WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS BODYCOUNT. HIGH RISK OF SPOILERS. ENTER IF YOU DARE.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Fave Slasher Victims

we all have our favorite slasher victims. Those guys that we sometimes look up to, or like for a distinctive trait, , those guys that hangs around with our heroes or heroines and get cut down in the midst of it all. It's a little unfair, but it what makes these guys so memorable, so here are my fave dead buddies who never got close to making out alive for the night:

Hollis (Keith Knight) of My Bloody Valentine- This fat bastard is lovable as hell! Even if he's huge, he's actually a pretty nice guy and he gets a cute girl! How lucky is that?! But sadly, Ole Harry Warden got plans for him; poor fella, he breaks up a fight, treats his friends to a trip to the mines and even go back to fetch a friend before escaping and he gets a nail gun shot to his head. Ouch Warden, really.

Charlie (Stephen Furst) of Silent Rage- Another lovable butterball, this one's a little younger and more naive. But that doesn't stop him from being puppy-dog cute, help out his sheriff friend who acts like a father figure (Go Chuck!). He even bought some time for Chuck Norris' character's love interest time to get away...by having the killer crush the life out of him. Noble boys do die young...

Vinnie Bradshaw (Harvey Atkins) of Visiting Hours- Paraplegics often gets a big bite at the big one in horror films. The wheelchair girl from President's Day, that guy from Friday the 13th part 2, Harvey Atkin's character is no exception here. Vinnie Bradshaw is a friendly wheelchair bound man who befreinds Lee Grant's character, Deborah Balin, after she got attacked by the movie's loon. Unfortunately, what he doesn't know is that he'll be included in death's list, when Micheal ironside's character sticks his switchblade into his gut while choking in a stress ball. Now that's mean!

Tim Messenger (Adam Buxtom) of Hot Fuzz- It's funny to see someone from my future field of work gets a horrible case of "Occupational Hazard", and Tim is no stranger. Killed off just because he couldn't spell wright, the band-o-killers gives him a head start to the afterlife...by breaking off a dislodge church piece and DESTROYING his head with it. fairly enough, he had the best death in this action-slasher hybrid.

Mrs. Crenshaw (Carrie Fisher) of Sorority Row- While in the original House of Sorority Row, their landlady's a big bitch, here, we got some serious role change. While she didn't actually do much, Mrs. Crenshaw did later turn out to be a badass shotgun totting biddy. She even protected the girls from our hoodie-cloak killer, and continues to do so (well she tried) even when she got impaled to the wall. Leah Pipe's character justifies my point: "Well, who knew Mrs. Crenshaw was such a bad-ass? "


Sam Quint (Robert Shaw) of Jaws- Our Ahab of the seven seas, Sam is a hardened, tough and knows how to tag along to his two accomplices and had all the patience to teach them a thing or two about what they're dealing with. Destined to be shark food, at least he tried to fight back when ole Big Bruce chomped down on him, with a machete to the jaw. Didn't work though.




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