WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS BODYCOUNT. HIGH RISK OF SPOILERS. ENTER IF YOU DARE.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

80s Pink Stuff : The Blob (1988)

The Blob (1988 Remake)
rating:****
starring: Shawnee Smith, Donovan Leitch and Kevin Dillon

In 1988, things were fun when someone named Chuck Russell decided that some ten year old deserved to be eaten by an acidic alien blob.

Things were indeed fun when ole Russell, who hardcore fans would remember as the mastermind behind the ever popular Nightmare on Elm Street sequel "Dream Warriors" or the fair yet underrated haunted mansion slasher creeper "Hell Night", thought it was high-time to bring back the pink blob from hell. And he ain't just gonna bring it, he'll improved it.

It's nothing but the idyllic night in the 80s for a small, normally sleepy town somewhere in God blessed "U.S. of A.", it's football season and the cheerleaders are up and at it, a bad boy loner is back on town, kids are trying to sneak into R-rated slasher films and a meteorite carrying a small alien blob crash landed nearby. And who to see the latter first than a homeless derelict, who made a horrible mistake of poking the squishy thing with his mighty poop stick, making the thing dormant and hungry for his hand as it leaps into it with an agonizing fashion.

Then enter some kids who wanted to help the poor bastard, only, they failed to remove the blob and soon it consumed the feller's insides and grew to an immense size. From this point on, it's one blob attack to another when unsuspected teens and townfolks gets attacked by the killer slime after either going after it or just happens to be at the wrong place on the wrong time. Soon, the feds came in, who had more hidden intentions for the blob than a sinister minister. Things don't go their way, as usual, which leads to an all out blob-attack. 80S STYLE!

I honestly never liked the original Blob. It could be that I saw this one first and expected too much, but all can agree, this is more than an improvement we wanted to see. Everything about Blob 88 is fun. Good strong casts, nice special effects, strong soundtrack and one hell of a gore fest! It did everything it could to amp up the B-movie material of the 50s original to give something familiar and something new at the same time. We saw it all before, but the new hype of gore and cheese gave this film its popcorn-munchable goodness.

Being set in the year where slasher films are almost dead (by then), it's immensely influenced by the stalk and kill action of the subgenre, complete with a now more aggressive blob, who snatches, run after and creatively (and gorily) kills its victims. Gone was the slow-moving stop-motion pink blob that just so happens just devour anything that ends in its way, and hello splashier, bloodier, bone-crunching ways to kill and eat people, and it done good. Of course, it's still a monster movie to the bone, with the alien acid being the main star of the film, stealing every scene that features it. If the blob's there, you can expect something big's gonna happen.

Taking advantage to its new 80s setting, teen crazed at most, it rubbed a few humor to lighten up the mood and even done a few good jump scares and imaginative shocks. The only drawback I see here is that, despite it does have it's eerie mood from time to time, it never actually does anything to creep us out. It may literally gets under the skins of our victims, but for us, the viewers, it never was that creepy. Gross, gruesome, but never creepy. Another is the ending, the usual "leave it open for a sequel" ending that really don't do much to improve the film's finale, but I'm satisfied with the image of a traumatized (and presumably crazed) preacher holding an adowable jarred blobite.

It's not a slasher film, not at all, but The Blob 88 has so much 80s in it and a rather high and creative bodycount that it's fun for all, no matter what horror genre. Merciless alien + hot final girl + Cool final boy + messy, juicy killing= One hell of a monster movie. Good job 80s!

Bodycount:
1 male melted and devoured from the waist down by alien blob
1 male "blanketed" by alien blob, melted and devoured
1 female had her insides melted and devoured by alien blob
1 male devoured by alien blob
1 male forced and crushed in sinkhole, devoured by alien blob
1 male found inside alien blob
1 female crushed and devoured by alien blob
1 male killed with hedge-trimmer (film)
1 female killed with hedge-trimmer (film)
1 male seen being devoured by alien blob
1 male devoured by alien blob
1 male devoured by alien blob
1 male snared and devoured by alien blob
1 male found with half of his head melted by alien blob
A number of movie patrons were presumably killed by alien blob during theatre attack
1 boy devoured by alien blob, found melting
1 male devoured by alien blob
1 male devoured by alien blob offscreen
1 male alien blob went inside his protective suit, devoured
1 male crushed and devoured by alien blob
1 male taken and devoured by alien blob
1 male crushed and devoured by alien blob
1 male burned alive after alien blob blocked the nozzle of his flamethrower, immolated
A number of town folk, scientists and soldiers were presumably killed and devoured by alien blob offscreen
1 male folded in half and devoured by alien blob
1 male seen killed by alien blob
1 male seen dying, limbs melted
total: 25+

No comments:

Post a Comment