WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS BODYCOUNT. HIGH RISK OF SPOILERS. ENTER IF YOU DARE.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Hell Yeah, Bra!: Dude Bro Party Massacre III (2015)

Dude Bro Party Massacre III (2015)
Rating: ****
Starring:  Alec Owen, Patton Oswalt, Paul Prado


As of the last few decades, spoof films are getting a little out of hand; with drecks like the near entire Scary Movie franchise (Except Scary Movie III. I love that for some unexplained but rubbishly hilarious reason), Epic Movie, and Breaking Wind destroying the good reputation films like the Naked Gun series, the Hot Shots pair, Mel Brooks masterpieces, and the ever lovable Airplane! worked hard for, it's no surprise many people nowadays groan at the fact that every year, we are likely to get three to five spoof titles to be released.

Still, among guilty pleasures like Meet The Spartans, Haunted House, and Vampires Suck!, I still find some worthy spoof attempts that made me chuckle for a worthwhile, one of which being this strange concoction.

Taking cues from other films like Thankskilling 3 and The Pick-axe Murders part 3, Dude Bro Party Massacre III is the supposed third chapter of a slasher franchise centered on an all-dude sorority being massacred by a deformed femme-fatale called Motherface.

The film begins with one of the two survivors of the massacres, Brock Chirino, in session with the school psychiatrist; as he gorily (with much accuracy and detail) explains the events of the first two massacres, he believes Motherface is still out there to get him and the rest of the bros despite the fact that he watched her burned to death during their last encounter. And unfortunately for him, though, said psychiatrist is in kahootz with the killer he fears so much as she ends their session by slicing Brock's neck open.

So after that 6 minutes of double digit killings and a quick opening title, we now follow Brock's identical twin Brent Chirino, out to investigate his brother's death. One way he believes to accomplish this is to join the same sorority his brother was on and, being a legacy, he was taken in quite warmly and even allowed to partake at an elaborately expensive prank that soon goes horribly wrong when it leads to a private jet crashing to an orphanage, killing 250. (Summer of Massacre (2011), eat your heart out!)

Turns out this isn't the first time the bros have done something extremely stupid as their last prank had an entire town of 3000 drowned in a dam incident(?!). Understandably tired of their shenanigans, the campus head decided to send them up to an old cabin in the woods, unknown to the boys that she, along with the local police, are working with Motherface to finally rid them all since, again, their pranks are killing more innocent people than our mad slasher killing off drunk partying frat boys.

To inquire enough strength in her mission to kill, Motherface needs to be empowered by a ritual that requires a virgin sacrifice. This is where the cops come in, more precisely the dimwitted yet well-meaning Officer Sminkle. Persuaded under the belief that the frat boys are actually bags of oranges and  they can be restored back to their original form by bopping them on the nose (just roll with it), Sminkle is sent on a trip to the same cabin the boys are staying where he will be killed. But when his supposed backstabber-slash-partner, Officer Buttiker, is starting to feel guilty over the lovable buffoon who sleeps with his eyes open, things may not be as easy.

Without giving out more of the plot, the boys reach their cabin and set up a party there with Andrew W.K (?!), while Brent further investigates his brother's death with weird flashbacks and conveniently placed clues. Cue in Motherface killing most of the boys in every gory and outlandish manner imaginable, things couldn't get any crazier!

Now, if you've seen the 80s slasher spoof trio Student bodies (1981), Wacko! (1982) and Pandemonium (1982), you can expect the same kind of zany craziness and bizarre hookum in Dude Bro, only with the silliness dial turned up to a ten and packing a copious amount of gore. I am simply lost for words on how crazy the plot is and how much energy it has in delivering these silly scenes. (The same energy lost from most of the spook flicks being crapped out of Hollywood big wigs recently.)

The jokes hit fast and are cleverly executed, acting is just spot on with the zanny nature of the film, and some of the kills are the best I've seen in years; hell, I even wished they did made those other two films for real just for the kick of it! While things did got rocky with the Sminkles and Buttiker sub-plot, and I can tell from my end that this is going to be a film of selected (or at least open-minded) taste, the payoff was well worth the wait and the laughs along the way. I guess it shouldn't be a surprise how good the comedy was for this film since the production behind it, 5 Second Films, had been doing comedy for years now and that kind of experience can help hone the craft.

This being all said, Dude Bro Party Massacre III is a spoof that deserves to be respected and admired among the bad seeds, may you be a horror fanatic, a parody enthusiast, or someone who's partying with their bros while aimlessly drunk in beer. (Most likely the latter!) They did say the third film in a franchise is always the cheesiest (Friday the 13th part 3-D), the oddest (Scream 3), and the wildest (Maniac Cop 3: Badge of Silence), and this film made that claim all clear with its own whacky style!

Bodycount:
1 male beheaded by the mouth with a thrown buzzsaw
1 male his groin shot through with a harpoon gun
1 female had her head mouth through with a harpoon gun
1 male gets a thrown spear to the gut
1 male slashed to death with a machete
1 male gets a thrown javelin through the mouth
1 male beheaded with a machete
1 male had his head explode...from solving a rubix cube apparently
1 female gutted with a chainsaw
1 male had his throat slashed with a knife
6 females electrocuted with a live wire
1 male electrocuted via current
1 male killed, blood splash seen
2 males electrocuted and burnt via rigged arcade game
1 male and 1 female killed in car crash
1 male hacked on the neck with a sign post
1 male forced face first to an electric juicer
1 female set on fire
1 male had his throat cut with a pair of scissors, disemboweled
250 killed in "plane prank"
3000 killed in "dam prank" (flashback)
1 female stabbed to death with a letter opener
1 male shot himself on the mouth
1 male ran over by a van
1 male pushed to a fuse box, electrocuted
1 male stabbed on the head with a beer keg coupier
1 male stabbed on the head with a katana, dismembered
1 male crushed by a tree, pulled in half with a rope
1 male drove off a cliff, immolated (commercial)
1 male beheaded, head thrown
1 male forced to tear out his tongue, drowned in a lake
1 male gut slashed with a knife, had his guts pulled out and flushed down a toilet
1 male shot himself on the head
1 female ran through and sliced in half with a fire poker
1 male found disemboweled
1 male found in half
1 male hacked on the head with a thrown hatchet
1 female beaten to death
1 male explodes...for some reason
Total: 3294

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