WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS BODYCOUNT. HIGH RISK OF SPOILERS. ENTER IF YOU DARE.

Monday, January 7, 2013

A slasher film. Greek Style: Razor (2007)

Razor (Greece, 2007)
rating: *
starring:  Zoe Alexouli, Elisabeth Boutraki and Yolanda Dimitriou
The Greeks show how much they know about
slasher flicks, which is good but...
If you have been reading this blog for quite a while now, you would know that I'm a very open person when it comes to a Country's first slasher. I can be sympathetic to their efforts and would try to give as much of a fair review as possible. Movies like Russia's Trackman, Japan's Evil Dead Trap, and even the underrated Rabies of Israel have or will have a favorable review from me for their effort to try and handle a genre so simple, it's often underestimated.

And then there are those titles that try too hard to impress.

Razor is Greece's so-called first English language slasher, made with zero-budget, a sluggish pacing and very tedious kills, the basic ingredients of a very terrible movie.

It starts off with a shot of a haggard-looking girl on bed, toying around with a razor blade that she then hides away when a man walks in. As the man begins to assault her, she uses said razor to cut off his dick. The girl's mum walks in, concerned of the screaming, and spots the man bleeding but quickly figures that he was raping her daughter, so she picked up a pair of scissors and stabs him on the chest. So far, not a single word was uttered on that scene alone, which would have been a sign of impending doom, but I venture on in hopes that I might be judging it too early.

Then next thing we're shown is a bunch of grown men and women trying to act in English, something about them visiting a friend over the seaside for some R&R. (Or at least, that's what they're trying to do) They have a Greek Salad dinner (which, I guess, they just call it "salad" there) before having a gratuitous sex montage, and the next thing you know we get a psycho with a hammer and razor viciously slicing them open one by one in tune of some heavy metal rock music. God, I hate it when they do it to Heavy Metal...

The problem with Razor is that it tries to make it as gory and nasty as possible, presumably to compete with the gore-loving cinema of today, but with very little budget to pass around, the so-called nastiness or gore is reduced to no more than some guy repeatedly slicing people with a shaving razor before killing them and doing it in routine. And as if the movie's pacing wasn't terrible enough, these kills take forever to commit that it gets tiring way too fast. It's torturous, yes, but we're looking for a slasher flick here, not a Torture Porn (there IS a difference) so I don't find people being tortured to death with a razor while rock music is playing to be scary, fun and/or impressive.

Now, I'm not bashing this effort, I'm just saying it could use a load more work and brains; it's too cheesy to be taken seriously and at the same time, attempts to be so serious that you couldn't help wonder if we're supposed to laugh at a scene or wince in terror, wherein a slasher flick would often rely on either one for the entire movie or even a single scene to work.

And then there's the part where the director thought it'll be a great idea to let the cast speak in English so the rest of the world will understand the film, which is sweet on his part but it made the movie very distracting with the accent and I really had a hard time trying to decipher what they just said more than once. (Y'know, possible clues to what's going on with the movie and junk?)

Maybe it's just my taste that made me rate this one so low (seeing I'm a guy who had seen even the most obscure slasher/thriller flicks (and lived)) and it would probably find a fan or two who can appreciate this Greek salad of a slasher movie (Just hope the next guy who would watch this and give it a high rating isn't speaking for a friend involved in this film), but yeah, execution-wise, Razor is a terrible movie and a possible waste of film space.

Watch at your own risk.

Bodycount:
1 male stabbed with scissors
1 female dismembered with buzzsaw
1 male dismembered with buzzsaw
1 male had his throat cut with razor
1 female axed on the chest
1 female had her head bludgeoned with her own dismembered leg
1 male killed
1 male tortured with razor, dies of heart attack
1 female dismembered with buzzsaw
1 male dismembered with axe
1 female hacked to death with axe
total: 11

5 comments:

  1. I've heard of another Greek slasher called O stragalistis tis sygrou. It's apparently some weird unnoffical remake of Maniac.

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    Replies
    1. I think I may had heard of that one. Well, i could always try my hands on something new! Thanks for the heads up!

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    2. I've heard of that one to. I bought what I'm pretty sure is a bootleg DVD of it off eBay.

      I haven't watched it yet, but I tested out the disc. It works fine, but there aren't any subtitles.

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  2. I've looked around, and it seems like this is the only review of this film in all of cyberspace.

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