WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS BODYCOUNT. HIGH RISK OF SPOILERS. ENTER IF YOU DARE.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Oh My God, It's Like Watching That Tape From "The Ring": Deadly Little Christmas (2009)


Deadly Little Christmas (2009)
Rating:1/2
Starring: Barbara Jean Barrielle, Charlotte Barrielle and Anthony Campanello

My sentiments exactly, Peter Griffin

I bought this DVD hoping its gonna be one of those decent looking low-budget SOV, but what I saw instead was one of the most God awful shot-on-"shiteo" movies in my entire life. Here's one point down to the DIY culture, everybody.

Deadly Little Christmas starts with the usual "years ago" prologue in the same fashion of Halloween (1978) with a boy finding his nanny and his own father doing the tamest bedroom exercise I've ever seen, knifing them to death and walking out blood caked while his sister watches in horror.

Fast forward to the present, the boy (now a young adult) escapes captivity and a series of murders inevitably starts as someone in a hoodie and the cheapest Halloween mask is knifing people involved with a local play (if you would call it that), all the while stalking the boy's still troubled sister and mother. Do I care to explain more? No, not really...

Obviously shot on a string budget (I would say "shoestring" but I highly doubt they can afford even that), Deadly Little Christmas rip-offs every known Halloween rip-offs out there and gives us this rather stale entry. People overreacts to their deaths like one guy getting a knife to his temple and hilariously convulsed for 15 to 20 seconds, or another getting knifed on the neck only to make the most outrageous death face ever. Props are obviously re-used over and over again (is that a stage? or a bomb shelter?), make-up and special effects are dodgy (people get stabbed but they have no stab wounds and that's obviously a prank knife they're using. I know, cuz every kid in my neighborhood had one those last Halloween. Moi included) and the sound design's terrible. (WHAT? SPEAK UP! I'M LOSING YOU-WAIT THE MOVIE'S OVER? WHAT HAPPENED?) The only good thing about this is the bravery of these cast to act and the decent twist in the end, though nothing that original.

You know what, I'm not gonna write another paragraph for this film. DUMP IT! HARDLY WORTH THE CASH!

Bodycount:
1 female knifed to death on the back
1 male knifed on the neck
1 male had his throat slashed with a knife
1 male knifed to death
1 male found dead (I dunno, throat slash or something. His shirt is stained red...)
1 male had his throat stabbed with knife
1 male knifed on the gut
1 male knifed on the temple
1 male knifed on the chest
1 female shot on the head.
Total: 10

4 comments:

  1. It was while looking for reviews of this to add to IMDB that I discovered this website.

    I did kind of like the mask, even though I haven't the foggiest as to what it was supposed to be. And the sisters were kind of cute... that's all the positives I can muster.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. so...do I owe this move some thanks for introducing one of my more loyal readers, then?

      Delete
    2. Guess so.

      But we can just pretend it was something better.

      Like almost anything.

      Delete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete