WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS BODYCOUNT. HIGH RISK OF SPOILERS. ENTER IF YOU DARE.

Friday, November 29, 2019

Ole' McDonald had a Punk: Maniac Farmer (2018)

Maniac Farmer (2018)
Rating: **
Starring: Jake Roark, Tyler Caldwell, Jeremy Snead

Looking at this film's poster, I wouldn't blame you if you thought this is going to be a splashy-red slasher film about a literal maniac farmer. I know I did, until I get to see the movie and man, oh man, this is far from the fun bodycounter I expected.

At a small rural Kentucky town, a punk calling himself "Blasphemous Rex" has gathered his own little group of delinquents to terrorize anybody he could under a twisted philosophy of embracing violence for the sake of violence, as if he's Alex from A Clockwork Orange only attired in a leather jacket, tight pants and black mascara. He pretty much sets himself serious for this cause by invading a house to murder its two occupants and killing off a rival gang leader.

So where does the Maniac Farmer-part come in? Well, lil' Rexy here just had to be a cocky cock one night and decided to sneak into the property of a very silent and rotund farmer. Despite getting the upper hand at first, Rex and his little merry band of mischief makers soon get their asses handed to them and most of them gets the bad end of the knife. Expect for Rex, who the farmer plans to break in spirit by keeping him alive yet isolated inside a barn, with nothing to eat but the mushed remains of not-beef.

All the while, we got two bumbling detectives looking into Rex's rap sheet which the movie implies to be so bad that it makes Rex "evil embodied". And here we are, watching said "evil embodied" ironically sniveling snot and crying for mercy, reliving horrid memories like a suggested male-on-male incestuous rape and the times he goes by the name "Carl".

As you can tell, Maniac Farmer (2018) doesn't stick to one horror trope and would rather juggle everything from hicksploitation, slasher, crime thriller and psychological torture porn. Writer and director Matthew Williams definitely wrote a script that works well enough with this idea to keep my attention for its unexpected twist, but there are many moments in the film that felt way too overplayed that it borderlines predictable and its message overcooked. Add the matter that the movie is dry on the blood and gore aisle despite having bucket loads of opportunities to be violent onscreen (Y'know? To show off Blasphemous Rex's infamous reputation and why we should root for his demise for the right reason?), the film is unsurprisingly flawed and can get a tad tiresome in its short seventy-plus minute run.

Thankfully, we got some mostly fair acting from Maniac Farmer (2018)'s slow run to keep my attention occupied, even if it's through the "so-bad-it's-hilarious" mindset, like Rex's actor Tyler Caldwell's cheesy take on a savage punk-turned-horror victim whose highlights include a roaring monologue about the nature of violence to entice a crowd, as well as his character getting a talk to and even tormented by his own psyches. Jake Roark as the titular maniac farmer doesn't really have much to say in his role, but he does acted his silent role well enough to be somewhat alright, while Jeremy Snead and Alexander Davis hits a few right comic relief punches to keep their talkative cop duo Lenhardt and Dunigan far from being totally annoying.

No doubt about Maniac Farmer (2018) being a lackluster mess, but I will commend its attempt to make a name for itself by twisting the rules and expectations, as well as showing some sort of effort in its production despite the small budget and the do-it-yourself quality of the final product. As, however, some guy who prefers his hicksploitation chainsaw-wielding and/or consists of deformed cannibal mutants residing in Virginia, this is still far from being in par with my favorite cup of slasher tea.

Bodycount:
1 male gets a switchblade to the gut, later implied stabbed to death
1 female murdered offcamera, later implied beaten
1 female seen killed
1 male had his throat slashed with a switchblade
1 male had his throat cut with a knife
1 victim beaten to death with a toilet seat
1 victim smothered with a pillow
1 female had her throat cut with a knife
1 female seen killed, method unknown
1 female skeleton found
1 male presumably killed with a hatchet
Total: 11*

*An early scene mentioned three possible additional victims to Rex's murder spree, but not enough implications are given to conclude this. In addition, a scene at the near end shows Rex popping out of a couple of hiding places and seems to implied possible murders but, again, with no bodies or direct indication given, I had to leave them out.

Blasphemous Rex. Sounds like a Mad Max character... 

Wednesday, November 27, 2019

That Fantasy Island (2020) Trailer...



First The Banana Splits (2019), now Fantasy Island? If we're gonna rebranding normal TV shows into horror films, may I suggest Love Boat next? It can be like that skit from Family Guy with the Somali pirates. Only, maybe, a murder mystery instead?

Yeah, that'll be funny...

A Real Tired Act: The Gallows: Act II (2019)

The Gallows: Act II (2019)
Rating: *
Starring: Ema Horvath, Chris Milligan, Brittany Falardeau

Well, shit. Look at that.

When The Gallows got released back at 2015, it barely made anything promising for itself as a supernatural found footage/slasher hybrid, but it did obtained a possibly very small number of genuine fans, with me being one of them as I appreciate its efforts and honestly had a good time watching the tame bodycount and cliched "haunted cam footage" tricks. By in no means, however, did I ever saw this as a possible franchise material so imagine my surprise that this sequel reared its ugly head and, oh, how I wished I just left it alone!

Ditching the Found Footage approach after three to four something minutes, Act II follows teenage Youtuber Auna Rue who aspires to be an actress by joining her school's theater group (That's good!) but blunders an audition. (That's bad!) Looking for another way to make a name for herself, she takes the advice from one of her online fans to try reading lines from a more known play (That's good!), only said play happens to be The Gallows, which is said to curse anyone who gets involved with it. (That's bad!) Thinking none of the supernatural consequences that might await her, Auna proceeds and actually impresses the theater group with her new readings (That's good!), but now the curse of The Gallows is hexed upon her and the murderous figure known as Charlie is out to get her. (That's also bad. For more tiresome reasons. Can I go home now?)

So, remember that slasher Smiley back at 2012? This movie is a near carbon copy of that flick, down to its focus on a mentally tormented protagonist whose whiny attitude failed to mend any kind of connection to my interest and a stupid twist that came out of nowhere concerning a death cult worshipping Charlie like some sort of harbinger. (Yeah, spoilers and shit. I don't care, the movie sucks. Y'all will be thanking me.)  Due to this, there are more poorly-paced supernatural spookiness and drawn-out "my life sucks because teenager!" talk going on here than actual noose killings and boogeymen stalking, a fact that infuriates me as this movie was showing some potential of being a creative bodycounter with Charlie finding more ways to strangle and hang people than just with his noose, all the while rocking some sweet cinematography. One scene involving some sheets and Charlie's silhouette is a perfect example of a wasted opportunity as it wonderfully blends the menace of its paranormal killer with an unexpected weapon of choice, but we have to throw all of that away because Act II wanted to be more inclined to teen drama tropes of boyfriends, unappreciative parents and the downside of popularity with some added flavors of ghostly "scares" and slow psychological and physical breakdowns. Apparently teen drama about a bland character have bigger priorities over working scares and/or a killcount in horror movies...

To be fair, lead actress Ema Horvath as Auna Rue did an amazing job acting onscreen, it's just that the material she's been given to work with is so damn boring and dull, that I was hoping the producers filmed this in secret, pondered about it halfway only to abandon it and never speak of it again. But instead, they filmed it in secret, went all the way to finish it, sent it out there for our eyes to be subjected to, leading probably half of the horror community baffled why The Gallows (2015) even got this sequel? Who demanded it? How many of us demanded it? I, despite liking the original Gallows, definitely didn't saw a need to continue Hangman Charlie's onscreen horror Odyssey, so who is this supposed to target? The minuscule number of fans that I'm very certain is only around the hundreds? How's that a promising market?

Why the hell am I asking you all of these questions?

Bottomline, if you like the original Gallows, you're good and set with that. Never bother yourself to see this, though I'm positive that tiny nagging voice inside your head would convince you otherwise eventually so should that happen, a word of advice: prepare a drink and a back-up movie. Something nice and worth your time. You will need it...

Bodycount:
1 boy found snared and wrapped dead in a swing set
1 dog found hanged
1 female strangled with a measuring tape
1 female hanged on a gallows
Total: 4

Tuesday, November 19, 2019

TV Terror: American Horror Story: 1984 (2019)

American Horror Story: 1984 (2019) (AKA "American Horror Story Season 9: 1984")
Rating: ***1/2
Starring: Emma Roberts, Billie Lourd, Leslie Grossman

American Horror Story is a horror anthology series that had my attention for only one season then, which would be their 1950s set fourth renewal Freak Show, undoubtedly their best season which caters a period dramas filled with a very colorful cast of men, monsters and everything in between. Didn't bother much with the rest as I hardly find anything to invest on politically-themed cults or school girl witch covens, but now that AHS had itself returned for their ninth season and getting well oriented with the hack-and-stab subgenre of 80s slashers, I say why the hell not?

In 1984, good girl Brooke Thompson finds herself targeted by an infamous serial killer known as the Night Stalker after finding him inside her home. After surviving his attack, she decides to leave town with her new friends from a dance aerobics class and drive up to Camp Redwood where they'll be working as counselors as a mean to both take her mind off the home invasion and for her own safety. Unbeknowst to her, Camp Redwood has a grim history back at 1970, when the camp's groundskeeper Benjamin Richter, AKA "Mr. Jingles" due to the jingle of keys he carries, went off the deep end and massacred a number of victims before getting apprehended and chucked into a psychiatric clinic.

It seems history will repeat itself tenfold later that night as not only has Mr. Jingles escaped captivity and made his way back to the camp to start another killing spree, but the Night Stalker somehow legged it all the way to the same woods to find Brooke and some of her friends and co-workers aren't as innocent as she hoped they'll be.

As a slasher series, American Horror Story: 1984 (2019) is flawed but played enough cards right to be an entertaining tribute to late 80s backwoods stab-a-thon that kept the series' signature style of story telling. Oozing with neon bright light and stylized synthetic music, with top-tier production and some wonderful talent up front and behind the camera, the story suggests something hip, hammy and probably crawling with cliches until it starts defying traits between heroes and villains, putting us through a deconstructive and reconstructive stroll down slasher tropes.

For the first five episodes, AHS 1984 is something of a cross between a Friday the 13th sequel and Mario Bava's A Bay of Blood (1971); we got not one, but two slashers stalking and killing folks all over in your typical backwoods horror swag, while the show's signature flashbacks and twists reveals our casts are hiding dark secrets of their own and some of them are bound to go cuckoo with a knife at the drop of a hat, given that they hadn't already. It's probably the best slice of the season and where the slasher influence stands strong, with heavy gore, two killers duking it out ala Freddy vs Jason (2006) with an unexpected turn and a lot of fine curve balls on the plot that somehow works and fits perfectly to the flow of the story, keeping me glued and pondering where the night will lead to.

By the time episode six rolls in, things shift into a more revenge-driven plot as it time jumps a couple of years, now following a plan to open Camp Redwood once more as a concert venue under the guidance and selfish gains of the season's revealed big bad. This turn promised some great ideas like a converted villain living a quite life being forced to wield the machete again in order to protect and a couple of prisoned characters escaping to get even to those that landed them there. Heck, there's even a concert-wide massacre in talk among the characters which would have been pretty epic for a TV series, but AHS 1984 have other plans.

Personally, the last few episode is where the season derailed itself a bit with its load of dumb character moments, plot holes and wasted opportunities. It leaves us questions that remained unanswered despite teasing us an explanation, a few bland characters getting added in for no solid purpose apart from kicking up the kill count and that one massacre these last episodes are building up to failing to deliver because, well, they literally didn't deliver under the reason that the characters simply changed their minds. It's somewhat disappointing for those looking for a gore-out death porn-style finale, but I can't really say that much ill to this as it still does have the cheesy and sometimes funny charms one can hope for from a real slasher story (Like how certain non-ghost characters appear to not have aged at all after a certain time-skip, or Kajagoogoo getting slaughtered), with some deep thoughts regarding labeling, revenge and trauma amidst the blood-soaked bodies and meat-tainted blades.

This all leads to a season finale that's as bittersweet wholesome as it is bonkers, with ridiculous end games for a notorious killer and a real bitch that did got me chuckling for how highly cathartic it is, as well as for the amount of onscreen brutality conflicted upon the two villains. Follow that with the tear-jerking ballad of Mike and The Mechanics and a powerful message of happiness and comfort after all the doom and gloom, we're pretty much set to experience this series' more demented yet arguably fun and lukewarm season.

In the end, American Horror Story 1984 is one busy series for cramming all of the tropes we know and love/hate about slasher movies into a mostly alright TV drama despite the schizophrenic time-jumps and inconsistent lore. It's hardly as big and grand as the aforementioned Freak Show, but it runs the show with much gusto, passion and bloodlust. (Oh, the bloodlust.) that it's not hard to find something to at least like about this show's more bodycount-friendly ninth renewal.

Bodycount:
1 male and 1 female knifed through the head (Episode 1)
1 female knifed through the eye (Episode 1)
6 females seen slaughtered (Episode 1)
1 male had his neck crushed (Episode 1)
1 male crushed with a dropped car, face stomped (Episode 1)
1 male found pinned to the door with knives (Death A) (Episode 1)
1 female stabbed to death with a road spike (Episode 2)
1 male shot on the head (flashback) (Episode 2)
1 male shot (flashback) (Episode 2)
1 male shot on the head (flashback) (Episode 2)
1 male stabbed through the head with a road spike (Episode 2)
1 male disemboweled with a karambit, throat cut (Death B) (Episode 2)
1 male stabbed on the throat with a karambit (Death C) (Episode 2)
1 female shot on the head (flashback) (Episode 2)
1 male slashed with a machete (flashback) (Death D) (Episode 2)
1 male stabbed through with a machete, throat slashed (Episode 3)
1 male stabbed through the neck with a machete (Episode 3)
1 male killed in car crash (flashback) (Episode 3)
1 female gets a broken oar to the mouth (Episode 3)
1 male pushed into a spiked pit (Episode 3)
1 male decapitated with an axe (Death A) (Episode 3)
1 male found dismembered (flashback) (Episode 4)
1 female knifed on the chest (Death A) (Episode 4)
1 male impaled through the head with a tree branch (Death A) (Episode 4)
1 female found disemboweled (flashback) (Episode 5)
1 male knifed on the neck (flashback) (Episode 5)
1 male weighed down in a lake with a chained anchor (Death A) (Episode 5)
1 male shot to death with arrows (Death A) (Episode 5)
1 male eviscerated with a knife (Death A) (Episode 5)
1 female knifed to death (Death A) (Episode 5)
1 male shot dead (Episode 5)
1 victim shot to death (Episode 6)
1 victim hacked to death with a machete (Episode 6)
1 male knifed to death (Episode 6)
1 female had her throat cut with a knife (Episode 6)
1 female found with a throat cut (Episode 6)
1 boy had his head shredded by a boat propeller (flashback) (Episode 7)
1 male shot dead (Episode 7)
1 male found covered in stabs (flashback) (Episode 7)
1 male found stabbed to death (flashback) (Episode 7)
1 male found stabbed to death (flashback) (Episode 7)
3 males found stabbed to death (flashback) (Episode 7)
1 female knifed on the gut (flashback) (Episode 7)
1 male shot with a shotgun (Episode 7)
1 male knifed on the neck (Episode 7)
1 male found gutted (Episode 7)
1 male found stabbed to death (Episode 7)
1 male found slaughtered (Episode 7)
1 male found slaughtered (Episode 7)
1 male found slaughtered (Episode 7)
1 male found slaughtered (Episode 7)
1 male gutted with a knife (Death B) (Episode 7)
1 female knifed on the chest (Episode 8)
1 male knifed through the chest (Death B) (Episode 8)
1 male shot on the head (Death C) (Episode 8)
1 female knifed to death (Episode 8)
1 male repeatedly stabbed and slashed with knives (Death D) (Episode 8)
1 female shot on the head (Death B) (Episode 9)
1 male had his throat cut with a knife (Death A) (Episode 9)
1 male shot on the head (Episode 9)
1 male bled to death from gunshot wounds (Death B) (Episode 9)
1 male hacked on the neck with a machete (Episode 9)
1 male slaughtered (Death B) (Episode 9)
1 male had his legs crippled with a sledgehammer, knifed on the head (Death C) (Episode 9)
1 male stabbed in the eyes with branches (Death D) (Episode 9)
1 male slaughtered with a chainsaw (Death E) (Episode 9)
1 male and 1 female slaughtered offcamera (Death B) (Episode 9)
1 male knifed to death (Death C) (Episode 9)
1 male murdered offcamera (Death F) (Episode 9)
1 male murdered offcamera (Death G) (Episode 9)
1 female dismembered, pieces fed to a woodchipper (Death A) (Episode 9)
1 female stabbed in the head with a knife (Death B) (Episode 9)
1 male knifed to death (Death E) (Episode 9)
1 female had her throat cut, presumably murdered offcamera (Death C) (Episode 9)
Total: 82

Tuesday, November 12, 2019

My Blood is Liquid Offering: Lake Nowhere (2014)

Lake Nowhere (2014)
Rating: ****
Starring:  Wray Villanova, Laura Hajek, Nathan Andrew Wright

This is what would happen should Evil Dead (1981) and Friday The 13th (1980) had a happy, stabby mongoloid baby raised within the era of Video Nasties and Grindhouse exploitations.

A fun throwback to old school backwoods slashers with a mysterious supernatural twist, Lake Nowhere (2014) starts with a trio of faux commercials, one being a beer ad which I am sure is funded in secret by werewolves (or hardcore furries, whichever one offends you more) and the two others being cheesy trailers for what appears to be a Satanic Cult/Giallo hybrid and a scifi creature feature involving giant killer plants and a mutated farmer. (Would pay good money to see at least one of these turned into a real film!)

The main plot then follows your classic gaggle of party-hungry teenagers getting away from it all at a cabin deep in the woods. One of them decided to stroll around the woods with her adorable dog, soon stumbling upon an old tombstone with a cryptic prayer carved into it. Unknown to her, the prayer, when read aloud, seemingly unleashes something dark, ancient and feral into the forest which may or may not be associated with the masked maniac that's been lurking around and spying on them the moment they step foot into the woods.

Done in a fittingly speedy pace with the same contrasted tone and rough texture of a forgotten low-budget vintage horror number, Lake Nowhere (2014) is an impressive love letter that kept much of the simplistic hammy fun of your usual slasher-in-the-woods affair, all the while working in a supernatural angle that soon introduces a surprise threat that eventually trails the story into an artsy finale that boasts quite the haunting atmosphere and imagery. It is gritty and raw when the time calls for it, more or less rewarding patient viewers a second half that packs nifty practical gore effects and a killer whose intimidating presence, design and motive remain apt to the movie's mysterious tone, a feat that I find quite grand for a film that runs in a short 51 minutes.
The actors also did well enough on their roles, playing out their parts as natural as possible to give their rather two-dimensional characters some level of being relatable. The only real drawback I see here is the lack of details as to what exactly their characters are dealing with as, while it is strongly suggested that there is something supernatural about the killer, the film didn't dwell any further into the nature of the otherworldly threat and how it relates to not only the masked murderer, but also to one of the characters. This leaves a lot of questions unanswered, but thankfully there's a strong Fulci-inspired nightmare logic at play once the movie's direction turns for the bloody and horrifying, giving us a chaotic fever dream of a killing spree and an expressively eerie last act to make up for the loose ends.
Sometimes cheesy and messily gory, Lake Nowhere (2014) is late night VHS weekend entertainment nostalgia in a short yet horrifyingly eventful running time. Flawed and unoriginal it may be plot-wise, there's no doubt of it's an amusing retrospect to old school dead teenager films, greatly earning its place as a praiseworthy horror effort with a lot of heart and passion behind it. What else is there to say but grab a copy!

Bodycount:
1 female had her throat cut with a knife (faux trailer)
1 creature burned to death (faux trailer)
1 victim attacked by mutated plants (faux trailer)
1 victim dragged away by mutated plants (faux trailer)
1 male attacked by mutated plants (faux trailer)
1 dog murdered, later seen eaten
1 male hanged, disemboweled with a machete
1 male had his neck bitten open
1 male decapitated with a machete
1 female hits her head against an exposed nail (?)
1 female stabbed on the head with a machete
1 male murdered offcamera
1 female gets a machete to the jaw
Total: 13 (?)

Wednesday, November 6, 2019

Some Screwed Up House Guests: Open House (2010)

Open House (2010)
Rating: *1/2
Starring: Brian Geraghty, Rachel Blanchard, Anna Paquin

Not to be confused with the cheese-tastic 1987 bodycounter of the same name or the 2018 snowbound thriller, this Open House has two well-dressed psychopaths, Lila (Tricia Helfer) and David (David Geraghty), breaking into a house that was for sale by its recently divorced couple, Alice (Rachel Blanchard) and Josh (Stephen Moyer). After sedating Alice in the cellar and murdering Josh, the two maniacs takes over the home and pose as its new tenants, leading a lot of random folks in the neighborhood into a guaranteed death trap as it appears Lila and  David have a thing for killing people.

Why the killings? Not a damn clue, but one of the killers did mentioned something about two children living in the forest getting tricked by a creature into leaving their homes only to get lost and alone, clinging on to each other but cannot fall in love because actually twins.

Wait, what?

Open House (2010) admittedly has some intriguing bits, more of it around the dynamics between the home invaders, but it gets pretty tiresome once the half mark hits and we get little to no further built-up as to what these killers want. All we get is that Lila wears the metaphorical pants between the two (not literal ones. She likes to show some legs) as David is mostly bossed around whenever he's not keeping to himself or knifing a few other people that happens to be in the way. His only act of defiance, and probably what kept this movie from being unwatchable, is keeping Alice drugged and alive, letting her out from the basement cubbyhole during the day while Lila is out and about so he can spend some time with her.

Apart from these slices of good elements, the rest of Open House (2010) is as bland and boring as a watching paint dry on an old house: you wanted to be excited because it looks good, but the crumbling estate makes you think if its even worth the hassle. That's more or less what I feel about this movie as there's nothing scary to speak here, any suspenseful scenes is predictable at its worst, and there's hardly anything creative in its kill count. Dare I say then, why bother? Precisely. The film couldn't even find an exciting ending for all the boresome bull honky we have to sit through.

Bodycount:
1 female found with a throat cut
1 male knifed on the neck
1 male knifed to death
1 female had her throat cut with a knife
1 male had his throat cut with a knife
1 female knifed to death
1 male knifed
1 female knifed on the chest
Total: 8

The Virginia Claw Massacre: Night Killer (1990)

Night Killer (Italy, 1990) (AKA "Non Aprite Quella Porta 3")
Rating: **
Starring: Peter Hooten, Tara Buckman, Richard Foster

When a slasher film you're watching is only a slasher thanks to gory re-shoots insisted upon film producers who weren't happy with the director's original work (and said director is none other than Claudio Fragasso, who masterminded the infamous cult classic bad movie Troll 2 (1990)), you know a lot of things are bound to go South. Way down South.

In Virginia Beach, a maniac in a cheap Halloween mask and half a pair of long-nailed monster gloves is murdering women after assaulting them and it appears their next target is Melanie Beck (Tara Buckman), a house wife whose self-empowering mantra includes flashing her breasts out to rub them while watching herself in a mirror doing this. (No. Really.) One creepy caller is actually inside the house gag later, Melanie finds herself face to face with the disguised murderer who found a way in her house and next thing we know, she's in a hospital with a total mental block of what transpired after the creep got in and seemingly had their way with her.

This amnesia frustrates local cops who were hoping to have Melanie identify the attacker so they can finally make an arrest, but none of them are as miserable as Melanie herself, now thinking the only way out of a meaningless existence is to commit suicide by pills. In broad daylight. At a beach. Fortunately for her, a random guy spots her chug the pills and recognizing this as a suicide attempt, forces her (as in, shoves her entire head underwater) to ingests salt water so she can vomit them out, thus saving her life.

Unfortunately for Melanie, however, her would-be good Samaritan is actually a creep who has no problems locking her up in his place so he can toy around with her suicidal tendencies and fragile state while munching on french fries and KFC chicken. Could this man be the raping sicko murdering women every chance they get? Or has Melanie, in her worst luck, just jumped out of the frying pan into the fire with this one, bound to endure another psycho's wrath?

With the film's original concept as a psychological thriller, it's not hard to see that this is the film's proposed little mystery for us and, in all honesty, I could see it working on a serious (or at least somewhat serious) direction but considering this movie's writing and acting being so sporadic, sleazy and off the wall, I'm not surprised to see it cheesed up like the insides of a pizza crust, so much so that it's phenomenal and the fact that this movie had not imploded into a completely unwatchable rancid curdled mess is just mind-boggling at best.

In a sense, Night Killer (1990) is a popcorn movie meant to be riffed for how hilariously bad it is from the cheap and obvious Freddy Krueger cash-in to thespian talents that is limited to overacting or underacting. (notice the lack of "from" and "to" ?) It doesn't look like its striving to be a competent horror film with a high and creative kill count or scares aimed at the two living brain cells in our noggins that's overworking themselves to make something coherent out of this movie with how much exposition, twists and psycho-babble it cobbled altogether, but what it lacks is made up for the amount of zany energy, laughable set-pieces and the undoubted hammy tone that's just too out there to completely hate. (The key word is "completely")

It's certainly not a movie meant for those looking for a traditional thriller, but lovers of bad cinema, of the so-bad-its-good brand, would see Night Killer (1990) as a strong recommendation that goes so well with a cold six pack of beer and half a brain that's just looking for something to cackle at.

Bodycount:
1 female ran through the gut with a clawed glove
1 female had her throat cut and her gut ran through with a clawed glove
1 female ran through the gut with a clawed glove
1 female ran through the back with a clawed glove
1 male stabbed on the groin with a butterfly knife, shot dead
Total: 5

Tuesday, November 5, 2019

Gotta be patient now...

Halloween might be over, but in a few months it'll be year 2020. And you know what's coming in 2020?


Yesssss....

Oh, and Godzilla vs Kong (2020), too! Let's not forget that!