Nurse 3D (2013)
Rating: ***
Starring: Paz de la Huerta, Katrina Bowden, Kathleen Turner
Brazilian actress Paz De La Huerta plays Abby Russell, a provocative nurse working at a prestige hospital by day and moonlights as a serial killing vigilante targeting adulterous men by night, stemming from a traumatized childhood wherein she killed her own cheating father.
Tension rises for Abby the day she becomes the mentor of one of the newcomer nurses, Dani, whose pretty face instantly makes her the killer nurse's new secret obsession. Hoping to get Dani into her life through means of blackmail and stalking, Abby sly through suspicious eyes using her charms, perfectly molding alibis to make it look like she's the victim of Dani's "obsession", while occasionally murdering those who got in too deep on finding out about her past, as well as those who hinder her from her goal.
In the near end, it all spirals down to Dani trying to prove her innocence and stop Abby from completely destroying everyone's lives, hopefully preventing a rising bodycount as the killer nurse begins to slaughter everybody around her.
The best way to describe Nurse 3D (2013) is that it's the bastard child of a slasher, an erotic thriller and a really smutty black comedy after one steamy orgy; while the plot is hardly original, the quippy writing, the everlasting supply of bust and butt shots, and erotic wordplay definitely did this movie proud as a horror-equivalent of a wet-dream. One that boasts the impossibly proportionate De La Huerta playing an alluringly exotic and dangerous anti-heroine, and wonderful traditional and CG splatter that works despite unnecessarily converted for 3D.
There's a genuine grindhouse feel to the movie, busting out jokes and sleaze that mainstream media is often careful about unless they want angry mothers complaining about their sons jerking off to the film; as provocative as it is, however, Nurse 3D (2013) soon turns to darker and more mean-spirited dimensions as Abby goes into a killing spree in the same hospital she works at, with security, staff and even helpless patients getting brutally murdered with much bloodshed as a slaughterhouse. I'll be frank here, while the film highlights itself as sexy, quick and slick, the climactic murder spree is personally the biggest catch for me as I think it effectively evokes the fear of being vulnerable while medicated in hospitals.
Just picture this: you're weak, alone, either undergoing or resting from a life-threatening surgery, and all of the sudden this maniac just comes right at you with a scalpel and stabs you to death. What did you do to deserve this? Nothing, you're just unlucky. You just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Within the reach of a killer who's simply murdering anyone without rhyme or reason at this point. Now, that's darkly unsettling.
Performances aside from De La Huerta are spot on as well; playing our lead protagonist is Katrina Bowden, who many of you backwoods horror fanatics will remember as the not-so-but-thought-to-be-doomed female lead Allison in Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010), here playing a similar role, but with enough spunk to actually tackle our villainess in a cat-fight. Others thrown in include Kathleen Turner in a brief cameo as the Head Nurse, Judd Nelson as one of the main doctors with a taste for ass, and Adam Herschman from the comedy film Accepted (2006) as a hapless neighbor crushing on Abby, unaware of her true character.Production-wise, the movie never look cheap; there's some nice 70s artsy touch to the cinematography, camera work that loves angles, and lighting that makes everything crisp.
In totality, Nurse 3D (2013) is a slasher trying to bring out more from its star killer, may it be sleaze or slaughter. It may not be breaking into anything new, especially if you've already seen movies like Orphan (2009), or Single White Female (1992), but slasher fans will love this fine example of the great lengths the sub-genre will go to entertain for our gory needs, challenge subtle tameness and succeed in being one of the few 3D movies out there that has a workable plot. (Hah! Take that The Final Destination (2009)! Take that My Soul to Take (2010)!)So, my friends, call it a date night! Nurse 3D (2013) is waiting for you!
Bodycount:
1 male thrown off a building and lands on a gate railing, impaled
1 male seen stabbed to death with syringes
1 male paralyzed, killed in a car crash
1 male had his throat cut with a scalpel (flashback)
1 male dismembered with a bonesaw
1 female killed offscreen
1 male electrocuted on the chest with a defibrillator
1 male ran through the neck with scissors
1 male killed in botched surgery
1 male stabbed on the eye with scissors
1 male had his feeding tubes torn out from his chest
1 male stabbed on the neck with a scalpel
1 male had his stitches undone, bled to death
1 female stabbed to death with scissors
1 male brained with a baseball bat
Total: 15
What a body count! I head from a few others that Paz De La Huerta acting was a little distracting?
ReplyDeleteHer accent made her sound like she's reading the script. Like literally reading.
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