Sunday, December 18, 2011

World's Most Pissed Off Snowcone!: Jack Frost (1997)

Jack Frost (1997)
starring: Scott MacDonald, Christopher Allport and Stephen Mendel

Star light, Star bright,
first star, I sticked tonight
I think I remember taking a glimpse of this film one gradeschool night ago, all the while being tucked in my bed. (Cuz, you know, school night) The very thing that got stamped on my noggin from that then-fazed memory was the scene when our titular killer melts from something, and, get this, got his cells merged with the snow. It was awesome for my gradeschool self and I never forgotten about it.

Now imagine my glee seeing the whole movie for the first time and actually remembering these little snippets mixed with the bizzare, bound to be magic in the air. And thank the stars it didn't suck much either!

Deep fried Jack's off the menu for tonight!
Convicted serial killer of 38 victims all across the five states, Jack Frost was on a snowbound transport to his execution one December night until the truck got more than a tap against an incoming tanker containing experimental genetic stuff. A car crash here, Jack thrown off there, an viola! Jack's back and he's ready for some killing!

That was, until the genetic acid blew off from the tanker and doused the killer, melting him like there's no tomorrow. All should have been good but the acid did more than melt; it merged him with the snow! So now, Jack's still back (with a new frosty look) and a nearby town have a new problem other than under-cook cookies, more to stress from this was the town's sheriff Sam Tiller, the one who successfully nabbed Jack Frost during that one time the serial slasher was just passing-by and now haunted by the recurring memories of the killer's death threat.

Looks like, ole' Scrooge finally bit it.
He soon finds himself investigating a series of unexplained killings that were beyond brutal, as well as catering to federal agents that began to pop out in search of the thing responsible for the havoc. They soon find out that things had indeed gotten way out of hand and now they're doomed to face the wrath of "The World's Most Pissed-off Snowcone!"

Whacky, twisted and full of Holiday Cheers and Fears, Jack Frost is one title that truly earned its cult status. Cheap at all cost and hardly believable, the movie's main interest is to make us laugh while dishing out the goriest and creative killings under the Winter season.

And since our killer's a mutant snowman, guess who got it made? Icicles shot to heads, throats mutilated by snow, and one of the weirdest murder-rapes there is, ole Frosty's lovin' it all and they're as gory as they can get. Can you also say Freddy/Chucky clone? Of course, but he's dishing his own one liners with groove and charm, that actually works!

Ah, the family business of Snowmen exterminating
And then we got our heroes, a likable bunch of friendly folks who got nothing more to do than bake oat cookies, build snowmen and make sweaters. They're completely clueless about the deep shit they're plunged into, I'll tell you that, but that doesn't stop them from being cool and badass in the end. (Them guys know how to dish out them blowdryers! haha! The Ultimate Anti-Snowmen weapon!)

It this kind of films that was supposed to be bad, but it's a horror-comedy trying its best, so in a way, it actually advices its viewers to look at its the flaws, all the underdeveloped characters, all the mediocre special effects and, of course, the mountainous of amount of cheese, doubling as its strength as well.

Bah Humbug!
Jack Frost is, perhaps, one of the most contending B-Movie title there is that deserved all the horror junkie's love and attention. That is, of course, if they got a taste for the weird and wonderful, or just plain appreciative of a funny attempt to make a good (if not one of the best) B-Grade flick ever! It doesn't shake anything big but cheesy fun all through out.
Dare you to slip this in your Winter holiday viewings. It's worth it!

1 male had his neck stomped on, broken
2 males killed in car collission
1 elderly male found with a broken neck
1 boy beheaded with sled
1 male gets an axe handle shoved down his throat
1 female forced fed with ornaments and gets a Christmas star to the head
1 male ran over by reversing car
1 male impaled on the head with shot icicle
1 female repeatedly beaten to the wall
1 male had his insides mutilated
total: 11


  1. I enjoyed this monumentally silly movie - and especially liked that it took some thunder away from the cheesy Michael Keaton family film by taking its title. I worked with actor John Wesley Shipp, who is a good friend of an actress in this movie - Marsha Clark - who plays the female deputy/dispatcher. Well, John was on his cell one day on set and passed me, and I heard him say "Marsha, there's a fan of one of your movies here" and he handed me the phone, knowing I would understand since we'd already talked about Jack Frost and his buddy being in it. So I took the phone and chatted with Ms. Clark, who seemed to have a great humor about the whole thing. That was fun! Are you going to be checking out the sequel, Mr. K?

  2. I'm thinking about it. I was lucky enough to get this, but I still have nothing in the radar for Jack frost 2. No Copies, no bootleg copies and no online stream or downloads in my country. Which is too bad, cuz the sequel sounds gorier and funnier. I would pay anything to see that!

    You sure got all the luck there, mate! I mean you get the chance to talk to mot one, but two folks involved with the film! Kudos, mate!

  3. Jack Frost 2 is awful. Awful. Awful. Awful.

  4. I'll review it in January but it was bitterly disappointing. The first one, flawed as it is, at least has a charm to it. The second one just looked like it was shot for $29.95.

    My memory is vague but I remember it takes place in Hawaii or something. Yes - the snowman goes to a hot climate. And the tag line was: "He's icin' and slicin'."

  5. Always thought this would be perfect for a crossover with MonSturd, which also had a serial killer named Jack turn into a monster (guess what it was made of...) because of a chemical spill.

    1. ...ever let them know that suggestion?

    2. I would... if I only knew who to contact. :<

      I'm dreaming of brown Christmas.