Who's Been Naughty?: Silent Night (2012)

Silent Night (Canada/US, 2012)
Rating: ***1/2
Starring: Jaime King, Malcolm McDowell and Donal Logue

Ah, Christmas once again! Time of joy, love, and various overpriced toys! I've done my Christmas shopping, bought myself a collected edition of Agents of Atlas comics at a discount price, and indulged on a boneless buffalo wing meal at the Old Spaghetti House. For this slasher fan, though, a festive day wouldn't be complete without a festive movie, and what's more fitting than seeing a movie about Santa Claus? A horrible, mean-spirited movie about Santa Claus? Something like, Silent Night (2012)?

Remaking a cult classic like Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) is a really big leap for anybody to try, but I kept my expectations low as, by this point, we already have dozens of killer Santa flicks already! So what would make this one any different? Perhaps what's left for me to do with this one is at least see how good of a slasher movie it's going to be and, thank buddy Jesus, it hits a lot of good marks!

Little less of a remake and more of a movie of its own standing, Silent Night (2012) is about a masked loonie in a Santa get-up loose on Christmas Eve, killing every "naughty" people he sees in a small American town. Hot on his trail is the town's police force, including Sheriff Cooper (Malcolm McDowell) and Deputy Aubrey Bradimore (Jamie King), but as every small town celebrating Christmas Eve, there bounds to be many in the red suit, thus weeding the killer out among these Saint Nicks proves to be a difficult task. It would soon become a race against time for them to stop the killer Kris Kringle from depopulating the town and make this silent night truly deadly...

Hailing back to the golden age of 80s slasher, Silent Night (2012) is pretty by the numbers; murders are plenty and thankfully gory, the cast is likable in varying strength, and it's paced perfectly and crazily to avoid any boring scenes. We got foul-mouthed brats, nude photo shoots, a pervy preacher, and even not one, but two! Count them! Two white-wash Santas with a deep hate for Christmas! No wonder these boys and girls in blue are having a hard time pinning down the real culprit! It's a darkly comic backlash to what Christmas is usually about, but bless it, they made it fun, amping the nihilistic tone of the original Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984), while keeping the humor and irony of all things.

The murders here are exceptionally brutal, I'll give you all that! We got some nods to the original film such as a familiar looking antler impalement and, too, a tribute to the popular Garbage Day meme. The rest are a creative variety of classic  and badass kills, ranging from your usual knife stabbings and fairy light strangling, to death by iron knuckles and a mean improvised flamethrower! Best of all, it's rarely CGed and even if some were, it's only to enhance the practical effects. (Though, there are some soiled ones that ended looking a tad too fake. An axe thrown and some hooker falling down from a building in slow-mo, just to name a few)

Now, the casting is something up for the fans. Being a modest fan of Malcolm McDowell, I'm glad he is given a role that's quite a scene-stealer, which might be a good or a bad thing for you all depending on your take on the man as his instances to go a little over the top would either make you laugh or shrug. Jaime King also played her character straight enough for my liking, making the role a modest one that I can personally root for. I'm also pleasantly surprised to see Ellen Wong here as the police station's quirky receptionist; last time I saw her, she played the 17 year old lovestruck Chinese Canadian ninja groupie Knives Chau from Scott Pilgrim vs The World (2010). Then there's Donal Logue as a Santa with a lot of personal issues with the holidays, giving out all the bad from the good of this festive season, all the while being a witty asshole. The rest are good, just good, while some could use a little more work.

A Christmas cookie for all who loves a good holiday slasher and perhaps those looking for a sequel that pays more respect to its predecessor rather than overthrowing it, Silent Night (2012) is a fun watch for that time of the year. Devilish humor, splatter worthy gore, great production values and some well-acted parts, all in all a slasher flick that works every department just right enough. Best to enjoy this flick on its own rather than a "remake".

Bodycount:
1 male electrocuted with fairy lights
1 girl gets a cattle prod to the chest, impaled with fire poker
1 female found rotting in pieces
1 female hacked with a scythe through the gut
1 male gets a scythe to the groin, killed
1 female has leg chopped off with an axe, shredded through woodchipper
1 male stabbed to death with a kitchen knife
1 female set ablaze with an improvised flamethrower (flashback)
1 male strangled with fairy lights
1 female impaled through deer antlers
1 male had his head split in half with an axe
1 male shot on the head
1 male gets a hammer to the eye
1 male set ablaze with flamethrower
1 male found disemboweled
1 male pounded to death with iron knuckles
1 male shot, set ablaze (flashback)
Total: 17