WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS BODYCOUNT. HIGH RISK OF SPOILERS. ENTER IF YOU DARE.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Strangling the Time Away:The Hollywood Strangler meets the Skid Row Slasher (1979) & The Las Vegas Killer (1987) Double Bill Review

The Hollywood Strangler meets the Skid Row Slasher (1979)
rating: *
starring: Pierre Agostino, Carolyn Brandt and Chuck Alford

I never knew an hour of running time can also be an equivalence of, oh, I dunno, FOREVER! (dun dun duunnn!)
Yes, way to rub it in, Pinkie...
Hollywood Strangler is an odd exploitative Grindhouse, Drive-In slasher flick that actually has a unique gimmick; instead of people talking, we actually go through the whole movie with the scenes narrated by the thoughts of our titular strangler, which turns out to be a horrible idea. Not only does this dragged the film when the killer begins to ramble around with his own thoughts, but it also degrades the whole gig once the guy starts to do in-joke voices in his head. We hear him talk, and talk, and talk, and I really want to shove a shotgun down this guy's throat just to end it all, but unfortunately, somebody beats me to it.

Now, the odd part about this film is that it also tries to add a secondary killer here, who actually serves no purpose to the plot or whatsoever, other than the fact that the killer sees her now and then and began to obsess about her around the last 1/8th of the movie. Oh wait, did I just gave away the second killer's gender? Meh, doesn't matter, they show her anyways soon enough, and apparently she kills hobos! Ain't that nice. But with the strangler stranglin' and yappin with his inner voice and naked femme bodies everywhere, is there really a point to all this?

There isn't, honestly; kills are too tame and repetitive to make it any good, not a single character is above the other, and the whole story is, well, isn't any story. It's just some guy killing girls after posing as a photographer for a nudie mag or something. I'm sure you can do better with your Girndhouse/Drive-In flicks; unless you find bliss and tranquility with with all this, I suggest you go find yourself a REAL serial killer movie instead.

Bodycount:
1 female strangled
1 female strangled
1 male switchblade to the throat
1 female strangled with bathrobe
1 female smothered with pillow
1 male switchblade to the throat
1 female strangled with bikini-top, drowned in hot tub
1 female strangled
1 male throat slashed with switchblade
1 female strangled
1 female strangled
1 female strangled
1 male switchblade to the throat
1 female strangled
1 male dies from stab wounds
total: 15

The Las Vegas Killer (1987)
rating: 1/2
starring:  Pierre Agostino, Greg Dorchak and Kathryn Downey

A "sequel" to Hollywood Strangler meets the Skid Row Slasher, this "movie" hardly had anything to do with the aforementioned strangler, and rather is about some other nut with the same MO (but played by the same guy) who got released from prison after finding no solid evidence to back the accusations. All the while, we got two sunglasses wearing homos-I mean partners in crime, who are in a bag-snatching/robbery spree, prowling around Las Vegas for easy money. Of course, we have to be fateful to the title, and place our crazed strangler in Sin City.

But again, as of the previous movie, the two central "characters" never even met through out the story until the last act, which hardly made any sense at all! They even tried to do the "the end?" gag as if these guys think this movie's gonna sell like hot cakes in a Blue Volkswagon and make enough moolah to make another sequel! I don't think so! I mean, what was the fucking deal of the whole movie? Everything has to have a point! It may not be story wise, but what was it made for? Artistic license? Nope, nothing artsy about watching people do sightseeing in Las Vegas without uttering a single word. Yes, both killer and Snatch-o brothers hadn't uttered a word for the majority of the running time, and to think I thought listening to some wacko's imaginary friend was painful! Was the movie's point was to entertain? Please, In Living Color's Fire Marshall Bill was more entertaining than this and all he had to do is say his famous catchphrase and chuck his own gizzards out! Which was more fun than watching a man strangle random floozies with little or no inspiration or follow two thieves in their adventures through Las Vegas, which apparently includes a pizza dinner for two...
Cuz frying yer own brains is a healthier alternative
compared to this movie!
LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING! This movie, and it's predecessor, is a joke. Don't waste a minute of yer time with this. You're better off watching other trash classics than these two "movies". Now, would you excuse me, I have a date with a soap and a rope...
Bodycount:
1 female strangled
1 female strangled
1 female strangled
1 female strangled
1 female strangled
1 female strangled
1 female strangled
1 female strangled
1 female strangled
1 female strangled
1 male shot
total: 11

4 comments:

  1. I heard about that, but something in me prevented me from checking it out *phew* ;)

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  2. I've seen Hollywood - it is a slog. The director, Ray Dennis Steckler - was a fringe filmmaker who has one mark in cinematic history - he directed The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Zombies, as well as Rat Pfink a Boo Boo. One or both of the movies above were exercises for a filmmaking class he was teaching - and the class would go out and crew for him as he shot the movie, piecing it together and adding "story" through the narration tacked on later. I don't care for these movies - but I kinda like Ray Dennis.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Does he also has a thing for long, descriptive tiles? Anyways, I can appreciate an exercise of film as well, so long as it has a good side; sadly these films he had...ugh, there's nothing good about them other than the fact I could probably use it for reference and to throw insult at...

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