis, who went from being household name famous to infamous after more than one unsavory articles written about her private life, resulting to a lack of work. 

The rest of the gang are Larry Lerner, Ben Tramer, Connie Conners and Laura Sommers, actors and actresses who all just wanted to get this last day of filming done so they can chill out, make the beast with two backs, or move on to the next acting gig. All the while Arnold Lebowitz, who's playing the titular Mountaintop Madman, is there to bring jokey vibes and be committed to his work as a lardy cannibal killer. And then there's Tony Reynolds. Stunt coordinator. In charge of the explosives to be used for the movie's explosive finale. Running a tad behind schedule and acting really sketchy and ominous by the time he finally shows up. Adrianne's lover.

In the midst of this movie-making misadventure, at a cave nearby the site, lives a family of three mythological beasts, the last of their kind; the adults know of the danger humans pose over them so they do their best to be left unseen and alone, but the youngest of them all have grown curious of the bells and whistles these interlopers brought along, luring it close to their set. Unbeknownst to the little one, as well as most of the crew, something wasn't right. Something was done to an FX shot that not only ends up with a charred body, but also the death of the male beast's loved ones.

And then, as the book said: 'All hell broke loose'.

From that point on, The Bloody Tracks of Bigfoot goes full gear on the creature feature-cum-slasher flick thrills and spills as the now vengeful Bigfoot unleashes a torrent of pain and suffering towards the film crew, brawling with some, massacring the others. Intriguingly, this gruesome fiasco also brings out the worst from our doomed gang as Rob and Danny loses their marbles at the fact that Bigfoot exists and decided together that raw footage of a cryptid attack is better than no footage at all, thus paying it all in blood, while a few of the actors start to fight and betray one another reasons both sinister and petty. So the tension is written astonishingly high around this act, both from the brutality of the monster's attacks and, too, the uncertainty of who among the thespians are trustworthy or not; A LOT of the murders here have so much vivid gory details on them, my inner gorehound was more than just satisfied. It was quenched! Like, for real, it's like reading kills from any one of Adam Greene's Hatchet movies! And devolution of a once chummy film production down to a horrifying battle for survival simply spells a captivating read as the it does beg you to question where all of this is going now that almost every man and woman are out for themselves, with each chapter paced for a speedy read and ending on good hooks before jumping to the next one.  

My only qualms here is that a few twist reveals feel a tad unnecessary, especially one example which does fall into spoiler territories but I will at least say that it added nothing to the overall direction, just more excuse to pen down a gory demise. The cynical mean-spiritedness of it all may not sit too kindly for some readers as well, but, for me, there is something quite astonishing from fact that almost all of the characters were made into unlikeable douches at the end and the only one you get to feel for in some way is the killer Bigfoot as you do get to understand why he's this pissed off towards these humans. This stunt does cheapen a lot of the formerly fleshed out characters into meat bags deserving of being torn in half, yes, but when the payoff is a great read of mayhem and disturbing fates, I does help not to take this book too seriously and just enjoy The Bloody Tracks of Bigfoot as the hammy, bloody horror novel that it is.

The story ends on an admittedly disturbing note, one that punches the right cards for shock and shlock, fitting right well with the absurd craziness of this Bigfoot attack /backwoods slasher story. That being said, The Bloody Tracks of Bigfoot is a fun neat read if you love a bad creature feature and the bloodiest of bodycounter flicks, one that's packed with feisty fromage and a bitter streak on the side. Should you ever find yourself with some time to kill and read B-grade cryptid horror, why not give this page-turner a try? 

Bodycount: 15

Notable Kill: Honestly, it's hard to pick just one. But if I do have to pick one, it has to be that one guy who fought Bigfoot, only to be humbled by the creature not once, but TWICE! I wouldn't say much what happened, but all I could say is that after bearing so much of that guy's cockiness, I am just glad we got the hairy fella recreating a kill from Madman (1981), only with a few more muscles and organs strewn around~

Winter Wonder Alien Massacre: The Visitor (2020 Novella)

The Visitor

Author: Sergio Gomez

Publication Year: 2020

Chapters: 20

Rating: ***

In this little tale of holiday horrors, we take a step into a familiar set-up of strangers being brought together at a single place to take shelter from nature's wrath, only to discover someone or something lurking around is out to kill them. 

The Visitor starts the pages at a diner during Christmas Eve where its owner Sal, regulars Kaito and Ichiko Takahasi, and traveling poet Moshe Janovsky have been keeping each other company as Indiana's worst snowstorm covers the road in inches of thick snow. They're soon joined by Xavier and his Collie, Norman, who just survived an accident that had their car crashing at a barricade, as well as truck driver Santiago Sanchez whose rig couldn't handle the now-slippery road. With hot food and drinks to go around, a generator keeping everyone warm and a football game playing on the TV, the group make the best out of their predicament by talking about mundane things and share a little bit about themselves. Until, that is, a lone tree branch outside snapped into falling unto a power pole and taking the lines with it, sending the diner into pitch darkness and shivering cold.

And it is around this time that the group would soon know that there is another visitor joining them. A hunter and its hound out to stalk and prey on a few specimens that just happen to be stranded inside a diner...

As slasher story, Sergio Gomez done an equitable enough job of keeping his novella a fun and breezy read by keeping the story easy to digest and with the right amount of popcorn entertainment as any good bodycount horror should be. It's basically your standard cat-and-mouse hunt, straight to the point towards its thrills and kills once the titular visitor starts to make their rounds on killing these innocent people, only the catch here is that our killer is an alien, down to the space suit and helmet, armed with a space rifle to go along its knife and even tagged along its own tamed creature which is supposed to be a hound of sorts. Even if this is far from anything new (Without Warning (1980), Predator (1987) and Almost Human (2013), for example), this is still an intriguing turn for anyone wanting more than just another average escaped loonie terrorizing people in their slasher stories, though I do wished the author gave us a little more detail as to the motive behind this thing's hunt as the story only went as far as telling us what it does with the bodies, but not what for.

The book did fairly with its character introductions and how it crafted their little predicament with the unfavorable weather, vividly describing the sheer coldness and unforgiving barrage of snowfall with brooding wordplay which adds to the intensity and atmosphere of the eventual attacks. Not much in terms of developing its casts seeing the length of the story, though Gomez did pen the kills and the ensuing carnage descriptive enough to vividly visualize the stalk and stab/shoot action and whatever gruesome gore and horrors that go with it, thus maintaining itself to be an engaging read on a good level. 

Though, again, it doesn't offer anything new to the slasher subgenre, The Visitor is a fun read for anyone who wants a quick and easy horror short to indulge in, one that delivers cold chills and classic kills with a simple scifi aftertaste!

Bodycount: 6 

Notable Kill: A gnarly laser shot to the head courtesy of a space rifle. Apart from that, we also got poor fella who got their head bitten off by a large critter!

Gory Gory Youth Group Camp: Sardines (In The Dark) (2023 Novella)

Sardines (In The Dark)
Author: Judith Sonnet
Publication Year: 2023
Chapters: 10
Rating: ***1/2

Sometimes you just want to relax with a good story without going through an essay's worth of pages just to finish a single chapter. Sometimes you just feel like getting a quick read for a good shot of fantastical entertainment in one sitting before readying ourselves for a full day ahead. Often at times I find myself very busy balancing business with pleasure, thus a cheap paperback novella such as this gore-soaked nightmare is just what the horror doctor ordered for a fun-sized page-turner.

The story follows the young members of an evangelical-free church's youth group enjoying their Fall Break retreat at some rented cabins in the woods when one of their newest members suggests a new game for them to play; Sardines, were one person hides while the others look for them in the dark and whoever finds the hider have to hide with them. Last person to find the group would be "it" on the next round. The kids are excited to play the game, save our protagonist, fifteen-year old Kylie, who really isn't getting into the vibe of playing what's technically hide-and-seek in the dark, but she felt a tad more daring that night to give it a try since her bestfriends Jackie and Harold are joining, too.

Unbeknownst and unfortunately for this youth group, something else decided to join the game. Something hulking and powerful. Something twisted with a crazed smile. Something with a taste for warm flesh.

Originally published by its author as a part of an out-of-print collection of horror shorts titled Your God Can't Save You, Sardines (In The Dark) is an unrelenting example of splatterpunk horror fiction in its prime, vividly describing extreme torture and gore through out the pages while taking the time to tackle religious horror centering on traumatic upbringings and uncertainties. Being a novella, however, the book doesn't dive too deep into its religious subtexts and it's mostly used here to slightly flesh out the characters for a paragraph or two before they're pounded to death with a mallet, or give the antagonist a cliched motive behind the massacre. No, the book strongly focuses more on style over substance, more on shock factor and visceral exploitation as not only do the murders go on brutal lengths wording the bodily destructions, but a few of these kills were also done to awfully young victims and the killer even indulges in some really screwed-up shit like wearing a severed head in a manner that's disturbingly and disgustingly perverse.

And speaking of, the book's monstrous villain is certainly quite a disturbing aberration, described as a near-naked muscular freak cloaked in nothing but a rain slicker, bearing a misshapen head, red eyes, almond-shaped teeth and an amazing display of strength. It's revealed to be non-human way too early into the book but, considering the novella is aiming to capitalize on brutality, I wouldn't be surprised if it was done that way to give the writer more opportunity to pen about the creature's terrifying penchant for mutilating victims through sheer strength. It doesn't dilly-dally on getting the ball rolling, too, with the gore quota starting as soon as the second chapter introduces the story's murderous being and its blunt weapon of choice, steadily going through one victim to the next in a consistent pace and an unwavering savage tone, eventually leading to a few interesting curveballs such as who's actually behind the killing spree, as well as the true nature of the killer which is, admittedly, creepy. 

Sardines (In The Dark) never really went anywhere beyond its basic supernatural slasher plotting of groups splitting up and finding reasons to walk into spooky spots in the dark only to be horribly killed by an abomination, but it does make up for it with an effectively violent direction and a good flair of traumatizing writing. It's not for the faint of heart, but if you think you have a strong stomach for nightmarish splatter and gross killers, then I say give this one a read! 

Bodycount: 12

Notable Kill: "He felt the wooden mallet slam between his legs with so much force that it scooted him back toward the wall. The mallet was lifted and brought down again. Its wooden rim detonated his testicles against the dirt floor. He felt his left ball mash into a squirting paste in his jeans. The other seemed to crawl out from its skin sheath," 

And that's just the beginning for this poor chap. Not to mention this is just the first kill from of the entire novella!

Return to Kettle Springs: Clown in a Cornfield 2: Frendo Lives (2022)

Clown In A Cornfield 2: Frendo Lives
Author: Adam Cesare
Publication Year: 2022
Chapters: 30 (Epilogue included)
Rating: ***

Quinn Maybrook, Cole Hill and Rust Vance. The Baypen Three. It's been some time after they survived the Kettle Spring Massacre, the orchestrated attack at a small Missouri town committed by its radicalized adults who made it their mission to cleanse their community of its "blighted youths", and all our survivors wanted to do now is move on from that nightmare, figuratively and literally. But as word of the massacre spreads all over media and the truth becomes lost the further it goes, it made way not only to unexpected (and for some, unwanted) fame for Quinn, Cole and Rust, but also to internet conspiracy theorists attempting to twist the narrative to their own version of events wherein the three are painted as the masterminds behind the massacre.

Now heroes to some and villains to others, the Baypen Three see themselves getting praises and disgust from wherever they go and whoever they meet, but things are about to become deadly as they and their loved ones are suddenly targeted by what looks like coordinated attacks by goons wearing familiar looking clown masks. Knowing that the threat is far from over, Quinn, Cole and Rust must go back to Kettle Springs, Missouri, where there awaits something far more sinister than what they could've ever imagined.

In true horror sequel fashion, Clown in a Cornfield 2: Frendo Lives aims to outdo its predecessor and it does so by shaking the very foundation it itself built in order to widen its world and explore it further. Much like the first book, this sequel novel took its time establishing the lives of our main casts after surviving such a horrendous event. It is here we see notable angles being approached such as PTSD, the pros and cons of media attention and criticisms on violent extremism and mob mentality through out the internet and social media, a whole baggage of heavy ideas that's ripe exploited in a slasher plot, though done here in a much more creative swing. 

In fact, Frendo Lives is more of a up and up slasher hybrid rather than a straight-up slasher story; while we do get a couple of slasher flick style stalkings, attacks and murders, these mostly taking place within the first half of the novel and with great effect, they would eventually play second bananas to what will gradually become something of a melting pot of chases and sieges ala Purge sequel as the town of Kettle Springs devolves into a warzone invaded by radical types with a warped sense of "justice". It's mostly braindead fun, graphic descriptions of violence and murders coinciding with a lot of the wit and snark young adult horrors tend to have, though at times it paints a serious picture showing how media, especially social media, often trivialized true crime and many people would suck it dry for clout or blindly follow radicalized ideas surrounding it if it meant comfort or self-righteousness rather than face the facts. 

It's a tough dose of satire, one that holds a lot of weight in this day and age of vlogs, internet forums and online communities, but writer Adam Cesare thankfully knew how to balance it out with horror fiction filled with clown masked maniacs, unsettling imagery of shootouts and descriptive splatter, topped with flawed yet likeable characters, both old and new, brewing up good ole drama in the midst of it all. My only qualm here is that the conclusion felt lacking; without spoiling a lot, the whole town being sieged thing simply just ended once the tide started to turn against them. With all the damage they dealt, I expected something equally as grandeur, but we're instead given an epilogue where one of the survivors tell us what happened afterwards before concluding with a very cliched sequel bait. An underwhelming finish in my mind, but it could have been worse.

While the first Clown in a Cornfield is an easily favorable slasher fiction that one can enjoy as a standalone novel, Frendo Lives serves as a welcome follow-up should you ever see yourself wanting more of the Baypen Three's as horror survivors. Fast paced and savagely thrilling, another fantastic read for literary horror fans!

Bodycount: 11(?*) 

Notable Kill: A very graphic razor wire murder. Like, the book didn't stint on the excruciating detail of flesh and bone being sawed away. Had me wincing the way I did during that scene from Audition (1999). 

(*Have to leave out a few survivable attacks, like that one guy who got a baseball bat to the face. The book never specified if any of these victims were straight-out killed, so I'm not counting them.)

Jesus Christ, Slasher Star: I Know What You Did Last Supper (2013)

I Know What You Did Last Supper

Author: Wayne Williams and Darren Allan

Publication Year: 2013

Chapters: 73 Including Epilogue

Rating: ****1/2

I first read about this book a year or so before I graduated college, the same time in my life where I had a religious crisis and ultimately changed from a Catholic to a proud religious skeptic. It was also the time I was rediscovering my love for slasher movies, old and new, so needless to say it was a match made in "heaven" and I fell in love with the daringness of this book's concept. I didn't get the chance to read it until very recently, however, and let me tell you all that it was a decade-long wait worth it!

In its pages, I Know What You Did last Supper follows the infamous apostle who betrayed Jesus Christ to the Romans for thirty pieces of silver, Judas Iscariot, though painted in a more sympathetic light; after learning that his uncle Gideon got himself in a spot of gambling trouble and now owes a sizable sum to a brutal ex-Gladiator, Judas decided to secretly meet up with Caiaphas, a Sanhedrin high priest who just so happens to be willing to pay silver in exchange of Jesus' whereabouts. Believing his friend and teacher can easily escape capture considering the godly miracles he performed, Judas uneasily agrees with Caiaphas' terms and leads the high priest and his men to Jesus.

Only Jesus didn't fend off his captors and, long story short, he got whisked away to a gruesome trial where he is tortured, humiliated and eventually crucified, dying no soon after.

Horrified of what he have done, Judas tries to reason his guilt away with the matter that he did it to save a loved one. However, much to his further distress, it turns out his betrayal was all for nothing when upon meeting his uncle, he discovers that the man was able to pay off his gambling debts by selling some of his own belongings. With his mentor dead from his own actions and his fellow apostles suspecting him as the one responsible for Christ's capture, Judas has nowhere to go but back to his friends and family, some grew estranged from him after he became a follower of Christ, others just glad to have their beloved companion back.

No matter where the guilty Iscariot goes, unfortunately, torment will follow him and, soon, his loved ones as well; one by one, they will all fall victim to the hands of a madman. A madman with a vicious streak and a lust for carnage. A madman who believes in the words "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth". A madman who knows what Judas did last supper...

I Know What You Did Last Supper is, frankly, the net result if you cross a somewhat accurate and consistent historical fiction set in Biblical times with the gory offerings of a modern day slasher exploitation and even a bit of murder mystery thriller. While it took some liberties in its portrayal of ancient Jerusalem as it more or less transpositions slasher and horror cliches to its period, it does bring out some creative and intriguing perspectives as to how some Biblical characters would've reacted and felt after the death of Christ which, in turn, leads to a lot of interesting characterization and development. 

Judas, for one, is portrayed here as actually proud to be one of Jesus' disciples and sincerely believes in the man's teachings, which makes his regrets and forlornness understandable and relatable. For a decent amount of chapters, we pretty much follow the Iscariot stressing over the fact he technically sentenced the Son of God, his closest friend, to death and that his only means of possible solace could be to just run away from it all. Add in a lively and colorful set of characters from Judas' circle of friends, family and foes and we practically have a good line-up for a bloody misadventure once the first two kills jump-start the very meat of the plot.   

As a slasher literature, the book delivers and then some; with selected chapters dedicated to a murder or two (or three), it racks up a nice bodycount and quite a build-up for each. The writing goes carnally descriptive with its violence, though there are a few that were ironic for that taste of dark humor while others benefit from being as gruesome and harrowing at how extreme and torturous they can get. And, as the title implies, there's a mystery regarding the identity of the killer who announces their knowledge of Judas' secret through ominous writing in blood and a few suspects do get thrown around; some of these eventually become red herrings as any good twisty mystery would and a great deal of suspicion falls on very interesting possible culprits including the high priest who gave Judas his thirty silver (and apparently has a very dark secret he is willing to do anything to keep quiet about) and Jesus Christ himself. (Yes, they went there)

Up until the last act, I Know What You Did Last Supper makes all the smart and fun moves, each twists and turns leading to a shocking surprise and splatter-filled slayings. It's around the finale where the novel kinda falters a bit as we get a reveal that's somewhat fascinating, only to be downgraded by yet another curveball that would have been good if it didn't read like a last minute addition. Thankfully, this is really just a small smudge in an otherwise thrilling roller coaster of a horror fiction that wonderfully blends exploitative mayhem with earnest yet curious Biblical world-building. With rich characters, insane horror set-pieces and engaging whodunit plotting, I say, fellow slasher fans, give this one a read if you get the chance to pick it up, for God's sake!  

Bodycount: 21

Notable Kill: Oh Lord, there are plenty: We have a steamhouse massacre involving fellows getting cooked in boiling pools, their necks broken or have themselves pushed into furnaces. There's an unsettling break-in wherein a mother and a daughter gets attacked, one repeatedly cut while the other gets forced-fed with blood until they choke. And then there's that darkly hilarious dental appointment involving "tooth worms", a hammer and a knifed hand.

Oh, and we have a case of literal "coïtus interruptus" that got a bit too woody. Can't forget a staple slasher trope!

Lives And Deaths In Osborne, Nebraska: There's Someone Inside Your House (2017)

There's Someone Inside Your House
Author: Stephanie Perkins
Publication Year: 2017
Chapters: 29
Rating: ****

Welcome to Osborne, Nebraska. Population of twenty-six hundred. 

Or, at least it was.

It's been almost a year since Hawaiian-born Makani Young moved to this small town and all she wanted is to live a life of normalcy accompanied by new close friends and a loving grandmother, as well as finishing her high school senior year without her dark past coming back to haunt her. But when news broke out that one of her classmates was found with her throat slaughtered and her eyes slashed into grotesque "dead cartoon eyes" one morning, Makani finds herself in the middle of the dilemma when she decided to rekindle her relationship with Oliver "Ollie" Larsson, her lonesome pink-haired Summertime fling and possible suspect.

With Ollie having a bit of a reputation, one that involves ghastly rumors about his parents' demise, it isn't much of a surprise that Makani's friends are uneasy with him just looming around her. But do they know him as well as she does? Or has Makani's budding romance towards the boy blinded her from the possibility that he could be a vile murderer? As more bodies pile up, it's only a matter of time before Makani learns the truth behind these killings and that she might be the only one to stop it.

With a tone screaming pure 90s slasher nostalgia, There's Someone Inside Your House is author Stephanie Perkins' first stroll in penning an impressively violent teen horror after her line young adult romance novels, merging coming-of-age teenage drama with bodycounting nightmares in an attempt to flesh out its characters and build up the intrigue surrounding the murders. It's a direction that comes with a double edge as after the tension-building first murder, the story halter itself into a bit of a slump as we focus greatly around Makani's relationship issues with (one of) the town misfits; a bit of romance adds layers to the plot and it gives our leading characters their likable charm and depth, yes, but a long while of this nearly made the plot looking a tad like another romantic shindig only with a side of slasher horror.

Fortunately, once the murders start rearing up again, the plot picks up in a speedy and entertaining pace as a couple of chapters are dedicated to the morbidity and creepiness of the killer's attacks, written with a flair of brutal dismemberments and visceral slayings, accompanied with effectively distressing mind games done to toy and unnerve its unfortunate victims. It's around these parts we also get to know more about Makani's hidden past and how it intertwines with her present state as a potential target to a killer who's doing well enough to evade capture. As much as it adds a bit of mystery and edge to the situation, I better enjoyed the fact that the developments within these parts got rocky and tested, yet ending with Makani and her friends and lover bonding stronger to form a firm little group racing against time to stop a killer from claiming more lives.

Curiously, the last third of the book is where the whodunit ploy gets swapped out with a more manic stalk-and-prowl act wherein the killer is revealed not just to us, but also to the main casts, and yet our psycho continues their rampage, slaying as many as possible while the whole town searches for them. It's one of the best turns the story could've made and the resulting carnage is as exciting as it is gruesome, plus the thrill of knowing the killer yet unsure where they'll strike next is a whole ballpark of satisfactory horror reading! 

For what it is, There's Someone Inside Your House is an interesting addition to horror literature and a fun, quick read for slasher fans who hopefully wouldn't mind a lot of make-out sessions before and after a bloody good kill. While it may not necessarily add anything new, it's a good story that you can't put down, especially once that hunting knife gets wielded and the town of Osborne gets to know the face of true madness!

Bodycount: 6

Notable Kill: In context, this is a simple kill with some laughable imagery, but an entire chapter was built around the murder of a football player contemplating whether he is suffering from CTE (Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy) or not. The details written about his panic, confusion and distress just made the entire thing a lot more cathartic. I feel for the dude...

Never Leave A Frendo Behind: Clown In A Cornfield (2020)

Clown In A Cornfield
Author: Adam Cesare

Publication Year: 2020
Chapters: 31 (Epilogue included)
Rating: ****

With hopes of starting fresh after the recent death of her mother, high school senior Quinn Maybrook finds herself moving out of the big city Philadelphia life to settle in Kettle Springs, Missouri with her father after he accepted a job there as the resident doctor. She is quickly taken in by a gang of misfits led by one Cole Hill after their science teacher suddenly goes mental on them on her first day at the town's high school, learning about the growing animosity between the town's youths and elders from this outburst, as well as from a brief incident at a local diner.

When a Founder's Day celebration goes disastrous after a prank gone wrong, however, it seems someone in town thought enough is enough, that these kids are out of control and they need to be taught a lesson they'll never ever forget; dressed as a certain porkpie hat-wearing town mascot Frendo the Clown, the killer stabs, slices and shoots their way through the town's youthful residents and all those who get in the way, which spells nothing but bloodshed and a possible end for Quinn as she'll soon see herself caught in this maniac's madness.

A gutsy take on a young adult horror novel, Clown In A Cornfield holds nothing back in regards to its bodycount horror and social commentary with its talks of small town poverty and generation conflict, before landing itself in an array of vile murders and an admittedly dark twist. The book basically sectioned itself in two halves to achieve this, doing a solid job taking its time to build around the situation of Kettle Springs as a place and community first, with vivid descriptions of crumbling facilities, rural politics and old folks spouting about the good old days when their home is still flourishing. This often trails into the mischievous yet well-intentioned and very informative banters between Quinn's new acquaintances as they bring up a bit of the town's history and hint past troubles that may or may not lead to the carnage later. 

It does take a while to get things going, in turn. Varying portions of certain chapters give way into developing the character or characters involved, mostly delving into Quinn's thoughts on her situation as the new girl around town and her attempts to get past her mother's passing. The writing done for these segments shed a good amount of sympathetic light to whoever the chapter's focusing on (some more than the others) but, in typical slasher fashion, once the town's secretive Founder's Day party gets held, the book mostly drops this in-depth look into rural life and teen conflict to eventually shift its gears to a more adrenaline-rushed pace, chaotically running down as much death and mutilation as possible in written format.

Without giving away much, the killings in this second half are linked to a conspirator who wants to weed out what they see as blighted youths to make Kettle Springs "great again". It starts out with your classic masked slasher stalkings and standard set of murders, but it soon breaks down into something more of a survivalist horror thriller as the kill count doubles in digits and teens start dying left and right in what looks like an active shooter scenario perpetrated by a creepy clown, undoubtedly the book's most unforgettable scene. This escalates even further to an unexpected turn that warrants a lot of shotgun-totting and even more bodies piling up, a reveal that, while not overly original (I can name two to three movies that this twist reminds me of), still deserves some merits for how well it was pulled off, putting great care into detailing the attacks and tying these set-pieces into the town's problems, both real and surmised, wonderfully. It all leads to finale that has us reading what I can best describe as a back-to-back villain monologue, a "boss fight" with guns and an epilogue that teases a possible new wave of slashing, a couple of moves that definitely echo the hammier side of slasher horror but still channeling a decent amount of grimness for just how insane and dark it is.  

From cover to cover, Clown In A Cornfield is a guaranteed page-turner of a slasher novel that delivers what it promises and more. It has the sensibilities of a 90s horror flick and the carnal homage to bloody 80s bodycounters, topped with new age teen theatrics and a bleak look into small town Americana. Again, for a young adult horror fiction, this is unrelentingly fun in a violent, old school horror way and I couldn't want it in any other way. If you have the chance to grab a copy of this at your local bookstores (or, have it in your eBook collection like moi!), don't you dare hesitate! 

Or feel the wrath of a chainsaw-wielding Frendo!

Bodycount: 20+

Notable Kill: A shocking crossbow massacre with multiple victims. The sheer chaos of this spree spreads throughout multiple chapters and the vivid details of the kills elevate the brutality of it all. 

And They Fear The Hubby: Night-World (1972)

Night-World
Author: Robert Bloch
Publication Date: 1972
Chapters: 25
Rating: ***

From the very first page, you'll read what describes a brutal murder involving a knife being stabbed into a throat. It's not overly detailed, but beautifully described in its simplicity; thus forcing me to head on and read what will be my very first non-franchise slasher novel. (Or my second if one would consider Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None as a slasher novel)

From the author of Psycho, Night-World is best summarized as a proto-slasher in book form, revolving around an asylum break-out wherein one of the five escapees happens to be very violent, evident from the four murdered staffs they left from the attack. In comes Karen Raymond, who saw the bloody aftermath and is now under the custody of the local police who questions her regarding her husband Bruce, one of the escaped nutcases. When Bruce turns out to be a disturbed Vietnam vet, he, of course, becomes the investigation's lead suspect, thus putting Karen in a terrifying dilemma and fears what would become of her and her husband should he be proven responsible for the massacre, a crime that's getting harder to disprove when the escapees start getting murdered one by one.

A relatively short affair, Night-World fattens its otherwise swift story with flowery descriptions of its characters' psyches and thoughts, most prominent being the killer's as they share to us what they believe is wrong with the world, and too Karen's whenever she contemplates about how guilty her husband really is. These mind-plays are usually huddled along with the leading investigation towards the killer's possible identity (the records were burnt during the escape) and location, toying around with the reader's expectations though, in occasion, at the cost of hobbling the story down from the overall drama.

Selected chapters are dedicated in building up the murders, some focusing solely on the victim's backstory first (if not providing witty observations of contemporary 70s culture on the side) before ending it with their demise. Details surrounding these deaths are usually written in simplicity and lacking much ferocity and bloodshed one may expect from a slasher fiction, but the imagery shaped by Bloch's writing are vivid enough to create some kind of achievable impact, may it be for suspense or violence.

Once the suspects thin down to a few familiar names, Night-World dabbles its last acts within pure thriller territory as investigators and suspects alike are roped into a twist where someone is not who they claim to be and cheesy monologuing expositions are a must. This leads to an ending that felt a bit rushed, leaving us with one character injured and another headless from an accidental decapitation after a brief brawl, but I can honestly say the book could have ended much worse and the hamminess of it all was worth a few chuckles for how theatric it is.

Though undoubtedly no classic, Robert Bloch's Night-World is a fun fast-paced read for slasher fanatics who wouldn't mind taking a simple walk down familiar roads. Its stern yet colorful wordplay built character and a sly black-hearted charm that only fair murder mysteries can muster.

Bodycount: 11
Notable Kill: A dog owner gets the surprise of his life when his beloved dobermans jump at him and maul him to death. What caused the attack is rather ingenious.

The Maine Attraction: You Can't Kill Stephen King (2010)

You Can't Kill Stephen King (2010)

Rating: ***

Starring:  Monroe Mann, Ronnie Khalil, Crystal Arnette

Stephen King is the least I would expect to be involved in a slasher, may it be written or filmed. While some of the shorts he wrote did have the bodycount ring to it, when it comes to straight teen-killings, he's just too complex for something quite as easy. (the film version of Silver Bullet is the closest to being a slasher. Watch it and you'll see all the clichés there.)

Now with this being brought to light, it's likely to say that we will never expect the Master Storyteller to take a jab at this sub-genre, but does this mean we will never see a straight Stephen King slasher? Not entirely, You Can't Kill Stephen King afterall!

Six teens are on a mini van roadtrip to locate and tour the home town of Mr. King, although their main goal once they get there differs for each; Ronnie is an avid SK fan and perhaps the only one in the group who's excited to see the storyteller's town as the rest of his buddies, Iraq vet-slash-jock Monroe, the sisters Lori and Hilary, Nicole the slut and token black dude Lamont are only interested in having fun on the lake or with each other.

Once they reach the town however, the locals were not too kind with outsiders who utter Stephen King's name, quickly dismissing them, warding them off town or just simply acting like jerks to the kids. Not that it matters for most of the gang (except Ronnie) but it goes for the worse when someone starts to bump them off dead, one clichéd character at a time.

Okay, so technically this is a slasher that pays tribute to Stephen King in a manner that only a low-budget film can afford. The gimmick here is that the murders are supposed to be based on killings from selected King's stories but, if you look at it, they're easily passed off as average murders that many other horror titles had done before. A few examplse of this are a hammer murder that was supposedly based on the twist in the short story The Man who Loved Flowers, and another involving a dead body found with its mouth stuffed with sand, which was a nod to the short Beachworld.

While it brings me joy that this movie pays a little bit more attention to King's more obscure stories, I can't help but think that, with a little more budget, this film could had done better murder-tributes to save itself seeing that, separating this catch of an idea from the actual movie, you're basically left with another backwoods slasher-comedy with cheesey characters and hokey plot holes. It's not really terrible, it's just that You Can't Kill Stephen King felt like a missed opportunity, a movie with something creative to offer if it wasn't for the monetary restrictions.

Then again, it's terrible in a sense it's laughable and while the intended comedy is a hit-and-miss, you can still get a few chuckles along the way in its attempt, making this a good movie to see if your tolerance to the cheddar is amazing! It's a movie made out of passion and respect, humble at its best to keep up glued for a while and just let us have a good time. It gets a little weird at times but it sure is fun as heck!

Far from the deep, terrifying, wondrous amalgam of everything you love and know about the man from Maine, You Can't Kill Stephen King is definitely a package of hammy lines and good ole' dead teen antics with a fairly decent twist. Recommended for King fans with a humor!

 

Bodycount:

1 female bashed on the face with a shovel

1 male gets his throat cut with a knife, slaughtered

1 female brained to death with hammer

1 female found dead with a mouth full of sand

1 female thrown off from height, falls to her death

Total: 5

Herman's Top Zombie Moments

I've been doing a lot of slasher reviews in this little blog of mine lately, and I want to spice it up with something different.

For those who doesn't know, I was an avid zombie fan before I rekindled my love for slashers, and I've seen only a few at a young age (twelve...or thirteen) before I get to broaden up my collection as an adult (who somehow retains his original 5'2" height for the last five years...) Til' then, I recall all of the time I present KFC chicken as human hearts and drew my own zombie designs, to the point my parents worry about me. Well, not exactly ashamed but I did get to regulate my obsession, but I think it's best to share my love for these shambling undead with this list!

In here are my fave zombie moments, with no particular order, from a wide array of media from films to comic books to novels; now, be ready with your shotguns, and aim for the head, cuz your brother Hermann is gonna give you (his first, but definitely not the last) list fave zombie moments!

~Return of the Living Dead (1984) Use Brains to Get Brains- Starting our list is the punk-rock zombie classic from the 80s, and one of the few earliest I've seen via video. We often stereotype lumbering and talking zombies as those that hungrily obsesses for brains, but had any of them ever get to the point of using their own to get some? The chemical-tainted ghouls from this film comically exploited this variation by talking over ambulance and squad car dispatchers, fooling whoever is on the other end to "send more cops/paramedics".

Even better? On a certain point of the film, they even learned to ambush their prey by dressing up as cops! Now that's brain food!

~ Dawn of the Dead (2004) It Happened in your neighborhood- The first film to introduce "runners" to my zombie life, this commercially successful remake of a splatter classic of the same name certainly knew how to start a film. While giving us little hints of what could be the beginning of the end, the next morning came with the most chaotic zombie outbreak I've seen in years, with explosive traffic, killer children and (in some version) random nudie shots. Oh, and the gore. Definitely the gore!

~ Day of the Dead (1985) Breached- Lo and Behold, my personal fave George A. Romero zombie flick, and probably my all time underrated fave. Childhood memories had me loving every minute of this film but not as much as the gut-munching climax.

After sacrificing his own life for reasons I've yet to understand, a troubled soldier lead an entire army of the shambling dead into a sealed-off military bunker, leading to every jerks trapped inside being munched away in gleefully gory fashion and deserving survivors fighting for their lives. Showcasing the best of what special effects wiz Tom Savini could offer, this scene wins with no zombies "chocking on anyone" and humans being torn apart.

~ Night of the Living Dead (1990) "Is he Dead?!"- In risk of angering fans out there, I really prefer the remake over the original for many reasons, but let me show you my favorite among said reasons: directed by Tom Savini, this remake's version of Barbara had fully transformed from a traumatized and doomed damsel, to a traumatized yet fully functional gun-totting heroine who may have saved everybody else given that they'd listen to her. ("They're so slow. We could just walk pass by them!")

To even re-initiate this claim further, one scene here had Barbs scream at a panicking girl who doesn't seem to understand that those pale-eyed ghouls are dead, all the while shooting one of them all over the place before giving it a buck shot to the head.

~ Peter Jackson's Dead Alive/Braindead (1992) Dining With Monsters and The Lawnmower Man- Two scenes made this New Zealand cult classic splatstick an instant fave for me, the first being our lead (and wimpy) hero Lionel in his attempt to calm down the growing number of zombies in his household by tying them unto chairs and, dig this, serve them pudding. Funny enough, it kinda worked, but the ghoul's child-like antics is still a hassle.

The second would be an all-time fave for all splatter fans; after completely devouring an entire household of party guests, the zombie population quadrupled in Lionel's home. His solution? Strap a working lawnmower unto his chest and walk through an entire armada of the undead to shred them down into puree'.

~28 Weeks Later (2007) Leaving and Reuniting- While the 28 Days Later is a new age cult classic of its own right, its sequel undeniably bested it at almost everything. Two fave scenes of mine here focuses on family ordeal at its worst; after letting a helpless boy into their cottage, an Irish man, his wife and a group of survivors unknowingly grabbed the attention of some nearby infected, leading to the most intense opening act I've seen in a zombie film. It's chaotic, hectic and psychologically exhausting as a husband is forced to leave his wife behind to save his own arse.

Barely escaping, he spent the next few months preparing for the return of his kids, who were sent away to isolate them from the infection. What he didn't count on was that they'll find out the truth sooner than he imagined as they find her alive, yet unknowingly infected. What should be a tearful reunion instead ends up in bloodshed when a kiss infects one, and then another. And then another...

~Shaun of the Dead (2004) Drunk Mary and Kill the Queen- Perhaps the smartest and hippest "Rom-Com-Zom" to come in existence, a personal memorable scene would be the the time Simon Pegg and Nick Frost's buddy characters first face-to-face encounter with a zombie...though not the way we usually expect it; Mistaking an undead girl as a drunk, the two played with it a little (and even taking a quick snap) before they decided to go "physical" on her, shoving and impaling the girl into a pole, and then watches her get up to her feet as if it was nothing. NOW they get it!

Second would be a family favorite. Well, me and my sister's fave (she once watched it with me and loved it); after a fuck-up lured some zombies into the bar, one of them got inside and began attacking Shaun's crew. While there's a conveniently placed gun on the wall, he chooses a safer alternative: whack-a-zombie with pool sticks, all the while Queen's Don't Stop Me Now is playing. Fun times!

~Night of The Creeps (1986) Zombie Cat and Unearthing- A mash-up of scifi and zombies (with one instance of slasher), Creeps was a childhood fave of mine, a first to teach me that not all cats are friendly. Especially if they were ran over by a car and brought back to life by an parasitic slug.

Also, it's the first to teach me as well that in every wooden floorboard lies a reanimated body of a deranged axe murderer.

~[REC] (2007) The Thing in The Room- In this clasutrophobic found footage zombie film from Spain, darkness is your enemy. Not metaphorical darkness. Real darkness. Through the use of night vision imagery, [REC] reminds us effectively that there's still a reason to fear the dark...

~[REC2](2009) Prayers Worked- In a sudden plot twist, this sequel reveals to us *spoiler alert!* that the undead in these films are actually the physical symptoms of demonic possessions. Depending on how you take this, I still find the new angle to be quite cool, especially when a priest shows us a new and more badass use of prayers: as a mean of torture for demonic interrogation.

~Fido (2006) Zombie Saves the Day- In this heart warming tale of a boy and his dog- er, I mean, zombie, set in a 1950-esque world where the undead are sold as either pets or manservants, our lead lad finds himself and his zombie in trouble when a couple of neighborhood bullies try to make themselves look like heroes by binding him to a tree while they tamper on a special collar that keeps his zombie docile. It backfires inevitably, with both boys ending up dead and soon to revive, but Fido remembers his master and tries his best to get them off their current predicament. Not to worry, they did get out in time and the whole scene was just heartwarmingly adorable!

~Land of the Dead (2005) River of the Dead- Ah yes, another one of Romero's impressive follow-up, this time taking place in a more constructed yet ailing future where the living finds a way to wall themselves away from the dead. What they wasn't expecting, however, is that the dead are learning again, finding ways to get their much loved warm meat through any obstacles.

In one scene, in tribute to another horror classic The Carnival of Souls, zombies rises out of a river after learning that they can walk through it with no effect whatsoever. It's an impressive money shot for me, and one that's best remembered for a reason.

~Zombie/Zombi 2 (1979) Shark vs Zombi and Splintered- First scene I like to comment about from this Lucio Fulci classic has another zombie getting soaked. This time in the vastness of the sea, where one zombie somehow found his way underwater and on the prowl of a skinny dipping diver, only to fight for its meal against a shark. While the choreography and continuity with this one is a bit off (hehe, bit off!), it's still a memorable scene for its originality and cheesiness.

The second is another bonafide money shot. You know all this, and this is perhaps the only good reason for the film to market "barf-bags": one zombie grabs a hapless victim by the hair and then proceeds to pull her through the door and into a splinter. Did I mention this is by the eye? Yeah, slow eye gag. Makes you wonder why she didn't bother using her hands...

~Reanimator (1985) Giving a Head- As in literally; In this gory take on HP Lovecraft's short of the same name, a mad scientist by the name of Herbert West murders and then revives a dominating professor in two pieces as an experimental "research", not anticipating for the specimen to get out and goes on a molesting spree on his favorite voluptuous student. Obviously, being raped is a horrible thing, but by a disembodied head? That's new standards.

~ Slither (2006) A Good Reason to Shoot a Deer- "I still don't get the joy of a grown man shooting the face off a poor defenseless deer" Well Parley, now you know...

~ V/H/S/2's A Ride in The Park (2013) "I'm Sorry, were you Eating Me?"- Body language can be a funny thing for a zombie; it's there, but at the same time it ain't. But for a group of zombies in this awesome anthology (one of them we watch through his POV), nothing spells awkward like watching the meal you're munching on get up and stare right back at you with a blank look on his face.

~Army of Darkness (1992) Siege-When an army of the dead rises from the grave due to some moron's inability to memorize some magic words, it has to be the work of one Ashley J. Williams. But never fear, for the man with the steel chin has some tricks up his sleeve, bringing 20th century knowledge to a medieval timeline (which, come to think of it, is a risky move) to battle an army of bones in one epic siege!

~Cemetery Man/ Dellamorte Dellamore (1994) Badass Biker- Now, why didn't Psychomania (1973) had something like this? Returning from the grave after a roadside accident, an undead biker comes back with an entrance: riding the same bike he owned and buried with, to munch on a willing victim and lover. Yep, nothing wrong here, just a zombie eating a love-struck girl~

 

~Pontypool (2008) An Infectious Demonstration- In an imaginative variation of your usual zombie plague, Pontypool introduced zombies that must spread their infection through words. As in once you understood the word these crazies are saying, you might get the bug. One unfortunate girl caught this and shows us what will happen once the infection doesn't spread, in one incredibly tense and the film's bloodiest display.

~Zombieland (2009) "Is that how you say 'Hello?' "- Okay, not really a zombie zombie moment, but damn, this shit is funny as hell! Taking refuge in Bill Murray's mansion, two of the rag tag group of State-Monikered survivors meet up with a non-infected Murray, who found a way to live through the zombie crowd through the magic of make-up. Hoping to play a joke on the other two, Murray walked in on them in a fake zombified state...

 

 only to get shot.

Yeah, that's...that's just effin' tragic...*snickers*

 ~Trailer Park of Terror (2008) Rocking Roach- It's criminal for this film to be so little heard; with good gore and sick laughs, all we need now is awesome non-CG zombie designs to make it a worthwhile watch and instant cult fave!

And who to deliver that than the one and only Roach, a rock-a-billy undead with a love for drugs, who actually spends a good portion of his screen time  to prove that that rock-and-roll will never die. Literally!

~ Planet Terror (2007) "Cherry Bomb"- Never call a professional Go-Go Dancer a stripper in this Robert Rodrigues zombie mash-up, especially ones that have a high-powered rocket launchers for a leg. And for our viewing pleasure, she showed this through an entire platoon of "sickos", one infected bastard at a time!

~ Warm Bodies (2013) To Feel Alive- One of the few surprising zombie films I've seen that I owe an apology (I judged it as sappy before seeing the whole thing. Still is, but it's the bearable kind of sappiness!) I love the movie's original idea and R is just plain adorable as a zombie who had fallen in love with a living, breathing girl named Julie (Romeo and Juliet?)

In an effort to "protect" her from others like him, he planned on hiding Julie in his little room full of knick-knacks he collected, done through a cheesy montage of these two doing anything to pass the time. It's warm and cuddly, and I friggin luv it! (Plus, I wanted a place to crash just like that!)

~World War Z (2013) Tower of the Dead- Yeah, I don't know about the rest of youse, but I enjoyed WWZ. Yes, it's not a faithful adaptation of the book, but it is pretty darn entertaining as an action flick. The CG zombies actually looked pretty good, too (despite the minor complain about them having "googly eyes".

One scene has to be a standout; attracted by the religious singing of one group (Really? with zombies outside, them morons wanna have a party?), zombies began to pile up on one another until they began to create an impressive tower full of the writhing dead, resulting to a breach. Now if only we get to see that lady who started that singing being munched on by a zombie, this would be a lot better...

~Masters of Horror's Homecoming (2005) A Zombie Votes- A better entries to this amazing series, Homecoming had dead soldiers coming back to life not to feast on the flesh and brains of the living, but to vote!

Yes, vote for a new president in an attempt to stop more soldiers being brought into a war that might not even worth it. Love the political tone in this (even though politics STILL bores the hell out of me) and I just love the plot reveal here involving a rather calm zombie pointing his way into voting. I salute you, fat dude in khaki uniform!

~Treehouse of Horror III: Dial Z For Zombies (1992) "Flanders was a Zombie?"- One of the funniest shit to come out of The Simpsons. Guess in a time where the dead are coming back to life, might as well get rid of your neighbor. In front of your family...

~ Michael Jackson's Thriller (1983) The Undead Moves- If being a zombie means having funk-tastic dance moves, then let these guys munch on me! The King of Pop shows this in one impressively choreographed dance routine, all with its dancers in full costume! Long Live the King of Pop! As a Zombie!

~ Stephen King's Home Delivery (1989) The Thing that was a Husband- Perhaps King's first zombie short, an orbiting clod of worms somehow affected the Earth atmosphere, turning the dead into flesh hungry zombies. The short was an enjoyable read, but I definitely love the part when our narrator, Maddie Pace, recalls her first encounter with one. Chillingly, it was her own husband who had drowned years ago, complete with sea slugs eating their way through the flesh.

art by Skookworks Inc.

~ Stephen King's Cell  (2006)The Signal- Yet again another King work, this time from one of my first few of his novels that I finished. A mysterious phone signal had somehow affected everybody who heard it, turning them into raving zombie-like crazies who mauls anything, including their own. The opening act for this novel has to be the best, just to show that in any typical day, shit can just happen.

 

~ Marvel Zombies (2005-2006) Galactus Falls- Written by The Walking Dead's Robert Kirkman, an alternate reality had all of our fave Marvel superheroes and villains turned into zombies by an alien virus. No one was safe, not even a planet eating space god who kept on boasting that nothing can hurt him.

Well, say that to your disemboweled gut, Gal, which strangely, turns out you have one...

BONUS! FOR A FRIDAY THE 13TH POST!

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)- Who puts a list of fave zombie moments without including the revival of a horror star?

In a strange luck combining one angry surviving victim, a steel gate railing and a freak lightning strike (twice!), Jason finds himself brought back to life as a supernatural undead, hellbent on murder. Now immortal, the J-Man continues his spree as if nothing, and bringing us back what we loved the most about this freak! Long Live Jason Voorhees! AS A ZOMBIE!

HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13TH EVERYBODY! AND STAY SHAMBLING!