Monster Man to The Rescue!: Grotesque (1988)

Grotesque (1988)
Rating: **
Starring: Linda Blair, Tab Hunter and Donna Wilkes

What could be better than watching psuedo-scream queen Linda Blair and genre-friendly Donna Wilkes in a slasher film? Why, make it a slasher film about home invasion, that's how! Packed with enough twists and turns to spin you silly and rightfully confused!

Hmm, two scream queens in one movie?!
WHAT'S NEXT AMERICA?!

In Grotesque (1988), Lisa (Linda Blair) is the daughter of a well-known makeup artist and special-effects imagineer, Orville Krueger. She invites her best friend Kathy (Donna Wilkes) to her family's annual reunion, a gathering taking place up on a snowy mountain inn, a property owned by the Kreugers. This unfortunately meant that help is far from reach when a gang of punk-heads begins stalking them in search of thrills and cash. As the punks torture and murder the family, they weren't expecting a bloody twist to their escapade: the Kruegers are hiding a relative in that cabin, one who happens to be a deformed monster who now thirsts for vengeance!

Now, the plot is really okay on my book and the production looks quite nice overall. What makes Grotesque (1988) an intriguing watch is that the story does feel like it's divided into three different acts: a home invasion, a monster-slasher killings spree, and a campy comic book-inspired last act.

First of, I am impressed with the main villains here: though overacted, these punks did manage to be threatening to say the least, as plain ruthless bad guys who have nothing special but their numbers. Their attack on the poor family has its strong distressing moments, particularly on how much cheeky taunting they've done just to be cruel, but in the end of the matter, they are meant to be meat. Easy-to-hate meat as the plot's first twist calls for them to be slaughtered in a sort-of "reverse slasher" second act.

This is when the vigilante monster curveball gets thrown at us. It could have been a good one seeing these annoying bastards are getting their just desserts, but with a quick pace breezing through these parts with hardly any build-up to thrill us, as well as the kills being too clean and barely sparking any satisfaction, frankly I prefer this revenge act to be done with at least some powertools. Still, the old monster have done a few good number on the creeps so it still calls for some fair noting. (He snapped a punk's spine against a tree! I have to give him credit for that!)

The last act is where the movie shifts to a EC-comic style revenge plot, going through yet more twists and turns in the last running seconds, all looking silly and, frankly, reeks of strong cheese. While we all know the monster is a relative, the last act reveals that there's more to it than just that and what would have been a satisfying way to get even with these effing punks, another reveal comes in and have the film all wrapped up in a comical fashion. This last twist will either bring a sigh of relief and a few chuckles along the way, or have us feel cheated after all the patience-testing investigations and interrogations we have to sit through. Never the less, it's an odd way to end an odd film.

With all of these shifting and turning that resembles the driving skills of a schizophrenic, Grotesque (1988) comes out unfocused yet unintentionally funny. One minute we're cringing in fear as a family succumbs to unforeseen torment, the next have a deformed freak killing the villains. It's crazy yet watchable if one's into crazy movies. (Crazy might be an understatement. How on Earth could a bigshot FX artists like Orville fail to own some fancy security system to save them from all these troubles in the first place?) With a slight amateurish look and some slasher rules broken, the film might as well be a very long episode of an old school TV horror series like Tales from The Crypt, Tales from the Dark Side or, dare I say, Monsters. Some people might find this film a mishap, but as a time-waster, it has its highlights.

Bodycount:
1 male gets a firepoker buried into his head
1 female found with a throat cut
1 female gutted with a knife
1 male bearhugged to death
1 female had her head twisted
1 female had her back snapped against a tree
1 male had his face crushed
1 female punched through the gut
1 male had his neck broken
1 male shot on the face with a shotgun
1 female dies from a blood clot
Total: 11