WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS BODYCOUNT. HIGH RISK OF SPOILERS. ENTER IF YOU DARE.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Short Shear Terror: Forklift Driver Klaus (2001)

Forklift Driver Klaus (Staplerfahrer Klaus - Der erste Arbeitstag) (Germany, 2001)
Rating: ***1/2
starring:  Konstantin Graudus, Gustav Adolph Artz and Jürgen Kittel

Meet Klaus Weseck, one of the 37,000 professionally trained and employed forklift truck drivers. This is his first day on the job and he (along with the voice of Germany's educational traffic behavior narrator Egon Hoegen) will teach you the proper use of forklifts and the various hazards you can avoid in the work place; like running people over, hands getting chopped off, metal sheets slicing people, impalings and even a chainsaw decapitation.

The film, which is ten minutes long, is a dark-parody of instructional videos criss-crossed with the horror rule that anything can be used as a weapon, or at least proven dangerous, in this case the clumsy warehouse forklift, as the source of its humor. The movie starts out like a cheesy instructional video, but soon gores in the cheap but surely delightful grue that had every possible sort of accidents befall on anyone. (including Klaus himself) The accidents all gets crazier, messier and funnier than the last until we reach something I'm proud to call the "Forklift Massacre!" (Cuz you don't need to step out of the office for a industrial tool massacre!)

The charm of the movie comes from its authentic feel, thanks to Hoegen's stellar voice narration and cartoon cut-aways that includes a bit of educational tips on forklift handling, adding a bit of irony to the given situation. Anyone with a funny bone for the red stuff, or those looking for a weird short film to share with your friends, will find a swell time around Klaus and his forklift of unintentional doom, so give it a try when you can find it!

Just make sure you wear a hard hat.
Bodycount:
1 male impaled on a forklift, arm sliced off through metal sheet
1 male decapitated by chainsaw
1 male impaled on forklift
1 male sliced in half by metal sheet and a chainsaw
total: 4

2 comments:

  1. LOL Klaus is badass, an absolutely hilarious short film classic :)

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    Replies
    1. best moment for me: the soundproof room!

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