A Slasher Film. Greek Style: Razor (2007)

Razor (Greece, 2007)

Rating: *

Starring: Zoe Alexouli, Elisabeth Boutraki , Yolanda Dimitriou

The Greeks show how much they know about
slasher flicks, which is good but...

If you have been reading this blog for quite a while now, you know I'm a very open person when it comes to a country's first slasher. I can be sympathetic for their efforts and would try to give as fair of a review as possible. Movies like Russia's Trackman (2007), Japan's Evil Dead Trap (1988), and even the underrated Rabies (2010) of Israel are seen favorably by me for trying a horror sub-genre so fun and simple, it's often underestimated.

And then there's Razor (2007). Greece's so-called first English language slasher, made with zero-budget, a sluggish pacing and tedious kills. The basic ingredients of a very terrible movie.

It starts off with a shot of a haggard girl on bed, toying around with a razor blade that she hides away when a man walks in. As the man begins to assault her, she uses said razor to cut off his dick. The girl's mum walks in, alerted by the screaming, and spots the man bleeding. Quickly figuring that he was raping her daughter, mummy dearest picks up a pair of scissors and stabs him in the chest. So far, not a single word uttered from that scene alone, which would have been a sign of impending doom, but I hopelessly venture on...

Then next thing we're shown is a bunch of grown men and women trying to act in English, something about them visiting a friend over at their seaside home for some R&R. They have a Greek Salad dinner (which, I guess, they just call "salad" there) before having a gratuitous sex montage. Things go bloody soon enough when we suddenly get a psycho with a hammer and razor viciously slicing them open one by one in tune of some heavy metal rock.

The problem with Razor (2007) is that it tries to make itself as gory and nasty as possible, but with very little budget to pass around, the so-called gory nastiness is reduced to no more than some guy repeatedly slicing people with a shaving razor before killing them some other way, all in routine. And as if the movie's pacing isn't terrible enough, these kills take forever to commit that it gets tiring way too fast. It's torturous, yes, but we're looking for a slasher flick here, not Torture Porn (there IS a difference) so I don't find people being sliced to death with a razor while rock music plays as scary, fun and/or impressive. Just annoying.

Then there's the part where the director thought it'll be a great idea to let the cast speak in English so the rest of the world will understand the film. On paper, it's sweet, but it just made the movie very distracting with the accent and I really had a hard time trying to decipher what the characters are saying half of the run.

Maybe this one isn't just for me. The movie has its putrid heart in the right place, but resulting product  is simply overwhelmingly crass. It'll probably find a fan or two out there, those who can appreciate this Greek salad of a slasher movie, but yeah, execution-wise, Razor (2007) just leaves a terrible taste in my mouth. 

Watch at your own risk.

Bodycount:
1 male stabbed with scissors
1 female dismembered with buzzsaw
1 male dismembered with buzzsaw
1 male had his throat cut with razor
1 female axed on the chest
1 female had her head bludgeoned with her own dismembered leg
1 male killed, method unknown
1 male tortured with razor, dies of heart attack
1 female dismembered with buzzsaw
1 male dismembered with axe
1 female hacked to death with axe
Total: 11