So, Just has The Cabin In The Woods suggested, our world's gonna end via full on attack of seemingly immortal horror movie monsters. If that's our fate, then I'm just gonna go head on and say Best Apocalypse Ever!
But before that happens, let me just share you guys my top 20 fave little (and huge) nasties that mauls, bites, and maims in one of 2012's most anticipated and exciting horror-slasher hybrid! So start the count down of the world's end with:
20: Zombies- Ah, the classic set-up. Death by Zombies! Or in a shorter term "Zombiepocalypse!" As a second fave horror sub-genre, Zombies had always had a good on impression for me, especially the slow ones. (The Fast Ones just overdid the threat, personally...)
|stop looking at me. stop looking at me..|
19: The Reanimated- I'm not sure why the fans, or maybe even the staff, called these weird fuckers as "The Reanimated" since they look little like revived bodies but whatever. So long as these bastards stop looking with their freaky upside-down heads (and climb on ceilings!) I'm cool with them...yeesh...
|"We have such sights to show you..."|
18. Fornicus, Lord of Bondage and Pain- An obvious Rip-Off of Hellraiser's Cenobites (maybe even one of them!), Fornicus got in my list for being a good little tribute to my childhood fave horror franchise! Now if only he did a little more than just look menacing...
|"OH COME ON!"|
17. Merman- Ah the irony, you want something in life and next thing you know, you'l get it when you're about to bite the big one. One thing's for sure, Merman is really scary...
the clean up is a nightmare!
|Burn, baby! Burn!|
16. Jack-o-Lantern- Dude, it's a Jack-O-Lantern headed man, in an old-timey suit, that breathes fire! Screw any other Jack-O-Lantern headed killers or monsters out there! Somebody make a spin-off using this monster!!!
|the ones of the left...|
|angry. angry. victims|
14. Suffocator- Another briefly seen monster, an undead man with a penchant for suffocating victims with plastic bags. Subtle, but least he looks cool!
|"please don't cut!"|
12. Dismemberment Goblins- A duo of crazed and mischievous goblins was first seen splitting a soldier in half (and dwarf tossing it), and later, through the monitors, riding a go cart. Heck, it has Gremlins written all over it, only more extreme! Gotta love that part!
|"I will fuck you, one way or another!"|
|Don't these guys know? You have to shoot them at their funny bones!|
|Ooooh, he's hungry!|
|If only the Strangers had one more guy...|
9. Dolls- A quartre of porcelain masked murderers. I'm a guy who owns a part of the web for this dedication for slasher flicks and anything else in between. Need I say more?
|that's just wrong in every way...|
8. Mutants- Though they were just in it for a few measly seconds, these freaks had the most funniest looking kill I've seen in history. Who knew death by toxic vomit would be so gross and randomly funny for me.
|I'll steal your soul!|
7. Witch- This is an awesome rendition of a traditional witch with equally awesome powers! So far only two is seen: levitation and the most creative visual death I've seen: literal soul-ripping!
|hush little baby...|
6. Alma Wade- AKA that creepy girl that stalks a wounded soldier. She's supposed to have psychic powers, but I'm just gonna admire the fact that she looks so calm and cool along with the mayhem.
|Patience is a virtue. Patience Buckner is not.|
6. The Buckners- Well, they're maybe undead pain worshipping backwood idiots, but they're our undead pain-worshipping backwood idiots.
|ain't that adorable~|
4. Sugarplum Fairy- Let's all agree with one thing: she's creepily adorable. I mean she does ballet while peeps are being mauled to bits! If it weren't for them raw of pointy teeth I would had hugged this baby!
|ah, the brony side of me...|
|eat your hear out, Jacob...|
2. Werewolf- though I'm rarely a fan of werewolf flicks, since there's very little good ones out there, I'm just glad to see a traditional werewolf here. And he's the best kind, too! Immune to gun shots! Best traditional werewolf ever!
|killer robots. we need more of these.|
Monsters I wish I've seen in action:
50 Foot Woman- Come on! What's a horror flick tribute without one of the hottest classic 50s B-Movie classic monster?
Kevin- Ah yes, the legendary "Kevin" That nice harmless guy that looks like he works at someplace like Walmart. How I really wished I've seen him...
The Huron- Sounds like an awesome monster! mentioned to be a Native American with a habit of scalping people, a probable tribute to my fave cheese fest slasher Scalps (1983)