WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS BODYCOUNT. HIGH RISK OF SPOILERS. ENTER IF YOU DARE.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Swimming with the fishes: Humanoids from the Deep (1980)

Humanoids from the Deep (1980) (AKA Monster: Humanoids from the Deep, Beneath the Darkness)
rating:***
starring: Doug McClure, Ann Turkel and Vic Morrow

A species of humanoid amphibians began to surface in a small fishing town, looking for females to mate with, and a few others to kill and devour. Since this is the first time the town is seeing these freaks, some sort of explanation is needed, hence comes a trio of concerned citizens, including a fisherman, a bashed Native American, and a scientist who may know something about the mutations. But when the humanoids began to murder more innocent lives and violently molests buxom girls, could they make it in time to stop all these creatures from rampaging in an upcoming Salmon fest?

Thus sets us off to 80 minutes of pure B-flick wonderland full of boobs, blood and men in giant frog suits! Executive Produced by Roger Corman, who had handled a fair number of slasher titles before such as Chopping Mall, Stripped To Kill and my cult fave Slumber Party Massacre II,  Humanoids from the Deep actually felt more like a sleazier mish-mash of 50s sci-fi monster flick and a little known supernatural slasher flick I like to call The Incubus, hellbent on delighting fright fans with a plot so obscure it's bound to be crazy entertaining! In my eyes, the whole thing is just too thin to be anything but a movie, but who cares when you can poke an eye on the funny looking gill-men and their horny mission to bone every single female they can find, or the fact that there's a lot of weird looking editing done to process the entire film. To be honest, I'm having a hard time squeezing out some good things to say about this film that would appeal to the masses, but the only shit I can come up with are either tits or monsters. More leaning on the tits, and too some weird pre-sex scenes that includes ventriloquist dummies and a guy repeatedly surprising his gal underwater, but let's focus on the rest of the flick.

So far, the pros coming from this film would be it's quick pacing and some pretty cool scenes that goes with it; there's nothing much going on around this film save fish rape, fish kill and uh, fish monsters, so you can bet it's easy to follow but the overall silliness of the dialogue and a hefty number of slimy monster attacks made  the entire movie itself less jarring than one would expect, and would probably set off the idea that Humanoids was made entirely just to entertain horror fans with something so bizarre, cheesy and bloody. (Save those who're into deep stories, character development, emotional twists and whatnot. Seriously? I can understand that if yer looking in a general horror blog, but this is a slasher blog! We worship the cheese, simplistic plotting and bodycount!)

The monsters themselves kinda proves my point of this film's sole purpose to entertain through corniness; they're fish men with long arms, bulging brain and had seaweed draped on their backs. I'm pretty sure they only had three suits, cuz every shot of them whenever  in a rampage looked like as if it's shot from a different angle and made it look like as if there's many of them. That may be true, but the big bastards are unintentionally funny, so I'm looking pass their rubbery hide and accept them for who they are. Besides, any kind of monster man enough to rampage through an entire festival celebrating Salmon is bound to earn some respect! Especially if this scenes just so happens to be the very climax of the film.

In the end, we're left wide open to the possibility of a sequel. I mean, they said it themselves; fish men kills and rape, so what happens when a naked D-cup gal gets humped by a mutant frog? They bear baby Christopher Walkens! ...no wait...Sorry, my bad, mutant fishes. Other than that, has it occurred to anyone that the big fire they lit that night to burn the Humanoids may not really work? I mean, they lit it with gasoline. Gasoline's oil. Oil separates from water, so if I imagined this right, it'll only be the surface of the water that'll be on fire. So the Humanoids can just swim underneath it, right? Am I thinking too much? Bottom line is, open-ended conclusion, but seeing how incredibly stupid the film is, not hard to picture why there isn't any. Probably for the best!

So that's it; Humanoids from the Deep fails as a high class monster flick that ole Roger Corman was trying to disguise it as, in hopes of attracting big names (did he forgot some of these guys can read?), but as a B-flick with a bodycount (both dead and flashing alive), it definitely works in my book.

Bodycount:
1 boy dragged underwater, killed
3 males immolated in explosion
1 dog strangled, mauled to death
2 dogs found mauled and disemboweled
1 dog seen clawed on the side
1 male face mauled open
1 male back clawed open
1 female raped by a monster, presumably killed
1 monster brained by a thrown crowbar
1 monster shot with rifle
1 female and 1 monster immolated in car explosion
1 monster shot with rifle
1 monster shot with rifle
1 monster shot with rifle
1 monster shot with rifle
1 monster shot on the chest with harpoon
1 monster shot with rifle
1 monster shot on the head with rifle
1 male thrown to the water, killed
2 males mauled underwater
1 male mauled underwater
1 male neck clawed open
1 male neck broken
1 male bearhugged to death, gut clawed open
1 male head torn off
1 male mauled
1 male neck mauled open
1 male neck mauled open
1 male chest clawed open
1 monster brained with rock
1 monster shot with rifle
1 monster shot with rifle
1 monster shot with rifle
1 monster head bashed open with wooden plank
1 monster beaten to death
1 monster stabbed to death with kitchen knife
1 female baby monster bursts out of her womb
total: 42

4 comments:

  1. Hooray for Humanoids, one of my favorite 80s guilty pleasures! and what a high body count! 42? really that much? ok, I guess most of them died in the climax... and what an amazing climax it is!

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  2. That is a big bodycount! Huzzah Humanoids from the Deep! One of my faves of all time - and totally holds up!

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